Authors: Karina Halle
“Optimistic because I have a great track record with you,” he murmurs, lips still to my ear. “Perfect, even. If only your dress were shorter, I could have my fingers inside you right now and no one would know.” I automatically clench at the thought. “Finger fuck you right here, among all these people, until your knees gives out.”
“Logan,” someone’s voice breaks the spell. I’m not even sure whose, I’m too turned on to function and he hasn’t even laid a finger on me.
Slowly he pulls away from me and I open my eyes to see Daniel staring at us.
Logan clears his throat. “Yes?”
“Uh, sorry to interrupt. We’re running out of champagne for the punch. Should I dip into the stash you got for midnight?”
“Nah,” he says, taking a sip of his. “We’ll just move onto the Mai Tais. You do a good job with those.”
“Thanks,” Daniel says, tipping his plastic hat at him before he looks to me, giving me a mild smirk. “Guess I won’t be planning to kiss
you
at midnight,” he says before he walks off to the bar.
Logan raises his brows. “If he kissed you, I would have punched him the bloody face.”
I smack his shoulder. “Oh come on, caveman. Besides, he and Nikki are apparently an item now. Or again. I can’t keep up with the dating antics around here.”
“It’s like bloody summer camp,” he comments with a sigh. But instead of looking put-off by it, he looks pleased. I know he takes a lot of pride in how close-knit everyone is here.
The two of us part ways for the rest of the evening while he does the rounds, making sure everyone is having a good time, and somehow Kate convinces me to dance. The Mai Tais help, as do the feather boas, shiny hats and tiaras, and noise makers, and soon nearly all of us are cutting loose on the dance floor, ready to bring in the New Year.
Then the slow music comes on as we near the countdown. “Purple Rain” starts to play and while I’m looking to the computer with amazement, I see Logan stepping away from the playlist and heading right for me.
“I would have played ‘Kashmir,’” he says, taking my hand in his. “But that’s a great song to fuck to, not to dance too. Will you have this dance with me?”
I blink at him as he pulls me close, wrapping his arms around me. What he just said is the kind of thing he normally says in private, not in the middle of a crowded dance floor.
“Oh relax,” he murmurs, his head against mine as he starts to lead me around the floor, swaying slowly back and forth. I can’t remember the last time I slow-danced with someone.
Actually I can. I think it was with my father at Logan and Juliet’s wedding.
I swallow hard at that thought, but for once it’s not the punch to the gut it used to be. Our days together have brought a peace about her that I hadn’t had before.
Soon other people start dancing alongside us. Johnny and Lucia, Charlie and Kate, Daniel and Nikki. Even Jin is dancing with an elderly lady and showing off some pretty impressive moves, making her laugh.
“I never wanted to be your weekend lover,” Logan sings into my ear, his voice deep, rich, washing over me like tropical rain. I hold him closer and rest my head on his chest, hearing his heart beat underneath. Strong, just as he is, and getting louder, faster, as we dance into the night, dance into a world that’s just our own.
And when the song is over, we don’t break apart. We keep dancing. We keep dancing as Charlie stands on one of the tables, shirtless, a party hat on his head and starts counting down loudly.
“Ten! Nine! Eight!” he shouts, pumping his fist.
“It was a hell of a year,” Logan says to me. There’s a gravity in his voice as his eyes search mine.
“It was.”
“Seven! Six! Five!”
“I could never have believed it would end like this,” he says.
“Neither.” My voice is small as he places his fingers on my jaw, a light, delicate touch.
“Four! Three! Two!”
“I love you,” he whispers. “So bloody much.”
“I love you, too.” My words are breathless.
“One! Happy fucking new year!” Charlie yells, stomping his feet on the table and throwing his hat into the crowd.
Everyone erupts into hollering and cheering and laughing, punctuated by a ton of loud noisemakers. Logan and I, we smile knowingly, feeling that love run deep, deeper than I could have ever thought possible. Soul to soul, what we share is fathomless.
And then he kisses me. Not the timid, shy kiss usually reserved for New Year’s Eve. But the kind of kiss that tells the world that I am his.
And he is mine. I kiss him back with just as much passion, my hands in his hair, at his back, one of his hands at my waist, the other cupping my face. Our mouths are lost to each other, warm and wet and bigger than my wildest dreams. This man is all I need.
I know we are getting carried away and I don’t care. Time doesn’t seem to matter at all, it has no place in our world where the beautiful moments seem to last forever.
So when we break apart, we’re slightly surprised to see the staff at Moonwater Inn all crowded together at the edge of the dance floor and staring at us with open mouths.
Well. Not Kate and Daniel. They’re actually smiling, looking relieved. But Johnny, Charlie, Lucia, Nikki, and Jin? Well you could shoot golf balls into their gaping maws. I’ve never seen a group of people look so shocked before.
To be honest, it’s a good feeling, to have it all out in the open like this. This is who we are, judge us if you’re going to judge us, but we love each other and that’s all that really matters.
“Looks like we’ve been caught,” Logan comments with good humor. He takes my hand. “Come on Lucy, we have some splainin’ to do,” he says in his best Desi Arnez impression.
I take in a deep breath for courage and he leads me over to them.
No one says anything for a moment.
Then Kate blurts out, “Finally!”
“What, uh,” Johnny says pointing at us. His bow-tie is undone and he has red lipstick on his cheek from where Lucia must have kissed him. “What was that?” He points at my hand in Logan’s. “What is this!? The
habut
and the little
wahine
?”
“We have something we would like to announce,” Logan says smoothly.
“Uh, pretty sure you announced it with your tongues down each other’s throats,” Charlie says flatly.
“N’ Sync, go put on a shirt,” Logan says, then looks to everyone else. “It’s not anyone’s business and I know you’re unlikely to understand. But all we can ask for is for a bit of respect. You don’t have to approve, but as it stands…this is the reality. This is who we are.” He clears his throat.
“Dude,” Johnny breathes out. “Wow. This explains so much.”
“Yeah,” speaks up Jin, who is grinning. “Why you’ve been so happy lately. You’ve been getting lucky.”
I laugh at that, high, girlish giggles. My stomach is churning with nerves and yet I feel happy, happy and free that this is actually happening. It’s scary but so worth it.
Logan gives him a calm smile. “Believe me, none of this was taken lightly. We all know what Juliet was to both of us and who she was to all of you. But life has a funny way of working out. You can’t always choose who you fall in love with and only sometimes are you lucky enough to have a second chance at love. What I have with Veronica, though, goes far beyond a second chance.” He squeezes my hand and gives me a tender look, one that makes me nearly buckle at the knees. “She makes me want to be a better man. She makes me get up each morning and live without fear. She’s everything I could have dreamed life could be.”
Oh god.
Don’t cry,
I tell myself.
Don’t cry, don’t cry.
“Freckles, you’re my love, you’re my home, and you’re my light,” he says, turning to face me, taking both my hands in his.
And that’s when I realize it. That’s when I realize that this confession, the announcement of our love and coupling or whatever you want to call it, is more than I thought. That this wasn’t something spur of the moment and it wasn’t because we were caught kissing and enjoying it. This was thought-over, this was
planned
.
Logan is nervous. There’s a bead of sweat at his forehead, his eyes are wavering. It’s not over
their
approval.
It’s over mine.
“I know this is fast,” he says to me. “I know we have obstacles. I know that the path will get rough for a while. But I would rather walk over coals with you then stay safe and alone. I would rather face the misgivings and the judgement and be by your side, then go the safe route without you. You’re worth it all, so worth it, and in the end, that’s all that matters to me. You are all that matters.”
He clears his throat, glancing anxiously at the crowd who are standing in shock and awe.
Then he drops to one knee.
Nikki and Kate gasp dramatically in unison.
I can’t. Fucking. Breathe.
He holds my hand while he reaches into his pocket. My mouth is clamped together, fighting back tears, my other hand at my chest.
Is this real? IS THIS REAL?
What is happening?
Logan stares up at me and in his eyes I see it all – he’s afraid but it won’t keep him from me. Nothing will.
“Veronica Locke,” he says, voice choking up. He brings a shiny ring out of his pocket, holding it out in front of me. “Will you marry me?”
My world is spinning, a warm gentle cycle, but I’m spinning all the same.
Logan is asking me to marry him.
There are a million thoughts and worries and layers of doom swirling around me, wanting in, to take this moment and ruin it with doubt, with guilt, with shame.
But I don’t let them in. I push them out, where they belong.
I’m going with my heart now.
Logan is asking me to marry him.
To become his wife.
There’s only been one answer.
“Yes,” I gasp, tears spilling down my cheeks. “Yes.”
Everything becomes a blur. He slips the ring on my finger – through my tears it shines like a new star – and then I’m dropping to my knees beside him, grabbing his face in disbelief.
“Is this really happening?” I ask.
“Yes,” he whispers. “It really is. I love you. I made mistakes and it should have been you, it always should have been you, and now it is. It’s happening. And if it’s a dream, I don’t want to wake up.”
“Me neither,” I sob and then I’m kissing him, my lips on his mouth, his cheeks, his forehead and he’s embracing me and people around us are erupting into applause.
I look around, smiling, crying, embarrassed, overjoyed. And I look at everyone, all my friends, my
ohana
, and I know things are going to be okay. Some of them are smiling, some of them are still in shock, some of them look suspicious. But in the end I know they stand by me, and stand by us, and if it’s weird right now, they’ll allow it to get better.
Eventually we get up, Logan hauling me to my feet, brushing my hair from my face, kissing me with tears in his eyes.
“It’s you and me, Freckles. Me and you.”
And then, then, the party
really
starts. The champagne is flowing, guests are congratulating us, the music is blaring. Johnny comes up to us, pulling us both into a hug, and says, “This is weird but you both know that. You’re good people and you both deserve to be happy. Even you,
habut
. No, especially you. God. Give the rest of us a break, man.”
Soon after, Kate and Nikki come up to see the ring, which I can fully appreciate now that my eyes have dried. It looks almost vintage, an asymmetrical pearl offset by diamonds that sparkle like the Hawaiian sky under these lights. Then they bombard me with questions about being bridesmaids and where the wedding will be held and all the things that I never dared to dream about but now is a total reality. The only person who is a bit stand-offish is Charlie, but I figure he’s drunk (still shirtless, too) and just needs some time to come around.
When it gets late and things start to wind down, the new day seeping into the night, Logan takes my hand and leads me home to his house.
There’s so much to discuss, so many things we’re going to have to face.
But we’re doing it together.
And for tonight, we’re the only people that matter.
I wake up in Logan’s arms. I wake up with a gorgeous diamond and pearl ring on my finger. I wake up with this man’s love. A pledge for endless love.
And I wake up afraid.
I take in a deep breath, turning my head to see Logan sleeping soundly beside me, snoring lightly. He’s so beautiful, the perfect face at first glance, but the closer you look, the more you see the imperfections. The acne scars on his cheek, the way his nose twists in the middle, a surfing injury from back in the day. When he smiles you can see a few crooked bottom teeth, and his grin itself isn’t fully even.