Heaven Bound (A Blakemore Family Book: Madame Lou Series Book 2) (3 page)

Jack groaned in misery when his valet knocked on the bedroom door. The smell of coffee broke through the pounding in his head as he forced his eyes open. Somehow, Griffin had managed to undress him and get him to bed last night, obviously ignoring his earlier instructions. Jack remembered leaving dinner early and returning to his cabin only to end up drinking too much and passing out in the small sitting room.

His low mood had started with the conversation at dinner. Whenever he allowed himself to think of Clara, he was haunted by the last time he’d seen her. The mortician had allowed him to view her perfectly-embalmed corpse before sealing the coffin one last time. That had been over a month ago and it had been agony to see her looking so pale and thin, nothing like the beautiful vibrant woman he’d married.

“Shall I prepare a bath for you, sir?” Griffin asked, handing Jack a cup of black coffee.

“Yes, thank you. What time is it?”

“Nearly luncheon, sir.” Griffin disappeared into the tiny water closet. “I can bring you a tray if you’d prefer to eat in your rooms.”

“That would probably be best. I don’t think I’m fit for the first-class dining salon today.”

“No disrespect, but for a moment there I’d been hoping you’d turned a corner, sir.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just thought maybe you were finally going to start living again, sir.”

Jackson signed and rubbed his aching head. “Maybe I don’t want to, Griffin, not if it means forgetting the love I had with Clara.”

Griffin checked the bathtub and turned off the spigots. “You’ll never forget her, of course, Mr. Bradley, but you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, and a pretty good one at that. It would be an awful shame if I’m the only companion you have who sees you into your old age.”

“Did I ever tell you how I met Clara?”

“No, sir.” Griffin lied.

“I was seventeen and she was sixteen. She was a serving girl at her father’s tavern in the village on my family’s estate. I fell in love with Clara at first sight and, much to my father’s chagrin, I’ve never looked at another woman since then. Against the earl’s wishes I married Clara and with a small inheritance from my uncle, we left for America. I never once even considered that I had made a mistake.”

“Mrs. Bradley was a lovely woman, no doubt about it.” Griffin helped Jack out of his pajamas.

“She was everything to me, Griffin, and I don’t know if living again will be possible without her.” Stepping into the hot water, Jack sighed as he lowered himself. “Maybe if we’d had children, I could have carried on for them. But Clara never was able to carry a child to full term. Sometimes I blame myself. Maybe if I’d let her be, she would have been strong enough to fight the disease. Maybe she would still be alive.”

“You mustn’t say such things, sir. I’m certain Mrs. Bradley would be very upset if she could see you like this.”

“You are probably right, but nevertheless, I’m in no mood or condition today to be seen in polite society.”

“I assume that means you won’t be visiting the ship’s barber today then?” Griffin said and began the task of shaving Jackson’s stubble.

“Just make sure the liquor cart is full, Griffin. Then you may take the rest of the day off.”

“I’ll see you fed first, if you don’t mind, Mr. Bradley.”

“Very well, Griffin. You are as bad as a mother hen.” Jack enjoyed ruffling his valet’s feathers. It was a small thing, but these days it was all he had.

Griffin helped Jack dress in a casual suit. “Just in case you decide to take a stroll later, sir.”

“While you are out rustling up a meal, would you give a message to Mr. James for me?”

“Of course.”

“Just ask for his and Miss James pardon that I’m not feeling up to joining them for dinner tonight. They came on this ship at my request and now I’ve let them both down. Never mind, Griffin. Let me write it down in a note. I wouldn’t want Simon to misunderstand.”

“I’m sure he won’t, sir, but Miss James will be disappointed.”

“Indeed, Addie will not be happy with me.”

Jack sealed his letter in an envelope and gave it to his valet to deliver. It was wrong of him to hide in his cabin, but Jackson just couldn’t face his friends right now. The way Adeline had looked at him yesterday when he had been enjoying the countess’s conversation made him feel he’d been disrespectful to Clara’s memory. Addie had obviously been upset that he was having a good time, and she was right. He had no business forgetting that he was in mourning after only a few months. It was better that he stayed away from them so he could remember what it was he’d lost and so they could enjoy the voyage without him casting a dark cloud over their merriment.

* * *

“Shouldn’t we wait for Jackson to join us?” Adeline asked as her father led her to a table in the Paris-style restaurant that was only available to the first-class passengers.

“I forgot to mention that he sent a note earlier. He gave his apologies. Ah, but it looks as if Henrietta isn’t worried about spoiling our party.”

“Simon, behave yourself or I’ll insist you call me Lady Huntingdon.” The countess was dressed in a glittering black evening gown with sapphire satin trim that dropped at the shoulders and showed off her ample bosom. Her diamond tiara was twice the size of Adeline’s and certainly represented her elevated status.

“What did the note say exactly, Papa?” Addie asked wondering what she might have done to put him off.

“He just said he didn’t think he was fit for our company right now and isn’t sure if he will be for the remainder of the voyage.”

“Oh dear, I’m afraid that was my fault.” Lady Huntingdon said patting Addie’s arm apologetically. “He must have been distraught that I made him laugh while he’s still grieving.”

“Do you really think so?” Addie asked still concerned. Imagining Jack all alone with nothing to do but consider a future without Clara was not how she wanted to picture him.

“Give the poor boy some time.” Simon said tucking into the sumptuous dinner of roast duckling and sirloin of beef. “After my Maggie died, I was despondent for several years. Even now I still miss her.” He grew quiet, setting his utensils down. “Your mother was the love of my life, just like Clara was Jack’s. But Jackson is young and has no children to keep her memory strong.” He reached over and squeezed Addie’s hand affectionately. “He’ll come back to us soon enough, my dear.”

“I can’t believe a handsome and wealthy young man like Jackson Bradley will remain unattached for very long.” Henrietta chimed in as she sipped her wine. “But if it was a love match, like you and Margaret, who knows how long he’ll be in mourning. What has it been for you, Simon, nearly a decade? Do you really think your wife would have wanted you to spend the rest of your days alone?”

“I’m not alone, I have Adeline.” Papa grumbled taking a flakey roll and spreading a thick layer of fresh butter on it. “Besides, what would you know about mourning, Henrietta? Lord Huntingdon is barely cold in his grave and you are already looking for his replacement.”

“I beg your pardon, Mr. James, but life is for the living and the here and now is all any of us can count on.” Lady Huntingdon sniffed contemptuously as the waiter wheeled the dessert cart slowly amongst the diners. “Speaking of which, I think I’ll partake in one or two of those delightfully sinful creations.”

Adeline couldn’t help but smile at the countess’s joie de vive as she picked out her own dessert. A piece of cake that was five layers deep filled with creams and jams and frosted with a butter cream that had been colored a soft pink. She sank her fork into the soft yellow cake and closed her eyes as she tasted the raspberry and butter melt in her mouth.

“See, your daughter knows how to enjoy life’s little pleasures, even when she is facing an unknown future.”

“Adeline doesn’t have an unknown future.” Simon scoffed. “She will marry a peer and become a lady and live a life of aristocratic leisure. Just as you did, Henrietta.”

“Oh, Simon, you really think that is how it went? I know it’s been a very long time since we last met, but if you mean to compare the life I led to yours and Margaret’s, you may want to reconsider.”

“I recall it was just after I’d made my first small fortune and your father had finally deigned to consider me as a business partner in an investment. You were on your way to London, very much as Addie is now, and Maggie took an instant interest in you.” Papa smiled as he recalled that evening so many years ago. “Adeline was just a little girl and I think it was the first time that Margaret began to have aspirations of grandeur for our daughter.”

“Please don’t blame your misguided decision to force Adeline to marry a duke on to me.” Henrietta took a bite of her chocolate-painted éclairs with vanilla cream. “Margaret was simply tired of being treated like all the other nouveau riche at the time and she wanted to make sure Adeline did not suffer from the same social snubs.”

“Don’t pretend to know what my Maggie wanted.” Simon pushed his own dessert aside. “You were only friends for a few months. I was married to her for many wonderful years.”

“And it was a marriage of love, wasn’t it, Simon? Don’t you want the same for your daughter?”

Adeline’s knuckles were white from clenching her fork so tightly, as she shoved large bites of the cake into her mouth to keep from screaming in frustration. Why were these two bickering as if they were an unhappily married couple? Couldn’t they see that she was sitting right here and they were speaking about her as if her feelings didn’t even matter? They were behaving despicably and it was nearly more than she could tolerate. Why didn’t either of them ask her what
she
thought of her inevitable nuptials or what
she
wanted from her predetermined future?

Well, she would show her father by picking the weakest husband he could parade before her and then lead the snobbish titled gentleman around by his nose, making him dance to whatever tune she fancied. Adeline wondered if Papa knew that in her heart, what she really wanted was a husband like Jackson Bradley, and every duke or earl that he could manage an introduction with would be compared to a man who would only ever love his dead wife. If any Englishman she met could measure up even halfway next to Jack, it would have to be enough.

“Addie can choose her husband.” Papa blustered. “As long as he has a title, she is free to marry whomever she pleases. That—Lady Huntingdon—is what Margaret truly wanted.”

“And what do you want, Miss James?” Henrietta had pushed her half-finished éclairs aside and was enjoying her dessert wine. “A desperate duke? Or a tall, dark, and handsome ordinary man who doesn’t care about how big your dowry is?”

Both her father and Lady Huntingdon looked at her pointedly. Finally, they had taken note of her presence. Addie cleared her throat and set her fork down, deciding her thoughts might be best kept to herself. “I’ll be quite happy with a man who is kind and allows me some freedoms. That is all I require.”

“Freedoms?” The countess sounded confused. “For what purpose?”

“I like to give back to society.” Addie said with a coy look toward her father. She’d deceived him over the years concerning what she really did in her spare time.

“Adeline considers herself an advocate for the underprivileged. In New York she spent much of her time in the hospitals and orphanages donating her time and my money to help them make improvements. I imagine she will continue her good works once we arrive in London.”

“Well, that is lovely darling.” Lady Huntingdon set her napkin on the table. “And as long as your duke isn’t too terribly destitute, I’m certain he will approve. It is always good for appearances not to be stingy with the family fortune. By the by, I did happen to notice there is a quite handsome and eligible viscount aboard and the rumor is he’s in search of a rich wife.” She stood and held out her hand to Papa as he politely stood. “You might want to look for him in the Smoking Room, Simon. I’m sure he’d be more than pleased to make your acquaintance. Miss James, if you aren’t too busy tomorrow afternoon maybe we can meet up in the Ladies’ Writing room and then have tea afterwards.”

“Yes, I would like that very much.” Adeline meant it. Even though she’d been upset with her two elders and their ridiculous conversation earlier, Adeline wanted very much to build upon her friendship with Lady Huntingdon. She watched the countess leave the dining room and waited for her father to finish his drink.

“I’ll walk you back to the cabin, Addie, before I go to the Smoking Room for some cards.”

Back in her room, Adeline let Emily help her into bed. It had been a tedious evening made worse by Jack’s absence. Tomorrow she would send him a note to see if he wished for some company and express her desire to see him. She hoped he would allow it. It hurt to think about it, but this might be the last time she ever saw Jack. Once in Liverpool, he was headed to Berkshire to bury Clara while she and Papa would head to London then on to Paris for a month of shopping for a trousseau before coming back to England for the Season. Jack might already be on his way back to New York by the time she returned, unless of course he decided to stay in England, which created a whole different sort of quandary for her. Although Addie didn’t want to imagine a life where she would never see Jackson Bradley again, encountering him while married to another man seemed an equally unpleasant outcome.