#Heart (Hashtag #6) (4 page)

Romeo

Getting out of bed sucked.

Especially when it was early, cold out, and my sexy ass woman was pressed up against me, naked.

I thought about slowly waking her up, teasing her folds open with my lips, and penetrating her with my tongue until she was drenched, breathing heavy, and ready for my cock.

Yeah, the idea had merit.

Okay, it was the best idea I’d ever had.

But I held myself back.

Ever since I’d put that ring on her finger and I came home for the off-season, I’d been on her like yellow on a taxi. She never complained. Hell, half the time, she started it. I actually didn’t plan on giving her much rest either, but this morning I would. She was sleeping so soundly when I slipped out from beneath her, I knew letting her rest was the best thing.

But there were no breaks for me.

I pulled on some workout shorts and went into the gym, pushing the door around, but not latching it. Closing it all the way only resulted in Murphy sitting outside and meowing like he was being tortured. Last time I did it, he woke Rimmel, and she’d come bursting into the room without her glasses, no pants, and wild hair, thinking there was some emergency.

It’d been funny as hell.

However, she didn’t think so.

So now I left the door open slightly so Murphy could satisfy his curiosity by looking in here and then disappearing.

I started out with some light calisthenics and then pushed some earbuds into my ears and pulled up a running mix on my phone. The off-season was time for players to let their bodies heal from the constant abuse they were put through during football season. We were told not to train too hard or too long, that our bodies needed time to recover just like our minds.

I still worked out almost every day. I wasn’t about to lose any of the conditioning I’d worked on for the past several years. My arm was back full strength, and I’d finished up the season really strong. So strong that I had another three-year contract already signed.

And damn, the money was fucking sweet.

If I’d thought one million had been a lot for my first season… well, the number I was getting now made that literally look like change one found in the couch cushions.

I knew Rim didn’t care, but I sure as hell liked knowing I could take of her the way I wanted to.

Dad lined up a meeting with an accountant and financial advisor, and we were meeting with him next week so I could set up some accounts and shit to make sure I had everything in place the way it needed to be. Dad was also drafting up a will for me to make sure everything went into Rim’s name if anything ever happened to me.

I didn’t like thinking like an adult. It seemed like a foreign concept. I’d rather goof off with B and play ball. But I was an adult now. It wasn’t just age that made me one either. It was experience. Everything we’d been through.

I had a wife to think about.

No, technically, Rimmel and I weren’t married yet, but the second I put that ring on her finger, she became my wife to me. It wasn’t a feeling I planned on fighting. She was it. My heart knew it. That’s all that mattered.

The amount of money coming at me was insane. I needed some help on how to handle it all. Sure, my family had always been well off. I’d never wanted for anything, but even my parents didn’t have the kind of money I did now.

I wasn’t about to blow it all on stupid shit. If we were smart, we could live on what I was making for the rest of our lives. Thinking about the future was something I’d been doing a lot of lately. I had everything I wanted right now. It was all pretty fucking perfect.

I knew how easily that could change.

It hadn’t been an easy road to get to this point, and as basically the head of this family, it was my responsibility to make sure if shit went south, we’d all be taken care of.

But for right now, everything was good.

The stuff that mattered anyway. Sure, there might be some drama brewing with the Knights. Nothing I couldn’t handle. I wasn’t about to participate in it, but I’d keep an eye on it.

Just another reason to maybe put a little pressure on Gamble to sign B already. It was in the works; we had a meeting with Dad later today.

We = me + B.

It’d be nice to have my best friend on the field with me again. And even better to have someone I trusted completely to watch my back.

Not that I felt threatened.

Yet.

If the past had taught me anything, though, it was just because something didn’t appear threatening at first, it didn’t mean it wasn’t.

Cough, cough
, *Zach*
cough, cough.

I bumped up the speed on the treadmill a bit to go harder, pushed the thoughts out of my head, and focused on the run. When that was done, I hit the weights until the back of my neck prickled with awareness and I knew I wasn’t alone.

She was turning away to scurry off when I caught her out of the corner of my eye. I went on alert immediately because I knew if she was hovering this early in the door where only I was, she needed me.

I thought back to the shout I heard early this morning, but then it was followed by silence.

I had a sinking feeling whatever she was about to tell me was going to threaten the “good” that our family was finally getting back to.

Braeden

I reached for her.

She wasn’t there.

All traces of sleep and comfort burst like a balloon hit with a dart. I jerked up, blinking, trying to assimilate my surroundings. The room was dim, but daylight pushed at the edges of the blinds. Ivy’s pajamas (my shirt) were draped over the corner of the bed, and her scent lingered in the room.

I glanced at the clock, noting I had a couple hours before classes. I learned a long time ago not to take classes too early in the morning.

That shit was for people who didn’t value sleep.

The blankets were tangled around me like I’d been tossing and turning, and it took a second to get out of bed without falling over and busting my ass. Once I was free, I grabbed some clothes from the dresser and walked across the hall stark naked.

On my way, I heard Prada barking at Ivy downstairs, and her light laugh filtered up the stairwell. The corner of my mouth tipped up as I continued on into the shower.

I stood under the hot spray for long minutes, just letting the water pelt me as I tried to erase the worst of the exhaustion from my brain.

I hadn’t been sleeping well.

Not lately.

A guy would think a couple months after the shit hit the fan and finally calmed back down, he’d be sleeping better than ever. That wasn’t the case.

If anything, a good night’s sleep seemed harder and harder to achieve.

Before, it had been about Ivy. About making sure she was healing. All the injuries she sustained during that accident with
him
had taken weeks and weeks to heal. Her mental state was precarious as well. I was damn proud when she announced she was going to therapy and then lifted her chin as if she’d challenge whatever joke I made about a head shrink.

Hell. I didn’t make any joke. If anything, I fell for her a little more because she was willing to admit she needed some help dealing.

Turns out talking to a professional—and dare I say someone who didn’t want to punch a window every time she needed to work through what that fucker put her through—really helped her.

So time went on. Rome and Rim got engaged. His first NFL season ended, and he came home for the off-season. A new semester began at Alpha U, and Drew moved into the guest room permanently.

And the best part about it all was Zach wasn’t out there lurking and plotting to hurt someone I loved. He was gone. Dead. Burned to death.

He couldn’t hurt my family anymore.

But he was haunting me.

That entire night haunted me.

I couldn’t shake the fear of almost losing Ivy forever. I was a different guy since, like a switch inside me flipped and there was no way to flip it back.

I grabbed the soap and scrubbed myself clean, then let the suds rinse away while I washed my hair.

The nightmare last night had been the worst one. Even though some of it was hazy, I remembered the mind-numbing fear of Ivy being dead. I’d never been a fearful guy. I wasn’t afraid of life or anything it threw at me.

But now… now I was afraid of something.

Of death.

Of loss.

Of what I’d done.

I stuck my head under the spray and rubbed at it vigorously. The hot water felt good, loosening up my tense muscles.

I wanted Ivy. I wanted to see her face and feel the softness of her hair. It made me feel weak to need another person so much, but I couldn’t help it. I did need her. It seemed like I needed her now more than ever.

Not that I would say it out loud.

She already knows…

The thought drew me up short. Last night replayed through my mind like a movie. A fucking hot, erotic movie.

Of me waking up, feeling desperate and lost. She was on top of me, offering warmth and comfort. If anyone could bring me back from the edge, it was her.

She offered herself up to me, and I’d taken it all.

Fuck.

I hadn’t been gentle. If anything, I’d been an asshole.

Was that why she wasn’t in bed this morning?

Had I hurt her without realizing it?

I shut off the water abruptly and grabbed a towel. The way I behaved last night was un-fucking-acceptable. I knew better than that shit. Ivy deserved better.

I had to make it right.

Ivy

I couldn’t sleep.

Even though it was a couple hours before I needed to be awake and the pull of Braeden’s warm, solid body beside mine was intoxicating, sleep was illusive.

I lay there for a while, content just to be next to him—that is until I realized there might be a reason I couldn’t sleep. Once I allowed that thought space in my head, I knew there would be no use.

The sound of Romeo working out in the gym down the hall was like a beacon. I didn’t even realize what I was doing until I was hovering in the partially open doorway while he punished a set of barbells with his muscle.

Want a bit of stark honesty?

Romeo intimidated me.

There. I said it.

Yes. Yes, Romeo and I had grown closer, and yes, there was this unspoken understanding between us. He even called me his sister, he and B were practically brothers, and I thought of him as my family.

But still.

Romeo and I were a lot alike in some ways. More so than anyone else in this house. Aside from the fact we were both blond bombshells (ha-ha, I had to get that in there), we both knew what it was like to be caught up in a social circle—a status quo, if you will.

At one point, both Romeo and I had been willing victims (dare I say participants) in what was the social hierarchy of Alpha U. Romeo was laidback, charming, and everyone’s golden boy. He acted like it came natural, and I knew a lot of it did. But not all of it. There was no way. A guy like him (with a solid family background and values) didn’t literally rise to fame on campus overnight and become the king of everything without feeling the pressure.

He had to live up to it all. He had to be the player everyone cheered for. The charmer every girl swooned for. And the bad guy still good enough that he could still play on the team.

Romeo might not know it, but I understood the balancing act he likely juggled for the last several years.

Sure, it wasn’t so prevalent in his life now, not since Rimmel tripped (literally) into his life and changed everything. He didn’t care about status as much—but it was still there—I knew he still felt the pressure. Maybe more now that his life was so changed.

Hence, one of the reasons he was punishing the weights right this moment.

And me? Just like him, I came to Alpha U free for the first time in my entire life. Free of my overprotective brothers. Free of the watchful eyes of my parents, grandparents, and large extended family. I hadn’t realized it then, but my freedom didn’t last long because I became a slave to the status race.

I became the girl everyone thought I was. The one people seemed to want me to be.

It got me hurt, violated, and betrayed.

Just like Romeo.

I watched him for a second longer. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and his smooth skin was shiny with sweat from the punishing workout he was inflicting on himself.

Damn. It made me feel bad for thinking about a donut for breakfast.

I worked out, but what he was doing made what I usually did look like a freaking kindergarten nap.

His muscles rippled as he lifted. His biceps bulged with every curl he completed. But beyond the curls, he was doing squats while standing on some half-circle bubble that made it hard to balance.

I knew he’d already been on the treadmill. I’d heard the steady of hum of it just a little while ago.

The waistband of his gym shorts was damp, the red color darker around the top than the rest of the fabric. I knew it was because he’d been dripping so much sweat, and as he moved, I couldn’t help but notice the muscles in his back.

Suddenly, I wondered why I was here. What had possessed me to step into the doorway while he was training?

I turned to hurry back to my room, but his voice stopped me.

“You gonna come in or just stand there and watch?”

I froze like I’d been caught doing something illegal. How had he known I was there? His back was to me.

I swung back around with a sheepish grin on my lips. “Sorry, I—”

He looked over his shoulder, pausing in the squats and lifts, and winked. Straightening, he swung toward the rack of weights and set the ones down he’d been holding. I was still in the doorway when he snagged up a water and poured half of it down his throat.

“What’s the matter, Ivy?” he asked, his tone knowing.

“I’m worried about Braeden,” I rushed out. I felt my eyes widen, surprised even by my own words, though I didn’t know why.

I was worried. So worried I couldn’t sleep.

“And I was just thinking… and I ended up here,” I added, a little bewildered.

Romeo’s eyes, which had narrowed when I first spoke, softened now and a small smile played on his lips. “You can talk to me anytime.”

I nodded and walked farther into the room. Now that I admitted out loud (and to myself) that I needed to talk, it seemed only natural it was Romeo I came to. It seemed completely normal the very strength that intimidated me was what drew me this morning.

He snagged a nearby towel and used it to mop up some of the sweat on his face and chest. Before I’d fallen for Braeden, it would have been natural to check out Romeo, especially when he was standing in front of me half dressed. I mean, honestly, I used to check him out all the time when he was fully clothed and walking around campus.

Now that just seemed wrong.

Sure, Romeo had an awesome body. But he was family, and he wasn’t Braeden.

“What’s going on with B?” he asked when I said nothing.

I hesitated, wondering how much to say, wondering if B would be upset when he found out I’d gone to Romeo about his dreams.

“Are you scared of me, Ivy?” Romeo’s question cut into my inner debate.

“What?” I gasped.

He gave me a knowing look. “You seem kinda scared to be in here right now.”

I felt my shoulders slump. I was acting ridiculous. Why did I feel so afraid to talk to him? Why was I so intimidated by him? Romeo had been nothing but good to me. Great, even. Clearly, deep down, I knew I could go to him because I was standing here… so why was I having such a hard time opening up?

“Braeden’s gonna be really mad if he finds out I’ve come to you.”

Romeo seemed to think about my words. Then he dropped down on a nearby weight bench. “I don’t think this is about B.”

I started to tell him this was exactly about B, but he held up his hand. “I don’t mean what you want to talk about. I mean the reason for it.
You
need to talk to someone about B and about whatever’s going on inside
you
. And I think you know I’m
the guy for that talk.”

I nodded. “It’s just… we’ve never really talked like this…” My words faded away.

He tilted his head to the side. “Maybe not. But I think you and I have had a lot of conversations without saying anything.”

I thought back to the times he would make sure I was okay to drive home from a party, about how he would measure me with his stare, and I would let him see I was really more sober than most realized. I thought about the night he came into my room and held me after a nightmare, how he barely said two words to me, but his presence was more than enough. I remembered how he sat beside me in the hospital after that car crash that killed Zach. We’d been the only two in the room, Romeo finally having persuaded B to take a shower. We hadn’t talked about what happened that night. But he’d held my hand, and I’d cried silent tears.

I’d felt better after that cry.

In a way, words from Romeo weren’t necessary. He knew how to be there for a girl without them.

He was right. This was about me. About me needing to say what was going on, because this time he wouldn’t be able to see it.

“He’s been having nightmares,” I whispered.

“Is that the sound I heard coming from down the hall this morning?” he asked, concerned.

My eyes snapped up to his. What had he heard? Oh God, had he heard us having sex? Braeden was rough, and we probably hadn’t been quiet. “He did yell out in his sleep.” I hedged.

Romeo nodded. “Yeah, must be what I heard, but then it got quiet so I figured it was nothing.”

So he hadn’t heard. Thank God.

“He’s been having them a lot actually. This morning’s… it was the worst one yet. I almost yelled for you.”

I felt his attention sharpen. Concern darkened his eyes. “But you didn’t.”

I shook my head. “No. I was able to bring him out of it.”

“What’s he dreaming about?”

“That night,” I said, a small shudder making my shoulders quake. Romeo scooted just an inch or two closer. I glanced up. “He never wants to talk about it the next day. But it’s haunting him.”

“Zach?” he asked.

“Honestly? I know Zach dying weighs on him, but I’m pretty sure the nightmares are about me… In them I die that night.”

Romeo muttered a soft curse and ran a hand over the back of his head.

“This morning, he—” My voice broke as I remembered. “He asked me not to leave him.”

Romeo made a low sound, and I looked away, caught up in the pain I felt radiating from our bed this morning. The fear.

“What else, Ivy?” Romeo pushed. He reached for my hand.

My voice broke. “He cried,” I burst out. “I’ve never seen him cry.”

“
Fuck
,” Romeo whispered and released my hand so he could pull me into his side. I buried my face in his chest and took a shuddering breath. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get over how broken I felt when I wiped the wetness off Braeden’s face this morning.

He hugged me tight while I fought back my own tears. Now wasn’t the time to cry. I had to be stronger than that. For so, so long, Braeden was the strong one. Braeden literally held me up when I was down.

It was my turn to do it for him.

I pulled back to look up at Romeo’s face. “Zach might be dead, the worst of what we went through over, but it isn’t finished. He’s struggling inside, Romeo. He won’t talk about it. Maybe he doesn’t even understand it himself. But the dreams are getting worse. He’s getting harder to calm down.”

“Calm down?”

I nodded. “He starts thrashing around in bed. Like he’s fighting something. Or someone.”

“Did he hurt you?” Romeo demanded.

I sat up straight at the steel in his tone. I tucked my hands beneath my thighs, sitting on them. “Of course not.”

His hand shot out and grabbed my arm, pulling it from beneath my legs. Even though he moved fast, he was gentle, like he understood his own strength and the lack of mine.

“Where’d you get these bruises?”

I felt my face pale. I looked down at the purple marks on my wrist. I knew I had matching marks on my other one, but I kept it tucked into my side, hidden.

They were from this morning, when Braeden grabbed me.

“He didn’t know what he was doing,” I explained. “He was dreaming, and I… I was trying to wake him up.”

“You should have yelled for me,” he said, frustrated, and released my arm. He pushed off the bench and started pacing the small gym.

“That would have just made it worse,” I said, no give in my voice.

Romeo looked at me over his shoulder.

“He’s already beating himself up enough, but to have you break into our room to stop him from hurting me in bed?” I shook my head. “He’d never forgive himself, and you know it.”

“Fuck!” Romeo spat.

“Besides, I was the one who climbed on him, to calm him down.”

I felt Romeo’s eyes burn my skin. “You have bruises anywhere else?”

“No!” I hurried to say. “The second he woke up, he calmed down.”

Okay, that was kind of a lie. But Braeden hadn’t hurt me, and I wasn’t about to tell Romeo about our sexual encounter.

My reply didn’t seem good enough for him. He pinned me with a solid, unblinking stare. “Are you scared of him, Ivy? This bringing up stuff for you?”

I wasn’t offended he would ask. It was kind of an expected question after what I just told him. In fact, I was a little touched he’d ask. Almost like he’d stand between B and me if he needed to, until this was worked out.