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Of course, if you look at the pictures, you probably wouldn't think they were very good evidence. On one side you have my mom: always stylish, completely charming, totally beautiful. And then there's me. I'm . . . not my mother
.

Even back in those days of yore, the Moore family wasn't exactly typical. First off, my dad was like a major government spy. Half the time he was off to some jungle or desert or foreign capital. I never knew which one because he could never talk about it. Then when he was home, Dad dedicated himself to my little problem. The Gaia-don't-get-scared-of-anything problem
.

Which wouldn't have been such
a problem at all except my dad was afraid that I wouldn't get scared when I should. Which was completely wrong. Just because I'm fearless doesn't mean I'm stupid. I don't go jumping off cliffs. I don't get into a fight with more than two or three idiots at a time. Usually
.

But Dad made me study every martial art in creation so I could stomp the crap out of the people I should have been afraid of but wasn't. By the time he was through, he had turned me into the muscle-bound freak girl I am today
.

Snow. This is about snow
.

In the mountains it snowed for weeks at a time. Not wimpy little flurries. Serious snow. And when it stopped, we would build snowmen and snow forts and snow anything else you could think of. My dad would even stop telling me about "the sixteen deadly pressure points on the human body" long enough to come outside and
take part in snowball Armageddon
.

Of course, not every snow was perfect. I mean, it was snowing on that night, too. The last night
.

Blood melts into the snow. You might think it would spread out and fade. Maybe it would even turn some shade of pink. It doesn't. Blood is dark against the snow. That night, that last night, it looked almost black
.

Okay, now let's talk about city snow. Let's talk about snow in New York
.

First off, it doesn't snow that much here. People talk about this place like it's the north slope of Alaska, but we're lucky to have two decent snows a year. Every little flurry here is treated like an emergency. Two flakes get together, half the city runs for home
.

When the snow does fall, it starts out white, just like mountain snow. But give it two hours on the ground, and it turns into
certified City Snow
TM
, pat. pending
.

City Snow is not a product of nature. It looks like a mixture of wet cement and motor oil. Ever see a Coke Slurpee? That's pretty close. Not the kind of stuff you want someone to wad up and throw at you
.

I guess you could make a snow fort in the park--if you worked fast enough to get it done before the snow turned to goo. You might get in a few decent snowballs. Maybe make a snowman, too
.

But some jerk would probably come along and mug it.


Just one little line would be like ten pounds of Dove dark chocolate.

ELLA DROPPED THE GLOWING STUB OF
a pastel-colored cigarette and heard it hiss into the snow at her feet. She shivered as she tightened the sable-edged hood around her face. The plush fur coat kept her arms and body warm, but it did nothing for the frigid wind that crept under her skirt.

Her Nature

There were at least a hundred decent restaurants in the city and another hundred that were passable. Ella fantasized about a plate of steaming alfredo at Tony's. Perhaps some black crab cake at Opaline. To get out of the wind, she would have settled for coffee at the nearest Chock Full o' Nuts. Instead she was stuck, shivering in the park, watching a little idiot who didn't have the brains to get in out of the cold.

"All right," she said. "Your little protégé finished her fight, and now she's eating her dessert. Do we have to stay out here and freeze all night?"

Beside her, a tall form shifted in the deep shadows of the winter trees. "We're watching. Isn't that your assignment?"

Ella glanced at the girl resting on the cold park bench. Was there some law that said Gaia couldn't go inside like a civilized person?
For the ten-thousandth time
, Ella wished she had never taken on this assignment. Not that she had been given

any choice. "I watch Gaia every day. How long are we going to stay out here?" she asked.

"As long as we have to," said the tall man.

Loki stepped forward, and the light from a distant streetlamp cast sharp shadows across his rugged features. He stood with his hands jammed into the pockets of his black trench coat and his deep-set eyes focused on Gaia. "We wait until we know what we need to know."

Ella scowled. "But she's not doing anything," she said, allowing a note of complaint to creep into her voice. It irritated Ella that Loki would rather spend time out here just watching Gaia when they could be spending that time in a much more intimate way.

"Exactly." Loki turned his face toward Ella for a moment. In the dim light his eyes looked as dark as the winter sky. "And that's what we're here to observe."

"Nothing?"

Loki made an exasperated growl. "You've had months to study this girl," he said. "How many times have you seen her sit quietly and do nothing?"

Ella thought for a moment. "Not many," she said carefully.

"Not many? Try none. Not even after a fight like that. She's usually up and running as soon as she gets her energy back." Loki nodded toward the distant bench where Gaia sat in the falling snow. "The girl is restless. Headstrong. It's part of her nature." He

pulled his hands from his pockets and ran gloved fingers along the rough bark of an ancient elm. "Gaia goes hunting for something to eat. Gaia goes looking for another fight. Gaia does not sit quietly and think."

Ella shivered again. "She just finished beating up some guy three times her size. Isn't that enough for you?"

Loki made a noise of disgust
. "Did you see how she fought? She was slow. Clumsy. Her heart wasn't in the fight." He shook his head. "That fool should have been no problem, but Gaia came close to being seriously injured."

That thought made Ella smile inwardly. If only Gaia would hurry up and get herself killed. Ella was so tired of hearing Loki talk about the little blond-haired beast. If the girl got herself shot or stabbed or, even better, slowly and painfully beaten to death, Loki would be angry for a time, but he would recover. Best of all, Ella could leave her sham marriage and be with him all the time. That was sure to speed his recovery.

"Maybe she's sick," said Ella.

"If she has an illness, it's not caused by any bacterium or virus," replied Loki. "No. I have a good idea of what's gone wrong with our girl."

She's not
my
girl.
Ella knew that Loki had something in mind. She wished he would just spit it out. It
was far too cold for drama. "What is it?" she asked.

"Mary Moss."

It took Ella a moment to place the name. "The little junkie girl? Is that what you're worried about?"

Loki was slow to reply. "The relationship between Gaia and this Moss girl is certainly something that we must consider." Loki put his hands back into his coat pockets. "Moss and the other friends that Gaia has made. They're making her . . ." He paused for a moment, a frown turning down the corners of his mouth. "They're having an unforeseen effect."

Ella stared at him.
Loki was hiding something
. That wasn't surprising--Loki was always hiding some secret. It was part of his job. But this secret involved Gaia, and that made it Ella's business, too.

She clenched her teeth in frustration. Ella couldn't see what difference it made that Gaia had picked up a few pitiful friends, and she certainly didn't like the idea that Loki wouldn't tell her what was going on. "The Moss girl is nothing but a whining little addict, and that other kid, Fargo, is a cripple. Neither of them seems dangerous."

"They're far more dangerous than you know, my dear." He turned to Ella and took a step toward her. "Have you forgotten the goal of this project?"

The intensity of the look in Loki's eyes made Ella take a step back. "No, I--"

"Then you'll understand that for things to end up as they should, Gaia must not feel close to anyone," he said. "It's important that she not form any deep attachments."

"I understand." The explanation sounded reasonable enough, but Ella still had the feeling that Loki was hiding something. Something serious.

Loki nodded. "I have to admit that I underestimated this problem myself. I was looking for physical dangers to Gaia, not for this sort of difficulty."

A fresh gust of wind blew in among the trees. Ella shook from head to toe. "Now that we've seen her, couldn't we go somewhere?" Ella stretched her hand toward Loki's. "We don't get enough time together. We could go to your place in the Village and--"

"Not now," said Loki.

No matter how many times Loki rejected her, it always seemed to sting. Ella tried to look unaffected, but she could feel anger settling over her features. She could see no reason for them to stand there being cold. It wasn't as if Gaia was suddenly going to jump up and do something interesting.

Ella started to point this out, but quickly shut her mouth. Making Loki angry was definitely on the list of very
unhealthy activities
. She had already pushed her luck far enough.

"Maybe I can help solve this problem," Ella suggested.

Loki had already turned his attention back to Gaia. "And how will you do that?" he said without looking at her.

"I could forbid Gaia to go out to see these friends," Ella suggested.

Loki laughed. It was a sound as cold as the snow around them. "And exactly what good would that do? Do you really think Gaia would obey your order?"

Ella felt her face grow warm. She didn't like being reminded of the way Gaia refused to respect her commands. And she especially didn't like the tone of Loki's voice. He seemed amused by the whole idea.

"Maybe I could talk to the parents of the Moss girl," she said. "I could hint that Gaia might have trouble with drugs herself. They might keep Mary--"

"No," said Loki with a sharp shake of his head. "That kind of intervention would only cause Gaia to rebel further. I believe that in this case direct action may be required."

That was an answer Ella had no trouble interpreting. "Then what should I do? I could follow Moss and--"

"Leave the girl to me," Loki interrupted. "No, I have something else for you to do." He stopped abruptly and scanned Ella from head to spiked heels. "There's another of Gaia's relationships that concerns me. One that I think you may be particularly well suited to handle."

CRIMINALS WERE ALL BIG BABIES
. Just because it was dark, cold, and snowing, they were all off somewhere keeping their little toes warm. The whole park was deserted.

A Lot of Little Things

Gaia folded her legs beneath her, chomped half a chocolate doughnut in a single bite, and watched the snow fall.

The weather doofus on the eleven o'clock news was calling for six inches, but at the moment the snow was barely there. Big, heavy flakes drifted down slowly from a sky that was half clouds and half stars. It was more than a flurry but
a long way from a blizzard
.

Spots of cold moisture appeared on Gaia's face as the snow stuck and melted. Snowflakes caught in her hair and snagged on her eyelashes. Slow streams of melt water made their way down her cheeks, and damp spots even dared to appear on her
sacred doughnut
.

Memories of childhood snow were one thing, but Gaia quickly decided that getting hit in the face by real snowflakes wasn't particularly romantic. Instead it was cold and wet. Still, Gaia sat facing into the night until the collar of her sweater was damp and her long, pale hair was a wind-whipped mess.

She felt weird. There had to be a word for the emotion Gaia felt, but she wasn't sure what that word would be. It wasn't fear. She could be sure of that much. She didn't feel afraid. If her father was right, she
couldn't
feel afraid. Not ever. But if she couldn't be afraid, she could still feel sadness. And loneliness. And guilt. In Gaia's opinion, it wasn't a very good deal.

Except this feeling wasn't one of those familiar aches. This was
an actual, honest-to-whatever good feeling
. This was a lot of little things that added up to something that might almost be happiness. At least Gaia thought it was happiness. She didn't exactly have a great basis for comparison.

Gaia shoved the second half of the doughnut into her mouth, opened her eyes, and watched as the last of the stars vanished behind the advancing clouds. For what seemed like a century, Gaia had been holding all her secrets to herself. Now, for the first time since being forced to move to New York, she had friends she could share with.

They probably weren't friends her parents would have approved of, but Gaia's parents were long gone. Out of the picture. Mary Moss was a recovering coke addict with something of a wild streak. Ed Fargo had been a daredevil nutcase on a skateboard until an accident cured him of being crazy and left him in a wheelchair.
They weren't perfect people
.

But that was a good thing. Gaia could never have been comfortable with perfect people. No matter what they had been or what they had done, Ed and Mary were what Gaia needed. People that she could relax with. People that made her almost feel normal.