Heartsong Cottage (25 page)

“The yellow stripe ball is an appropriate way for me to consider the question you asked me earlier,” Gabe observed as he lined up a shot on the nine ball.

“I don't follow you.”

“You asked me how I moved on. I had to quit being a damned coward to do it.”

Daniel wanted to laugh at that. Gabe Callahan a coward? Right. Matt Callahan had told him that Gabe had spent six months in a Balkan prison. Whether the rumors he'd heard about Gabe having worked for the CIA were true or not didn't matter. The guy was obviously a hoss. “How were you a coward?”

“If I started outlining all of the ways, it would take the entire night and you'd miss your plane in the morning. Bottom line is that I was a fatalistic, pessimistic son of a bitch. Losing my wife and son sucked so badly that I was afraid to let myself go down that road again. My brain told me the chances of that particular lightning striking twice weren't high, but my heart wouldn't hear it. The thought of going through that kind of pain again—I knew I wouldn't survive it. So when Nic told me she was pregnant, I was an ass.”

Been there, done that.

“Add in survivor's guilt, and I couldn't admit to being in love.”

Daniel sipped his beer. “That's not my problem. I'm in love with Shannon and I know it.”

Gabe lifted his gaze from the felt and gave Daniel a long, considering look. “Well, now, I always knew you were a brainy guy. So you
have
moved on. In that case, what's eating you?”

Daniel bent over his cue and lined up his shot. He sank three balls before he spoke again. “I don't have a yellow stripe, Gabe. I'm yellow through to the bone. I'm afraid of so many things I could star as the Cowardly Lion on Broadway.”

“If you can admit that, you're a big step ahead of where I was when I fell for Nic.”

“Recognizing fears and overcoming them are two different things. That's what I need to know. How did you defeat yours?”

“I don't know that you ever defeat them, Dan. Instead, you learn to live with them. ‘Live' being the key word.”

“That feels like an insurmountable task. After ten years I feel as if mine are part of my DNA.”

“It helped me that living was forced upon me. I might have held out longer if it was only Nic lobbing grenades at my walls, but the babies made my surrender inevitable. I had to start living again. I was responsible for two innocent little souls.”

“Doesn't it tear you up to know how vulnerable they are? How much evil is out there in world waiting to eat them alive? Don't you lie awake at night worrying about how the hell you are going to protect them?”

“That sounds like we might be getting to the heart of the problem.”

Daniel rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe I could get past the fear of that lightning strike, but I don't know that I'll ever work my way beyond the reality of just how vulnerable they are. I failed one family. I failed my son. I didn't protect him. How do I risk history repeating itself?”

Gabe gave a silent whistle. “Wow, you're as big a head case as I was, aren't you?”

“I'm pretty bad.”

“I don't know that I'm going to be much help to you, Daniel, because I've got nothing for you where protective instincts are concerned. My own work overtime. I guess it's simply something we face as fathers.”

“At the risk of being a whiner, I don't want to face it.”

“That, I can advise about. Don't make the same mistake I made. I tried to run away from my fears, and in doing it, I did something borderline unforgivable. I hurt Nic badly. I'm damned lucky that she has such a forgiving heart.”

Daniel winced. “I'm afraid I might be following a bit too closely in your footsteps. What I did today was beyond stupid. I don't know if Shannon can forgive it.”

“Like Nic so often tells me, sometimes it's difficult for a man to overcome the stupidity of his gender. I've got one word for you. Grovel. You can follow up with flowers and romance and fantastic sex—but lead with your best shot. Swallow your pride and grovel. It'll save you a lot of time. When you love a strong woman and you screw up, it's the price you have to pay. Take that bit of advice to the bank.”

“I don't know, Callahan. I don't grovel.”

“If it was as bad a screwup as it sounds, I suggest you learn.”

*   *   *

Hope Romano and fate gave Shannon a reprieve from battle planning that evening when Hope, her husband, and their children arrived at Murphy's wanting fish-and-chips for supper. As Daniel's closest friends in town, their warm greeting assured Shannon that Daniel had yet to launch his first attack. Then Hope dropped a bombshell. “I feel so bad for Daniel, having to leave town on such short notice with Soupy still in distress. I know he hated leaving her behind.”

He left? The son of a bitch ran away?

Reeling from the news, Shannon faked her way through the moment. Obviously, the Romanos expected her to already know the news.

“He's due for some good luck. Maybe this time he'll find the little boy.”

A case? He's gone on a case?
“I hope so,” Shannon replied, meaning it.

Once she turned the Romanos' order in to the kitchen, she stole a moment for herself and ducked outside. Knees a little shaky, she sank onto a picnic table bench. “Okay, this is good,” she murmured. It gave her time. Time was a good thing.

He'd be back. He'd left his dog.

She could take her time rolling out her news. She'd had a reprieve.

Exhaling a heavy breath and what felt like a year's worth of tension, she returned to work with a lighter heart.

The following week sped by. The overwhelming fatigue that had plagued her for weeks seemed to have abated, and she felt amazingly better. Her work at Three Bears was going well, the final design for all three houses finished and approved, and the first mosaic eighty percent done. It was fabulous, if she said so herself. And to think she'd been disappointed when the itinerary for her study-abroad class took her to Lisbon instead of Madrid. Her time in Portugal had sparked an interest that eventually led here to this little valley and was going to fund her obstetrician's bill and hospital expenses and allow her to buy the nursery decorations that she'd always dreamed of having.

“Heaven knows, I can't count on the baby's father to do it,” she grumbled to her reflection as she donned her headband, a furry confection complete with pointy ears—part of her costume for this Halloween night at the pub. She hadn't gone all out in dressing up, but she did keep in the spirit of things with her headband and foxtail belt, though she'd forgone the matching sky-high heels. She liked her stilettos as much as the next girl, but with Halloween falling on a Saturday this year, the pub would be crazy. She'd be on her feet all night—or at least until the music started.

She had a fabulous guitarist playing tonight, beginning late. Since she'd established the pub as a family-friendly venue, Murphy's welcomed trick-or-treaters tonight until eight
P.M.
She'd stocked up on mini candy bars—no lame hard candy for her Halloween visitors—and when she arrived to help Honey with the early crowd, she found the Callahans' twins, Cari and Meg, already there, packing away chicken nuggets and fries and chattering away like magpies.

“Dad says Halloween is a nutrition-free zone, Miss Shannon,” Cari explained when Gabe ordered stuffed potato skins to go with it.

“Gabe!” Nic protested.

Gabe grinned and shrugged. “It's Halloween. And they'll let me steal some of their Three Musketeers bars if I play the good guy now.”

“And when do you ever not play the good guy?” Nic observed in a long-suffering tone.

“Hey, they're my baby girls.”

“We're not babies, Daddy,” Meg said.

Shannon left the Callahans to their meal and got to work. A festive mood filled the air, with plenty of excitement and laughter by children and parents alike. Shannon passed out candy to princesses and cowgirls, Elsa, Darth Vadar, and Superman. But it was Sage Rafferty's new, beautiful little girl, Ella, who reached in and grabbed hold of her heart.

Next Halloween, I'll have a baby dressed like a little pumpkin.

The crowd thinned after eight when the children and their parents all departed, but swelled again toward nine when the music was slated to begin. That's when she overheard the news that Daniel was back in town.

She knocked over a full pint of ale.

Okay, don't be ridiculous,
she scolded herself as she wiped up the spill.
You knew he'd be back
.

She told herself that the little spurt of something she felt was simply indigestion. Not excitement. Not happiness. Definitely not relief. No. Absolutely not.

You're at war, remember? Don't forget how he made you feel when you told him
.

Her stomach rolled and she hoped she hadn't picked up that virus going around the kindergarten class.

She rinsed out her cleanup rag, tossed it in with the other dirty towels, and grabbed a clean one. She needed to keep her mind on the goal. In the past week her heated temper had cooled—all the way to ice. Hard and frigid and solid, it was in no danger of melting.

So, her reprieve from dealing with this problem had come to an end. The time to fire the first shot in her war with Daniel Garrett was upon her. She should do it now, tonight, on her own turf. If she could just work up the nerve to do it.

Her gaze drifted toward the end of the bar. The Ciceros had taken seats there so Rose could visit with Shannon. Since Rose's new family and part-time job at the medical clinic kept her running from dawn until long past dusk most days, outside of their weekly critique group, the two women didn't see much of one another anymore. They both regretted it.

Rose was Shannon's best friend, and while Cicero's loyalty might lie with the Romanos and, as a result, Daniel, Shannon knew that Rose would side with her. But it would help if she got out in front of the story, put Daniel on the defensive from the git-go.

The time had come to go public with her pregnancy.

Okay, then. Do it
. Speak the truth and nothing but the truth. Announce the pregnancy with her head held high and name Daniel as the father whenever asked. Whenever anyone asked what their plans were—and invariably, they would—she'd say that Daniel didn't believe the baby was his. She would keep her tone neutral and nonaccusatory, hiding her anger and her pain. Let him look the fool when he blabbed his personal health history. Let him explain his reaction. Let people draw their own conclusions. Starting tonight.

As the musician began his second set with a fabulous guitar riff and the crowd settled in to listen, she delivered a pint to the patron seated next to Rose, then said, “I'm going to fill one more round of orders and then take a break. Would you steal upstairs with me for a few minutes? I have something I need to tell you.”

Rose's eyes lit with interest. “Sure.”

Shannon delivered a tray of pints to Mac and Ali Timberlake and their son Chase and his fiancée, who were in town to discuss plans for their upcoming wedding. Shannon couldn't help but notice that Ali's expression appeared strained, despite her avowed determination to grow to love her son's choice. I'm not the only one with relationship challenges, Shannon thought as she motioned for Rose to join her. The newlywed leaned over and whispered something to her husband, kissed him on the cheek, and followed Shannon up the stairs to her office.

She started chatting before Shannon had the door shut behind them. “Life has been entirely too busy for both of us. I've been dying to talk to you. I picked up the phone to call yesterday and then Daisy fell and skinned her knee, which meant the world stopped turning on its axis. Tell me about Key West. I want to hear everything, beginning with how long this thing with Daniel has been going on. I can't believe you kept the news to yourself. I knew something was up—you had that air about you. But I thought maybe you'd been seeing Logan McClure or that maybe one of the Romano relatives was sneaking into town. I never guessed it was Daniel.”

“I'm pregnant!” Shannon blurted out, not at all what she'd intended. As Rose's eyebrows arched with surprise, Shannon totally blew her plan by bursting into tears.

“Oh, honey.” Rose wrapped her arms around Shannon and held her while she sobbed out the story.

“It happened at Gabi's wedding. I had too much to drink and I was so lonely and he was so handsome and it was dark and romantic and I love roses. We argued about music and it was fun. So much
fun!
I hadn't had fun with a man in a very long time. He walked me home and I invited him in and we're going to have a baby. I'm keeping it, but he doesn't believe me!”

“He doesn't believe you? That you're keeping it?”

“That the baby is his! He had a vasectomy!”

Shannon watched her physician friend swiftly follow the thought process. Rose said, “Oh.”

“Yes. Oh. He accused me of trying to hoist somebody else's baby off on him! But she's his baby, Rose. I swear it. I haven't been with another man in over two years!”

Disgust rolled through Rose's voice. “Why, that half-wit.”

The words were balm to Shannon's wounded soul.

“Seriously,” Rose continued, stepping back and bracing her hands on her hips as her temper gathered steam. “I thought Daniel Garrett was smarter than that. I get that there are women out there who no one should trust, but the man's a detective. How could he spend any time at all with you—much less sleep with you—and think you could tell such a monumental lie?”

Rose wasn't trying to wound her, Shannon knew. She had no way of knowing that her words scored a direct hit on the dam holding back Shannon's reservoir of guilt.

Rose's indignation grew. “You have every right to be hurt and furious, Shannon. There's just no excuse for behavior like that from him. Why, next time I see him I just might have to kick his ass from here to Gunnison. With my steel-toed boots.”