Heaven Cent (12 page)

Read Heaven Cent Online

Authors: Piers Anthony

Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult

Marrow waded in, needing no change of form for this. He simply dropped to the bottom and walked.

The tunnel did continue under the water. There was dragon scent that Dolph's arthropod senses readily picked up, marking a channel deeper into the mountain. He led, swimming slowly near the bottom, while Marrow forged after. He had never been an arthropod before, whatever it was, but he found he liked this form; for one thing, he was having no trouble breathing the water. Not that he should, but after his experience with Mela, and the way her enchantment interfered with his water breathing, he had been a bit nervous.

Suddenly a host of little fish swarmed in. They circled Dolph and Marrow, eying them. Then the leader of the pack nudged his snout close to Dolph's antennae and demanded in fish talk: “Who are thou, roach-face? I recognize not thy shield of arms.”

Dolph was not a fish, so he found it difficult to understand the words, but he got the essence. There was something about the fish's attitude that annoyed him. Therefore he responded more gruffly than he might have. “Get out of my face before I chomp you, fish-eye.”

“Only dragons pass here unchallenged, bug-brain,” the fish asserted. “I demand of thee again, show thy colors.”

“Perhaps—” Marrow began.

“The only color I'll show you is the color of my teeth, fin-foot!” Dolph exclaimed angrily. Then he realized that in this form he didn't exactly have teeth. But he did have an armored mouth, and that was good enough.

The fish swelled up to its full diminutive size. “Know, O miscreant, that thou hast affronted Perrin Piranha, terror of the cave waters! Now shalt thou discover the consequence of thy folly.”

“—we should humor them,” the skeleton concluded, a bit late. “There is no point in antagonizing natives unnecessarily.”

Perrin and his fellow piranhas charged. They swarmed in around both Dolph and Marrow, their big mouths gaping. They chomped whatever they reached.

But Dolph was thoroughly armored, and Marrow was all bone. Dogfish liked to chew bones, and had tough teeth for it, but these were not dogfish. “Ouch!” Perrin cried as he dented a tooth on one of Dolph's head spines. “Oooo!” others wailed as they crunched on Marrow's shins.

Dolph had a number of legs near his face. He used them to grab Perrin. “Now it is our turn,” he said, hauling the struggling fish up to his chitinous mouth. “Where would you like me to take the first bite: head or tail?”

He had hoped to cow the obnoxious fish. He was disappointed. “Go ahead, bite my head off, varlet!” Perrin said boldly. “Thou shallst have no satisfaction of me! I spit on thy snoot!” And indeed he did spit, though it was ineffective in the water.

Dolph was young, and had not had a great deal of experience in life. But he had spent many, many hours watching the great events depicted in the Tapestry. He recognized bravery when he saw it. This little fish might be obnoxious, but he had a certain redeeming quality of character.

“It might be better—” Marrow began.

“Right,” Dolph said. The Tapestry had educated him in this respect too. "Perrin, you are a worthy enemy. Therefore I release you, that we may oppose each other again with honor, at some future time.” He let go.

The fish hovered a moment, not entirely surprised. “What be thy name, then?”

“Prince Dolph of Xanth.”

“A prince! Then doth that figure! I bid thee adieu, till that future encounter.” The fish swam away, and all his troop went with him.

“That was well handled,” Marrow said.

Dolph experienced a surge of pleasure. The skeleton's compliments did not come often, but that was only part of it. Mostly it was because he knew the compliment was deserved. He had for once handled a situation properly.

The cave rose, and they came to another dry section. Dolph swam to the surface of the water and waited. Marrow stepped out, then put down his bone hand and lifted Dolph clear. Then Dolph resumed the glowworm form. Marrow lifted him to the eye socket. They were back in business, afoot and with a light.

Then a host of dark shapes swarmed down at them, much as the fish had. They turned out to be bats.

“Ho, varlet!” the leader bat squeaked. “Halt and be recognized!”

Not again! Naturally the creature spoke in bat language, and Dolph was hard pressed to understand it. But to a degree all animal languages were connected, and as a glowworm he could make out the gist.

He wriggled out of Marrow's eye socket and became a big bat. “I am Prince Dolph of Xanth,” he said. “I come on private business, and request that you let me pass.” As a bat he had no trouble with the bat language, of course.

“A prince? Don't make me laugh!” And all the hovering bats burst into shrill laughter.

“I have identified myself,” Dolph said evenly, following the protocol as he understood it. “Who are you?”

“I am Brick Bat, and this is my battalion,” the bat replied. “We don't intend to let you pass, you faker. We rule this roost.”

“I suspect—” Marrow began.

“Ah, shut your face, you bag of bones!” Brick snapped.

“Look, we're trying to be polite,” Dolph said, wishing he didn't have to be.

“—that these animals are not going to be reasonable,” Marrow concluded.

“You bet we aren't, you animated spook!” Brick said. The bats and Marrow didn't seem to have any trouble understanding each other, though they spoke different languages. It occurred to Dolph that the creatures of the gourd might have a special ability to communicate, because they never could tell into what creature's bad dream they might be thrust.

Dolph's juvenile hope flared. “Does that mean we can bash them?”

“Our time is limited,” Marrow said. “We had better ignore them. But if they have the temerity to attack—”

Dolph wasn't sure what “temerity” meant, but—

“Attack!” Brick Bat cried. Immediately the battalion swarmed in, biting.

That saved Dolph the trouble of inquiring about the word. He assumed a form he had practiced long before, in the dusky towers of Castle Roogna. He became a vampire bat. He flew at the smaller bats, his fangs gaping. They scattered, terrified; they were not vampires, and the sight of this one affected them in much the way a charging ogre affected ordinary human folk.

Dolph enjoyed flying in the dark cave, using his high-pitched voice to locate the walls. It was just about as good as seeing with eyes and needed no light source. He would keep this form in mind, too; the bat was a good flier. He had forgotten how good!

Now they came to the dragon's nest. It was on a ledge high in the cave; only a flying creature could reach it. There was no way to miss it, for the floor of the cave beneath was mounded with cracked bones. Dolph had no trouble, of course, but Marrow was stuck below. It was hard to pick him out amidst all the inanimate bones.

“I can get the firewater opal,” Dolph piped. “Which one is it?” For as he landed on the rim of the great nest, he picked up the echoes of hundreds of gems.

“It should have a fiery and liquid gleam,” Marrow said.

“I can't hear the gleam!”

“You had better bring me up there,” Marrow said. “I can see in the dark, so should have no problem.”

Dolph flew down to the cave floor, assumed ogre form, and heaved the skeleton up and into the nest. He was about to return to bat form, when his gross ogre ears heard something.

“He's coming, he's coming!” the bats were chanting. “He'll crunch your stupid bones to bits, to bits!”

Oops! “I think we're in trouble,” Marrow remarked from above. “You had better distract the dragon, while I search for the opal. There are so many gems here, it may take a while.”

Distract the dragon! Dolph dreaded the notion. Why had Draco returned so soon? It would have been so much better if they could have escaped quietly with the opal; the dragon might never have noticed mat it was missing.

Now he heard a hissing, as the dragon forged through the water. No doubt about it now, flying dragons could swim when they chose to! But how did they keep their fire when they got all wet?

He heard the creature splashing at the surface. His ogre eyes saw Draco's nose glowing. That was it: he held his breath! It surely did not take the dragon long to pass through the water, and the stifled fire would be no problem for that little time.

“Gonna getcha!” the bats chorused. “Gonna getcha, gonna getcha!”

Well, Dolph had planned to bluff the dragon; now was his chance. What form would be best? He decided to make it large but credible; if the dragon saw a figure too big to have come through the tight entrance, he would know it wasn't a real monster, and therefore might realize that it was inexperienced. The biggest monster that could have come through the tunnel was a serpent, because its cross section was small though its body could be massive.

Dolph became a giant serpent, with phenomenal fangs. He lifted his head and issued a horrendous hiss as the dragon cleared the water. That should put the creature on notice; Dolph was almost scaring himself!

“The fish told me there was an intruder,” Draco growled in dragon talk, which was similar to serpent talk; they were two branches of the great family of reptile languages. “But they said it was a bone man and an armored fossil. I think I am dealing with a form changer, here.”

So much for the concealment of his nature! But maybe he could still bluff through. Dolph hissed again and slithered boldly forward, lifting his fangs.

“Let us just find out of what you are made,” Draco said, sounding distressingly unworried. He spread his wings and launched into the air. He looped once, then angled down at Dolph's head. He fired a searing bolt.

Dolph whipped his head aside. That was too close! He struck at the dragon's body, but was far too slow; Draco was past and away, leaving Dolph's fangs to snap on air.

“A bit clumsy, aren't we,” Draco remarked as he looped back for another shot.

Dolph realized that this was a losing form. He was more massive than the dragon, and his jaws could crush the dragon's body if they connected. But he was slower and clumsier; he would never catch the dragon before getting badly burned.

He changed back to ogre form. “Me bash in flash!” he roared in ogre talk.

Draco was already coming in for the second pass. Dolph swung a hamfist at his snout. His ogre form was more practiced than his giant serpent form, so the fist came across more swiftly and accurately than the dragon expected. It was Draco's turn to duck out of the way as the fist smoked by him. He careened down close to the floor, and almost into the water before regaining control.

Dolph stomped after the dragon, following up his advantage. He could tell exactly where the dragon was because of the glow of fire at the snoot. But Draco flew up out of reach.

Well, there was a way to handle that. Dolph tromped over to the section beneath the nest and scooped up a handful of bones. He hurled them at the dragon.

The bones turned out to be too light and irregular to make good missiles. But he rummaged in the darkness and found a few animal skulls. These were better. He waited until Draco came in for a fire run, and heaved a skull directly at the glow.

But this time the dragon was ready. He swerved just enough to let the skull go by, then fired. Dolph had to jump, because even an ogre was not tough enough to withstand such a burn.

He hurled another skull, but the dragon wriggled in the air, avoiding it. Draco was simply too mobile for the ogre; he had the freedom of the entire cave, while the ogre was confined to the floor. Sooner or later Dolph would get singed or toasted, and then he would be in real trouble. It was turning out to be more difficult to handle even this small dragon than he had anticipated.

Of course all he needed to do was to distract Draco until Marrow found the firewater opal; then he could change to some fireproof form and go home.

“What's that in my nest?” Draco growled, spying Marrow.

Oops! Now the distraction would have to improve, or Marrow would be toasted. The skeleton could withstand fire, but if Draco followed it up with a good bone-crunching, that could be bad. Dolph had to step up the pace.

He would have to tackle Draco in the air. He became a griffin. Griffins were fine fliers and fine fighters, and they could see well at night. Because this griffin was about twice the mass of the dragon, he had the advantage. He took off, uttering a great challenging squawk.

Draco spun about in the air, readying his shot of fire, but Dolph dodged and angled in, as adroit in air as his foe. He reached for Draco with his talons. The moment he got hold of the dragon, he would stab him with his beak, and that would be the end.

Draco whipped his snout around, blowing out fire. It was a sustained blast; it swung across in an arc to intersect Dolph's position. Dolph dived, but the line of fire followed; he could not outrace it.

Close to the floor, he became a large land dragon. He landed with a whomp that jarred him. But now he had his own fire, and was armored against fire, as fire-breathers had to be. The fire touched him and did not hurt him; instead it helped him warm up his own furnace.

Now he oriented, pumped his bellows, and let fly a bolt twice as fierce as Draco's. But it missed, for Draco had cleared out the moment he noted the new form.

Dolph stalked him, but without avail. Draco knew his cave, and could dodge endlessly. He kept disappearing behind a bank of stalagmites, then reappearing to blast at Dolph's tail. The tail was not well armored; those sallies hurt!

This just wasn't doing it. Despite Dolph's advantage of size and firepower, Draco still was getting the better of it. If Dolph made any mistake, he would lose.

He would have to make it even in every respect, by matching Draco's own type. Dolph became a firedrake.

Now two almost identical dragons confronted each other. Dolph fired a jet of flame at the other, but Draco dodged it readily—and sent a return blast that heated Dolph's tail. Ouch!

He quickly discovered that Draco's lifetime experience in this form gave him a considerable tactical advantage. Their physical equipment might be the same, but Draco's reflexes were perfectly attuned to his capacities, while Dolph had to figure things out pretty much for the first time. He was no match for the dragon in this form, either.

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