Heartless (10 page)

She walked up
behind him, pressing her cheek to his back. “I know what you’re thinking. I
stand here and look out at the backyard and I can see you, I can see them, as
though you were all right here in front of me. Then I close my eyes and it’s
gone. I realize my kids aren’t kids anymore, you’re living in another state,
Josh is remarried with kids of his own, and I’m here, all alone, rattling
around in this big, empty house, with just my memories to keep me company.”

Derek closed his
eyes, trying to fight back the wave of nostalgia. They couldn’t go back. He
couldn’t erase the mistakes he’d made in college or the mistake he made years
later. If he had it to do again, he would have leveled with Josh. He would have
told his best friend that he needed to step aside so he and Ashley could find a
way to make their relationship work. Now here he was, faced with the decision
of taking the easy way out and going back to Arkansas or staying here and
fighting Ashley’s sons for the privilege of loving their mother. It seemed like
a no-brainer to him, but Ashley had to be onboard or he’d be fighting a losing
battle.

“What do you want
me to do, Ash?” The decision had to be hers and hers alone. They were her kids
and he wouldn’t do anything to create a rift between them.

She sighed. “Can
we just take it slow, get to know each other again, and see where it takes us?”

Ashley still knew
him better than anyone else on the planet. She knew his heart, his goals, and
his dreams. None of that had changed. And standing in the circle of her arms,
twenty-five years later, he knew it never would. “I can’t take more than a few
weeks off work.”

She slipped her
arms from around his waist and took a step back. “Josh said you had a job offer
here in Nashville. Does that mean you’re not thinking about taking it?”

He shrugged. There
was a part of him that wanted to grab her and shake some sense into her. They
were so close to having everything they’d ever wanted, and she was too afraid
to take a risk. “I don’t even know what the job is yet. Besides, there’s no way
in hell I can stay in Nashville if you and I can’t be together.” It would be
torture knowing she was here, free to pursue a relationship with him, but she’d
chosen not to.

She turned away
and began pacing the floor. “I don’t know what you want me to say. This is all
happening so fast.”

He chuckled.
“Fast? Really? I don’t know that I’d call twenty-five years in the making fast,
sweetheart. I’ve loved you more than half my life.”

She turned to look
at him and her eyes were brimming with unshed tears. “You know I feel the same
way.”

“Do you? I don’t
know.”

He shoved his
hands into the pockets of his jeans when the urge to reach out and pull her
into his arms got harder to resist. He hated to see her hurting, but he knew
they couldn’t get to the other side of this without some pain and tears.

“When do we get
our shot? You and Josh had your chance. Your boys have had you their entire
lives. When do I get to make you mine?” That’s all he wanted, the opportunity
to claim her as his best friend, his life partner… his wife.

When she would
have responded, her cellphone rang. She glanced at the screen and a blush crept
up her neck, staining her cheeks.

Derek looked at
the screen.
Bill Morrow.
“Aren’t you gonna answer that?”

“Um… I can let it
go to voicemail.”

He knew if she
refused to answer, it was because she had something to hide, which pissed him
off even more. The Ashley he knew didn’t keep secrets from him, especially not
where other men were concerned. “Answer the goddamn phone.”

She winced at his
tone before picking it up and connecting the call. She took a deep breath
before pressing the phone to her ear. “Hi, Bill. What’s up?”

Derek listened
carefully to the pitch of her voice, her mood, the words she spoke to her
caller, and those she didn’t. He was trained to read people and he was damned
good at it. His every instinct told him that this Bill character was Ashley’s
lover, and the mere image of it made him want to trade the tool belt for his
gun and track this guy down. He knew his possessiveness was irrational. She was
a beautiful, single woman. She could sleep with anyone she wanted and he had no
right to weigh in on it, but right or wrong, he knew he couldn’t stand by,
knowing she was sharing another man’s bed.

She disconnected
the call and set the phone down on the counter before looking up at him. “I’m
sorry about that.”

He crossed his
arms over his chest and glared at her. “You wanna tell me who the hell this
Bill guy is?”

She licked her
lips as her eyes darted to his. “He’s… uh… a friend.”

“Bullshit.” He
stared her down. He knew he must be making her feel like one of his suspects
during a particularly intense interrogation, but he couldn’t summon an ounce of
sympathy when the jealousy was burning a hole in his gut. “Now, you wanna try
tellin’ me the truth?”

She released a
gusty sigh before shoving her hands into the pockets of her robe. “Fine. He’s
Mike’s partner. We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months.”

He should have
known her son would be behind this. It certainly explained Mike’s determination
to make sure he stopped this relationship before it even got started. He’d
already handpicked the right man for his mother, and once again, he must think
Derek was trying to interfere with her happiness.

“Have you slept
with him?”

Her mouth dropped
open. “You have no right to ask me that.”

“Don’t I?” He
smirked as he pointed at the phone. “You were pretty curious about what
happened with Heather last night.”

“That’s
different.” She crossed her arms. “I was already seeing Bill when you came back
to town. You just hooked up with this Heather person last night… after you left
me.”

“Did I hear you
makin’ plans with him?”

She had the grace
to look embarrassed as her eyes shifted to the floor. “He went to a lot of
trouble to get tickets to the Reba concert for my birthday. It would be rude to
tell him that I’d changed my mind. Besides, I didn’t think anything had been
settled between us.”

He couldn’t
believe what he was hearing. The thought of going out with, much less sleeping
with, another woman right now was appalling to him. What the hell was she
thinking? “I’ve gotta get outta here.”

She grabbed his
wrist when he walked past her. “Derek, wait, please don’t leave like this. We
need to decide where we go from here.”

“You just decided
for me when you accepted a date with another guy. Hope you have fun.”

Derek was still
cursing himself for allowing his temper to get the best of him when he was
turning onto the road leading to his brother’s log cabin. He needed a little
peace and quiet to sort things out and gain some perspective.

When his cellphone
rang, he was tempted to ignore it, until the number flashed across the screen.
It was one of Nashville’s finest, and unless he missed his guess, it was the
top cop, calling to talk to him about the job offer Josh mentioned.

“Hello.”

“Damn… it sure is
good to hear your voice, McCall.”

Derek smiled, in
spite of his foul mood. John Mathers was one of his closest friends on the
force back in the day. It had been too many years since they took the time to
reconnect. “Same goes. How’s life been treatin’ ya, Chief?”

John chuckled. “I
can’t complain. Listen, I was sorry to hear about your brother. He was a damn
fine man.”

John and Dave went
to high school together, and Derek knew the two men had remained friendly over
the years. “Thanks, John. I know he felt the same way about you.”

“I’m sorry I
wasn’t able to make the funeral. I was tied up in meetings all day.”

“No problem, I
understand. Before I forget, thanks for the flowers.”

“It was the least
I could do. Listen, you got time to stop by my office? There’s somethin’ I
wanna talk to you about.”

Derek had nothing
to do and nowhere he needed to be. Besides, if he didn’t listen to Mathers’s
proposal, he would always question what might have been. “Sure, I can be there
in half an hour, if that works for you?”

“Sounds good. I’ll
see you then, buddy.”

Derek was
surprised by the number of familiar faces he met at the police station, though
he knew he shouldn’t be. He knew most men and women in uniform felt the same
way he did; they were in it for life. They stayed on until it was time to
collect their first pension check or a bullet took them out before they got the
chance.

Derek was waiting
at the reception desk to speak to the woman with a phone pressed to her ear
when Mike rounded the corner.

He glared at Derek.
“What the hell are you doin’ here?”

“Chief Mathers
asked me to stop by and see him.” He could have told the kid it was none of his
business, since it wasn’t, but he didn’t want to burn any bridges with Mike or Jay,
not as long as there was still a chance he could make their mother see reason.

Mike raised an
eyebrow. “Really? What’d he want?”

Derek shrugged. He
wasn’t willing to tip his hand yet. “I don’t know. The chief and I go way back.
Maybe he just wanted to catch up, you know, pay his respects in person.”

“Or maybe he wants
to offer you a job?”

Derek knew that
police stations, no matter how big or small, were like most high schools in
that gossip spread like an ant infestation. If he was being looked at for a top
spot, he wasn’t surprised that Mike had heard about it. “We’ll see what he has
to say. I’m here to listen.”

Mike glanced
through the window of an open interrogation room. “You got a minute to talk
before you go in to see the chief?”

Given his open
hostility the day before, Derek was surprised that Mike seemed willing to be
civil today. “Sure, why not?” He had nothing to lose and everything to gain by
making peace with Ashley’s son.

Mike ushered him
into the room and pointed to a chair on the other side of the table. “Have a
seat.”

Derek smiled. “No
thanks, I’ll stand.” The kid may be good, but Derek had been at this a lot
longer. He knew Mike was trying to lower his defenses so he could pump him for
information.

Mike leaned back
in the chair and sighed. “I guess you know about the picture I sent my mother?”

“I was with her
when she got it.” He wanted to give the kid hell, but he couldn’t. He was just
trying to protect his mama, and Derek had to respect that. “You wanna tell me
why you felt the need to do that? Heather was just a friend, someone I hadn’t
seen in years.”

“Yeah, but my mom
didn’t know that.”

At least he had
the guts to be honest. Derek had to admire that. “Just so you know, it didn’t
work.”

“I didn’t think it
would be enough, but at least it planted a seed of doubt, right? I just have to
keep workin’ on her.”

Derek braced his
hands on the back of a chair and leaned in, glaring at Mike. “You need to mind
your own goddamn business and stay out of my way.”

“My mother is my
business, McCall. You hurt her and you disrespected my old man. I can’t forget
and I won’t forgive… ever.”

“It’s not your
decision to make. It’s your mother’s, and whether you like it or not, I’m in
love with her. I want to be with her, and I know she wants me, too.”

Mike folded his
arms over his chest. “She’s got a boyfriend, ya know.”

“I know all about
your partner. Trust me, I’m not worried.” Mike didn’t need to know that little
piece of knowledge set him off not more than an hour ago.

He smiled. “I
don’t believe you.”

Josh’s son was
obviously cut from the same cloth as his old man. With only a few years under
his belt, he was already an astute cop. “Believe what you want. Whatever you
think your mother has going with this Bill guy can’t compare to the history we
have.”

“Tell me
something… How could you do it, man?”

For the first
time, Derek saw the bitterness and anger replaced by a hint of sadness and
regret when he looked at Mike. “Do what?” He took the seat across from Mike,
knowing this may be his only chance to say what he should have said before he
left for Arkansas years ago.

“How could you
sleep with your best friend’s wife? How could you come over to our house,
pretend to be my old man’s buddy, pretend to care about me and Jay, all the
while you were just there for my mom?”

Derek closed his
eyes. There was no easy way to make him understand that he loved all of them;
he just happened to be
in
love with Ashley. “You’re wrong, Mike. Your
father’s been like a brother to me, long before we ever met your mom.”

“Really? Would you
have thought about screwing Avery or Christine, or hey, how about Nikki?”

“I don’t expect
you to understand—”

“Good, because I
don’t, and I never will.” He stood up and scraped his chair across the floor.
“I’ll never understand how my father could trust you or forgive you. And I’ll
never understand how my mother could tear our family apart over a loser like
you.”