"Sorry," she mumbled as she lightened her grip. "It's not that what you feel isn't real. I'm very sure it is. Certain people were created for each other and are destined to be together, but it's always more complicated than that. You've been different from the rest of us since you were brought to Hell. I thought you'd grow into your Demon. . .and you have," she added quickly as I tried to pull my hands from hers. "But there's more to you. Dad knows what it is, but my guess is that you will have to figure it out for yourself."
"So I can trust what I feel?"
"Yes," she said slowly. "But find out who you are first."
"Do you know more than you're telling me?" I asked.
"I wish. My visions aren't like movies. Sometimes I see faces and locations, but most of the time I have feelings. Dad helps me piece them together."
"But not everything comes true like you see it," I said, knowing she kept much of what she saw to herself for that very reason.
"True, which is why I don't advertise."
"So Hayden might not be my soul mate then," I said as a wave of depression washed over me.
"His name is Hayden?" Sloth hissed. Her demeanor went from sisterly to Demony in a hot second.
"Um. . .yeah. Do you know him?"
"Not sure," she answered too quickly. "I'm sure there are lots of Demons named Hayden."
It was my turn to pace. She'd gone quiet and I knew she was done talking. The cryptic nature of my family made me want to tear their heads off, followed by my own.
"If you're not going to talk I want you to leave," I told her.
She nodded and stood. "Just. . .be careful. Do you adhere to the notion of pre-destiny?"
I thought for a moment. I'd never actually considered it, but the answer came to me with clarity. "No. I believe we make our own. I will make my own."
"Remember that and choose wisely."
With that she disappeared and left me with a Hell of a lot to think about.
***
"How long have you known me?" I asked a confused Hayden.
In his worn jeans and faded t-shirt, he stood in the living room of my bungalow and filled the entire house with his power and size. Not to mention he looked as if he just walked off the cover of a magazine.
"Is this a trick question?" he asked as he leaned in for a kiss that I swiftly avoided.
"No. Well, maybe."
He sat down on the couch and rested his chin on steepled fingers as he watched me. "What exactly are you asking me?"
"Have you known me longer than a year?" His thoughtful expression made me uneasy.
"I have dreamt of you for eternity. I've seen your face and heard your laugh for more years than you could imagine and—yes, I've known you."
"Since I was a child?"
He nodded and waited.
I was torn between elation and fury. My emotions ran riotous in my head and I had no clue what I really felt.
"How old are you?"
"A bit older than you," he hedged and grinned sheepishly.
"Like fifty or a hundred years older?"
"Something like that," he said. "Does that scare you?"
"Isn't that a little pervy?"
He threw his head back and laughed. Hell, that was so unfair. He was so beautiful when he was joyous and I wanted to curl up next to him and trace his lips with my fingers.
"Um. . ." He struggled to regain his composure with little success. Patting the couch beside him, he gave me a sexy lopsided grin. "Sit, please."
I did, but I kept a respectable amount of distance between us so I didn't jump him.
"My dreams of you gave me the hope of a happily ever after—not that I necessarily deserve one, but it has kept me going for many years. When you live a long time the desire to end oneself occurs frequently." He paused and ran his hands through his hair. "The knowledge that one day I would find you is the only reason I'm still here."
This was far larger and more overwhelming than anything I could have imagined him saying. The thought of him destroying himself was unthinkable to me. I picked relentlessly at my fingernails as I wondered how much more I wanted to hear.
"Yes, I have watched you grow and I knew you were the one I had waited for, but I can guarantee you it was by no means
pervy
. Instinctually my need was to protect you. I would have never come into your life as a man until you were a fully grown woman. My love for you transcends physical desire. It's far more than a sexual need for you."
"So you're saying I'm not hot?" I teased and scooted closer. I was no longer angry or confused. I was awed and head over heels in love with someone who was in love with me. Fast? Yep, but not really if the pieces were put together.
"Hades," he hissed. "If you were any hotter Hell would cave in on itself. Keeping my hands still at the moment is more challenging that a lone Demon fighting an army of Angels."
His body was taut and his eyes flashed with desire. It took a massive amount of control on both our parts to not attack each other.
"What does bonding mean?" I asked. His quick intake of breath and his immediate move off the couch was exhilarating. The sheer fact that I affected him the same way he affected me was some powerful hoodoo.
"Bonding," he said as he backed farther away. "Means exactly as it sounds."
"I would be yours?"
"Yes. And I would be yours," he replied. "Forever."
The sexual tension in the room made my breath hitch and heat unfurl low in my belly.
"How do you bond?” I whispered as I watched him like prey.
"Sex," he replied just as quietly. "And blood exchange."
That was a little surprising—and gross. We were Demons, not Vampyres.
"At the same time?" That didn't make popping my cherry too appealing. I wrinkled my nose in disgust.
He heaved a sigh and chuckled. "No, but it has to happen within a week or so I'm told."
"So we do the nasty and then bite each other?" I wasn't quite as horny as I had been only moments ago.
"No. Hell no." He laughed and joined me again on the couch. I went willingly into his strong arms and laid my head on his chest. "I suppose if we were into kink we could do it that way, but a simple slice on our hands and a firm handshake will also work."
"Well, that's good to know. I'm not into massive amounts of pain," I muttered as I snuggled closer.
"There's a fine line between pleasure and pain, Dixie," he said in a voice that made my tummy flip with desire. "But biting and drawing blood doesn't really do it for me."
"Good to know," I quipped sarcastically.
"I want to bond with you more than mere words can describe, but I won't until you are ready to commit to what it truly means."
"So we're not doing the nasty today?" I ran my hands over his broad chest and reveled in the tingles that ran up my arms.
"First of all," he said as he gingerly removed my hands. "It will not be
nasty
when I make love to you. I will make love to you until you don't know your own name and then I will fuck you until you can't see straight. It will be perfect and you won't be able to walk for a week."
I was rendered speechless and the need to tear my clothes off was mindboggling. As I searched for my voice he moved off the couch and walked across the room.
"You're pretty cocky," I choked out. "Shit. No pun intended."
His laugh almost sent me over the edge into the land of not walking for a week. "It's taking all I own at the moment to be this close to you and not make you mine," he said gruffly. "I know that you would come to me willingly right now, but you still have a journey to take and I won't deny you that. I can't."
"My body feels like a heartbeat and I literally ache right now. So unless you have a ginormous bucket of ice water or you can morph into a disgusting troll, you'd better leave," I said in frustration.
"I have a better idea," he said as he held out his hand to me. "Let's fly."
I blew out a huge breath and grinned. "Yes. Let's fly."
Chapter 13
Time had moved far too swiftly and the thought of leaving Hayden made my heart hurt.
"Do you want to play baseball?" Hayden asked as we lounged on my couch in my bungalow. With only a day left before my deportment, we'd spent almost every waking moment together.
"Will baseball help me live?" I asked, confused. Possibly handling a bat?
"Not that kind. Another kind," he said in a voice that woke up all my yet to be used lady parts.
"Um. . .okay," I whispered.
"Now baseball is complicated, but with practice you could be a pro."
"Not really my goal," I murmured as I slid closer to him.
"It's a very handy sport," he said as he pinned me with a stare that made my insides squishy and the need to crawl all over him intense.
"Interesting."
"Right, well the first thing you need to learn is about the bases. Do you know what first base is?" His eyes hooded and I prayed he wouldn't stop this time. I knew he would, but maybe. . .
I gently fingered the feather at my throat and considered my next move. Hayden had taken the feather he'd given me and had it made into a necklace. It now hung on a delicate golden chain. I swore I felt his energy inside me when I wore it. I secretly vowed to wear it for the rest of my life.
"I think it's this," I purred as I crawled on top of him and pressed my lips to his.
My softer, smaller body melted into his harder one and I knew I was where I was supposed to be. The evidence of his need pressed against my stomach and I hissed with delight.
"Baseball," he groaned as I wiggled my body closer, "is very difficult. You have to practice running the bases before you hit a home run."
"Am I doing it wrong?" I asked as I ran my tongue along his full lower lip.
"No, you're doing it right." His breathing was uneven as his tongue tangled with mine.
"If I'm not mistaken," I said as I took his large hand and placed it on my breast. "This is second base."
He closed his eyes and gently massaged my breast until it grew taut and tender under the touch of his hand. A familiar, yet to be fulfilled need coursed through me and I instinctually ground my hips into his.
"Oh God," he hissed as his hips moved in reply in a rhythm that was far more serious than the one I'd teased him with. His mouth captured mine and his teeth nipped at my lips.
I was so freakin' done being a virgin.
I pulled my shirt over my head and frantically tore his from his body. Sometimes having Demon strength rocked. His eyes widened and his grin almost undid me.
"I want you," I said as I took his face in my hands. "I need you."
The light sprinkling of blond hair on his chest that veed into the no-man’s land I was desperate to visit tickled my breasts and stomach as I rubbed against his strong body.
"You are killing me," he said as his hands grabbed my ass.
Heat traveled through me and landed squarely between my legs. I whimpered and tried to crawl inside him. His hands were everywhere and with each touch I climbed higher. . .closer.
Until he pushed me off of him and held me at arm’s length.
"Are you ready to commit to me for the rest of your very long life?" he demanded gruffly. His eyes blazed and his breath came in short spurts.
"Oh my Hell," I shouted. "You're a Demon. You're not supposed to have morals. How did I find a Demon with a conscience?"
"Answer my question."
"Can we at least get to third base before I have to answer?"
"Oh Dixie." His eyes crinkled and I wanted to slap the smirk off of his face. He pressed his lips to mine and I felt the kiss all the way to my toes. "I'll be back in a few hours to say goodbye."
***
Baseball sucked.
Sexually frustrated and ready to scream, I opened my suitcase and began to pack everything I owned. I wasn’t sure how different Earth would be from Hell. I was panicked. I picked my nail polish clean off and started on my cuticles. Blanche hadn’t been around in days, which was highly unusual. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t talk to my family about her absence. They didn’t believe she existed.
“Dixie,” a voiced hissed ominously.
“Grandpa?"
“It's Pee Wee Herman."
Pee Wee Herman wasn't dead. "Show yourself," I yelled. I was in no mood for this and I wasn't a hundred percent sure it was my grandpa.
"I've come to get you," the voice growled.
"Really?" I snapped. "You're not doing a very good job then."
“Dixie.” The voice sighed in exasperation. “Are you really going to have conversations with things that want to kill you?"
"Are you going to kill me?"
"Well, no."
"So your point is?" I asked the empty room.
"My point is that you should have tried to destroy me. What in the Hell are you going to do on Earth when your Uncle God sends the do-gooder winged jackasses down to kill you?”
“Grandpa, PeeWee Herman isn't really scary. I'd suggest you get up to date on pop culture if you want me to try and kill you."
"Point," my grandpa said as he materialized in a cloud of glitter.
My grandpa was the cutest man alive. He was part Sprite and part Demon. I pressed my fists into my sides so I wouldn’t squeeze him. He spent a lot of time in traction because my sisters had squeezed and loved on him too hard.
“You want to hug me and stroke me,” Grandpa informed me with great delight.
“Ewwww.” I groaned. “Do not say stroke. That sounds so wrong.”
“Oh, for the love of Mother Nature's rack, how did my son sire such a prude?” He shook his head and gave me a wink.
“I don’t know, but he did and don't say rack." I grinned and blew him a kiss. "I also happen to know that although you may protest, you love me to pieces.” Damn, I wanted to grab him and squeeze him. “Are your ribs healed?” I asked as I debated if I could at least pick him up and cuddle with him.
My grandpa was a tiny little thing, approximately the size of an Oompa Loompa. He was as irresistible as they come and almost as powerful as my father but not quite. His son was my dad, Satan. Dad and Uncle God were actually half brothers. They shared the same mother—Mother Nature.