Her Cowboy Lover (Pleasure Ridge Ranch) (7 page)

She was so engrossed in watching the heavens that she didn’t hear the approaching engine at first. By the time she zeroed in on the fact that it was heading up the drive to the cabin, fleeing inside wasn’t an option. Instead, she turned her right side toward the approaching headlights and allowed her hair to fall forward to shield the left half of her face.

To his credit, Connor shut off the lights even before he cut the truck’s engine. She tried not to wish she could have seen a glimpse of him before the night went dark again.

As he stepped out, she listened to the crunch of the gravel beneath his boots. When she looked up, she could see the outline of his cowboy hat against the starry sky behind him.

"How’s your mom?" she asked, keeping her voice even and devoid of emotion.

"Fine, considering she broke her ankle. But she could have broken her neck just as easily." He sounded tired, and she wondered if he’d gotten any rest at all after he’d left her in the pre-dawn hours.

"That’s good."

With a deep sigh, he sank onto the top step next to her. "I’m sorry I ran off in such a crazed rush this morning."

"It’s understandable."

He was quiet for a moment, but she sensed there was a lot more going on beneath the surface. "It’s more than just a broken ankle. My mom has dementia. Half the time she doesn’t even know who I am."

Lily’s resolve to not show any emotion abandoned her. "Oh, Connor. I’m so sorry. That must be so hard."

"It is. She used to be such a strong woman, but losing my dad seemed to break something inside of her. At first, I thought it was just grief. But I eventually realized that something else was going on." He took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair. Then he looked toward her. "I’m sorry. You didn’t pay to hear about my problems."

She reached over and took one of his hands in hers. "Being here, with you, for the past couple of days has done more for me than you can imagine. You can tell me anything. You’re not the only one with ears to listen."

He lifted his hand to her undamaged cheek. "You’re amazing, you know it?"

"No, I’m human. And I know what it’s like to go through hard times. I wouldn’t have made it without my friends and family. Sometimes all I needed was another person to talk to, to voice what I was feeling so it didn’t dam up inside me and explode."

"That’s how it feels sometimes," he said as he let his hand drop away from her face. "Like the pressure and worry are building to a breaking point." Though all she could see was the outline of his face, she could see when he directed his attention out into the inky distance. "Her care is why I took this job. I wanted her to be able to stay in her own home, and that means around-the-clock caregivers. And I couldn’t...wasn’t able to do what I wanted to."

"Which was?"

"I used to ride bulls on the rodeo circuit, until I got thrown then trounced by a really mean bull. Several broken bones and a couple of surgeries later, and my career was over."

"I’m sorry."

He shrugged. "I looked for work for a long time, but nothing paid enough for Mom’s care and to pay all the others bills. When I found out about this place, I couldn’t believe I was even considering it. But I told myself that I would just turn everything off when I was here, then pretend it didn’t exist the moment I left the ranch each day. None of it was real."

Lily swallowed hard even though everything he said made perfect sense. A part of her even admired him for his sacrifices for his mother. It didn’t matter that Lily was just part of that sacrifice.

"Have you told anyone else this?" She knew it shouldn’t matter, but she needed to know.

"You mean other women I’ve been with?"

"Yes."

"No. That’s the thing. I’ve never shared anything personal with any of them."

"Maybe it’s the darkness. It’s easier sometimes to open up when you don’t have to look the other person in the face."

"No, it’s because you’re different. I don’t know if it’s because you opened up to me first, trusted me, or the fact that you’re going to be my last, but I don’t feel the same with you."

Lily’s heart faltered as the full meaning of his words sank in. "Your last?"

"I can’t do this anymore. I’ll figure out something, but this can’t be it."

"Oh."

"I’ll spend the rest of the week with you, and then I’m done here."

Lily bit her lip, debating with herself over what to say in response. She wanted to spend more time with him, but she couldn’t make him do something that was killing him inside. No need to see it in his face, she could hear it in his voice.

"You don’t have to come back," she said. "I understand."

He shifted so that he was halfway facing her then took both of her hands in his. "That’s not what I meant. I want to spend these nights with you, but that’s why I know I can’t do this anymore after you leave. I’m not going to want to be with anyone else."

"I..." She had absolutely no idea what to say to that. They’d spent two nights together, didn’t even know what each other looked like, and yet something more than sex had blossomed between them. "This doesn’t make sense."

"I know, but that doesn’t change how I feel."

She sat silently for several long seconds before saying, "Me neither."

His hand slid up her arm to her shoulder then made its way up her neck to the back of her head. And then his mouth lowered to hers in the sweetest, most tender kiss imaginable. She had to fight tears at the thought that in a few days, she would never kiss those lips again.

* * * *

Connor wrapped Lily in his arms and pulled her closer. Her breasts pushed against him, soft yet firm. And she tasted like strawberries. He never would have thought that coming to work at Pleasure Ridge would lead to their conversation on the cabin’s porch, to such a relief of the pressure in his chest that it could be nothing less than a miracle.

"I want to make love to you," he said against her lips, moist from their kisses.

She pulled away a bit. "You don’t have to do that anymore."

"I know I don’t have to. I want to, if you do."

Lily lifted her hand to his cheek. "You have no idea how many times I thought about making love to you today, wondering if I’d ever get another opportunity." She shook her head. "Wondering if I’d gotten too caught up in the fantasy and in danger of thinking it was something real."

His chest grew tight. If he was crazy feeling like there was more between them than client and sexual plaything, then she was evidently crazy, too. But now wasn’t the time to explore that. Now he just wanted to get her into bed, bury himself inside her, make her come so hard she cried out his name. Honestly, it scared him a little how much he wanted that.

After kissing her deeply again, he led her inside, straight to the bedroom. Neither of them spoke as they discarded their clothes as quickly as they could. As Lily lay on the bed, a flash of what she’d done for him in the shower had him foregoing burying his straining dick deep inside her. Instead, he grabbed her legs behind her knees and dragged her to the bottom edge of the bed.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Repaying a favor." He got down on his knees and spread her legs wide. Her quick intake of breath only fueled his desire to explore her this way, to drive her crazy with his tongue. He slid his hands under her hips and angled her up toward his face. He trailed kisses along her inner thigh, then placed his mouth on her hot center. When he flicked his tongue inside, she bucked against him.

Raging hot desire shot through him, and he went deeper, lapping at her core. Lily had said that being with him had given her a sense of power over events she hadn’t felt in a long time. Here, with her giving herself over to the pleasure he could give her, he knew exactly how she felt.

* * * *

Lily pressed her head back into the mattress and dug her fingers into the comforter covering the bed. She moaned as Connor flicked his tongue inside her, making her quiver with the need to come. But she also wanted this feeling to last as long as possible. It felt as if lightning was traveling along her skin.

He readjusted his hands beneath her hips, bringing her even closer to his mouth as he began to suck at her core.

"Oh, yes!" she cried out. "Yes, yes, yes."

Her words must have fueled his because his tongue went back to work at what seemed like an impossible speed. Her muscles tightened all over her body, but nowhere did they contract more than inside her.

"I’m coming," she said in between gasps for air.

He rocked her against his wonderful, wonderful mouth until she came in a glorious rush. She was in the middle of trying to get her breath when she realized he wasn’t done. When he moved to enter her, she pressed a hand against his smooth chest. "Wait." She flipped over and leaned forward onto her forearms, giving him easy access. She’d never be able to admit it in the light of day, but she liked sex this way, from behind.

He wasted no time sheathing himself and beginning to pump inside her. She concentrated on making her inner muscles squeeze around him with each deep thrust of his penis. Connor made a guttural sound deep in his throat before he impaled himself one more time and came.

Somehow they managed to find the energy to clean themselves then curl up together beneath the covers, her head on his shoulder. She thought about what he’d said earlier, about not being with anyone else after her. It was crazy, irrational, impossible, but she felt the same way about him. She indulged in a secret fantasy as they both drifted toward sleep, one in which she could reveal herself to him, he’d think she was beautiful, he’d be just as wonderful in the full light of day, and they could live happily ever after.

But unlike the past few days, that was a fantasy that could never come true.

* * * *

In the middle of the night, Lily awoke to Connor nuzzling her ear. That led to a kiss, then a deeper kiss, and then to slow, beautiful lovemaking. Afterward, they slept again. When she woke, several hours later, the sun was already rising and Connor was still next to her, his chest to her back and his arm draped over her.

She expected a surge of panic to hit her, but it didn’t. Instead, her heart beat fast for an entirely different reason. She’d come to Pleasure Ridge to enjoy a lover in the dark, one who would never know who she was or what she looked like. But now, the morning after he’d told her about his mother and his desire to quit working at the ranch, she found she wanted to share something with him. This man she barely knew had changed her. He’d pushed her to frenzied, sexual ecstasy, and then made such tender love to her that it had nearly brought tears to her eyes.

Lily shifted her head just a little, enough to see his hand. It looked exactly how she thought it would — long fingers, strong, a couple of small scars. The hand of a cowboy, even if it had been awhile since he’d ridden.

Connor shifted behind her, and she knew he was awake the moment he froze.

"Lily, you awake?"

"Yeah."

"I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to sleep this late." He started to pull his hand back over her, but she captured it in her own and guided it close to her chest.

"It’s okay."

"It is?" He sounded genuinely surprised.

She took a deep breath and released it slowly. "Yes. I don’t want to hide in the dark anymore, even though the idea of you seeing me scares me."

He settled his hand on her hip. "Why?"

"Because the man who attacked me...he left an ugly reminder behind."

Connor applied gentle pressure where he touched her, a gesture of support. "What happened?"

She closed her eyes and forced herself to remember the details of that day. "I was having a show at a gallery in St. Louis. I was on my way inside, going up the front steps in broad daylight, when this guy grabbed my arm. I didn’t recognize him at first. He’d grown a beard, and his hair was all a mess, but he was someone I’d seen at a couple of art shows. He’d asked me out, and I said no because there was just something about him that felt a little off. He didn’t take rejection well, and...he pulled a knife and started slashing at me." A shiver went through her at the clarity of the memory of that knife — huge, shiny, and heading straight for her.

"A guy nearby saw what was happening and tackled my attacker, but it was too late to keep him from making contact with the knife. I know I’m lucky to be alive, but it didn’t feel that way for awhile because he cut my face, bad, and I saw it every time I looked in the mirror. Still do."

She paused, giving him an opportunity to say something.

Connor dropped his head to her shoulder and planted a kiss there. "I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I’m thankful that bystander was there."

"Me, too." She waited for him to say that he knew who she was, but he didn’t. "The attack was bad enough, but..." Did she really want to go into this, on the off chance that he might have no idea who she was? "What followed was almost worse. The media seized on the story, making me the poster child for stalker victims when I just wanted to be left alone."

"Sometimes good people get thrust into shitty situations. It’s not fair, but it doesn’t keep it from happening." He paused long enough to place another kiss on her shoulder. "It’s up to you if you want to show me, but don’t worry about what I’ll think. I already know you’re beautiful."

She shook her head. "Maybe once I was."

"No, you are."

Unable to take the tension of not knowing anymore, she took a deep breath and rolled over onto her back, allowing him to see her and her damaged face for the first time. For a moment, however, she forgot she was waiting for a shocked reaction because she was the one who was shocked. He was so handsome with dark hair and eyes, strong lines on his face. He took her breath away. It took her several seconds to realize he hadn’t jerked back, hadn’t gasped, hadn’t reacted in any visible way to her scar.

"Like I said, beautiful," he said, and then he surprised her again by lowering his lips to her marred left cheek and kissing his way up the length of her scar.