Heart Breaths (22 page)

There was glass everywhere, and Devi was screaming. Everything hurt, and I couldn’t move. “Ravi? Ravi!

No. No.

I tried to turn toward the backseat, trying to keep my eyes off Ravi’s dead body. Oh, God, he was dead. My Ravi. My sunshine. My anchor. Oh, God. “Devi?”

She was screaming; hysterical.

“Devi, it’s okay, baby, it’s okay.”

But it wasn’t okay. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t see Devi. I looked through the rearview mirror, which was cracked. There was blood everywhere. “Devi!” I screamed.

“Mama!”

She was still alive. She’d be okay. She had to be. Her sobs started to quiet, followed by little gasps. “Devi?”

No answer. There was no sound in the car but the whisper of her breaths, growing slower and slower. “It’s okay, Devi, it’s okay,” I said, my voice hoarse. It wasn’t okay. My baby was dying and I couldn’t fix it.

“I’m sorry, Devi. I’m sorry…” It took everything I had to keep talking. She needed to know. I needed her to hear this. “Maiṁ tumasē pyāra karatā hūm. Maiṁ tumasē pyāra karatā hūm. Maiṁ tumasē pyāra karatā hūm…”I love you. I love you. I love you.

The firemen said that’s how they found us.

Ravi and Devi, dead on arrival. Me? Drifting in and out of consciousness, murmuring in some foreign language none of them understood.

It was a tragedy, they said.

They didn’t know the half of it.

“Does Gabe know?” I asked, my head still spinning.

“About what?”

“Everything.”

“I told him about it,” she said. “He didn’t want to believe it. The nightmares worry him to no end, trust me, but believing past life experiences, especially something like that? He doesn’t want to believe it, honey. That’s why he’s so freaked out about you being Devi’s mom for real.”

“Because if that’s true, then so is the rest of it.” I finished the sentence for her.

She nodded. “Exactly.”

We lay there for what seemed like forever. “God, Sam, what am I supposed to do?” I asked, hearing my voice break. “What should I do?”

“About which part?” she asked.

“Any of it. All of it.”

“Honey, you coming here was one of the best things you could have done for Noie,” she said. “And for Gabe.”

“And for me,” I whispered.

Because it was.

She squeezed my hand. “I don’t know what you’re going to do,” she admitted. “But we’re going to fix this, okay?”

“I don’t know if I want all of it fixed,” I admitted.

Sam turned her head to look at me. “Madeline?” she said. “Do you love him?”

I glanced away, not willing to meet her eyes. “I don’t know,” I whispered, feeling the words scrape out of me. “I could.”

“We’ll fix it,” she said, her voice soft. “Because I’m pretty sure he loves you, too.”

I could feel my eyes start to droop. It had been a long night. “Love you, Sam,” I whispered.

“Love you, too, Maddie,” she whispered back.

There was a note on the nightstand when I woke up the next morning.

Maddie–

I had to get back home to change before work. We’re going to work this out, I swear.

Love you,

Sam

I could feel the tears threaten to start. I clutched the letter and thanked God, Vishnu, the universe, karma, whoever, for the day that I met Samantha Jo Mendez.

“Good morning,” Grandma called as I walked into the kitchen.

I smiled at her, this smile not as hard to plaster across my face. “Good morning,” I replied.

She tilted her head and looked at me for a minute. “You doing okay there?” she asked.

I shrugged. “Better,” I replied.

“Good,” she said. “Bring these muffins to the front, please, darlin’.”

“Sure,” I said, grabbing the tray and heading toward the front.

I could do it today. I could let my heart breathe through today. Because Gabe or no Gabe, I still had Sam. I had Hannah, Mary Elizabeth, Chris, Bryan, and I had Grandma Evelyn.

I was finding the people who helped my heart breathe.

I smiled as I slid the tray into place. Salena was proud of me, I knew that.

The bell tinkled, and I continued to wipe down the counter, trying to scrub off a stubborn bit of food that had dried there during the lunch rush. “Good afternoon,” drawled a voice.

I froze.

I knew that voice.

That deceptively pretty voice. One that haunted Sam. Haunted Gabe.

What the hell was she doing here?

Looking up, I plastered a smile on my face, itching to run screaming in the other direction. God, this was the last thing I needed right now. The last thing any of us needed now. “Can I help you?” I said, clenching the rag.

She was beautiful.

There was no two ways about it. Diane was the kind of person that made you wonder if you deserved to be breathing the same kind of air as someone who looked like her.

Flawless.

If I hadn’t hated her before, the jealousy that snuck up on me now made me hate her. No wonder Gabe doesn’t want you. This is who he used to date.

God, Noie was going to be beautiful when she grew up.

“I’d like an iced coffee, skim milk and two Splendas,” she said, smiling at me.

She had no idea who I was. Why would she? It’s not like she would.

“Anything else with that?” I asked, teeth clenched. I had to call Sam. I had to make sure she didn’t come in with Noie.

I had to keep Noie safe. Regardless of what Gabe said, of what he wanted to believe, of what he wanted to accept, I always would love Noie with everything I had. And there was no way in hell that I was going to let Diane near Noie. Absolutely no way.

“That’s all,” she said, perching her hand on her hip. Pulling out the ingredients for her iced coffee, I eyed her surreptitiously. Her clothing was tacky but expensive, and it looked like her roots were starting to show.

I was perversely pleased by that.

“You’re not from around here, are you?” she drawled.

“No, I’m not,” I replied.

“Oh.” She looked disappointed.

“Why?”

“Oh, I was just looking to see if some friends of mine still were in town,” she said, smiling.

Oh, no you weren’t.

“Well, I’ve been here for a while,” I said. “Maybe I know them?”

“Oh, maybe,” she said. “Gabe Mendez?”

Every cell in my body turned on red alert. “Gabe’s not here now,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm.

“Are you sure?” she asked, her voice not as sweet anymore. “Because I heard that he was.”

“You must have heard wrong,” I said, finished preparing her iced coffee.

“Oh, well, that is such a shame,” she said. “I know that he wants to see me.”

“And I’m sure you heard wrong about that, too,” I muttered.

“Excuse me?” she snapped.

“I’m sorry?” I replied, pretending I didn’t say anything.

The bell tinkled and I tensed. Don’t let it be Gabe, I prayed. Don’t let it be Gabe.

“Hey, Maddie!”

Shit. Sam.

I looked frantically, and breathed a small sigh of relief. Noie wasn’t with her.

Diane’s expression grew practically feral and she turned around. “Oh, my!” she chirped. “Samantha Jo Mendez! I was
just
talking about you!”

Sam’s eyes narrowed. “What the hell are you doing here?” she snapped, stalking toward us. The café had gone unusually silent, as if the patrons knew that something was happening.

“Oh, I was in the neighborhood and I was just on my way to see your brother,” Diane said, her smile terrifying.

“Over my dead body,” said Sam, fierce. “Don’t you have a boyfriend waiting for you in Florida? Robert? Or has he figured out that you were doing his dad, and maybe hanging out with a walking STD isn’t a good idea for his sexual health?”

I nearly choked as I tried to keep from laughing.

“Excuse me?” Diane hissed, leaning toward Sam.

“Next time you start whining on the phone in a dressing room, maybe you shouldn’t do it loud enough for all of us to hear your conversation,” I said, tired of Diane and her stupid, pointless drama.

She had to leave.

“You, too, Miss I’m Not From Here?” She leaned toward me. “I have some advice for you, Yankee bitch. Stay out of other people’s business.”

I had grown up with my mother, and had watched her take people down, piece by piece. Diane had nothing on Miranda Jane Darlington-Gray. Nothing.

“Oh, honey, this is
so
my business,” I replied, letting the ice creep into my voice.

“Well, yes, I do have a friend Robert,” she said. “And since I’m moving down to Florida, I thought that it would be best if I took my daughter with me.”

Something inside of me snapped.

Leaning over the counter, I lowered my voice until the only ones who could hear it were Diane and Sam. “I’m going to say this one time,” I began, letting myself channel the infinite bitchiness that was my legacy as a Darlington-Gray. I may have embarrassed my mother, but damn if she hadn’t taught me how to put people in their place. “Because that’s as many times as it’s going to be necessary for you to hear this, do you understand, you pathetic excuse of a gold-digger? Excellent.”

Diane flinched a little. But I was nowhere close to done with her. “When Noie was born, you signed away all rights in exchange for a very, very, very large sum of money. There are papers that state to this effect. Gabe paid you, and you left, and that was it. Now, obviously, you’ve run out of money, and chances are Robert isn’t actually going to let you move in with him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he already has a harem of women installed in his house, each one as pathetic as you are. But in much better luck, because they’re with him, and you’ve stooped to attempting to blackmail Gabe again. Again, because I know you’ve done it before.”

I leaned forward, just enough to make her take a small step back. “Unless you’re pining for a nice, long stay at the North Carolina State Penitentiary, I would leave Eno if I were you. Not only would I leave Eno, I would leave the state of North Carolina. I happen to be friends with the governor of North Carolina, going to school with his daughter and all, and I know that he would be quite interested to hear about this little predicament of yours. Not to mention the overdue credit card bills which I’m sure have been collecting.”

Letting every ounce of ice I had drip into the next sentence, I looked at her. “And make no mistake. If I hear of you crossing state lines, your miserable, pathetic ass and poorly done boob job will end up wearing orange so fast you won’t have time to offer anyone any favors in an attempt to get you off. Is that clear?”

Sam gaped at me in shock, and Diane’s face had gone ashen.

Good.

“Why do you even give a shit?” she said. “She’s just some stupid kid, and he was a good fuck.”

Reaching over, I grabbed a hold of her shirt and pulled her toward me. “Never ever think you can disrespect them like that,” I hissed. Letting her go abruptly, I stared at her, and waited for a bolt of lightning come and strike her stupid ass.