Authors: Alison Packard
“Speaking for me and
Tara,” Renee, who was sitting in between Ray and Tara on the other
sofa, began, “we’ll be on the next tour and the one after that.
You can’t get rid of us so easily.”
“Hear. Hear.”
Clint, her drummer chimed in. “We’ve got your back, Jessie.”
“Whatever happened in
the past is in the past,” Jimmy said. “I’m sure most of us have
done something wild and crazy in our younger days.”
“I’m sure
you
have,” Ray said, shooting Jimmy a grin. “I think I
even bailed you out once or twice.”
Laughter filled the
room. Jessie relaxed and looked at Wally, who put his arm around her
shoulders and pulled her to his side. “Okay, folks,” he said.
“Let’s get to the stage and git ‘er done.”
As the band and crew
filed out of the room after Wally, Jessie got either a hug or a wink
from each of them. But it was Nikki who almost made her lose her
composure. Enveloped in a comforting hug, Jessie buried her face in
the crook of Nikki’s neck and thought that this must be what it was
like to have a sister. “We’re here for you,” Nikki said softly,
as she stroked her back. “We love you.”
Tears trickled from
Jessie’s eyes. How could she have not known how they all felt about
her? She pulled back and smiled as Nikki wiped her cheeks with her
fingertips. “Don’t cry, sweetie. It’s gonna be all right.”
Jessie sniffed and
wiped her nose. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. I might not
know what you’ve been keeping quiet, but I’ve spent a lot of time
with you, and there’s one thing I know; you’re a good person.”
Nikki’s lips curved slyly. “Don’t think I don’t how my
niece’s school got those new laptops.”
“They got laptops?”
Jessie asked with an innocent smile.
“Yes.” Nikki tilted
her head and one slender brow arched in amusement. “About three
days after I bitched to you about it.”
“Well, imagine that.”
Nikki chuckled and
stepped back. “I’ll see you soon.”
Jessie watched Nikki’s
retreating back as she left the room and let out a sigh.
“Nice speech,” Drew
said sardonically from behind her. Startled, she turned and was met
with his stony expression. “I guess I shouldn’t feel too bad. You
didn’t tell them about your past either.”
She lifted her chin.
“And they’re supporting me anyway. Which is a lot more than I can
say for you.”
A muscle twitched in
his jaw. “I think we should pull the duet.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t
think I can look at you and sing that song like it’s meant to be
sung. And I’m not a good enough actor to fake it.”
Well,
that
stung.
“You said you’d do
anything for me.”
“That was before I
found out how little our friendship means to you.”
“We can’t pull it
this close to the show.”
Drew shrugged. “I
don’t see why not. It was never supposed to be included in the
first place. The audience won’t know the difference.”
“Fine,” she
conceded. Her emotions were too raw and chafed to plead her case any
longer. “If you don’t want to do it, I can’t force you to.”
He started for the
door, then turned and looked back at her. “If this hadn’t been
leaked to the media you never would have said a word to me about it,
would you?”
“No,” she answered
truthfully. There was no point lying now.
“Why am I not
surprised?” he said, then shook his head in disgust and left the
room.
After taking five
minutes to compose herself, Jessie left the hospitality room and made
her way down the long corridor that led to the stage, while John
trailed along behind her. The sound of her boots on the linoleum
floor echoed in her mind, but it wasn’t loud enough to drown out
the voice in her head telling her she’d made the wrong decision in
not confiding in Drew when she’d had the chance. And now, because
of her cowardice, she’d not only lost him as a friend, she’d lost
what might have been the first real relationship she’d ever had.
Could things get any
worse?
“Jessie.”
She recognized Trista’s
voice and cringed. She
so
did not want to talk to Trista right now but she pasted a smile on
and turned around to find the young singer rushing toward her. “I’m
so glad I saw you.” Trista’s mass of corkscrew curls bounced as
she skidded to a halt in front of her. “How’re you holding up?”
she asked breathlessly as she placed a hand on Jessie’s arm. “I
can’t believe some of the horrible things they’ve been saying
about you. I’ve been Tweeting since yesterday that you’ve been
nothing but kind and supportive to me during the tour.”
“Thank you,” Jessie
said, even though she wasn’t sure exactly what kindness had to do
with anything. But still, it was a sweet gesture. “I appreciate
your support.”
“Barry said I was
crazy for doing it, but I don’t care.” She wrinkled her nose.
“I’m eighteen now and I can do what I want.”
Jessie smiled, then
tilted her head and frowned. “What happened to your accent?”
“Like I said, I’m
eighteen now and I can do what I want. And what I don’t want, is to
pretend to be I’m something I’m not. I love country music, but
honestly, until I went to California to do the talent show, I’d
never been out of New York State.”
“So Barry advised you
to talk like that?”
“Yes.” Trista
lifted a hand to her hair. “And he made me get these extensions.”
A grimace twisted her mouth. “They’re so
Taylor
Swift; the early years
. Which was fine for Taylor, but I’m
not her. I’m me. Don’t tell anyone…” She leaned closer and
lowered her voice. “But I’ve made an appointment at the hotel’s
hair salon. I’m having them take out the extensions. Barry won’t
know until I hit the stage tonight.” She clapped her hands in
delight. “I can’t wait to see his face. He’s going to have a
royal freak-out.”
Jessie chuckled at
Trista’s girlish glee. “I’m sure he will. But I’m glad you’re
asserting yourself. Don’t let Barry make you into someone you’re
not. You’re super talented. He’s lucky to be managing you, not
the other way around.”
Trista’s eyes
widened. “You think I’m super talented?” At her nod, Trista
squealed and threw her arms around her.
Jessie staggered back,
surprised at the girl’s reaction.
“Thank you so much.”
She pulled back and flashed a shy smile. “I’m sorry. I got a
little carried away. You really are my idol, you know. I wasn’t
making that up just to suck up to you. I care about what you think.”
“Well, I think you’ve
made the right decision about those extensions. You’re too petite
for all that hair.” Jessie looked past Trista and saw John staring
at her. He pointed to his watch and gave her a stern look. “I’ve
gotta go. Time for rehearsal.” She smiled at Trista. “I’ll see
you later. I can’t wait to see your hair.”
“Me too,” Trista
said, then turned and took off down the hall, her flat rubber soled
shoes squeaking on the linoleum as she ran.
Jessie watched her
until she disappeared around a corner, then, with a shake of her
head, she caught up with John and continued down the corridor.
The first thing she saw
when she stepped onto the stage was Drew and Wally standing together
on the other side. Whatever they were discussing was serious. At
least that’s how it looked anyway. Drew wore a scowl on his face,
and Wally was gesturing wildly with both hands.
That
was never good—she knew that from personal experience.
While their tech guru
helped her with in in-ear monitors, she tried to ignore Drew and
Wally by adjusting the ear pieces, but she couldn’t help but sneak
glances their way. What were they talking about? Had Drew informed
Wally he wasn’t doing the duet? Wally wouldn’t be happy about
that. For some reason, he was like a dog with a bone when it came to
that song.
“You’re good to
go,” Dane said, as he handed her the receiver pack. At the show
tonight, he’d tape it to her back, but for rehearsals she usually
slipped it into the back pocket of her jeans.
“Thanks, Dane,” she
said, just as Drew stepped around Wally and moved toward the riser,
where his two guitars had been set up for use during rehearsal. He
picked up his Fender Strat, glanced in her direction, and then turned
his back on her. Pain knifed through her heart. If this was how he
was going to act for the rest of the tour, she wasn’t sure she
could take it.
“We need to talk.”
Wally strode toward her and he wasn’t happy.
“What’s going on?”
she asked as he put his hand on her elbow and guided her upstage and
away from the band. “I saw you and Drew talking. Did he tell you
he’s not doing the duet?”
“No, it’s worse
than that.” Wally rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and
forefinger. “He told me he’s not finishing out the tour with us.”
Jessie’s jaw dropped.
“He’s bailing on us?”
“He’s going back to
Nashville after the show. I tried to talk him out of it. I even
offered him more money.” Wally let loose a breath that was half
frustration, half weariness. “He said no.”
“He hates me that
much?”
“No. He cares about
you that much. Damn it, girl. You claim to care about him too, but
how can you if you don’t trust him? Love is about taking a risk.
You’ve been playing it safe on that front for years.” He paused,
his face so red she feared he might have a stroke. “You’re
twenty-five years old with a whole lifetime ahead of you. Do you want
to spend it alone? Because if you do, then keep on doing what you’re
doing. You’ll be alone the rest of your natural born life.”
Stunned into
speechlessness, Jessie could only watch Wally stomp off stage in a
huff. In all her years with him she’d never seen him get so worked
up over anything.
For several moments she
stood there. Alone. Drew was only yards away, but he’d never been
farther. Because of her. Because of her fear. Wally’s words
reverberated in her head, and for the first time, she actually
listened.
An hour after rehearsal
ended, Jessie stood in the main room her suite and held up two
dresses by their hangers. “Which one should I wear?” she asked
Nikki, who was sitting on the sofa, looking back and forth between
the two garments.
“The black is
sophisticated, but it looks like something you’d wear to a
funeral.” Nikki shifted on the sofa. “I’d go with the wrap
dress. You look great in that darker shade of purple. Plus the
hemline is a little longer so when you sit you don’t have to worry
about showing too much thigh.”
“The wrap dress it
is.” Jessie draped both dresses over one of the chairs at the
table, then moved to the sofa, plopped down next to Nikki, and tucked
a leg underneath her hips to get comfortable. “Thanks for helping
me get ready for the interview. My hands are so shaky. I’m sure if
I’d tried to put the eyeliner on myself I’d end up looking like a
damn raccoon.”
Nikki laughed. “You’re
welcome. I’m happy to help,” she said, absently rubbing her baby
bump. “How did rehearsal go?”
“Not bad. Luckily,
Drew has played with the band before so it wasn’t like they were
getting used to someone new. Plus he knows the songs.” It wasn’t
quite a lie. The rehearsal had gone well except for the tension
between her and Drew. She could practically feel his eyes boring
holes into her back as she stood on stage in front him and the band.
“I noticed things
were a bit chilly between you two in the meeting this morning. Is
everything okay?”
“No. It’s not
okay,” Jessie said, surprising herself with the admission. But
after this morning, she felt closer to Nikki than she ever had
before. Maybe what she needed was the female perspective. “He hates
me.”
“Hate’s a pretty
strong word. And judging by the way he’s always acted around you,
I’d say his feelings are on the opposite end of the spectrum. Why
do you believe he hates you?”
“He thinks I don’t
trust him.”
“Is he right?”
“No. Yes.” Jessie
looked at the ceiling and groaned. “Oh, it’s so damn complicated.
Drew’s the first guy I’ve ever let myself truly care about. But
it’s so hard to talk about my life before I got famous. I did some
things I’m not proud of and I don’t want him to look at me
differently.”
“Let me tell you
something, I’ve been married to David for seven years, and during
those seven years we’ve had a lot of ups and down. There were days
I didn’t like him much and vice versa. But even when we wanted to
strangle each other, we never stopped loving each other. Has he
disappointed me? Yes. Have I disappointed him? Many times.” She
leaned forward and put her hand on Jessie’s forearm. “But all of
that has made us stronger. Trusting each other has made our bond even
deeper.”
“But David loves you.
Drew doesn’t feel that way about me.”
“Are you sure? For
him to be this upset tells me he has deep feelings for you. Most of
us don’t get angry with people we don’t care about.” An impish
smile tilted the corners of her mouth. “Unless they cut us off in
traffic.”
Jessie chuckled, then
sobered. “Last night he told me something about himself he hasn’t
shared with anyone.”
“Did you feel
differently about him afterward?”
“No. But it’s not
the same thing.”
“Sweetie, it doesn’t
matter what the
thing
is. It’s the fact he shared something personal with you. He made
himself vulnerable to you, and for most guys, that’s huge. They
don’t open up easily.”
“I want to tell him.”
A lump formed in her throat. “But I’m scared.”
Nikki gently squeezed
Jessie’s forearm. “It’s okay to be scared. But if you love
Drew, then you need to risk it. You may lose him for sure if you
don’t.”
Forty-five minutes
after Nikki had left her suite, Jessie followed John out of the
elevator on the floor below hers, and quickly located the directional
room sign on the wall. She stopped and stared at it. In a few short
minutes, she was about to do the unthinkable. Be completely
forthcoming about her life. Her
entire
life.