“I’m really sorry about blabbing Daisy’s name out earlier. I wasn’t thinking and it just slipped out—”
“I should be thanking you. You saved me a difficult conversation. Now it’s sorted and I didn’t have to put my foot in it.”
He was sincere, so she decided to abandon the concern. There was enough angst in this situation without her generating any of her own.
“In that case, happy to be of service.”
“Becoming a bit of a habit, isn’t it? You being of service?”
She could feel her face heating. Where had this sudden propensity for blushing come from?
“Didn’t I tell you? I’m trying to get a merit badge at Girl Guides.”
“So this is like community service?”
“Exactly.”
“I’ve got some laundry that needs doing at home if you want to score your cooking and cleaning badge.”
“Cute,” she said. “But not quite cute enough.”
She noticed a fleck of red on Seth’s thumb, and reached out to catch his wrist, angling his hand toward her. Sure enough, it was speckled with bloody marks.
“Is this from the glass?”
“Yeah. There were a few shards still hanging from the frame so I took care of them.”
“With your bare hands?” she asked incredulously.
“I used a couple of bar towels, but it turns out glass is sharp. Who knew?” His smile was unrepentant.
“Worthy of the Darwin Awards, Anderson.” She realized she was still gripping his wrist and let go.
“I’d barely qualify. Shows what you know.”
A doctor exited the clinical area and they both glanced at him. When she looked at Seth again, his mouth was once again straight and grim.
“When is Lola’s doctor meeting with her parents?”
He pushed back the cuff on his shirt to check his watch. “In about an hour.”
“Does that mean you’ve got time to introduce me to Daisy properly, then?”
His eyebrows rose, as if the idea hadn’t even occurred to him. Or maybe he was simply surprised she was interested.
“Sure. Let me tell Dennis and Melissa where we’ll be.”
He slipped into the clinical area, returning a minute later. She walked alongside him as they left the ward.
“Do you know where the Browns are staying? I’ve got their luggage in my car and I could drop it off for them so they don’t have to lug it around the hospital.”
“Thanks, but you don’t have to do that. We can transfer it into my car,” he said.
“Your little sporty thing?” she asked.
“Believe it or not, it takes luggage.”
“As well as being a chick magnet? Who knew car designers were so practical?”
“You’d be surprised what I’ve been able to fit into that car over the years.”
“Bet I wouldn’t.”
Seth entered the nursery with the ease of familiarity, talking to one of the nurses before gesturing for Vivian to join him on the other side of the glass. They both washed and dried their hands, then Seth led her to the crib holding Daisy.
Curled on her side, Seth’s daughter was a study in pink, cream and gold, her tiny mouth puckered, her hands fisted tightly. Someone had put a soft-looking pink-and-white striped hat onto her head, but a few curls of golden hair had slipped out.
“A blonde. That’s going to be fun for you when she’s sixteen.”
“You mean when she’s thirty.”
Vivian smiled. “If she takes after you, she will give you one hell of a run for your money. Poetic justice, considering how many fathers you’ve probably given sleepless nights over the years.”
“You want to hold her or not?” he asked.
“Am I allowed to do that?” She glanced around, waiting for a nurse to offer a ruling on the issue.
“Believe it or not, she likes it. Crazy, I know.” Without further ado, Seth reached into the crib and gently slid his hand under Daisy’s neck and head before lifting her. He performed the action so confidently, Vivian had to blink.
“What’s wrong?” Seth asked.
“I just realized you’re a dad now.”
He smiled faintly, and she knew he understood what she meant.
“Yeah. I am.”
He offered the baby to her, and she slipped her hand beneath Daisy’s head, necessarily standing close to him as they made the transfer. An odd sort of warmth came over her as her forearm brushed his chest and his fingers grazed her rib cage as he ever-so-carefully passed his daughter into her care. Not sexual warmth, something else. Something more generous and unfathomable.
“Hello, little girl,” she said.
The baby wriggled, curving into the shape of her torso. Daisy’s mouth worked, then her lids flickered and she woke. Deep blue eyes stared at Vivian, their regard so uncompromising and compelling Vivian couldn’t look away. She was powerfully aware of how frighteningly frail and slight Daisy was, how small and defenseless, how completely, utterly dependent on the goodwill of others she was. And yet she stared at Vivian with not a shred of fear.
She hadn’t learned to be afraid yet, which struck Vivian as being a wonderful thing.
And long may it be so.
“Aren’t you just perfect,” she whispered.
“She has awesome genes,” Seth said.
She glanced at him dazedly. She’d forgotten he was with her for a few seconds there. Tradition demanded that she make some quip or crack—maybe a dig about Lola’s awesome genes compensating for his, or something like that—yet she couldn’t bring herself to do anything but smile goofily.
“I’m going to have to agree with you.”
Daisy still watched Vivian with the same intense, slightly unfocused regard, as though she was trying to place her face or recall something she’d heard earlier.
“What’s going on in that little head of yours, sweetheart? What are you thinking?”
“She’s splitting the atom,” Seth said. “If only she could speak.”
“She will soon enough, don’t you worry,” Vivian said. “If she’s anything like Sam and Max, you’ll have trouble getting her to stop.”
She handed Daisy over after a few minutes, then watched as Seth put her down to sleep. They were silent as they left.
“I know that none of this is even close to being planned, Seth, but she’s amazing. There’s no way you can regret helping her come into the world.”
“I know. She’s already the best thing I ever did and she’s only five days old.” It was his turn to smile like a goof. He looked so endearing, hopeful and uncertain that this time she couldn’t stop herself from giving him a hug. He hugged her a little more tightly than she’d expected. It was only then that she understood how worried and alone he was feeling.
Was it any wonder? A veritable storm of trauma had been raining on him since Saturday night. He was doing a damned good job of doing all the right things and covering all bases, but he was only human.
All it took was that single moment of insight, and last night’s resolution to keep her distance burned to ash faster than she could snap her fingers. He and Daisy needed all the friends they could get, and Vivian intended to be one of them.
It wasn’t a choice. It was simply the way it would be, because she couldn’t turn her back on this man and his daughter. Not if her life depended on it.
And if that meant she would have to keep a close guard on her emotions...well, so be it.
* * *
S
ETH
HAD
TO
force himself to release Vivian. She felt so good, and there was something about the straightness of her spine and the strength in her arms that made him want to stop and stay a while. A day or two, perhaps, while this crazy, chaotic sadness whirled around them.
But that wasn’t possible, and this chaos was his to deal with, not hers.
A timely reminder.
“Show me where your car is and we’ll sort out the luggage,” he said finally.
She looked a little surprised by the abrupt shift in conversation, but led him to the parking lot and pointed toward where her car was located.
“I’ll come find you in a minute,” he said.
She cast a questioning look his way before heading for her car. He watched her go. He’d always admired her walk, the sass and confidence of it. It was one of the first things he’d noticed about her. That, and her sexy body.
It had taken him a lot longer to notice her quieter qualities, like her kindness and generosity. Over the years, he’d listened to Jodie rave about the clothes Vivian had sent home for her, and he’d watch her engage and play with her nephews. But the true extent of Vivian’s generosity and care for her loved ones had hit home for him only in the past week. She was a giver, one of those people who showered her friends and family with gifts she’d picked up because she’d “seen it and thought of them.” She wasn’t precious or afraid of pitching in and rolling up her shirtsleeves. He bet she hadn’t hesitated when Jodie had asked her to pick up Dennis and Melissa today. Even though his dumb-ass behavior had ensured that they’d parted in less than stellar fashion last night, and even though he’d said all those ugly things about her to his brother when he’d been flailing around in his own excrement.
Frankly, he was lucky she’d given him the time of day, let alone gone out of her way to help him.
He went to his own car, then drove through the lot until he spotted Vivian standing next to her SUV.
She eyed his Audi with a speculative gaze as he climbed out. “You know, we could do a trade if you like. My SUV for your TT.”
“Like that’s going to happen.”
“Think about it and get back to me,” she said, opening the rear hatch of her car.
He told himself not to look as she leaned forward to tug a case closer to the edge, but he’d been unable to stop himself from noticing a nice ass since he was in high school and it seemed he wasn’t about to learn the skill now.
“Want to give me hand here, Man of the Year?”
“Right. Sorry.”
He gave himself a mental slap. He’d just been chastising himself for misjudging and undervaluing her, and at the very first opportunity he’d reverted to knuckle-dragging, drooling-idiot mode. Way to go.
He grabbed the case, brushing past her as he hefted it. She glanced at him quickly then, just as quickly, looked away. He transferred the first bag to his car, then the second, wedging in the two overnight bags. He had to push one side of the tiny rear seat forward to accommodate the luggage, but there would still be room for Melissa or Dennis to origami themselves into the rear while the other sat up front with him.
“Call me when you want to do the car swap,” Vivian said knowingly.
He eyed her, standing there in the afternoon sun, her hair glinting red and gold. Her eyes were slightly squinted against the brightness of the day, and her mouth was curved into a cocky, smart-ass smile.
“I was a dick last night,” he said. “I’m sorry for putting the moves on you. It was dumb, and a really crappy way to repay you for all your help.”
It wasn’t quite the eloquent, articulate apology he’d had planned, but it was out there now and he would have to make the best of it.
Her smile faded. “You don’t need to apologize. It was a misunderstanding. Crossed wires. No one needs to be doing the whole mea culpa thing.”
“It was still a dumb-ass move. You’ve been really great, helping me out with everything. Trying to make it something else was...dumb.”
“Honestly? I was a little curious myself.” She glanced at her shoes briefly. “I wouldn’t have been in your pool in my bra and panties if I wasn’t. So I apologize if I sent some mixed signals. Apparently all your prettiness went to my head for a few seconds.”
Seth studied her. He knew at least a dozen women who would have taken his apology and run with it, but that wasn’t good enough for Vivian. No, she had to step up and own her part. Because that was who she was, honest and fair to a fault.
“I’m not sure you should be letting me off the hook,” he said slowly.
“It was probably bound to happen, sooner or later, given our history.” She made a helpless gesture with her hand. “But the bright side is, we both know where we stand now, right?”
“Yeah.”
He didn’t miss the not-so-hidden meaning beneath her words. She was drawing a line in the sand, letting him know she wouldn’t be jumping into his pool in her underwear again in the near future. Which was probably just as well. His life was complicated enough.
She shut the hatch, the thunk echoing. “I should let you get back to Dennis and Melissa.”
He was aware that the debt he owed her grew larger by the hour. About the only thing keeping pace with it was his growing awareness of how much he liked her. On every level.
“Thanks for saving my bacon. Again.”
“I happen to have a great fondness for bacon.” She patted his arm in what he could only describe as a friendly manner and slid into her car. The window slid down as she started the ignition. “I meant to say, I have a gorgeous cashmere throw blanket that would be perfect for Daisy’s room. I’ll leave it with Jodie or drop it by when I get the chance.”
“Thanks. I’m sure she’ll love it.”
“Look after yourself, Seth.”
He watched as she reversed and drove off. Despite the many other things he’d had to worry about, last night had been weighing on him, and it was good to know that they were okay.
He glanced toward the hospital, aware of a bone-deep reluctance to go inside. It said something that he’d rather broil beneath the harsh sun than have to deal with Lola’s heartsick parents. But he couldn’t avoid reality forever. Letting his breath out in a long sigh, he headed for the main entrance.
Dennis and Melissa were still with Lola when he returned to the ICU, sitting by her bedside, their red eyes and set faces revealing the depths of their grief. He wondered if, like him, they had recognized that Lola—the essence of her, the spirit of her—was no longer in residence in the body. Over the past few days, everything about her had diminished. Her skin had sunken into the bones of her face, her complexion had turned grey. Modern medicine was keeping her alive—breathing for her, feeding her, ensuring wastes were eliminated—but the spark of life that made Lola Lola was gone.
“We’ve got a few minutes until the doctor’s due. Do you want to come see Daisy?” he said.
Melissa nodded mutely, and Seth took them to the nursery and introduced them to their grandchild.