Heart of Rockies 03 - More Than a Feeling (5 page)

“So, yeah. I didn’t have much of a reason to stick around North Carolina.”

No one? She had no one? Sympathy weighted his gut. How could she be alone in the world? “Sorry,” he muttered. He couldn’t quite imagine what that’d be like. He’d been raised to live for family. Dad and Mom were the poster children for traditional, loving, supportive parents, despite the fact that they now spent most of their summers traveling. After raising three kids, he supposed they deserved it. His two sisters both lived in Denver now, but he chatted with them a few times a week and they both brought their families to visit as often as they could. Besides all that, he’d grown up with his grandpa and grandma and Aunt Elsie and Bryce, not to mention about twenty other cousins who’d drifted in and out of the area over the past thirty years.

Thinking back now, he couldn’t even remember a time where their house wasn’t full of loud, obnoxious people sharing a meal or playing Bullshit or celebrating someone’s birthday…

Ruby stopped ahead of him. She turned, but her eyes focused on the ground. “When I left North Carolina, I was headed to California.” One of her graceful shoulders lifted into a halfhearted shrug. “Thought I’d start over on the opposite side of the country, you know?” Her head lifted and she gazed into his eyes.

The look there nearly stole his breath, so much sadness she almost looked lost, but as quickly as it’d come the expression steeled into determination.

“When my car broke down on Independence Pass, I kind of loved it here.” She looked past him, out at the mountains, and her face took on a gentle softness. “I’ve never been somewhere so beautiful. So I wanted to stay.”

“I can see why,” he said, but one thing bothered him. She’d walked away from her life and no one had followed her. No one cared what happened to her.

Sawyer didn’t move, didn’t divert his gaze away like he should have. A plane could’ve crashed right behind him and he wouldn’t have been able to look away from her. She was so complex, with that fragile strength covering a deep vulnerability.

She didn’t look away, either, so he gambled with a few steps closer. “What happened to your family?”

Pain gripped her delicate features before she turned away and resumed a steady climb up the trail. She stepped over a tree branch. Red splotched her neck and ears, but he couldn’t tell if it was from the physical exertion or anger. “Why do you care?” she asked.

He wasn’t sure how to answer that question. He cared because he wanted to protect his cousin, sure. But…that pang of sympathy was deepening into an ache. What would it be like to have no one?

Thud, thud, thud.
Her footsteps moved faster, like she wanted to outrun his question. Except he wouldn’t let her.

“So where are they?” Even as the words came out, he hoped to god her family hadn’t died in some terrible car crash or something. Talk about feeling like an ass.

“Why are you curious now?” she called over her shoulder. “You’ve never cared before.”

She had a point, but he hadn’t bothered caring much about
anyone
during the past year. He’d had other things on his mind. He’d definitely noticed Ruby, though. He may have been pissed off at everything, but he wasn’t a robot. A man would have to be blind not to notice Ruby James. She had a memorable face…not to mention that sexy body.

But she sure didn’t talk much. He’d never met a quieter woman. Which meant if he had any hope of learning more about her, of assessing her motives at the ranch, he had to open up, too. It was a strategy he’d used a number of times with a suspect. Tell them something about yourself. Get them to trust you. Build rapport. So he chased behind her. “It’s not that I didn’t notice you,” he said. “I just didn’t have my head on straight. Divorce’ll do that to a guy.”

Her steps slowed. She didn’t stop, but she peered over her shoulder, the late-afternoon sunshine making her eyes glow. “Right. I heard about that. Sorry.”

That actually meant something coming from her. She’d lived a loneliness he couldn’t even begin to fathom. “Yeah, it pretty much sucked. I became a hermit for a while there.” But lately it’d felt different. Maybe because he knew he was leaving. It was easier to face everyone knowing he wouldn’t have to do it much longer. “It’s pretty lonely to live that way. Shutting everyone out. I know from experience.” The words left an opening, but she didn’t take it. That fair skin of hers deepened into crimson. Seeming to ignore the comment, she spun and pumped her arms, keeping a pace that he found hard to match, even though his legs were much longer.

Damn.
He’d gone too far. “Hey. Wait up.”

But she didn’t even turn around. He followed her up a steep series of switchbacks, sweat itching on his forehead.

At the top of the ridge, he jogged up to her, passing her and turning to walk backward. “What did I say?”

Something flashed in her eyes, but before he could read it, she looked down. He turned back around so he could see where he was going. The trail bent and wound through a grove of pine trees, the sweet scent of butterscotch thick in the air.

Then the trees opened into a clearing.

Ruby stopped suddenly. “Wow. Oh, wow.”

Sawyer paused next to her to take in the view. It never got old. The creek cascaded over a series of rounded, water-eroded rocks, pooling into a beautiful azure spring surrounded by boulders.

“I had no idea this place was here,” she breathed. “It’s incredible.”

She turned away from him and wandered toward the pool, stepping on the rocks and peering down at the water.

“What makes it so blue?” she asked as though mesmerized.

“It’s glacial runoff,” he said, working out his footing on the slippery rocks. “That and the pool is much deeper than it looks,” he warned. “You might want to be careful.” Although he wouldn’t mind seeing her go for a swim in that thin green tank top she had on…

Ruby ignored him and moved her foot to the next rock.

“Might be slippery, too, with all that rain last night—”

Sure enough, her boot slipped and she pitched forward, splashing right into the pool’s deep water.

R
uby opened her mouth to scream, but the cold muted it to a muffled squawk.
God!
It was like an ice bath! She gasped.
Oh, oh, oh.
Her feet flailed to find solid footing, but she couldn’t touch the bottom. “Help!” she breathed out, bubbles bobbing to the water’s surface, arms flailing, legs kicking. But it wasn’t enough. Her head sank under the surface, strangling her throat, freezing her muscles. Her lungs burned. Light glowed above her, fading, fading. She kicked her legs, arms waving clumsily with the water’s resistance. Her head broke the surface.
Air!
She sucked in, coughed and choked.

Her eyes opened. Sawyer was running at the water. He yelled something…

“Can’t swim,” she gasped, then choked on the water. Sinking. She was going down again.

A huge splash crashed, rolling waves against her body. His large hands gripped her shoulders and pulled her up and in, against his strong chest. He wrapped his arms around her, those solid muscles tightening into a shield, keeping her up until both of their heads broke the surface.

“Are you okay?” he asked in that gruff way fear had.

The burning sensation in her throat stung her eyes, but she nodded. Except tears built and ran over, mingling with the drops of water that slid down her cheeks.

Wrapping her in tighter, Sawyer hauled her out of the water like she was a child.

On the bank he let her go, but he stayed close, crouching to look into her eyes. Water glistened on his browned skin, and his thick dark hair stuck to his forehead. “You’re sure you’re fine? Nothing hurts?” Jagged breaths lowered his voice.

“Yes. I’m fine. Really,” she said through chattering teeth. But the tremble of fear still reverberated through her bones.

“Hell, I don’t know if I am.” He exhaled and stood straight, squeezing his eyes shut in a long blink. Then he opened his eyes wide. “You scared the shit out of me, Ruby.”

“I can’t swim.” And she never dreamed the pool would be that deep. It was so deceiving. She’d seen the rocks at the bottom before she fell in…

“Yeah. I got that,” he practically growled. But he didn’t look mad. He looked…scared.

Humiliation warmed her. “I never learned to swim.” When would she have? Between Mama’s four-day binges? “No one ever taught me.” She hadn’t grown up like him, likely going to swimming lessons while his mom snapped photos and cheered him on. Once Ruby’d waded into a creek that ran in a canal down the street from her house. When she’d made it up to her waist, the current swept her away. Grady had run along the bank, screaming at her. Finally their neighbor, the real Ruby James, had heard the commotion. She’d come running and pulled Ruby out of the creek, just as she was losing her breath. On the bank the woman had made sure Ruby was okay, then lectured her about the dangers of water the whole way back to her house. When Miss James had prodded her up the crumbling sidewalk and rang the doorbell, Mama answered. She was in her typical stupor, giggling and stumbling, those eyes red as a snake’s. Miss James had taken one look at Mama, then knelt, her face soft and her eyes droopy with sadness. “You promise you’ll be more careful, girl?”

She’d nodded, still shuddering from the fear. And from the humiliation of Mama’s spectacle.

“All right, then,” Miss James had said, without looking at Mama again. “You stay away from that water.”

And she had. She’d always stayed away from water because she knew she wouldn’t be so lucky next time. She knew she might not have anyone to rescue her. She’d never had anyone to rescue her…

Sawyer swiped a hand down his face. “You have to learn how to swim. You really have to learn,” he huffed as though still out of breath.

The throb of fear still pulsed through her, forcing her to reach for his arm. Despite the fact that they were both soaked, his skin felt hot. She glanced up. The sun lit his eyes with a soft warmth.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so close to the edge.” It’d been so beautiful it lured her in.

His eyes lowered to stare at the place where her hand clutched him. “No problem.” Slowly his gaze worked its way back up her body. “Not every day I get to save a pretty girl.”

Despite her better judgment, her lips fumbled with a smile. When was the last time someone had called her pretty? Besides Elsie. She didn’t count.

“And this happens to be your lucky day.” Sawyer hooked an arm through hers and slowly led her over rock after slippery rock until they’d made it to the grass.

“Why is that?” she asked, feeling the chill of her wet clothes dissipate. Sawyer made her warm. Very, very warm.

“Because I’m teaching the kids how to swim tomorrow night,” he informed her. “Not to brag or anything, but I was an all-American swimmer in high school. College, too.”

Why was she not surprised? From the little she’d seen of Sawyer, he was incredible at everything he did. Perfect, some might say. Perfect family. Perfect hero on the job. Perfect gentleman whenever a single woman tried to flirt with him. And she couldn’t touch perfect.

“Are you planning to come?” One brow raised.

Her lungs contracted as though she’d started to drown again. “I don’t know…” It didn’t seem smart to spend more time with him than absolutely necessary.

“Don’t you want to learn?” Sawyer’s head slanted as though he was trying to figure her out. “In case you’re hiking and accidentally slip down an embankment?”

“I’ll think about it,” she promised.

But he shook his head. “No need to think about it. I’ll plan on you being there, too. You can help with the lesson.”

She knew there was no point in arguing, even if she didn’t intend to show up.

“You’re okay, right?” Sawyer gazed down at her, still close enough that she could see the faint smile lines around his mouth. And what a perfect mouth…

“I’m fine.” She studied the dip in his upper lip, the curve of his small smile.

“Uh…good.” He broke away from her. “Okay. I guess we should get Bryce’s gear.” He started to walk away, but she tugged on his hand until he stopped to face her. Because he’d pulled her out. And now she owed him something.

She inhaled, trying to grasp the courage she always wanted but found so hard to hold on to. “I don’t talk about my past because there’s a lot I’d rather not remember.”

His lips folded, poking a shallow dimple into his right cheek. “Understood.”

For a second he looked like he wanted to say something else, but then he shifted behind her and prodded her toward the backpacks. “We should hurry. Get you back to the lodge so you can put on some dry clothes.”

Confusion muddled her thoughts. That was it? After all of that questioning earlier, he didn’t want to know more? She watched him gather up the bags.

“Ready?” he asked, keeping his distance.

And she couldn’t help but wonder why he suddenly seemed desperate to escape.

Sawyer could’ve belted out a cheer when the lodge finally came into view. Dry clothes…had to get Ruby into some dry clothes. Any other clothes as long as they weren’t thin, wet, and see-through. Because he was definitely seeing through and that made it difficult to think. His gaze slid sideways for another shameless glance. What could he say? She had plenty to show off.

Most of the time he prided himself on keeping his thoughts clean. Not like his buddies who’d gather at the bar and discuss the female anatomy in great detail. He’d always been a one-woman kind of guy. When he was with Kaylee, he hadn’t even wanted anyone else. He’d see a blond, surgically enhanced bombshell who his buddies were lusting after and she wouldn’t do much for him. Because she wasn’t Kaylee. They’d been together so long he’d known every curve and bend on her body. Instead of getting old it only made him want her more. It made him feel like they belonged to each other.

But now…seeing Ruby’s red hair, wet and curled against her shoulders, the perfect shape of her breasts underneath her shirt…well that made it a little too easy for him to imagine all the places he could lick her famous chocolate buttercream frosting off her body.

“Are you okay?” she asked him as they passed the ranch’s glistening swimming pool.

“Great,” he lied. Had she noticed the faster pace? Seriously, he couldn’t keep looking at her or he’d be in big trouble. The outline of her body—of her perfect, creamy skin underneath that shirt had started to make him ache. “Just don’t want you to get too cold.”

“I’m not cold.” She smiled back at him.

Neither was he. Not one cell in his body was cold. In fact, blood rushed hot and fast to every part of him. He could really use some cold right about now. Maybe a cold shower…

“Did I even thank you for pulling me out of the water?” Ruby asked as he hustled her up the steps and across the lodge’s wraparound deck.

Oh, sure.
Bring him back to that moment, when he had her in his arms, crushing her body against his. That was all he needed to keep his thoughts neutral. “No thanks necessary,” he muttered.

She stopped abruptly and hooked her hand around his forearm, forcing him to face her.

“Seriously, Sawyer. Thank you.” Her green eyes glowed with earnest sincerity.

“Sure.”
Eyes on her face. Keep your eyes on her face,
he reminded himself. Because underneath that wet shirt the woman had on a lacy bra that hid absolutely nothing. Not that she
should
hide anything, because damn…

Footsteps scuffed the ground behind him. He peered over his shoulder.

Bryce sauntered across the porch.

He let out a breath. Saved by his cousin.

“What the hell happened to you guys?” Bryce asked, his eyes following the trail of water they’d tracked across the porch. He shot Sawyer a hearty smirk. “You take her for a swim or something?”

Ruby’s face brightened into a neon glow. Her chin instantly dipped toward her chest. She crossed her arms—covering herself—and stared at the ground, suddenly shy and unsure again.

What made her do that? Retreat into timidity?

Bryce was looking back and forth between them, a wrinkle deepening across the center of his forehead, so Sawyer decided to lighten the moment. “Ruby was desperate for a swim in the spring.”

That snapped her head up. “I slipped,” she corrected. “And I couldn’t find my footing.”

Sawyer puffed out his chest in an exaggerated strut. “So I pretty much saved her life.”

Her glare could’ve incinerated him. And it’d be a lie to say he didn’t like it. Sure beat the passive Ruby. Something came alive on her face when she got all fired up…

“Anyway.” Bryce looked at Sawyer like he knew exactly what he was thinking. “Thanks for grabbing the gear.”

“Not a problem.” Sawyer handed over the three backpacks he’d insisted on carrying so Ruby wouldn’t have to.

His cousin slung them down on the ground. “I heard from Paige.”

Uh-oh.
From the look of his grim frown they hadn’t gotten good news.

“It’s a bad break. Thomas is headed into surgery.”

“Oh, no.” Ruby’s face paled. “What about the kids? What about the rest of the activities they’re supposed to do this week?”

Sawyer studied her. He hadn’t realized she cared that much.

“They’ve been looking forward to the ropes course all week,” she said.

“I know.” Bryce looked at Sawyer. “Paige can fill in with the horseback riding, but I’ll need you for everything else.”

“No problem. I’ll call Chief tonight. Ask him for a couple of days off.”

“Thanks, man.” Bryce clapped him on the shoulder. “Ropes course is scheduled for Tuesday and the zipline tour is Thursday.”

“Perfect,” he said, glancing at Ruby with a smile. She didn’t smile back. Was it just him, or did she suddenly look worried?

“I should go change,” she said abruptly. “Thanks again for the rescue and everything.” But she didn’t look at him, and she definitely wasn’t smiling at him anymore.

“What’s with her?” Bryce asked as she walked away from them.

“Don’t know.” But he planned to find out.