Heart Robber (Lifestyle by Design Book 2) (16 page)

"Well, Jess, you still have that time to make him fall for you. Use it wisely."

"I will. But I'm not exactly sure how, apart from showing him how much I care without saying the words. What else can I do apart from that?"

"Hey, I saw this book in the bookstore the other day. Something about how to create a potion to bewitch any man," Clarise teased.

She smiled shyly. "He calls me his little witch sometimes."

"That's a great sign. Maybe he feels bewitched by you already."

"Even if he does it hasn't changed his mind about having a termination date for our relationship."

"Maybe what you need to do is to make him feel what it would be like without you," Clarise said in a thoughtful voice.

"How do I do that?" Jessa asked nervously.

"Well, Kevin —" Faye didn't have the chance to finish what she was going to say. They were already crossing the road and the men had seen them.

*******

"So the guy you saw yesterday was the only one you'd consider going out with again?" Evan asked Faye.

"Yes. He was really interesting to talk to, as well as being hot. The guy from Tuesday was the worst. Honestly, he didn't even want to have dinner! He wanted me to go straight to his place. What a waste of my time," Faye rolled her eyes as she relayed her dating experiences in the last four days.

Rob placed an arm on the back of Jessa's chair and toyed with her hair. She smiled at him and he smiled back at her.

"Tomorrow night I have Kevin, one of the triplets," Faye continued. "By the way, girls, I haven't told you this but Kevin emailed me today. He said Keith and Julian wanted to know if the relationships you're in are serious." She had a twinkle in her eye as she talked to Jessa and Clarise.

"Who are Keith and Julian?" Will asked suspiciously.

"They're Kevin's friends, whom we met before the speed date started. Keith likes Clarise and Julian likes Jess."

"What did you say?" Will asked, almost growling.

"I haven't responded to him yet. Of course I'll let him know Clarise is definitely taken. I'll tell him tomorrow."

"Jessa's taken, too. Tell that dimpled idiot that," Rob said.

"Sure," Faye replied in a slightly hesitant fashion. "I'll tell him Julian will have to try his luck in a few months' time," she added with a wink to Jessa.

It took a few seconds before Faye's meaning sank in and when it did, Rob found it hard to breathe. Jessa already had a potential date lined up when their short relationship ended. He looked at Jessa, who was staring down at her food. She wouldn't be his in a few weeks.

"What does Julian look like?" Victor asked.

"Very cute," Faye responded. "The triplets all have dimples and copper hair; that's why they're called the triplets. But Julian has the deepest dimples."

"Dimples! Hmm. I know someone who thinks dimples are hot," Victor grinned.

"Who?" Evan asked.

"I'm not saying," Victor replied but his eyes were on Jessa.

"I gather you'd go on a speed date again when Rob goes back to Melbourne, wouldn't you, Jess?" Will asked.

All eyes went to Will then to Jessa. Rob held his breath as he waited for her to answer.

"Depends," Jessa answered as she squirmed on her seat.

"On what?" Rob asked with narrowed eyes.

"A few things," Jessa answered vaguely, not looking at him.

"Such as?" he persisted.

"Whether I feel like it or not at the time. Would you?" she asked him.

"Would I what?"

"Go on a speed date in Melbourne." Jessa glanced at him.

He shook his head. "Never interested me."

"Why not?" Faye asked. "It's fun if you don't take it too seriously."

"I just never had the need to go on one, I guess," Rob replied.

"I suppose it's easy for you to pick up women from anywhere, anyway."

"You girls shouldn't have any problems picking up men, either. Why did you go?" Rob's eyes were on Jessa as he asked the question.

Jessa blushed and her eyes went to Faye.

"Jessa went because we encouraged her to go," Faye answered for her. "She wouldn't believe us when we told her how easily men are attracted to her so we thought she should go to one and see for herself. I went because I thought it would be fun."

Rob frowned, still looking at Jessa. "What? You don't see how attractive you are?"

Jessa's blush deepened. She looked highly embarrassed.

"It's true, she doesn't," Clarise pounced. "There are all these men who would love to go out with her, and she doesn't even notice."

"Yeah," Victor added. "Like James Bradley, one of our clients. Everyone notices how he can't take his eyes off Jess when he visits the office."

"Well, it looks like you wouldn't miss me when I'm gone," Rob remarked dryly, his eyes not leaving her face.

"I would," she replied quietly. "But I have no choice but to move on."

Rob stared at Jessa for a long moment as she nervously played with her food. He saw it - her sadness, her pain … her hopes.

He thought everything was crystal clear. He thought everything would be simple. Not easy, but simple. In that moment, it hit him that everything had become so complicated.

The silence around the table didn't register with him. He also didn't notice how, as if in one accord, their well-meaning friends burst into chatter again about other things. They excluded him and Jessa, who were in a space of their own, where the tension was thick and could not be evaded.

He couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't breathe. He had to get his bearings back and put himself on less perilous ground.

Something had crept up on him when he was unaware. And whatever it was, it scared the living daylights out of him so he ignored it as best as he could. But now, he had no choice but to face it.

"Jess," he called softly so only she could hear.

Jessa turned to look at him, her face was calm but her eyes betrayed the depths of her rioting emotions.

"I think we need to talk. Do you think we could go for a walk and do that?"

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Jessa kept her arms folded across her chest as she walked beside Rob. He hadn't made an effort to hold her hand like he always did whenever they went out. A part of her was relieved. She needed that space to calm her nerves. But she was also lonely. On a cold, still night, he was right beside her but he had never felt so far away.

"Do you want to sit there?" Rob asked as he waved a hand towards a surprisingly empty bench facing the Sydney Opera House from across the water. She headed for it and sat down.

Rob sat next to her and was quiet for a long while as they both watched people walk past. She waited for him to speak. If he was waiting for her, well, she didn't know where to start or even what to say.

"I don't know what's going on, Jess. I mean, I do but I don't know what to do with it." Rob's voice was almost a whisper.

"What is going on, Rob?" She wanted to hear him say what was on his mind.

Rob turned to face her. "I know we've started to care for each other. I'm not really surprised by that. What I'm surprised by is how hard it will be when this ends."

There it was again.
When
it ends. Not
if
it ends.

She swallowed to push the tears away. "I didn't go into this short-term relationship with you with the hope that the ending would be different. But the longer we were together, the more I found myself wanting it to go on," she replied honestly.

"For how long?" he choked.

"I don't know. For however long we could be together where breaking up is a matter of if, not when."

"I admit I can't stand the thought of you dating other people when I go back to Melbourne. But a serious, long-term relationship is not something I've ever envisaged for myself," Rob replied, his voice low.

"Why not?"

"It scares me. For me, it means losing my freedom," he replied candidly.

She gasped as lancing pain attacked her heart. "So what does that mean for us?" she asked in a small voice.

"That's what I don't know, Jess. I've never felt like this before. I don't know what to think. But here's the reality: the reality is in less than two months, we'll be living in two different states again. I don't see myself being happy in a long-distance relationship. I'm not someone who could handle only seeing my girlfriend for one or two weekends a month. I don't think you'd be happy with that arrangement either." Rob sighed deeply before continuing. "Look at Faye and Steve. They broke up because there was no point being together when they'll be apart most of the time anyway."

Tears started to fall from her eyes. She couldn't hold them back anymore because he was right. "So this is it then."

Rob inhaled sharply, pain and fear etched in his face at her declaration. "We still have seven weeks," he said hoarsely.

She looked at Rob with tear-stained eyes and shook her head. "I can't, Rob. It'll be too hard."

"We managed before," he pleaded.

"That was different. I didn't have hopes and expectations then. But now that I do and we've brought them out in the open, I can't simply bottle them back. I'll just end up crying every time I see you or watch you leave."

"Give me the seven weeks, Jess, please," Rob begged. "Seven weeks to think, to sort out everything that's going on inside my head. Just give me time to figure it all out. I can't let you go yet. I just can't."

She searched Rob's face. She could see his anguish, his pleading and his uncertainties. It broke her heart to break up with him now. But how much more would it hurt if they continued to see each other for another seven weeks and he still decided his freedom was more important than being together? Or if they couldn't find a way to maintain a long-distance relationship? She knew without doubt she would fall deeper and deeper for him if given that time. If she was hurting like hell now, how much more pain would she be in if he was going to leave her anyway?

But could she walk away if there was a chance of a future with him? There was none of that in the beginning. Now there was a possibility if he was going to think about it. It was remote, but it was there nonetheless. Could she risk her whole heart for a little ray of hope?

"Okay," she said to Rob's obvious relief. "But if you need to think about things, don't you need some space and time to do that?"

Rob gazed at her with wary eyes. "I suppose so."

"So maybe we need to see each other less often than we used to," she suggested. The idea didn't appeal to her but if Rob needed space and time, she'd give them to him.

Rob smirked. "Isn't it ironic? We decided not to break up so we could have time apart to think."

She smiled. "Well, it means we're not free to see other people while we're thinking."

An insight flashed in her mind, replacing her smile with a frown. It was terribly unpalatable but she felt she had to bring it up. "Rob, maybe we
should
break up for a while." She felt her heart being squeezed tight as she said it.

"What?"

"You said you're scared of losing your freedom. Maybe you should have a week or two where you're free to think and do what you really want. You know, be a single guy. That would help you reach a conclusion about whether you want a committed relationship with me or not, wouldn't it?"

Rob stared at her as if she had lost her mind. "You want us to break up for a couple of weeks, and you expect me to act like I was single during that time?"

She bit her lip. This would be hard to say, but she realised she needed this, too. She needed to be just as sure as Rob on what he wanted for his life. "If you realised you wanted to be with other women during that time, then there's your answer and we wouldn't need seven weeks to figure out if we have a future or not."

"That's crazy. You want me to go out there and pick up other women?" he asked incredulously.

"No. I don't want you to date other women if you don't feel like doing it. What I mean is I want you to feel free to do what you want without being hampered by the fact you already have a girlfriend. How else are you going to figure out if you want a committed relationship for the long-term if you're stuck in one while you're trying to sort out what's in your head?"

Rob took in what she said. "Right. I get what you mean. It makes sense."

She blinked away her tears. Of course, it made sense. But that didn't mean it was easy to accept, even if it was her idea.

Rob reached out and caressed her cheek. "But, Jess, we don't have to be on a break just so I can think. Like you said earlier, let's just not see each other as often as we used to for a couple of weeks."

"No, I really think it has to be a break, Rob. If we are going to be together past our original four-month agreement, I need to be sure you want to be with me more than you want your freedom just as much as you need to know that for yourself."

"Okay," Rob gave in. "So, in a week or two, we'll get back together?"

"Let's make it two. But if either of us wants to be with someone else during that time, let's have the courtesy to break up permanently first. There would be no point having another conversation then, apart from saying goodbye."

She didn't think she'd so much as want to look at another man. But she wanted Rob to know this went both ways.

Rob scowled. "One week's enough. Friday next week we see each other again."

*******

Rob snatched his phone and grunted when he saw who the caller was. It was Andrea again. In the last few days she'd been calling him a lot. She arrived in Sydney last week for a short break and wanted to catch up with him. Most of the time he ignored her. The couple of times he picked up the phone, it was only to be polite and let her know he was busy. Fortunately, she hadn't called when he was with Jessa.

Ever since last Friday night, he jumped every time his phone rang, hoping Jessa was calling him. He shook his head, exasperated at himself. It was Tuesday. Just three more days until he saw her again. Surely he could wait until then?

For the umpteenth time, he questioned why on earth he even agreed to this one week break with her. All it was giving him was frustration. It was affecting his concentration at work and he was snappy at everything and everyone, from the cashier at the supermarket to Rose, his PA. At least he insisted on it being only a week and not two. When it became apparent to him that Jessa would also be single during their break, there was no way he was going to stretch the time.