Heartbreaker (16 page)

“Do you know why he dislikes him so much?” Tellie asked. “I mean, he agreed that I could go out with Grange, apparently. It seems odd that he wouldn’t have stopped me.”

“He couldn’t,” Nell said. “After all, you’re of age…” She stopped and put her hand over her mouth, looking guilty.

“I’m almost twenty-two,” Tellie said, avoiding Nell’s gaze. “I…remembered.”

“Well, that’s progress!”

It wasn’t, but Tellie wasn’t about to admit to Nell that she’d had a heavy petting session with J.B. in her own bed and learned about her age that way. She could still hardly believe what had happened. If Nell hadn’t walked up the staircase just at that moment…It didn’t bear thinking about. What had she done?

She knew J.B. was a womanizer. He didn’t love women; she knew that even though she couldn’t remember why. She’d given him liberties that he wasn’t entitled to. Why?

“You look tired,” Nell said. “Drink up that milk and eat those cookies. Leave the tray. I’ll get it in the morning. Can I bring you anything else?”

A good psychiatrist, Tellie thought, but didn’t dare say. She smiled. “No. Thanks a lot, Nell.”

“You’re very welcome. Sleep well.”

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She’d never sleep again, she imagined. “You, too.”

The door closed behind her. Tellie sat up and started to rebutton her jacket. Her breasts had faint marks on them from J.B.’s insistent mouth. She looked at them and got aroused all over again. What was happening? She knew, she just knew, that J.B. had never touched her like that before. Why had he done it?

She lay awake long into the night, worrying the question.

The next morning, Nell told her that J.B. had suddenly had to fly to a meeting in Las Vegas, a cattlemen’s seminar of some sort.

Tellie wasn’t really surprised. Perhaps J.B. was a little embarrassed, as she was, about what they’d done together.

“He didn’t take his girlfriend with him, either,” Nell said. “That’s so strange. He takes her everywhere else.”

Tellie felt her heart stop beating. “His girlfriend?” she prompted.

“Sorry. I keep forgetting that your memory’s limping. Bella,” she added. “She’s a beauty contestant.

J.B.’s been dating her for several weeks.”

Tellie stared at her hands. “Is he serious about her?”

“He’s never serious about women,” Nell replied. “But that doesn’t mean he won’t have them around.

Bella travels with him, mostly, and she spends the occasional weekend in the guest room.”

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“This room?” Tellie asked, horrified, looking around her.

“No, of course not,” Nell said, not noticing Tellie’s look of horror. “She stays in that frilly pink room that we usually put women guests in. Looks like a fashion-doll box inside,” she added with a chuckle. “You’d be as out of place there as I would.”

The implication made her uneasy. J.B. was intimate with the beauty contestant, if she was spending weekends with him. The pain rippled down her spine as she considered how easily she’d given in to him the night before. He was used to women falling all over him, wasn’t he? And Tellie wasn’t immune. She wasn’t even respected, or he’d never have touched her when she was a guest in his house. The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. He was involved with another woman, and making passes at Tellie.

What was wrong with him?

On the other hand, what was wrong with her? She only wished she knew.

She got out of bed and started helping Nell around the house, despite her protests.

“I can’t stay in bed my whole life, Nell,” Tellie argued. “I’ll never get better that way.”

“I suppose not,” the older woman admitted. “But you do have to take it easy.”

“I will.” She pushed the lightweight electric broom into the living room. The sofa caught her attention again, as it had when she’d come home from the hospital. She moved to its back and ran her hand over the smooth cloth fabric, frowning. Why did this sofa make her uneasy? What had happened in this room in the past that upset her?

She turned to Nell. “What did J.B. and I argue about?” she asked.

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Nell stopped dead and stared. She was obviously hesitating while she tried to find an answer that would be safe.

“Was it over a woman?” Tellie persisted.

Nell didn’t reply, but she flushed.

So that was it, Tellie thought. She must have been jealous of the mysterious Bella and said something to J.B. that hit him wrong. But, why would she have been jealous? She was almost certain that J.B. had never touched her intimately in their past.

“Honey, don’t try so hard to remember,” Nell cautioned. “Enjoy these few days and don’t try to think about the past.”

“Was it bad?” she wondered aloud.

Nell grimaced. “In a way, yes, it was,” she replied. “But I can’t tell you any more. I’ll get in trouble. It might damage you, to know too much too soon. Dr. Coltrain was very specific.”

Tellie gnawed her lower lip. “I’ve already graduated from high school, haven’t I?” she asked.

Nell nodded, reluctantly.

“Do I have a job?”

“You had a summer job, at the Ballenger Brothers feedlot. That’s where you met Grange.”

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She felt a twinge of memory trying to come back. There was something between J.B. and Grange, something about a woman. Not the beauty contestant, but some other woman. There was a painful secret…

She caught her head and held it, feeling it throb.

Nell moved forward and took her by the shoulders. “Stop trying to force the memories,” she cautioned.

“Take it one day at a time. Right now, let’s do some vacuuming. Then we’ll make a cake. You can invite Grange over to supper, if you like,” she added, inspired. “J.B. won’t be around to protest.”

Tellie smiled. “I’d enjoy that.”

“So would I. We’ll call him at the feedlot, when we’re through cleaning.”

“Okay.”

They did the necessary housekeeping and then made a huge chocolate pound cake. Grange was enthusiastic about coming for a meal, and Tellie was surprised at the warm feeling he evoked in her. It was friendly, though, not the tempestuous surging of her heart that she felt when she remembered the touch of J.B.’s hard lips on her mouth.

She had a suitcase that she didn’t remember packing. Inside was a pretty pink striped dress. She wore that, and light makeup, for the meal. Grange showed up on time, wearing a sports jacket with dress slacks, a white shirt and a tie. He paid for dressing. He was very good-looking.

“You look nice,” Tellie told him warmly as he followed her into the dining room, where the table was already set.

“So do you,” he replied, producing another bouquet of flowers from behind his back, and presenting
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them with a grin.

“Thanks!” she exclaimed. “You shouldn’t have!”

“You love flowers,” he said. “I didn’t think you had enough.”

She gave him a wary look. “Is that the whole truth?” she asked suspiciously and with a mischievous grin,

“or did you think you’d irritate J.B. if I had more flowers in my room?”

He chuckled. “Can’t put anything past you, can I?” he asked.

“Thanks anyway,” she told him. “I’ll just put them in water. Sit down! Nell and I chased Albert out of the kitchen and did everything ourselves. I understand he’s down at the goldfish pond slitting his wrists…”

“He is not!” Nell exclaimed. “You stop that!”

Tellie grinned. “Sorry. Couldn’t resist it. He seems to think he owns the kitchen.”

“Well, he doesn’t,” Nell said. “Not until I leave for good.”

Leave. Leave. Tellie frowned, staring into space. Nell had quit. Tellie had been crying. Nell was shouting. J.B. was shouting back. It was raining…

Grange caught her as she fell and carried her into the living room. He put her down on the sofa. Nell ran for a wet cloth.

Tellie groaned as she opened her eyes. “I remembered an argument,” she said huskily. “You and J.B.

were yelling at each other…”

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Nell frowned. “You couldn’t have heard us,” she said. “You’d already run out the door, into the rain.”

Tellie could see the road, blinded by rain, feel the tires giving way, feel the car going into the ditch…!

She gasped. “I wrecked the car. I saw it!”

Nell sat down beside her and put an arm around her. “Grange saved you,” she told the younger woman.

“He came along in time to stop you from drowning. The ditch the car went into was full of water.”

Tellie held the cloth to her forehead. She swallowed, and then swallowed again. There were odd, disturbing flashes. J.B.’s furious face. A blond woman, staring at her. There were harsh words, but she couldn’t remember what they were. She didn’t want to remember!

“Did I thank you for saving me?” she asked Grange, trying to ward off the memories.

He smiled worriedly. “Of course you did. How do you feel now?”

“Silly,” she said sheepishly as she sat up. “I’m sorry. There were some really odd flashbacks. I don’t understand them at all.”

“Don’t try to,” Nell said firmly. “Come on in here and eat. Let time take care of the rest.”

She got up, holding on to Grange’s arm for support. She drew in a long, slow breath. “One way and another, it’s been a rough few days,” she said.

“You don’t know the half,” Nell said under her breath, but she didn’t let Tellie hear her.

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The next day was Saturday. Tellie went out to the barn to see the sick calf that was being kept there while it was being treated. In another stall was a huge, black stallion. He didn’t like company. He pawed and snorted as Tellie walked past him. He was J.B.’s. She knew, without remembering or being told.

She moved to another stall, where a beautiful Palomino mare was eating from a feed trough. The horse perked up when she saw Tellie, and left her food to come to the front of the stall and nose Tellie’s outstretched hand.

“Sand,” Tellie murmured. She laughed. “That’s your name. Sand! J.B. lets me ride you!”

The horse nudged her hand again. She smoothed the white blaze between the mare’s eyes lazily. She was beginning to recover some memories. The rest, she was sure, would come in time.

She wandered past the goldfish pond on the patio and stared down at the pretty red and gold and white fish swimming around water lilies and lotus plants. The facade was stacked yellow bricks, and there were huge flat limestone slabs all around it, making an endless seat for people to watch the fish. There were small trees nearby and a white wrought-iron furniture set with a patio umbrella. In fair weather, it must be heavenly to sit there. She heard a car drive up and wondered who it was. Not J.B., she was sure. It was too soon for him to be back. Monday, Nell said, was the earliest they could expect him. Perhaps it was one of the cowboys.

It was a dreary day, not good exploring weather. She wondered how Marge and the girls were, and wanted to see them. She dreaded seeing J.B. again. Things had changed between them. She was uneasy when she considered that J.B. had left town so quickly afterward, as if his conscience bothered him. Or was it that he was afraid Tellie would start thinking about something serious? She knew so little about relationships…

She walked back through the side door into the living room and stopped suddenly. There was a beautiful blond woman standing in the doorway. She was wearing a yellow dress that fit her like a second skin.

She had long, wavy, beautiful hair and a perfectly made-up face. She was svelte and sophisticated, and she was giving Tellie a look that could have boiled water.

“So you’re the reason I’ve had to be kept away from the house,” the woman said haughtily.

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That blonde was familiar, Tellie thought suddenly, and she wanted to run. She didn’t want to talk to this person, to be around her. She was a threat.

The woman sensed Tellie’s discomfort and smiled coldly. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten me?” she drawled. “Not after you walked right in and interrupted me and J.B. on that very sofa?”

Sofa. J.B. Two people in the sofa, both half-naked. J.B. furious and yelling. Nell rushing to see why Tellie was crying.

Tellie put her hands to her mouth as the memories began to rush at her, like daggers. It was all coming back. J.B. had called her ugly. A stray. He could never love her. He didn’t want her. He’d said that!

There was more. He’d missed her graduation from college and lied about it. He’d had his secretary buy Tellie a graduation present—he hadn’t even cared enough to do it himself. He’d accused Tellie of panting after him like a pet dog. He’d said he was sick of her…pawing him…trying to touch him.

She felt the rise of nausea in her throat like a living thing. She brushed past the blonde and ran for the hall bathroom, slamming the door behind her. She barely made it to the sink before she lost her breakfast.

“Tellie?”

The door opened. Nell came in, worried. “Are you all right? Oh, for goodness sake…!”

She grabbed a washcloth from the linen closet and wet it, bathing Tellie’s white face. “Come on. Let’s get you back to bed.”

“That woman…” Tellie choked.

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“I showed her the door,” Nell said coldly. “She won’t come back in a hurry, I guarantee!”

“But I recognized her,” Tellie said unsteadily. “She and J.B. were on the sofa together, half-naked. He yelled at me. He accused me of trying to paw him. He said he was sick of the way I followed him around. He said…” She swallowed the pain. “He said I was nothing but an ugly stray that he’d taken in, and that he could never want me.” Tears rolled down her cheek. “He said he never…wanted to see me again!”