Heart of Gold (31 page)

“I will be his helpmeet. Together we will learn to be good parents to Todd. And to the children I will bear him.”

Saying those last words aloud caused her cheeks to grow warm with embarrassment, even though no one was around to hear. Unlike many unmarried young women of her acquaintance, Shannon knew somewhat more about anatomy and the union of a man and a woman that led to childbearing, thanks to her work in the army hospital and some medical books she’d read as she sought to become a better nurse.

The sound of hoofbeats approaching from behind her caused her to move closer to the shoulder of the street.

“Miss Adair.”

She stopped at the sound of her name and turned.

Joe Burkette slowed his mount as he drew closer. “You haven’t been to the livery for the past week. I was concerned. Have you been unwell?”

What was it about this man that bothered her so? She wanted to like him. Truly she did. But she couldn’t. “No, Mr. Burkette. I have not been unwell. Only busy.”

“I’m relieved to hear it.” He dismounted, and as he stepped closer he sniffed the air. “Mmm. Fried chicken if I’m not mistaken.”

“Yes.”

“Did you cook it yourself, Miss Adair?” He raised an eyebrow. “You do surprise me.”

She inclined her head as a reply.

“I’ve been hoping for another opportunity to ask you to go riding with me.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Burkette. I couldn’t do that.”

“Why not?” He gave her a slow smile. “You must know I would like to know you better, Shannon. I think you beautiful and I—”

“I’m engaged to be married, sir.”

There was a long silence before he said, a hard edge in his voice, “Not to that Dubois fellow.”

“Yes.” She tilted her chin. “As a matter of fact, it is Mr. Dubois I’m going to marry. We plan to wed on Sunday.”

Joe’s eyes narrowed. “I wouldn’t have expected a true daughter of the Old Dominion to marry a Yankee.”

She pressed her lips together to stifle a retort. What business was it of his whom she married? None at all, and he presumed too much to think he had a right to say anything.

“Some would call you a traitor for it.”

Shannon’s resolve not to answer him evaporated. “Mr. Burkette, I have learned a great deal since leaving Virginia. One of the lessons I’ve learned is that my father is right: we must do all that we can—short of disobeying God—to live at peace with others. I will no longer judge someone based upon where they were born or where they were raised or whether or not they have taken up arms for or against the Confederacy. We are all sinners who have earned God’s wrath instead of His grace.”

With a toss of her head, she started walking again. “Good day, sir.”

The gall of the man. How could she have ever thought she should like him? That she should prefer him over Matthew? There was nothing remotely appealing about him, and simply because his birthplace was in the South and his family had known hers two generations ago did not make him a gentleman. He was less gentlemanly than Matthew by far, no matter how highly he valued himself.

She would have to move Ginny from the livery. At once. Surely there was room for the mare in the stable behind Matthew’s house.

She would speak to him about it. Today wasn’t the best time, of course, but she couldn’t abide the thought of running into Joe Burkette again. Insufferable man!

Perhaps she didn’t have the passion for the Confederate cause she’d once had. Perhaps she no longer believed a victory on her side was what mattered most. Perhaps more of her father’s beliefs and opinions— about peace, about slavery, about a united nation—had taken root in her heart and mind as never before. And perhaps that was because of Alice and Matthew and Todd.

A fine sheen of perspiration had formed on her forehead by the time she reached the Dubois home. She knocked and waited for the door to be answered. It was Todd who did so, Nugget right behind him, and seeing him, she forgot her encounter on the road for the moment. The boy’s eyes, so much like his mother’s, revealed such sorrow Shannon feared she might burst out crying. The pup, on the other hand, jumped up in welcome.

Swallowing her tears, Shannon said, “Hello, Todd.” She held up the basket. “I brought fried chicken. You told me it was your favorite. Remember?”

He nodded.

“May I come in?”

He nodded again before turning and walking away.

As she entered, Matthew appeared in the parlor doorway. Although his expression didn’t change much, she thought he looked glad to see her.

“I brought fried chicken,” she repeated.

“Thanks.”

“I hope Sun Ling hasn’t already begun preparing your supper.”

“She isn’t here.”

“Oh?” Shannon looked toward the kitchen.

“I . . . I gave her the day off.” After a few moments of silence, he added, “I’m glad you came.”

Love surged in her chest. She longed to go to Matthew, to hold him, to comfort him, but she couldn’t. A woman must wait for the man to speak first, to move first. It’s what she had been taught by her mother from the time she was a little girl.

She held up the basket. “I should put this in the kitchen.”

“Here. Let me take it.” He stepped toward her and reached out with one hand.

Shannon gave the basket to him, then followed him into the kitchen.

“Would you like to eat with us?” he asked, his back toward her.

“Father expects me home before supper.”

“Of course.” He faced her again. “I reckon he wants as much time with you as possible before the wedding.”

Nerves fluttered in her stomach. “I suppose that is true, though it isn’t as if he won’t see me as often as he wishes. This house is not so very far from the church.”

“Guess you’re right.” He cleared his throat. “One of the last things Alice said to me was that we weren’t to change our wedding plans. She was plum set on it, even as she was dying.”

Tears welled in Shannon’s eyes. “I loved her too,” she whispered.

“I know you did.”

She thought of Joe Burkette saying she was a traitor because she was going to marry this man. Hadn’t she believed much the same thing about friendship with Alice Jackson? How silly, to hang a name on someone and hate them for it—Yankee, Rebel, white, black, yellow, red.

She had much to repent of, it seemed.

28

Matthew awakened as the first fingers of dawn began to reach across the ceiling of his bedroom. As full consciousness arrived, he realized he was so close to the edge of the mattress he was in danger of falling off. A moment later he knew the reason. His nephew was in bed with him, and the boy’s bony knees were planted firmly in the small of Matthew’s back.

The nightmare. Sometime in the middle of the night, Todd had had a bad dream and awakened with a scream. No matter what Matthew had said, no matter what he’d tried, the boy hadn’t been comforted. At last he’d let him crawl into bed with him.

Matthew wasn’t cut out to be a guardian to the kid. They would both be better off when he was back on a stage, leather laced between his fingers. He couldn’t do Todd any harm there. No telling what he might do wrong here.

Shannon’s image drifted into his thoughts. God knew he’d come to care for her more than he thought he would. That first morning in Grand Coeur, he’d thought her spoiled and silly. That first Sunday in town, he’d thought her conceited and given to putting on airs. He’d misjudged her. More than once. He was sorry for that.

He wondered what she felt for him. Was it love? Perhaps. Perhaps not. But she did love Todd. That’s all that mattered for now.

Carefully, hoping to let his nephew sleep as long as possible, he got out of bed, washed, and dressed. He went downstairs, built up the fire in the stove, and put the coffeepot on to boil. Then he went outside to feed the horses. Shannon’s mare was the first to nicker as he walked toward the corral.

“Hey, girl.” He patted the bay’s sleek neck before giving her a small shove back from the gate so he could enter the corral.

When Shannon had asked yesterday if she could move Ginny out of the livery and to this corral behind his house, Matthew hadn’t thought to ask for a reason. But now he wondered about it. Wondered if it had anything to do with Burkette.

He didn’t like the man. Something about him rubbed Matthew the wrong way. Couldn’t be just because Burkette was a Southerner and, according to Jack, a known Confederate sympathizer. If that’s all it took, Matthew would be at odds with the better share of inhabitants of this gold rush town—his fiancée included. Shannon had never tried to hide where her allegiance lay.

Though she has mellowed a bit
.

He figured his sister got some of the credit for the change. Alice had won Shannon’s affections with her strength of character and her sweet smile and her joy of life even as she faced death. The sting of loss pierced his chest afresh. No wonder Todd was having bad dreams. Matthew hadn’t had all that much time with his sister, and even his heart felt broken by her death.

After tossing hay to the horses, he pumped fresh water into the trough. Then he returned to the house, met by the scent of brewed coffee and the sight of Sun Ling tying an apron around her waist.

“Good morning, Mr. Dubois.” She bowed.

“Morning, Sun Ling.”

“You sleep good?”

“Not very,” he answered honestly.

“I make you good breakfast.”

He set a large cup on the counter near the stove and filled it with coffee. “Thanks. I’d appreciate it.”

Delaney Adair waited in the front of the dress shop, wishing his daughter would hurry. He’d never been comfortable in this sort of setting, surrounded by ribbons and baubles and lace. But when she stepped through the curtain separating the front from the back of the small shop, his heart nearly stopped. Never had she looked more beautiful. Never had she looked more like his dearly departed wife. So much so that he almost spoke Adelyn’s name aloud.

“What do you think, Father?” Shannon turned slowly.

He rose from the chair. “You look exquisite, my dear.”

“It isn’t too . . . joyful, is it? Alice will have been gone only a week.” She looked toward the full-length mirror. “I should have chosen a darker color, but I thought . . .” She allowed the words to fade into silence.

Delaney moved to stand behind his daughter and put his hands on her shoulders. “It’s to be a small ceremony with only a few present. No one will think ill of you for wearing the bridal gown you commissioned before Mrs. Jackson died.” In her reflection in the mirror, he saw tears pooling in her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“I love Matthew, Father, and I’m so very happy he asked me to marry him. I’m sure it must be a horrible sin to be so happy when he and Todd are so sorrowful.”

“Oh, my dear girl.” He turned her to face him, then gathered her into a close embrace. “It is no sin to be happy over a marriage to a good man.”

“He is good,” she said softly against Delaney’s chest. “He’s very good. I didn’t think so at first, but I was wrong.”

“Yes, he is good. He’s a man of strong faith and convictions or I would never have given my permission for him to ask for your hand.”

Shannon sniffed as she drew back. A tremulous smile played across her lips. “I had better remove the dress before it gets spotted with my tears.” She turned toward the curtain to the back of the shop. “I won’t be long.”

Delaney drew in a breath and let it out as he sank once more onto the chair.

So what do you think, Adelyn? I wish you were here. A girl needs her mother on her wedding day. I am a poor substitute, I fear. She does love him. I don’t doubt that for a moment. But I wonder if she fully understands all the challenges that marriage brings
.

He shook his head slowly.

No. Of course she doesn’t fully understand. None of us do beforehand. You and I surely didn’t. But God made us one, and our love grew and thrived. May their marriage be as blessed as ours, Adelyn. May it be as blessed as ours
.