Her Brother's Keeper (9 page)

Charlotte had listened intently in an effort to note any jealousy in Ryan's tone, but he didn't seem bothered in the least. “Very funny,” she said, making a mental note that Ryan just mentioned God again. If he had any
notable flaw, it was being so overt about his religion. But something was bothering her, and she decided to run with the thoughts even if it might bring on a conversation she wasn't comfortable with.

“I'm pretty sure God didn't send me here to end up with an Amish man.” She sighed. “But I'm forced to sit in on the devotions now.” She told Ryan the story she'd told Hannah, why she didn't know their dialect. “Hannah shared my big fat lie with everyone else, so now they rarely speak Dutch around me. And they assumed that was the reason I wasn't joining them for devotions.” She paused, took another breath. “Anyway, I can't figure a way to get out of it, but all this praying is making me feel bad about myself. And I don't know why that is. It's making me think about things and feel . . . weird.”

“That's not surprising. When a person first begins to develop a relationship with God, it's like a cleansing of the soul or something. I didn't find God until I was an adult, but when I did, it was like every sin I'd ever committed in my life ran through my mind as I moved toward a different and better way of life.”

“I said I'm
forced
to pray with them. I don't see that as any kind of spiritual cleansing,” she said softly, deciding that she didn't want to pursue this conversation after all. “I hear someone coming down the hall. I gotta go.” She was drowning in sin . . . mostly lies. She didn't want to feel any worse about that than she already did. On that note, she ended the conversation.

She pulled out her yellow pad. Despite her longing to clear her mind of spiritual matters, the thoughts continued to haunt her, so she wrote them down.

God, if You exist, I'm going to need some kind of sign . . .

Hannah was surprised that Mary asked to ride into town with her the following day since the traffic on Lincoln Highway scared her so much. Hannah hoped that maybe this was a sign that Mary wanted to be friends as well as cousins, but it may have just been that she mentioned going by Miller's Furniture Store.

“Isaac is usually not at the store even though his family owns it. Besides, I thought he was going to give you a tour on your date on Saturday.” Hannah glanced at her cousin as she tethered the horse to the hitching post.

“It doesn't matter. I just felt like getting out. No biggie.”

Hannah wondered if maybe Mary used these strange expressions because she'd become Amish later in life. Too many of the
Englisch
ways had stuck with her.

Either way, Hannah was surprised to see Isaac behind the register when they entered the furniture store.

“Wie bischt,
Isaac.” Hannah pointed over her shoulder. “
Mei daed
asked us to drop off two small bookshelves.”
Both pieces were solid wood and much too heavy for Hannah and Mary to carry.

“Ya. Gut.”
Isaac eased around the corner toward the front door, then locked eyes with Hannah.

“And you remember my cousin, Mary.” She pulled her gaze from Isaac when she felt her cheeks flushing. She'd always miss Ethan, but her attraction to Isaac still brought on considerable guilt. But Isaac had finally decided to start dating, and Mary was the woman he chose, so Hannah needed to support his choice.

Isaac returned carrying both bookcases as if they were no heavier than a pail of grain, his muscles straining against his short-sleeved blue shirt. Hannah turned to Mary, who was clearly smitten with Isaac. Her cousin couldn't take her eyes off of him.

“Danki,”
Isaac said as he carried the two bookshelves past them and toward the back of the shop.

Isaac was a gentle soul, someone who loved animals, worked hard, and cherished the Lord. There was a time, long before Ethan, when Hannah had hoped things could be different between her and Isaac. They'd grown up together, and she'd witnessed his kindness for years, even when he didn't know she was watching him.

Mary walked away, presumably to take a self-guided tour of the spacious store, and when Isaac returned from the back, Hannah said, “I hear you and Mary are going out Saturday.”

Isaac smiled. “
Ya
. She wanted to see the store and . . .”
He looked around until he spotted Mary. “But I guess it will just be lunch instead since she's looking around now. Phyllis and Tom took the morning off to go to one of their
kinner
's school programs.”

“I think it's
gut
that you have decided to date again. I know you've been busy taking care of your father. He looked like he was doing better at worship service.”

“Some days are better than others for
Daed
.” He scratched his chin. “I-I didn't exactly ask your cousin out. She wanted to see the store and have lunch. Since she's here now, I'm wondering if we will still go to lunch.”

Hannah fought the urge to spout something ugly since Mary hadn't made bother to mention that she'd been the one to do the asking.

“There are some great pieces in here,” Mary said when she rejoined them. “Really beautiful.” She smiled. “See you Saturday. I'll bring lunch.”

Hannah wondered how that might go since she'd never seen Mary prepare much of anything in the kitchen. Isaac nodded, so Hannah forced another smile and gave a quick wave good-bye.

How forward for Mary to ask a man out.
She wanted to say something to her cousin when they got back into the buggy, but Hannah was afraid that Mary might notice a tinge of jealousy, so they stayed quiet for most of the trip. Right before they got home, Hannah couldn't stand it anymore.

“Isaac said that you asked him out. Is that how it's
done in Texas? Because that seems . . . odd.” She straightened her back as she picked up the pace. When Mary reached for the dashboard of the buggy, Hannah sped up even more.

“I don't think it matters who asked whom.” Mary rolled her eyes, and even though it appeared to be a playful gesture, it still fueled Hannah's aggravation. But she stayed quiet as she recalled the way she'd pushed everyone away from her since Ethan's death. She needed a friend, someone to confide in, to be close to. How could she fault Mary for wanting to spend time with Isaac?

She had another stop she wanted to make on the way home. It was a place she always visited by herself, but she wasn't sure when she would have another opportunity to do so for the next few days, and she felt like she needed to be somewhere she could feel close to Ethan. Her feelings about Isaac and her cousin were confusing.

Five

D
o you mind if we make a stop on the way home?” Hannah asked after a few minutes of silence.

“That's fine.” Charlotte couldn't shake the feeling that Hannah was judging her for asking Isaac out. Charlotte had spent the bulk of her life judging herself. She didn't need anyone else doing it. But she wanted Hannah to trust her so she would open up more about Ethan, even though a part of her was terrified to know the details. But also heavy on Charlotte's heart was the feeling that Hannah was somehow being disloyal. If she loved Ethan so much, then why was she jealous of Charlotte's upcoming date with Isaac? Or was Charlotte misreading her?

A coworker once told Charlotte that she was too quick to judge a person. Charlotte hadn't been able to argue with the woman. That was likely the reason she didn't have many friends. She glanced at Hannah and
wondered what it would have been like to have Hannah as a sister-in-law. Would they have been close, like sisters? Would Ethan eventually have accepted Charlotte into his world, and vice versa?

Charlotte was lost in thought as the breeze rushed against her face, the only relief from the heat. She tried to overlook the hint of manure wafting into the buggy. She glanced at Hannah again, then back at the car in front of them. Maybe Hannah deserved a second chance at love. With Isaac? The jury was still out, depending on what she found out about Ethan while she was here. Charlotte wondered when she would get her shot at happiness. She'd dated plenty of guys over the years, but it took tremendous effort for her to get close to anyone, and she usually ended the relationship before it really got off the ground. Sometimes she felt like she could explode with all the love she'd been holding back for the right person.
So where is he?

Of course, it wouldn't be anyone like Isaac, and she hoped that by asking him out she wasn't leading him on. But where was this love that had eluded her all her life? Maybe only good people got that idyllic life: great family, friends, spouse, children. She realized that the only person she'd ever trusted was Ethan, which made the distance that had formed between them—geographically and otherwise—so hard. Despite their awful childhoods, they'd always been close, except for the two years they'd been separated by foster care and then later when he'd ended up in Lancaster County.

Hannah clicked her tongue, picking up speed along Lincoln Highway.

Charlotte's knuckles weren't as white as last time, but her heart was still racing.

“Where are we going?”

Hannah kept her eyes straight ahead. “A special place I like to go.”

Charlotte wished it was a mall. Or a hair salon so she could get her roots touched up, something she should have done before she made this trip. Her roots were going to be a problem if anyone in the King household got a look at the top of her head before she was able to use the box of hair dye she'd brought from home. She sighed, thinking how nice a pedicure sounded, knowing it would be at least a couple more weeks before she visited any of those places.

Thankfully, Hannah turned off the main highway, and she slowed the buggy to a trot down a narrow dirt road that didn't have any wheel ruts or evidence a horse had been there recently. From what Charlotte had seen of Lancaster County so far, it was rolling hills with lush fields and manicured homes. It reminded her of the Texas Hill Country, except in Texas, there were very few silos, and the tall feed containers were plentiful here.

But this stretch of road didn't resemble the pristine areas she'd passed by since her arrival. “A road less traveled,” she said softly as the sun peeked over a hillside in front of them. No houses in sight, no cattle, and after only
a few minutes, even the buzz of cars on Lincoln Highway became faint, then disappeared altogether. Gangly stalks of greenery on either side of the road blew in the breeze, which seemed cooler all of a sudden—so much so, that the line of sweat that ran the length of her spine chilled for a few moments. Some tree branches arched over the road, so low the buggy barely cleared them. There was something peaceful about this place, if not a bit eerie. “Where are we?”

Hannah pulled back on the reins. “Whoa.” Once they were stopped in the middle of the road, Hannah stepped out of the buggy and tethered the horse to a tree. As Charlotte got out on her side, she eased up to Hannah, and again, she felt a shimmer of cool air.

“My special place.” Hannah offered only a faint smile as she motioned for Charlotte to follow her. Pushing back twigs hanging on both sides, Charlotte could see a narrow path.

“What about the buggy? Can you just leave it in the middle of the road?” Charlotte stepped carefully. “Are there snakes here?”

Hannah continued to push the hanging greenery to the sides as she walked the path. “
Nee
, no one comes here. And there are no snakes.”

Hannah couldn't know that for certain, so Charlotte kept her eyes peeled on the dirt path in front of her, her head ducked, and arms spread to keep from getting popped with a twig. She slapped at a spidery bug crawling
on her arm. This was an adventure she could have done without. The silence was growing disturbing. Not even the sound of a bird chirping. She stopped walking and stiffened as a thought assaulted her. “Wait,” she said.