Heaven bucked, bowed his back, and shouted as he came. He pulled at the headboard as Murdock sucked him all the way down his throat. His brain had scattered to the four corners as Murdock released his cock, pulled his fingers free, and entered Heaven.
“Mine.” Murdock locked eyes with him as his hands skated up Heaven’s arms that were still clinging to the headboard and grabbed his wrists. His thighs pushed Heaven’s legs up, snapping his hips seductively as his cock made love to Heaven’s body. Heaven tried to lower his eyes. The intensity was too much.
“Don’t.”
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Heaven looked once again into Murdock’s gray eyes, seeing his very existence in them. A sense of euphoric utopia settled inside of him as Heaven cried out, coming again.
Murdock’s hands tightened on Heaven’s wrists as he started to slam his cock harder. “My love, my soul, my forever.” Murdock threw his head back and called to the gods as he came. He knocked Heaven into the headboard with such force that Heaven’s neck crooked.
“Sorry.” Murdock pulled Heaven away and laid him gently onto the pillows. Heaven didn’t have the energy to even care.
* * * *
“I have a surprise for you.”
Heaven smiled as Murdock entered their bedroom. “And what would it be?”
“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you.” Heaven watched as Murdock went over to the dresser drawer and pulled a scarf out. “Turn around.”
“Bondage. You kinky bastard,” Heaven teased.
“Good idea, but that’s not what this is for.” Murdock tied it over Heaven’s eyes then led him carefully down the stairs and outside. His curiosity was making him excited when Murdock placed him in the truck. After about fifteen minutes the truck came to a stop and the motor cut off.
“No peeking.”
“I won’t, promise.” Heaven felt around until he grabbed the handle to the door. It came open and Murdock pulled him out.
“Be careful, baby.” Murdock held both of his hands as he led him.
“Step up.”
Heaven did. “I can’t take the suspense anymore. Show me already.” Heaven was dying to rip the scarf from his eyes. What kind of surprise was this far from home?
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“I guess I’ve tortured you enough.”
Heaven stumbled at the words. An image of Murdock screeching the strangest sound came to mind.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
Heaven pulled the scarf from his eyes. “You. I remember those words. I also have an image of you holding my head and making the weirdest sound.”
Murdock smiled and kissed Heaven. “I do not make weird sex sounds, and I remember that night very clearly. It was the best blow job of my life.”
Heaven blushed. “Really?”
“A guy remembers something like that.” Murdock grabbed Heaven’s shoulders and spun him around. “Surprise.” Heaven tilted his head sideways. “It’s a barber shop.” He stared at the boarded-up building with curiosity. Why would Murdock show him a barber shop?
“I’m aware it’s a barber shop. But the surprise is that it’s yours.” Murdock wrapped his arms around Heaven’s waist, his chin resting on Heaven’s shoulder.
“Uh, thanks?” Heaven didn’t know what to think.
“Okay. I can see your enthusiasm here, so let me explain. You’re a cosmetologist. You cut hair, my hair needs cutting. The pack could use some, too. Anything jumping out at you?” Heaven searched his memory.
A cosmetologist?
“Not at the moment. Sorry.”
“Don’t be. Until you regain your memory, we can work on fixing the place up. But just to let you know, I will be with you the whole time. I’m not letting you out of my sight again.”
“Okay. I really do appreciate this.” He owned his own business?
How cool was that? He turned in Murdock’s arms and hugged the wolf for his thoughtfulness. Heaven was sure once he regained his memory he would be excited.
“Come on. I have the key.”
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“Don’t you mean
crowbar
?” Heaven pointed to the boards on the windows.
“Very funny.” Murdock pulled him in for a kiss before releasing him and extracting a key from his pocket. Heaven followed him in.
The place needed a major scrub job and some new paint. The plus side was the mirrors were intact and the chairs weren’t in bad shape.
With a lot of elbow grease and fresh paint, the place had great potential.
“I know it isn’t a pretty sight right now, but—” Heaven kissed him silly. “It’s perfect.” What do you say to a guy that buys you a business? Thank you just didn’t seem to fit. He wished he could feel more excitement about it, but the memory just wasn’t forthcoming.
“Aw geez, you’re making me blush.” His mate actually did blush, and what a sight that made. Heaven was getting turned on, his cock waking up and taking notice. Too bad the place was too filthy to roll around in. Maybe Murdock could fuck him against the wall?
“Now who’s being a smart-ass?” Heaven teased. His hand shot out and grabbed the back of one of the chairs as a wave of dizziness seized him.
“What is it, Heaven?” Murdock grabbed Heaven around his waist, a look of concern in his eyes.
“I just need to sit down.” The chairs were dusty, but they would do. Heaven felt bile rise to the back of his throat. What the hell was wrong with him?
“Come on, let’s get you home.” Murdock helped him stand and walked him out.
“The place really is nice. Thank you.”
“You can thank me later.” Murdock smiled evilly at him.
“Perv.” Heaven smiled as he climbed into the truck.
“Are you hungry? We could stop at the diner.” His mate held the door open as Heaven buckled himself in.
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“No. I’m fine. Just a little dizzy.” Heaven scrambled to release the belt in time to jump from the truck and vomit. With an unsteady hand, he wiped his mouth, feeling the need to scrub it.
“That’s it. I’m calling the doc.” Murdock gently pulled Heaven up and sat him back in the truck.
* * * *
Murdock paced back and forth in the bedroom as the doctor examined Heaven. “Shifters don’t get sick, so what’s wrong with him?”
“I took blood samples. Right now, I would say he needs rest and nourishment. Until I run his blood work, I won’t know.”
“Thanks.” Murdock shook the doctor’s hand.
“I’ll let you know my results as soon as I get them.” The doctor grabbed his black bag and left the room.
“How are you feeling, baby?”
“Like roadkill. Feel like scraping me up?” Heaven smiled weakly.
Murdock crawled into bed next to his mate. “You look beautiful.”
“You’re just saying that because you want some booty.” Heaven laughed then began to cry.
“Why are you crying?” Murdock asked in a panicked voice.
“I don’t know.” Heaven wailed.
“Should I go get doc before he leaves?” His mate got up and started to cross the room.
“No, I’m fine.” Heaven sniffed then laughed. “I think I’m losing my mind.” A rollercoaster of emotions were barraging him. He couldn’t tell if he was happy or sad. It was like having a psychotic moment.
“Normally I would disagree, but you do seem…off.”
“Well, fuck you very much,” Heaven snapped at him. He slapped a hand over his mouth and stared wide-eyed at his mate.
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“Uh, okay. I’m going to go downstairs and get you some juice and a sedative.”
“I don’t need a sedative. I swear I’m fine.”
“The sedative is for me.”
Heaven watched as his mate left. He curled up in bed and wondered what the hell could be wrong with him.
* * * *
Murdock poured a large glass of orange juice for Heaven. He was worried about his mate. No one knew exactly what those sick bastards had done to him, so this illness was more worrisome to him than he let on.
“How is he?”
“I’m not sure,” Murdock answered Maverick as he made Heaven a sandwich. Maybe some fruit would help.
“Come see me once you’re done taking care of him. I want to get that fucking lab closed down and Heaven’s files. We need to know what they did to him.” Maverick snarled.
“They fucking turned him into a freak,” Murdock snapped. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Alpha.”
“Apology accepted. You haven’t dealt with any of this, have you?”
He shook his head. “I don’t have time to. Heaven needs me, so falling apart isn’t an option.”
“If you don’t deal with it soon, you will take it out on your mate.
Go for a run. We’ll watch over him.”
“All right. Let me take him his juice.”
“I’ll do that. Go.”
Murdock handed the glass to Maverick and walked out of the kitchen door. His mind rebelled against the idea of leaving his mate upstairs, but he knew his Alpha was right. He hadn’t dealt with what happened.
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Instead of shifting, he walked to the barn. The horses weren’t in there, so Tank and George must be out riding. What he did find was Lewis sitting in there.
“Do you mind some company?”
Lewis leaned back against one of the stalls. “Nope.” Murdock shoved his hands in his pockets, looking around at the barn Tank and Jason had constructed. For wolves, they did a damn good job. He took a seat on the bench by the back wall.
“How’s Heaven?” Lewis asked.
“Fucked up.” Murdock blew out a breath and leaned back. “I keep thinking that if we don’t talk about it, then it never happened.”
“Fool’s way of thinking.” Lewis sat down next to him. “It’s called denial. Believe me when I tell you I know what I’m talking about.”
“You were an alcoholic. This is different.” How could the mate even compare the two? Having a drinking problem was a far cry from being kidnapped and experimented on.
“I still am. It’ll never go away. I deal with it one day at a time.” Murdock scrubbed his hands over his face. “I’m just so damn angry. I failed my mate, and that’s inexcusable.”
“I do recall you being shot twice. Just the fact that you lived through that, and then went on a two-week hunt seems pretty incredible to me. You brought him home. Be thankful.” Murdock shot up. “I failed him! He’s lying in our bed upstairs with a fucking womb sewn inside of him. How the hell am I supposed to be thankful for that? Do you know the guilt that’s eating away at me for not stopping those bastards from taking him?” Murdock slammed his fist into the wall. “I wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares of Heaven dying from what they did to him. I feel so goddamned helpless. I don’t know what to do for him.” Murdock shouted.
“You’re doing the only thing you can, being there for him,” Lewis offered. “At least you got him back. Worse things could have
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happened to him. You could be burying him. So, yeah, be fucking thankful.”
Murdock’s heart clenched at the image of standing at Heaven’s grave. His brain was splitting in half at the horrific things his mate must have gone through. “Fuck!” Murdock screamed. “He was given to me by fate, and I couldn’t protect him!” He punched the wall repeatedly, screaming out his rage. “I didn’t fucking protect him.”
“Can you hold him in your arms? Make love to him? Tell him you love him? Then you’re one lucky bastard,” Lewis shouted back.
Murdock collapsed to the floor, his tears flowing unchecked. He pressed the palms of his hands against his forehead as he openly cried.
His Heaven had gone through hell, and Murdock couldn’t protect him.
“If you keep laying the blame on your shoulders, then you’ll be of no help to Heaven. Let it go. Focus on what you still have.” Lewis gave his advice then left Murdock to his self-pity. He put his elbows on his knees and rested his face in his hands. The primal need to make the people pay for what they did to his mate rose up inside of him. If it took until the last breath he took, he was going to see all of them die.
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Chapter Nine
Heaven stared out of his bedroom window as Murdock walked out of the barn. He knew he was a freak now. His mate was probably regretting bringing him home. With the lost memories, he wasn’t sure how their relationship was before, but he could feel the tension building between them.
Murdock may not admit it, but Heaven knew. His mate was slowly unraveling, and it was all Heaven’s fault. Heaven punched the wall with the side of his fist. Why was he feeling this way? Murdock loved him. There was no doubt about that. So what was with the glum feelings?
Heaven turned to look over at the corner of his room. Maverick sat there quietly watching him. “There has to be a way to get it out of me.” He wanted to be normal again.
Maverick shrugged. “Doc says he doesn’t want to chance it.”
“Yeah, well, he’s not the one with something in him nature didn’t give me at birth.”
“At least it’s not an alien trying to burst out of your chest.” The skin between Heaven’s eyes crinkled as he stared at the six nine lunatic. “I mean no disrespect, but has anyone ever told you you’re nuts?”
Maverick waved his hand at Heaven. “Cecil tells me I’m nuts all the time, but normalcy is overrated. Come, join the dark side.” Heaven began to laugh. Things were just too damn bizarre. If he was going to lose his mind, why not have the company of a giant?
The Alpha seemed to have fun with it.
“Do I bring my ruby red slippers?”
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Maverick chuckled. “And your little dog, too.” Heaven shook his head. “You’re pretty cool for an Alpha.”
“Don’t let that get out. I have an image of a badass to maintain.”
“Believe me. No one can forget that.” Heaven turned around as Murdock came in. He studied his mate, scented the blood then saw it on his hands. What exactly had he been doing out there?
“I think my mate needs to tag along as well,” Heaven said to Maverick but kept watching Murdock.
“And where am I going?” Murdock asked as he pulled Heaven into his arms.
”Crazy.”
“Sounds fun. I’ll go pack.”
“Snuggle later. We need to talk,” Maverick said to Murdock as he got up and walked out.