"Who are you?" I demanded.
"I'm Eve, the Balance of Chaos."
My knees buckled and I grabbed onto my sister for purchase. I'd been looking for my mother all along? What kind of sick joke was this? She was the Balance of Chaos and I was Balance? How did that make sense? I glanced around warily. I'd found Chaos. Did that mean the Sword of Death-wielding Rogue Demons weren't far behind? Shit, why didn't I bring the baby Demons? I wanted to do damage, but the feel of my sister's skin beneath my fingertips helped me hold on to the thin shreds of sanity I still possessed.
I closed my eyes and thought and it slowly became more clear. They all knew she wouldn't be able to resist finding me if I came to Earth. My father, grandfather, Mother Nature, the rest of the True Immortals. . .but who else? How could her presence kill my father and God?
"Balance of Chaos can't be your job. It doesn't work. What's your job?"
"You don't have to tell her anything," Rhonda hissed.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Lucy yelled. "Shut your Dragon cakehole or I'll shut it for you—with my foot."
If the situation wasn't so wrong I would have laughed at the expression on Rhonda's face. As hard as I tried, I couldn't hold back a snort—neither could Lucy. Much to my amazement and wonder, Rhonda and Eve began to giggle.
"Well, they're certainly your daughters," Rhonda muttered and sat down next to the now grinning Eve. "Go ahead. Show yourself."
Eve began to glow in a vivid haze of pink and gold as she transformed before our eyes into the exquisite woman I'd seen on the porch of the old folks home.
"Blanche and I weren't seeing things," I gasped.
"Who in the Hell is Blanche?" Lucy asked, looking around in alarm.
"She's gone as you knew her," Eve said quietly. "You don't need her anymore."
"You did kill her," I said.
"No. She was here to serve a purpose. You created her and you let her go when you were ready," Eve said.
"I didn't let her go. You turned her to dust," I accused.
"Dixie, she's you. She just won't manifest outside of you anymore because you were ready to take her in and own her. You are now the true master of your destiny and fate."
It made sense, but it made me angry. I created her to replace a lot of the things Eve should have done for me as a mother, but didn't because she wasn't there. However I was grown now and I had a choice. . .wallow in the past or try to understand the woman who went away.
"Your job?" I asked.
Eve hesitated and wrung her slender fingers. "I control temptation. I am temptation. I feel it and I cause it. . .thus creating chaos."
"Well, that must suck," Lucy blurted out.
"Why in the Hell would a True Immortal's job be Temptation?" I asked as I approached her. "Why?"
"It keeps good and evil in check. It keeps the thirst alive for wisdom and the need for emotion honest." She bowed her head in shame. "And I have let them all down. I can't do it anymore."
My draw to her made more sense. Everything that should have repulsed me about her was appealing. "Was my father this drawn to you?"
"Yes, and so was his brother." Hmm, that was interesting.
"Were you what caused the rift?"
"I was part of it. There were many more issues than desire for me," she explained.
"And my father?" Lucy demanded.
"I'm sorry." Eve looked away as tears rolled down her lovely cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Lucy."
"Sorry doesn't really cut it, Eve," Lucy said acidly. "However, I'd like to thank you for finally revealing yourself. I will no longer glorify you in my dreams."
Eve was silent, and as harsh as Lucy's statement was I agreed. My mother was weak. Maybe more in Lucy's case than mine, but she was weak. Her Dragon protector now made sense.
"Everyone is looking for you," I told her. "You have fallen down on the job and now some big clusterfuck is looming and I have to fix it."
Her eyes went wide and she gasped. "What?"
"You heard me, Mom. Why have you not done your duty?"
"It hurts," she whispered.
"Tough titty." Lucy shook her head with disgust. "Pain sucks and then you go eat dinner. I've been doing it for thousands of years, Mommy. I don't buy this poor me crap. You're selfish and playing some kind of game, but if my sister. . .
who I just freakin' found
dies because you're too narcissistic to do your damn job, then I'll kill you."
"We're True Immortals," I whispered to Lucy.
"You can't die?" she asked, relieved.
"Not really, but neither can she."
"Whatever," Lucy snapped. "I'll just fuck her up real good then."
I realized in that moment how bad my sister's existence had been. I'd been without a mother for twenty-one years, but I had a father and sisters and grandparents who loved me in their own warped way. Lucy had none of that. She had nothing, yet she was still here. She still laughed and felt compassion, love and anger. She climbed Mt. Everest and sold real estate. . .She was amazing and would never be alone again as long I was around.
"That'll work," I told her and hugged her to me hard.
"One more question, Mommy," Lucy said emotionlessly. "Why did you abandon us?"
Eve shook her head and sighed. "I couldn't take care of you."
"Couldn't or wouldn't?" she snapped.
"I..." Eve was cut off by a violent explosion.
"Motherhumpinshithatscocksuckercrap," a welcome and familiar voice shrieked as the owner fell from the sky in a massive cloud of glitter and sparks. "I am missing
Downton Abbey
for this shit and I'm not happy," Mother Nature shouted as she righted herself. "Hi Dixie." She giggled and waved.
"Hi, Grandma Gigi." I waved back and blew her a kiss.
"That's your grandma?" Lucy whispered in a strangled voice.
"I prefer Gigi, but you can also call me Mother Nature, sweet child," she said as she bestowed a wet kiss on Lucy's cheek. "I've been watching you and I think you would make a fabu pole dancer. I officially invite you to Nirvana. You are tough as nails and I do believe you could help me knock Dixie's sisters Lust, Wrath and Greed into line. What do you think?"
Lucy was speechless, but she nodded her head vigorously. I grinned as I thought about Lucy handing it to the nastiest of the Seven Deadly Sins.
"Good. That's settled," Mother Nature said as she adjusted the neckline of her gown that was showing an obscene amount of cleavage. "Now about you," she hissed as she turned to my mother.
"Don't," Rhonda warned shakily.
"Don't what?" Mother Nature asked pleasantly. "Don't turn your Dragon ass into a handbag and matching pumps? Or how about a skintight bustier and booty shorts for my upcoming pole humping competition?"
"Pole dancing," I corrected her.
"That's what I said."
Lucy giggled and I gave her a quick elbow.
"Gaia," Eve said, using Mother Nature’s given name. "She is just protecting me."
"From what? Yourself?" Gigi sneered. "You have played with my boys and my granddaughter. That gives me gas, but now you're playing with destiny. I won't even begin to tell you what malady that causes my lower regions."
"Thank Hades," I mumbled and Lucy choked.
"I have done what I needed to do to survive." Eve stood and faced my grandma. "I have done nothing wrong."
“No, my dearest temptress. . .you have simply done nothing at all. There's a big difference. While you've wallowed in your perceived pain, those that wish to destroy balance have been quite busy. Your lack of balls has put your daughter, my sons and the mortal world as we know it in peril. Plus," she hissed, "I'm missing my program. If I miss
Long Island Medium
, there's no telling what will happen to Asia."
My family's obsession with balls made me involuntarily check to make sure I hadn't physically grown any.
"What are you doing?" Lucy asked as I discreetly grabbed my crotch.
"I’ll tell you later," I whispered, relieved that I was still nutsack free.
"What do you expect of me?" my mother cried. Her distress was real, but it didn't move me. Rhonda went to her and held her gently.
"I expect you to do what you were created for," Mother Nature said in a voice that was chilling. "I expect you to dump your baggage and step up. Now," she roared as the tombstone bearing my name crumbled to the ground. "Your daughter is not dead. She will not die, but you, my little temptress, are walking very close to the edge."
"We will not listen to this," Rhonda said angrily. "Eve does not deserve this. We will take our leave."
The Dragon threw her huge arms in the air and my mother and her protector vanished.
"Well, that was stupid and shortsighted," Mother Nature quipped and giggled.
"What are you talking about?" I asked as Lucy's mouth gaped open.
"It's not wise to fuck with Mother Nature," Gigi said.
"I thought it was fool," Lucy whispered.
"It is," Mother Nature agreed. "But fuck is simply more fun to say. Don't you think?"
"Yes," Lucy acknowledged. "It is."
"My kind of girl," Gigi said as she patted a happy Lucy on the head lovingly. "Well, my job here is done." She lifted her arms and prepared to blast off to somewhere.
"Wait," I yelled. "Do you have anything else to tell me?"
"Absolutely not," she sniffed incredulously. "I have no intention of turning us all to dust. I won the last fifteen pole dancing marathons. I'm on a roll. Not gonna screw with those odds."
"But. . ." I stopped myself and swallowed back the words that had almost left my lips. The Kev was right. I was in charge of my own destiny. I would discover the rest of the journey. Alone. "I love you," I told her instead.
"And I you," she cooed. "And you too, Lucy. I take you on as a step-Gigi. Can you cook?" she inquired.
"Kind of," Lucy answered.
"Good enough," Gigi shouted as a funnel of turquoise glitter engulfed her. "I'll expect you next month. You'll teach me to cook and I'll teach you to hump a pole like a stripper. Dixie, you come too and bring your man. He has a wonderful ass and I'd enjoy grabbing it."
On those alarming parting words she disappeared.
"Holy shit," Lucy uttered.
"Yep. That about covers it."
Chapter 32
Lucy slept soundly in her new room after Janet fussed over her for an hour. Myrtle was on a date with Timmy the Bear shifter doing Satan knew what, Carl was sewing sequins on matching tutus for himself and The Kev and the baby Demons were watching a monster truck marathon and beating the Hell out of each other. All was right with my world at the moment. I was exhausted. All I wanted was my bed and my dreams about Hayden. The thought of Gigi grabbing the Angel of Death's ass brought a smile to my lips. I wouldn't mind grabbing his ass either. Another week till I could see him. I couldn't wait.
Pulling on some clean panties after a quick shower was about all I could muster up the energy to do. I fell to my bed, yanked the comforter over my head and sighed with pleasure.
"Hello Dixie."
WTH? How could a bad day get worse? Let me see. . .the Angel of Light could show up in my bedroom when I was wearing nothing but panties.
"Leave," I snapped as I secured the comforter around me.
"Now that's just rude," he replied.
"No. It's rude to show up uninvited when I've had a shitty day."
"I didn't think I'd get an invite," he said sulkily.
"You were correct, Angel boy."
"So I invited myself."
"Look, Elijah. Hayden is my soul mate. You’re hot and all, but I'm good with the man I love," I told him.
"You kissed me," he informed me triumphantly.
"No, actually you kissed me," I shot back.
"Semantics," he said dismissively.
"Elijah, I love Hayden."
His eyes flashed and he advanced on the bed. "You think the Angel of Death is capable of love?"
"Yes, I do."
"You never had a chance," he said sadly. "You have so much good in you from your mother, but it's been tainted by your evil side."
I could certainly tell him a few things about my mother's goodness, but I was too pissed off about the rest of what he'd said.
"You think you're not evil?" I raised an eyebrow and waited.
"I'm the Angel of Light. I am goodness and love," he insisted.
"Blah, blah, blah. It seems a little evil to me to hit on your brother's soul mate."
He was taken aback at either my snarkiness or my accuracy.
"I never had a chance with you," he pouted. "You could have been perfect and good."
"Give me a break." I rolled my eyes and groaned. "There is no such thing as pure good or pure evil."
"Of course there is," he huffed indignantly. "I'm pure goodness."
"Nope."
"I am."
"Nope."
"Yes. I. Am," he roared and knocked all the pictures from my bedroom walls.
"That wasn't very good," I muttered and grinned.
"All right. Fine. I'm just pissed that I never had a chance." He crossed to the other side of the room and dropped into a beanbag chair.
The simple fact that the Angel of Light was sitting in a rose-colored beanbag chair was enough to keep me giggling for a while.
"What?" he demanded.
"Nothing. Is it because I'm a True Immortal?" I asked. "Is that why you want me?"
"No. Yes. I don't know," he admitted. "You're beautiful and you're Balance. I was hoping to tip the scales."
"And that's good?"
"No," he said sheepishly. "I suppose not."
An alarmingly depressing thought crossed my brain. Did Hayden want me for the same reason?
"No, he doesn't," Elijah ground out morosely.
"Did I say that out loud?" I gasped.
"No. I can read minds, especially when they yell as loud as yours does. As much as I loathe to admit it, my bastard brother loves you. The evil part and the good part."
"Was that so hard?" I asked, smiling. A huge weight lifted from my heart and if I wasn't mostly naked I would have hugged the Angel in my room. As annoying as he was, I did kind of like him.
"Actually it was. However, he will be pissed." Elijah grinned evilly.