Heart of Grace (Return to Grace Trilogy #1) (8 page)

Cole tightened his hold on her. “I’m sorry Angie. I should
have realized. I’m so sorry.”
“My mom found me. She told him where I was and he
came for me.”
“Ah, Ang.”
Angela stepped back and leaned against the porch rail.
“You know, there’s something I never told you,” Cole said
softly. “I had a major crush on you when we were kids.”
As he had hoped, his confession made her smile. It was a
skeptical and cynical smile, but at least he’d gotten her to focus
on something else.
“You’re such a liar,” she said. “You hated me. And don’t
try to tell me you didn’t.”
“Aw, the line between love and hate. Such a thin and
wavering line it is.” He smiled. “Okay, you’re right. I did hate
you and I sure didn’t
want
to like you. But maybe the reason
I’m so good at bronc riding today is because I always made
sure to do my best whenever you’d watch me practice.”
“Then why…” Angie shook her head, cutting herself off.
“What? Go on,” he prompted.
“Nothing. I learned a long time ago to never ask questions
you don’t want the answer to. “And you’re welcome…for the
bronc riding thing.”
Cole smiled. “You had a book when you answered the
door. What were you reading?”
“A romance novel.”
“Now who’s the liar?”
She raked her fingers through her hair. “My mother’s
diary,” she said, letting her hand fall back to her side.
“Good reading?”
“It’s sad. She was devoted to him, even after all he had
done to us.” She tilted her chin to look up at Cole, her height
drastically lower without those heels on her feet to lift her up.
“You mean all he had done to you.” Cole said. “He didn’t
beat Michael, did he?”
“No.” She shivered. “Nor my mother. But they both
turned their back to what was going on. It was easier to ignore
it.”
“Angie, when you were in the hospital there was
speculation. Did he…ever,” he fumbled over the words.
Her eyes dropped. “I don’t know. I don’t think so.” She
looked back up at him, her eyes wide in wonder.
“You don’t know?”
She lowered onto the porch steps. “I don’t remember the
beatings, at least nothing more than bits and pieces. Sometimes
the before and after.”
Cole followed and sat beside her. “You’ve blocked it all
out.”
She turned toward him. “Most of it. And that’s how it
needs to stay. There’s no point in remembering.”
“You might not have a choice, sweetheart. You need
someone
who can help
you.
A
professional. God. Me.
Somebody.”
She laid her forehead on her knees and let out a breath. “I
didn’t come back here to be wrangled into seeing a shrink or
finding religion.”
“All right. Then that leaves me.”
“And why is this suddenly your business?”
“I didn’t help you when we were kids.”
“So now you see yourself as my savior?” She stood, the
wary evident in her hesitant movements. “You didn’t help me
then, so you’ll help me now? Because I’ve fallen into your lap?”
He looked up at her through the yellow glow of the porch
light. “Something like that.”
“You’re fifteen years too late.” New tears welled up as she
turned and strode back into the house. He let her go and
walked back to the main house, his heart heavy and filled with
renewed disgust toward Henry. Cole knew it was only a matter
of time before those stubborn memories of hers bobbed to the
surface.
****
The door closed behind Angela with a soft click. She
leaned against it and listened to his fading footsteps. She didn’t
recognize this person she had become; weak and sobbing in
the arms of a man she remembered only as a cruel child and
then as her first heartbreak. Suddenly and fiercely she wished
to be sitting in a conference room in a leather chair, fingers
resting on polished mahogany. She wanted to hear Jeffrey’s
voice booming through the room as he made predictions for
the next quarter, or reviewed the previous one. She wanted to
be home again, heedlessly caught in the drone of business and
working onmaking the company’s next million.
Working until late in the evening and then going home
alone to an empty apartment.
She walked to the bedroom and scooped her discarded
clothes from the floor. She hadn’t worn jeans in years. This
wasn’t her life, nor suited to the person she had become. Yet
here she was in rural Montana, listening to crickets chirping
outside her window, her eyes red from memories she had
promised herself would never hurt her again.
Cole’s assumptions were absurd. He saw her as a woman
who wore expensive suits and makeup to cover the innocence
he claimed was still there. He was wrong. There was nothing
left of the freckle-faced kid she had been a lifetime ago
She still felt the gait of the horse beneath her. If she closed
her eyes she’d recall the wind against her cheeks. She could
remember riding Doug Jordan’s horses and feeding them apple
slices – happier times shining through the darkness of her
memories.
She tossed the jeans into the hamper and sat on the bed.
The other memories – the ones that had stolen her innocence
– still burned in the shadows, hidden in the empty places of
her thoughts. They were put in their place more than fifteen
years earlier and that’s exactly where they needed to remain.
Eight

On Monday morning Angela dove elbow deep into work
at the arena’s town office before the sun had fully risen. She
was not an accountant, but she had dealt with money and
investments enough to know her way around ledger books and
computer accounting programs. At least it was better than
mucking stalls. Still, as she worked her way through the messy
books, she wondered if manual labor would have been easier.
And cleaner.

At half past nine she rose to refill her coffee mug, her butt
and thighs screaming in agony with every step. Her muscles
were a long way from remembering what it was to ride a horse.

Tina sat at the only other desk in the room, her hands fisted
in her blue and pink-tinted hair as she contemplated an open
book.

“Know anything about math?” Tina asked Angela without
looking up.
“A little.” She looked over at the textbook Tina was
reading. “Summer school?”
Tina snorted and closed the book, leaning back in her
chair. “My mom thinks it’ll give me a head start for senior year.
I think she’s afraid I’ll blow off half my classes the way my
older sister did, end up graduating by the skin of my teeth and
then run off to Nashville.”
“She just wants you to succeed,” Angela said. “What are
you working on?”
“Trigonometry.”
“Yuck.”
Tina rolled her eyes and pulled the book against her chest.
“You and I think alike.”
Sunlight streaked through the wooden blinds, striping
Tina’s hair with bands of light. A cynical smiled splayed across
the girl’s face, her eyes unexpectedly keen and mature.
“Why don’t you relax,” Angela suggested. “Try again later.
Maybe after lunch.”
Tina shrugged.
There was so much of herself in Tina, so many parts of the
girl she had been.
Angela wanted to hug her as if she could
hold herself at that age and warn herself about what was to
come. Feeling silly, Angela shifted her focus to a stack of files
on Tina’s desk. “What are these?”
“Last quarter’s records. Cole said you wanted to see them.”
“Great. More.” She lifted the stack. “Are the receipts in
here?”
“They should be. The files are arranged by date, then
alphabetically. We have it all on the computer too; these are
just the hard copies.” Tina leaned over the desk and looked up
at Angela with a purposeful smile. “Can I leave early today?
Billy – that’s my boyfriend – he wants me to go with him to
the rec hall dance tonight, and I need to go to Julie’s to get
ready.”
“I don’t see why not, but you should check with Cole.”
“But he’ll tell my mom.”
“Your mom doesn’t know you’re going to the dance?”
“Not yet.”
“I won’t help you lie to your mother.”
Tina laughed. “Oh c’mon. Don’t you remember what it
was to be my age? I thought you were cooler than that,
Angela.”
“It not my place,” Angela winced. “I’ll tell you what…how
about I ask Cole if you can leave early. You can tell him, and
your mom, why.”
“Fine.”
Tina went back to her math book and Angela sat down at
her desk with the stack of files.
“Hey, can I ask you a question?” Tina asked after a few
moments.
“As long as it’s not about trig or dances,” Angela said,
flipping through the receipts.
“How do you know when you’re ready to, you know…do
it?”
Angela looked up from the receipt she was holding and
turned her attention fully on Tina. The girl averted Angela’s
gaze and blushed.
“Is Billy suggesting that you and he…do it?”
“Yeah, kinda.” She shifted in her chair.
Angela
suppressed a
sigh. She
was
the person least
qualified to preach about the virtues of abstinence and the
word “hypocrite” flashed like a neon sign in her thoughts. A
horrible, uncomfortable ball settled in her stomach.
“You’re only seventeen,” she said, turning back to her
paperwork.
“So?”
“So, you should wait.”
“Fine. Shoulda known you’d say that.” Tina went back to
her math book.
Angela glanced at the clock, then the door.
Cole, where are
you?
****
The cup of coffee had gone cold at Angela’s elbow before
she had thought to take more than a few sips. The jingle at the
door had her glancing up distractedly from her work.
Cole stepped across the threshold and offered her a curt
nod. She closed the file she had been sifting through and took
her cold coffee cup in her hands, watching uneasily as he
scanned the room.
“Tina here?” His words were measured, his steps hesitant.
“She’s in the file room.”
“Morning.” He called loudly enough for her to hear him
from the next room.
“Morning, Cole!” Tina’s muffled voice came excitedly
through the walls and Angela smiled. She had a hunch the girl
had a crush on Cole. Who could blame her? Angela thought as
she studied his long, lean build, sturdy hands and the kind of
eyes that could make a girl feel like the luckiest female on the
planet when he bothered to look her way.
“I’ve been at the arena all morning. Otherwise I’d’ve been
here.”
“I can handle things all right by myself,” she said. “By the
way, you should talk to Tina. She wants to leave early today.”
“Will do.”
Tina’s dramatic groan reverberated through the wall.
“Looks like you’ve got quite a mess here. Is all this last
quarter’s records?”
“Among others.” She brushed her hair back from her face.
“I’m baffled by your expenses. They’re outrageous.”
She stood and scooped up a file. Holding it open for him,
she pointed to an invoice. “I can’t believe you paid this much
to have the sign painted. Didn’t you shop around?”
“Jason’s a friend and he does good work.”
“Favors for friends have no place in business if you want
to make money. No wonder this arena’s in trouble.”
Cole raised his brow. “Jason has five kids, Angie, and his
wife’s been out of work.”
“I doubt my dad cared about that,” Angela said. “Didn’t
he have something to say about this?”
“It’s still the way of it around here. Even Henry knew
that.”
Angela pressed her lips together and then opened her
mouth to argue, but she couldn’t find the words.
“Look, it’s real nice of you to care about this, Angie. That
wasn’t part of the deal, and I appreciate it. But I’m not going
to turn away work from friends just to save a buck or two.”
She closed the file. “I’m not talking about a buck or two,
Cole. This
arena’s spending habits are out of control.
Frivolousness was my father’s forte. But we can’t keep doing
things that way.”
He shook his head and laid a hand over hers. “I appreciate
what you’re willing to do. Now, I don’t always do what’s right,
and Lord knows I struggle every day, but it makes me feel good
to be able to give something back. There are other ways to save
money.”
She frowned, considering his words, and then tucked the
receipt back into the file. “You’re hell bent on making this
complicated, aren’t you?”
“No more than you are,” Cole said, drawing her gaze. The
blue of his eyes darkened, the intent in them disturbingly
piercing.
“We aren’t talking about finances anymore, are we?”
His smile broke the intensity in his eyes. “No, darlin’, we’re
not.”
“Do you know trig?”
Angela jolted, knocking a stack of files off the desk when
Tina bounced into the room. Cole chuckled and bent to pick
them up.
“If you are referring to a particular math course, no.” Cole
set the stack back on the desk. “I got a C in that class and that’s
only ‘cause Amy Bedley sat in front of me. She was real smart
and she wrote real big. But she was set on teasing me, only
letting me see her answers about half the time.”
“I wish Amy Bedley sat in front of me. I have a test
tomorrow,” Tina whined, leaning against the wall.
“And you have work to do here.” Cole said sternly, though
he smiled to soften the reprimand. “I pay you by the hour,
darlin’ and you’re wasting company time.”
Tina
smiled and blushed because he had called her
“darlin’.” Cole’s stern tone was lost on her. She smiled sweetly
and said, “If I ace trig, I would be more of an asset to this
company.”
“I doubt that. Angie here barely passed basic algebra, and
she’s a big city business woman. I bet she even has a corner
office with windows.” He smiled and winked at Angela, then
turned back to Tina. “Why don’t you just study tonight?”
Tina winced. “I have a date with Billy.”
“I thought your mom told you to stop seeing Billy,” Cole
said. “Is that why you’re leaving early?”
Tina sputtered out the beginnings of a protest, but then she
tossed up her hands. “Okay, fine. I’ll call my mom and ask her
if I can go tonight. But only if you help me with trig. Fifteen
minutes is all I need. Deal?”
“All right,” he sighed. “I’ll quiz you or something. Go on
and call your mom. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Thanks.” She bounced in her shoes and left the room.
Angela looked up at Cole, lips puckered. “My, my. Have
we gone soft?”
“She’s a good kid.” Cole shrugged.
Angela smiled sadly. He would make a good father, as his
own had been.
Now that they were alone he was difficult to read again.
She wondered about his thoughts and how he felt about their
conversation the other night. Somehow that look about him,
and that guarded sheen of uneasiness, told her he hadn’t gotten
any more sleep than she had over the last two nights.
She thought he would say more and she hoped he would,
but Cole pushed away from the desk and walked out of the
room.
****
Angela had never been so glad to see the setting sun. She
was exhausted from overhauling The Bullpen Arena’s
financials. She had found a way to decrease expenses by four
percent, without jeopardizing Cole’s relationships with
vendors he called friends. It was a good start, but the pride of
a day’s work was short-lived. Four percent was a long way from
being enough.
She pushed away from the desk, her mind on a hot bath
and some herbal tea.
As she went about the office closing blinds and flicking off
lights, Angela glanced at the clock. It was already past eight.
She had been at the office for more than fourteen hours. The
door jangled open and Tina hurried inside, a teenage boy
skulking in behind her.
“I’m so glad you’re still here!” Tina exclaimed as she rushed
to the back office. “I forgot my trig book.”
Angela offered a quick “hello” to the boy, whom she
presumed was the boyfriend, Billy.
“What’s up?” the boy asked, jerking his chin toward
Angela. His eyes were shadowed by the brim of a baseball cap.
He was either extremely bored, or a little angry. Probably both.
“Is the dance over already?” Angela asked as Tina came
out of the back office.
“Nah, we got bored. Jenny Sentry is having a party down
by Hunter’s Hill, so we’re headed there.” Tina grabbed Billy’s
hand. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek, but Billy offered
no affection in return.
“Don’t worry,” Tina said when she saw Angela’s
concerned look, “my mom knows about it and I promised to
be home by eleven, so I won’t flunk my trig test.”
Surprised when Tina offered a quick hug, Angela squeezed
back. “Be careful,” she said as the two went off into the twilight
of a small town evening, “and good luck on the test
tomorrow!”
After they left Angela gathered her things and locked up
the office. She took out her car keys and realized she had no
tea at the house. She would have to make a trip to the corner
store. With her hand on the car door handle, Angela turned
toward the cool breeze and breathed in the scent of cherry
blossoms.
It was late and she was tired, but she let go of the handle,
dropped her keys back into her purse, and started on foot to
the store. She took the long route down Maple street, past the
flowering cherry trees.
If Grace had a trendy district, this was it, with newer
buildings and storefronts made to look historic. The color and
architecture of each store flowed into the one next to it.
Grace’s only upscale restaurant was here, along with its sole
spa and workout center. Angela made a mental note to sign up
for a gym membership.
A handful of tourists and locals walked along the street.
Lights from the businesses shown through windows, cutting
across the shadows. Across the street, jazz music from a
restaurant spilled into the quiet night. Angela looked up at the
white flowers on the trees lining the sidewalk. A breeze shook
some loose and a spray of fragrant blooms rained down. Some
landed in her hair, and she riffled her fingers through the
strands to shake the petals free.
She came to the town center, where Main and Maple
streets converged and the Church of Grace loomed over the
square. Much of the red brick was covered in ivy, the cross at
the top of rising toward a blue-black sky.
The heavy doors opened and Cole walked out. He didn’t
notice her right away. She almost retreated into the shadows,
but before she could give it enough thought he looked directly
at her.
Too late.
He set his hat atop his head and smiled.
“Howdy,” he said. “Out for a walk?”
“It’s a nice night. What were you doing in there?”
“Talking with an old friend.” He adjusted the hat.
“Do you still go to serviceshere?”
“Every Sunday I’m in town.” Cole jutted his chin in the
direction of the long line of cherry trees. “Walk with me,
darlin’?”
“You keep calling me that.”
“Calling you what? Darling?”
“No, not like that.
Darlin’
,” she said, imitating his drawl.
“Like that. And you do it with that smile.”
“What smile?”
“You know what smile.”
“Wondering what I’m after by using my charm on you,
aren’t ya darlin’?” He laid the drawl on extra thick and grinned.
As a girl, she would have giggled beneath the scrutiny of
his attention. As a woman, she simply smiled and ignored the
butterflies in her stomach. “Maybe,” she said, taking up step
beside him, “but it won’t work. So your efforts are for naught.”
“And yet, I got what I wanted. Here you are, walking with
me, aren’t you?”
Angela couldn’t help herself. She tried to stifle the laugh,
but in doing so it came out more like a giggle.
Cole grinned.
“Shut up,” Angela said, pushing his shoulder.
They walked in silence. Cole looked ahead, his gaze
focused.
“You know,” he began conversationally after a several
minutes, “Maisy Markey’s husband finally got baptized.”
“Really?” She laughed as she thought of Jim Markey. When
Angela was a child he had styled his white hair in a bouffant
with four-inch mutton chops. On more than a few occasions
he had broken into song in the middle of a public place, simply
because he felt like it. “Is he the same?”
“Worse.” Cole laughed. “The man insisted on being
baptized in his shorts.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep. The pastor asked for all new believers to come to
the alter. Jim walked up there and stripped down to his skivvies
right there at the pulpit. He didn’t want to get his suit wet.
Maisy was bright as a tomato.”