Held & Pushed (2 book bundle) (9 page)

And that
wasn’t even the creepy part.

Worse than
watching him rape a dead woman, worse than him repeatedly saying my name while raping
a dead woman, was the fact that he stared at me the whole time. His eyes never
left mine while he defiled the woman he’d murdered so violently.

My skin
broke out in gooseflesh, my throat tightened, my stomach knotted, and my heart
pounded.

He got up
from her and walked past me without saying anything. I watched him walk slowly
up the stairs. When he closed the door behind him, I released the breath I’d
been holding. I noticed I was crying, so I gave in and let it go, crying harder
than I’d ever cried before.

The
severity of the situation was starting to sink in on me. All thoughts of
controlling the situation were gone now. All hopes of being let go were gone
along with them. I wasn’t capable of handling someone like him. I had no
training in dealing with people with mental problems. I don’t know if anyone
had the training it would take to deal with Ron. He scared me more than
anything I’d ever encountered, either in real life or in my nightmares.

As I fell
asleep, I was grateful for the sweet release sleep brought to me. Even if my
dreams were nightmares, it’d be less frightening than my reality.

I woke
some time later to the sounds of Ron beating Stephanie’s lifeless body, but
when I rolled over, I was alone in the basement. Well, alone with Stephanie’s
body. Ron wasn’t in the room. I must’ve been having a nightmare. The sad part
was the nightmare had been a reality just hours before.

When I escaped,
I was going to have to get two jobs to pay for the therapy I was going to need
to deal with this trauma.

The next
time I woke, it was to the loud clanging sound of what reminded me of metal
striking metal. I quickly sat up and scooted backward until I felt the cold wall
at my back. From there, I watched Ron work.

He had an
axe high above his head. I watched as he brought it down hard, slicing through
Stephanie’s outstretched arm near where it connected to her shoulder. I gasped,
but if he heard me, he ignored me and kept on chopping.
First
one arm, and then the other.
Then, he moved to her legs, chopping each
of them off close to the hip.

With each
strike of the axe came the sound of a snapping bone, followed by the clink of
the metal striking the concrete floor. Also with each strike of the axe, I
jumped and closed my eyes.

After
decapitating the torso, he tossed the axe to the floor and wiped his forehead
with the back of his hand.

He glanced
over at me and saw that I was watching him. “Dirty work,” he said.

I could
only nod stiffly.

After
unlocking the restraints of her wrists and ankles, he placed each of her limbs
in a separate black trash bag and tied it tightly. He did the same for her head
and torso, though the torso wasn’t as easy for him as the smaller pieces had
been.

Two by
two, he carried the bags up the steps while I watched in silence.

When all
the bags were gone from the basement, he returned. Exhausted, he sat on the
bottom step, facing me.

“Are you
afraid, Nicole?”

I wasn’t
sure what to say. Did he want me to be afraid? The wrong answer may be my
ticket to a trash bag, so I weighed my words carefully.

“I’m
afraid that you’ll end up not liking me enough to put me in a trash bag like
you did her.”

“Nonsense.
I told
you, I didn’t like her from the beginning. She wasn’t you. And you aren’t her.
As long as you don’t make the same mistakes as she did, you’ll be fine.”

“I’m
thirsty.
And hungry.”

He pointed
to the bowl of rotten dog food. “You have food right there. As for water, I’ll
get you a drink in a moment. I must rest now. I’m afraid I’m not as young as I
used to be.” He laughed. “That’s a silly expression, don’t you think? After
all, none of us are ever as young as we used to be. In fact, I’m not as young
as I was when I said that.” He laughed again, more to himself than anything.
Then, he said, “Tell me, Nicole. Did watching me with her stir up any feelings
of jealousy?”

I stared
at him, confused as to what he meant.

Seeing my
confusion, he elaborated. “I mean, were you jealous that I was being with her
in that way? Did you wish it were you underneath me?”

I felt
there was no right answer here. To say yes might make him rape me. To say no
might make him angry enough to use the poker on me. It was a no-win situation.
No matter what I said, I was certain it would be wrong. But I had to say
something, so I went with, “No.”

He shook
his head. “That’s a shame. But you know I wanted it to be you. I came to you,
needing to be with you in that way. And you denied me. What was I to do,
Nicole? I am only a man with manly desires. I have wants and needs. These are
things you must understand. You have a husband, after all. Surely, you know how
it works.”

“It’s
different with my husband.”

“Different?
How?”

“With him,
I want him just as much as he wants me.”

He thought
for a moment and then asked, “Are you saying that you don’t want me?”

Another trap.
Unsure of what to say, I said nothing.

“Nicole?”
he shouted. “Are you saying that you don’t want me?”

His voice
echoed off the walls of the basement. His eyes were getting that wild look to
them again.

Not
wanting to enrage him but not wanting to encourage him either, I said, “No.
At least not yet.”

He calmed
a little and asked, “What do you mean by not yet?”

“Well, I
haven’t known you that long. What kind of girl do you think I am? I can’t just
go around giving myself to every man who wants me, now can I? That would make
me no better than Stephanie.”

Completely
relaxed and back to the happy Ron that made a mean sandwich, he smiled and
nodded. “That’s my girl. In time, I’m sure you’ll grow to want me as much as I
want you. Then, it will be sweet.” He nodded at the spot where Stephanie’s body
had been. “Until then, I’ll need someone to fill in.”

Chapter
13

I watched
as Ron walked across the basement to a utility sink. Hanging on the wall beside
it was a yellow garden hose. He took it from its place, connected it to the
faucet, and turned on the water. He walked across the room to me, stopping a
few feet away from my mattress. I waited for him to come closer, but he didn’t.

“You
thirsty?” he asked.

I nodded.

He
unscrewed the nozzle from the end of the hose. The water came out and fell to
the floor in splatters.

“Come and
get it.”

Handcuffed
to the pipe, I couldn’t get far. I got up on my knees and leaned as far as I
could toward him. It wasn’t far enough. I leaned farther, causing great pain to
my right arm and wrist, which was twisted around behind me in an awkward position.
Had I not been so damn thirsty, I would’ve told him to shove that hose up his
ass.

He pulled
up on the hose quickly, creating an arc of water that hit my face. It was cold.
Shockingly cold.
I gasped, and then licked my lips,
getting all the water I could.

He
laughed. I didn’t.

Again, he
jerked up on the hose and splashed my face. Again, I licked the water from my
lips.

“Nicole,
if you want me to contain my passion for you, you really must stop acting so
provocatively. You’re exciting me.”

“Well maybe
if you’d just give me a drink of water, this wouldn’t be a problem. And if you
didn’t have me down here naked, maybe you could contain yourself more.”

Smiling,
he stepped forward and let me drink from the hose. I drank and drank until I
thought I would throw up. I wanted to drink more then, but he walked away,
taking the precious water with him.

He twisted
the nozzle back on the hose. Water came out, this time with pressure pushing
it. As he began spraying the floor, washing away Stephanie’s blood, I scooted
back against the wall. Drawing my legs up to cover my chest, I watched him
work.

“One of
the reasons I bought this house was the drain in the basement floor. Very
convenient, wouldn’t you say?”

I didn’t
answer.

“I’m sure
it’s there in case the washing machine overflows or leaks, but it is so handy
for washing away blood. This house has paid for itself many times over with
this drain. Money well spent.”

I watched
the dirt and blood slide across the floor and disappear down the drain. I
wondered if one day, a woman would sit handcuffed to this very pipe and watch
in fear as my blood swirled away down the drain.

I felt
drops of liquid fall from my face and hit my arm, and I wondered if it was
tears or the water he’d sprayed on me.

When he
was finished cleaning the floor, he brought the hose back to me. I quickly got
up on my knees again, begging for water. This time, when he unscrewed the
nozzle, he let the water pour down on me, running down my chin, my breasts, my
belly, and dripping onto the floor and the mattress.

He
squatted down in front of me and watched the water run over my chest. I didn’t
care. I was drinking as much as I could while what I couldn’t drink ran down my
body. If he wanted to watch, that was his problem.

Even when
he reached out and cupped my breast, I ignored him and continued to drink the
disgusting, rubbery tasting water.

Finally,
he stood up. “If I don’t find someone to fill in for you quickly, you’re going
to have to learn to want me.” He reached into his pants and adjusted himself
before turning and walking away, taking the hose back to its spot on the wall.

As he was
leaving the basement, he stopped at the foot of the mattress. “I’m going to
dispose of this trash. I’ll be back. It may be a while, though. Try to miss me
while I’m away.”

“Wait,” I
said quickly as he ascended the stairs. “Can I get a blanket?
And some food?
And water?
And a bucket to
use as a toilet?”

Halfway up
the steps, he turned to me. “That’s a lot of requests coming from a girl in the
basement. You can pee on the floor. I’ll wash it when I get back. You’ve got
food, Nicole. Eat that. As for the blanket, you should have enough nice
thoughts of me to keep you warm. And as for water, there’s a thunderstorm due
tonight or tomorrow. When it rains, water seeps into the basement. That should
hold you until I return. I’ll see you soon.” And with that, he disappeared into
the main floor, closing the door behind him.

Just how
long did he plan to be gone? At least a couple days from the way he talked.

I wanted
to cry. But I wouldn’t let myself until I’d thought through the situation I was
in now. If this bowl of rotten dog food was all I had to eat, it was going to
have to do.

Pulling
the bowl to me, I felt my stomach rumble. I wasn’t going to eat it yet. I was
just preparing for when the time came that I had to.

As
disgusting as it was, I reached in and began pulling out the maggots. One by
one, I pulled them from the bowl, placed them on the floor, and stomped them
with the heel of my foot. When the bowl was free of the white, wriggling worms,
I slid it aside. I sat back and looked around the dank room.

I felt
myself falling apart, and I did nothing to stop it. I cried, knowing I
shouldn’t. I should’ve conserved my energy and kept as much liquid in me as I
could.

But I couldn’t
stop myself from throwing a little pity party.

Chapter
14

I had no
way of knowing how long it was before Ron returned. It could’ve been several
hours. It could’ve been a couple of days. The minutes all ran together in the
basement with no way of telling time.

All I knew
for sure was that the things I’d had to do to survive were things I wasn’t
proud of doing.

I didn’t
want to lick the water off the concrete walls as the rain seeped in. But I did.
Until my tongue was raw from scraping it against the rough
concrete.

I didn’t
want to shit on the floor beside my bed. But I did.
Three
times.

I didn’t
want to eat that dog food. And I didn’t. That was still a line I wasn’t able to
cross. Though my stomach rumbled and I was weak, I held out. Ignoring the voice
in my head that shouted out for me to just close my eyes and eat it, I waited.
I still had hope that he would bring me food.

Turns out,
Ron did bring me something, but it wasn’t the food I was craving.

I woke to Ron
shaking me. When I opened my eyes, he smiled down at me. It took everything I
had, but I pushed myself up and sat with my back to the wall.

“Did you
miss me?” he asked, smiling.