Read Held & Pushed (2 book bundle) Online
Authors: Kimberly A. Bettes
But
instead of the door rising, it stayed put. My shoulder however, was a different
story. I’d jerked suddenly with all my strength on a heavy door that hadn’t
budged. My shoulder now ached and burned. I’d obviously torn something. Adding
to my new list of miseries was my chest. The scab that had formed on the X had
pulled apart in my failed attempt to open the door. I could feel something
running down my chest and abdomen. Blood or pus, I wasn’t sure. But it didn’t
matter. This close to freedom, none of it mattered.
Realizing
that this door was locked, I quickly went back into the house through the
laundry room. I hated to, but I had no choice. There was no other door in the
garage and I had to get out, even if it meant going back in.
Quietly, I
stepped into the kitchen. I looked at the chair in which I always sat and
shuddered as a chill ran down my spine. I looked to the hallway, checking for
Ron. He wasn’t there.
As quickly
and quietly as possible, I crept through the kitchen. Where the kitchen and the
hallway met, I turned, heading into the living room. I could see the front door
and I focused on it, making it all I saw.
Over my
raspy breathing, I heard nothing. That is, until Ron said my name.
I froze,
my breath caught in my lungs. My mind raced, taking in many things at once.
Closer to the kitchen than to the living room door, I felt my best chance was
to get back to the chair. If I rushed toward the door, I’d never make it.
Especially if it was locked.
Quickly, I
retreated back into the kitchen where I sat in the chair.
Just as my
ass hit the chair, Ron’s voice boomed from the hallway. I turned to face him.
He was standing in his room, head and shoulders leaned through the doorway and
into the hall.
“Nicole? Why
didn’t you answer me?”
Controlling
my breathing as best as I could, I said, “I didn’t hear you.”
I thought
I saw his eyes narrow with suspicion, but from this distance, it might’ve been
my imagination. I couldn’t be sure.
“I asked
you what you wanted for lunch.”
“Oh. A
sandwich is fine,” I said, trying my best to sound normal.
“Ok. I’ll
be there in a second.”
He
disappeared back into the room and I quickly slipped my hand back into the
cuff. I fought every instinct to do so, but I managed. After all, I’d spent
months trying to pull my hand free, waiting for that one moment when it slid
free, and that moment had finally arrived. Only here I was, having to slide my
hand back into the cuff.
My
freedom, having only lasted a minute or so and not even being actual freedom,
had made me feel alive for the first time in months. Adrenaline was coursing
through my veins, giving me a rush that no heroin junkie had ever achieved. I
really was hopeful that I would make it through. How could I not be with the
end so near in sight?
Ron came
in and made us each a ham sandwich and a glass of iced tea.
Sitting
across the table from him knowing that I could get free was intense. I had to
make sure to appear that all was normal, but I was excited. My heart was
pounding painfully in my chest. My hand trembled, but I didn’t think he
noticed. I kept it hidden in my lap as much as possible. My only real worry was
that in my excitement, my cheeks would flush and he would be suspicious.
Fortunately,
he had excitement of his own that kept him from noticing such things. I
listened to him drone on about his monster piece, but all I could think about
was opening the front door and running away, running back to my husband and
son.
To keep
myself calm, I didn’t give much thought to the reunion. I could only think
about one step at a time. Right now, the first step was getting through lunch.
After that, I had to get out of the house. When I was away from Ron and safe, I
could think about other things. To be sidetracked now would be the end.
When we
were finally finished with lunch, Ron washed our glasses. He then turned to me.
“Do you
need anything else?”
I shook my
head, afraid that if I opened my mouth, my voice would crack and give me away.
“Okay. I’m
going back to my room. You’ll be happy to know, Nicole, that in no more than an
hour, my novel will be finished. And this is only the beginning.” He smiled as
he walked toward me. “We’re destined to be together forever now, Nicole.”
My blood
ran cold.
“This book
is the tie that binds us.
Forever.
I can’t wait for
you to read it.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead. I fought back the urge
to vomit, but I took some comfort in knowing that he would never be able to
kiss me again.
I listened
to the sound of his footsteps retreating down the hall over the sound of my
furiously beating heart. My palms were wet with nervous sweat and trembling in
anticipation.
When I
once again heard the sound of clicking keys, I glanced over my shoulder to make
sure I didn’t see Ron. Then, I yanked my wrist from the cuff and stood on
wobbly knees.
Without
hesitation, I headed for the living room. But then I stopped.
I quickly and
quietly walked back across the kitchen to the refrigerator. I reached up and
grabbed Mason’s teddy bear. Ron had stolen it from my baby and brought it here,
sitting it atop the refrigerator as a constant reminder to me that he could
take away my family at any time. There was no way I was leaving it here.
Tucking the bear under my arm, I made my way back to the living room, where I
raced to the front door.
First, I
tried the knob. It was locked. I unlocked it. Then, I turned the knob and
pulled on the door. It didn’t open. I realized the deadbolt was locked. I
unlocked it and once again pulled on the doorknob. The door opened.
I burst
through the open doorway and into the crisp fall air.
As fast as
I could, I ran down the front steps and across the lawn, my bare feet pounding
the cold, hard earth as I went.
There was no
house to the right of Ron’s, only an empty lot. To the left was an abandoned
house, windows and doors boarded over. Directly across the street, I saw no
vehicles and assumed no one was home. But the house next to that one had a car
in the driveway so I ran to it. With my left hand, I held down the doorbell
button, and I pounded the door with my right hand. I kept this up until the
door opened.
One Year Later
I walk out
of the store with a bag of groceries in each hand and head for my SUV. I’m
halfway down the row of cars when a van pulls into the spot beside my vehicle.
I freeze. I wait a moment, but no one emerges from the van. I turn around and
go back to the front of the store where I sit on a bench and wait forty-five
minutes for the van to leave.
Seeing no
vehicle parked around mine now, I walk all the way down the row of cars until I
reach my SUV. I put the sacks of groceries in the backseat, looking around to
make sure no one is close to me. I then get behind the wheel and immediately
lock the doors. Only then can I breathe a sigh of relief.
I drive
straight home, checking my mirrors to verify no one’s following me. Our new
house is only a few blocks from the grocery store, so I’m home in minutes.
Before getting out of my SUV, I look around to see if anyone is nearby. Seeing
no one other than the elderly gentleman next door sitting on his porch, I get
out and quickly grab the groceries and head inside the house, immediately
locking the front door behind me.
Putting
the groceries away, I realize the milk is warm and the butter is soft. It’s not
the first time I’ve had groceries go bad while waiting for a vehicle to pull
away from mine. But I can’t help it. I’d rather have food ruin than risk being
kidnapped again.
***
I stand at
the side of the baby bed looking down at my son. He’s a beautiful baby. He lies
there, wiggling and cooing, and he reminds me of Mason at that age.
As if he
can hear me thinking of him, Mason giggles in his bed. I turn around and smile
at him and he closes his eyes, finally submitting himself to sleep.
I look
back at my new son, Austin, and I can see no traces of Ron.
At
least not yet.
I’m hoping I never do. I’m hoping against hope that he’ll
have all of my features and habits, and that he won’t grow up to be a serial
killer. I’m not sure that’s how it works, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
Taking the
baby monitor with me, I leave their room and walk into the family room. The
drawer in the entertainment center catches my attention, calling out to me as
it always does. This time, I give in and walk over to it.
As I watch
my hand reach out for the handle, I ask myself if I’m ready. Is Dr. Brown
right? Is it time to face it so I can move on?
I pull
open the drawer and there it sits, staring up at me just as it has for the last
three weeks, waiting patiently for the day I can finally bring myself to read
it. Apparently, that day is today.
Reaching
in and picking up the book, I tremble. Not just my hand, but my whole body
shudders slightly. I close my eyes and tell myself
it’s
over, even though I know it isn’t. How can it be over when he knows where I
live? We’ve moved four times in the past year, and yet Ron still knew where to
send the book. I don’t think it’ll ever be over. As long as he’s out there, it
won’t be over. And he is out there, somewhere, managing to evade police.
The book
feels heavy in my hand.
I carry it
with me as I perform my nightly routine of checking the alarm and every window
and door lock in the house. Satisfied that the house is a fortress, I walk into
my bedroom, where Wade is already in bed reading a magazine.
He smiles
at me and I smile back.
I carry
the book with me as I walk around the bed. Wade sees it. His smile fades a
little, but he says nothing. I can feel him watching me as I crawl into bed
beside him and turn on the lamp on my nightstand.
I smile at
him and kiss him on the cheek to let him know
it’s
okay. We’ve been talking about this for three weeks. We both knew I was going
to read it. We just didn’t know when.
Once I’ve
settled in, I grasp the book firmly in both hands, trying to hide the
trembling.
Wade
places his magazine on his nightstand and scoots closer to me, putting his arm
around my shoulders for support.
I close my
eyes and take a deep breath, hold it, and let it out slowly. I open my eyes and
look at the book.
Across the
top of the cover in big, bold white letters is the word HELD. Across the
bottom, also in big white letters, was his name, R.D.
Redwine
.
Between the title and the author’s name, is a picture that turns my stomach.
It’s a basement. A mattress lies on the floor, a pair of handcuffs dangling off
the edge. I know this place well. I hid rotten dog food under that mattress. I
spent a lot of time wearing those handcuffs. And the things I saw in that
basement…
I shudder
and fight away the tears that want to come.
I run my
fingers across the raised letters of the title and take a deep breath. Unsure
I’m ready, I open the book.
The
dedication page reads simply: To Nicole.
At the
bottom of the page, Ron has handwritten a message to me in red ink.
The tie that binds us.
Forever.
My eyes
fill with tears, but I blink them away. I have no doubt that I’ll cry more than
enough when I’m finished reading this horrible book, this masterpiece of a
madman.
I turn the
page and begin reading.
‘She squinted as she stepped out of the store and into the glare
of the bright sunlight…’
The End
Ron
Redwine
is an up-and-coming author, a man whose lifelong dream of achieving celebrity
status in the literary world is finally becoming a reality. But Ron isn’t only
a writer. He’s also a sadistic serial killer who kidnaps, tortures, and murders
women in his basement.
Nicole Lee is a beloved
wife and mother. She’s also the only woman who has ever escaped Ron’s clutches.
After being held in captivity for nearly a year, she found a way out, a way to
be free once again and go back to her life. Only she can’t. The life she knew
before her abduction is gone. Separated from her husband and son, Nicole is
psychologically broken. She spends months in a mental health facility trying to
put the past behind her so she can return to her family.
Upon her release, Nicole
hides herself away in a fleabag motel where she wrestles with her demons alone.
When an interview on the local news advertises the last two stops on Ron’s
latest book tour, she becomes enraged. Furious that he’s able to live his life
happily while she’s reduced to an existence filled with guilt and despair, she
decides to take matters into her own hands.