Her Impetuous Rakehell (10 page)

“I won’t continue to argue with you. What does your mother say regarding all of this?”

Hannah sighed and let her shoulders slump. “She suggested we return to Bridgethorpe Manor. If what you say about the gossip is true, she might be right. I cannot be seen in Society if they are speculating over my actions with two men. And poor Lady Susan, to be dragged into my mess.”

“She cares little for what Society thinks of her. Her part in any of this will be forgotten soon enough.”

If only they’d forget Hannah’s part in the scandal. And Laurence’s. She hadn’t even considered how this reflected on him, and he was working so hard to improve his standing. She was such a selfish girl to only consider her own reputation. Laurence’s was so much more important now with Louisa in his care.

“It appears I will be returning to the country as soon as possible. You will write to me, won’t you? Tell me of your wedding? And your wedding trip. Where do you plan to go?”

Talking of Amelia’s plans lifted Hannah’s spirits somewhat, and let her think of something other than the horrible man she’d believed herself in love with.

~*~

Two mornings later, Laurence was once again awakened by an early morning visit from Knightwick. He quickly pulled on some clothes and stumbled down the stairs. “Good Lord, man, don’t you ever sleep?”

Knightwick sat stiffly in his chair. “I haven’t slept since I received Mother’s letter. I cut my trip short to return to Town. What she said made no sense. How is it both you and Downham compromised my sister in the same evening?”

Laurence sank into a chair and covered his face with his hands. “They can’t believe it of her.”

“I doubt people believe half of what they gossip about, but that doesn’t prevent them from talking, or making the story even more entertaining. What is the truth of it? I thought you were there to protect Hannah.”

Laurence explained how the night had developed, and the curious and shocked expressions they’d received when they returned to the lighted path. “I failed her. It’s my fault she is in this situation.”

“It’s Downham’s fault, not yours. Or my fault for allowing her to spend an evening with him in a place with so many avenues to misadventure.”

“The talk will quiet soon, won’t it? I’ve never paid attention to how long the stories last when they’re about me.” He leaned back. His anger was so great he was beyond even acting on it. He felt powerless to regain control over the situation.

He should have spoken to Lady B about his fears regarding Downham. No matter that Knightwick didn’t think to mention it to her, Laurence should have done so himself.

“I don’t know. No man will have anything to do with her now, though. She might not even wish to return to Town next year. By the following year there should have been enough other scandals to gossip about that Hannah will be forgotten.”

Two years before she could consider finding a husband. He’d seen how she looked when Downham was attentive. She’d be miserable with no one’s flattery for so long.

She’d be close to twenty-three by then. Certainly not on the shelf, but with so many younger ladies arriving in Town each year, it would be harder to be the center of attention.

Who was he fooling? No man could fail to notice her. She was so much prettier than even the other ladies they called Diamonds. She was more sensible, and much less likely to flit from man to man than a girl in her first Season.

She didn’t deserve to be hidden away. She hadn’t done anything but be a victim of trusting the wrong man. Of allowing herself to be separated from her friends.

Knightwick shifted in his seat. “You’re very quiet. What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking I should marry Hannah.” The words escaped him before the thought was fully formed.

His friend simply stared at him for a full minute. “You are daft. Or making a joke. Yes, that’s it. You have horrible taste in humor, Oakhurst. This is a serious matter. This is my sister we are discussing. I won’t stand for such ridiculous ideas.”

“Why is it so ridiculous? She is fond of me, as I am of her. We get on very well. She adores Louisa. I’m in a position to take far better care of her than most any man.”

“Hannah doesn’t love you in the way she deserves to love her husband.”

“And you’re certain she wouldn’t come to love me over time.”

Knightwick jumped to his feet and paced the room. “I have no idea how a woman loves. I do know Hannah wishes to love a man before she marries.”

“If she marries soon, the talk will die much sooner than if she simply retires to the country.”

“That’s true. Yet I can’t agree to this. I can’t agree to her marrying anyone without asking her wishes first.”

“Will you let me talk to her?” Laurence held his breath waiting for an answer.

“I suppose I must. But you must promise me something.”

“Yes?”

“Promise me you’ll never hurt her.”

“I swear to do everything in my power to be certain she is never unhappy, whether she will have me or not.”

~*~

Hannah sat in the window seat in the morning room, grateful it was at the back of the house so she didn’t feel as though all who passed by were peering up at the windows for a glimpse of that wicked young lady who’d disgraced herself in Vauxhall.

She and Mama would be leaving for home the next day. Mama was out paying calls on her friends, letting them know of the pending departure, and asking that they help to end the gossip. Telling the truth of the night wouldn’t help, it would only label Hannah as someone foolish enough, or eager enough, to allow a man to have his way with her.

The front door opened and closed, and she assumed Mama had returned. The footsteps were too heavy for her mother, however, and a second set followed the first. Had Knightwick come?

Not having the energy to find out, Hannah remained with her forehead resting on the cool glass.

“Hannah?” Knightwick’s voice came from the doorway.

“Good afternoon.” She didn’t turn his way.

“Hannah, Oakhurst is with me.”

She turned to sit properly. “Forgive me, Lord Oakhurst. How nice of you to call. Mama is not in at the moment but I’m certain she’d welcome your visit.”

Laurence walked past Knightwick. “I came to see you.”

Her brother left the room, surprising Hannah to no end. He was always the first to reprimand her and Laurence when they failed to behave properly.

“Is there news about Louisa? How is she getting on with her new nursemaid?”

He walked slowly toward her. “She is well, and she enjoys the company of her nursemaid.” He stopped in front of her. “I didn’t come on a casual call, Hannah. After what happened a few nights past, we must consider the repercussions.”

“Yes. Mama and I are leaving tomorrow. I will miss Louisa. You’ll bring her the next time you come to Bridgethorpe?” Her biggest regret about leaving Town was not seeing the girl grow.

“I rather hoped you’d want to spend more time than that with her. With me.”

His face softened in a way she’d never seen before. Hannah’s curiosity grew.

“We’ve always gotten on well together. You know I care deeply for you.” He looked down at his boots. “I’m not doing this well. I’ve never been in this situation before.”

“Laurence, what are you saying?”

“I love you,” he blurted out. “At first I thought I was merely jealous of another man spending his life with you, but I was wrong. I can’t imagine my life without you. Please say you’ll do me the honor of becoming my wife.”

Her heart squeezed almost painfully. The words she’d so longed to hear just days ago. It didn’t matter how much she enjoyed Laurence’s company, she couldn’t let him throw his life away because of her mistake. “Laurence,” she said gently. “What happened between Lord Downham and myself was not your fault. You don’t have to do this.”

“I’m not acting out of honor. You know me better than that. I mean what I say. I want to marry you Hannah. Not to have a mother for Louisa. Not to save your reputation. Simply because I wish to share every day with you.”

He looked so earnest, but she knew him too well to believe it. “I don’t know how you convinced Knightwick to allow you to speak to me. I’m honored that you would offer to help me in this way, but I cannot accept your offer. You have done your duty and can free yourself of concern over my wellbeing now.”

His fists clenched. “You’re mistaken, Hannah. Either you misunderstand me, or you have no desire to marry me and are allowing me to retain my dignity. I will trouble you no longer. Do not be surprised if the next time you see me I ask you again. I want you for my wife, Hannah. I will love you whether we marry or not.”

He spun on his heel and strode out of the room without saying good-bye.

Chapter Ten

By mid July, Hannah’s misery hadn’t lifted. She’d spend some weeks with Jane and Cousin Stephen, helping to care for their infant son. Of course, the child had a nursemaid and Jane was perfectly healthy, but there was some sort of magic than enveloped Hannah with she held that tiny boy in her arms.

The skin on the back of his hands was like warm silk. His lips puckered in a little bow while he slept, as though he nursed in his sleep. He was a quiet baby, so good-natured and quick to smile.

She felt she should return home, however, before she overstayed her welcome. Stephen and Jane likely wished to have time alone with just their child, enjoying their small family.

Amelia wrote that she would marry in August at her fiancé’s country estate. She suggested Hannah come in the fall to see her new home. That would prove a pleasant distraction, Hannah was certain.

The only concern was what to do in the months between now and that visit.

It didn’t matter that she always spent summers at Bridgethorpe Manor. Her sisters were good company, and Mama let them bathe in the pond some days, since all Hannah’s brothers lived elsewhere now.

Inside her coursed a restlessness she couldn’t release no matter how much she tried. Like the itch on her skin from an insect bite that could not be relieved, this inner itch was driving her mad. She walked to the village almost daily in search of a new book from the small library her father had sponsored. Rebecca, Cousin Neal’s wife, was home visiting her father and on several of Hannah’s visits to the village, she stopped by the vicarage to see her.

“Hannah, how good to see you,” Rebecca said when Hannah called for the third time that week. “Come inside, it’s awfully warm out.”

“It is warm. I hadn’t realized how much so when I left home.” Hannah removed her bonnet and gloves in search of comfort.

“Let me fetch some lemonade. I’ll join you in the drawing room in just a moment. Please make yourself comfortable.”

She’d known Rebecca all her life, but since the girl was four years older than Hannah, they’d only become close when Hannah had turned fourteen. Rebecca had married Neal the previous year and they’d moved to a home Neal bought. As hard as it’d been for Hannah to say good-bye to her friend, she was beyond excited that Rebecca had found love.

Rebecca carried in two glasses of lemonade. “Here we are. This will help put you to rights.” After handing one to Hannah, she took her place in the worn, comfortable chair by the window. “How are your sisters? Any news to pass on?”

“So little happens, I’m bored silly. What did we used to do to pass our time in the heat of summer?”

“Surely it’s not as bad as all that.”

“I imagine not.” Hannah took a sip of the sweet yet tart drink.

“You’ve told me what led to your departing London before most of the others went to their country homes. Is that all that’s bothering you? Having spoken of it should make you more comfortable, so there must be something you’re hiding.”

“Not hiding, exactly. You’re too dear to me to do so. I didn’t tell you the entire story. You see, after embarrassing myself so horribly at Vauxhall, my brothers’ friend Lord Oakhurst‑you knew him as Mr. Pierce‑asked me to marry him.”

“I recall him being so very pleasant company. Why didn’t you accept his offer? You obviously didn’t hate the idea of leaving home, with as unhappy as you are to be here now.”

Hannah took the end of the ribbon tied around her waist and slipped it through her fingers. “I fear he proposed out of feelings of guilt. He’s so protective of me. He felt he’d let my family down by not preventing Downham from kissing me.”

“I can believe that of him. He used to keep your brothers from teasing you quite often when you were little.”

“He did, didn’t he? He’s my personal Lancelot, I imagine.”

Rebecca raised an eyebrow. “Or is he King Arthur, the faithful, strong and loving husband? Lancelot coveted a woman who wasn’t free to come to him. Lord Oakhurst would never do such a thing.”

Laughing, Hannah said, “You always manage to turn stories into parables. Regardless which character I liken him to it doesn’t change the fact that, had Downham not compromised me, Laurence wouldn’t have proposed.”

“I wonder…”

“You can wonder all you care to, but since he’s already done so, it’s pointless.”

Rebecca swirled the remaining liquid in her glass, watching the movement. “I take it from your lack of excitement, not to mention the fact you neglected to tell me about the proposal until now, you turned him down.”