Authors: Albert Cohen
'You look as pretty as a princess, you know.'
'My breasts are half bare,' she said, still with her back to him but looking directly at her husband in the mirror. 'Only the nipples are hidden. Doesn't that bother you?'
'But darling, they're not half bare. It's more like a third.'
'If I lean forward, it's half.'
'Then don't lean forward. Anyway, plunging necklines are considered perfectly suitable for evening wear.'
'And would you mind if it was considered perfectly suitable to show the whole lot?' she asked, and in the mirror she gave him another direct, masculine look.
'What on earth are you getting at, for goodness sake?'
'The truth. Do you want me to make them pop out when I meet this man?'
'Ariane!' he exclaimed, appalled. 'Why are you saying such horrible things?'
'Very well, I'll only show him the top half,' she said coolly. 'The bit that's suitable and seemly.'
There was a silence and he looked at the carpet. Why did she go on looking, staring, glaring at him like this? For God's sake, at the smartest balls the most fashionable women wore low necklines. So what? The best plan would be to change the subject, especially since it was now seven forty-two.
'Shall we go, darling? We've just enough time.'
'I'll
go, and I'll bring my half-moons with me.'
Took, you will be nice to him?' he asked, after forcing a little cough.
'What am I supposed to do for him?'
'Just be a little bit nice, that's all, join in the conversation, be pleasant.'
'It's no good, I've made up my mind. I shan't be coming,' she said with a smile to her mirror.
She turned round quickly. Her dress flared. He stared at her open-mouthed and he felt the flesh on his cheek crawl. Two thousand francs, two thousand francs for the cigarette-case, and this was the thanks he got!
'But why, in hell's name? Why?'
'Because I don't feel like being just a little bit nice.'
'Darling, I beg you! Look, don't spoil this dinner party for me! What sort of fool will I look like if I turn up by myself? Darling, my whole career is on the line here! It's now fourteen minutes to eight, you can't do this to me at the last minute! For heaven's sake, have pity! See some sense!'
She looked at him, at his wispy beard, at the dinner-jacket which fitted too well, as he begged and pleaded with a hint of a sob, probably manufactured, in his voice, wringing his hands, his lower Up pendulous and trembling, just like a baby about to burst into tears.
'I won't go,' she repeated, and with the same twirling flare of her dress she turned back to her mirror. 'Come along, look sharp, otherwise you'll be late and he'll tell you off. Come on, go and make some more personal contacts, get yourself another pat on the back, a nice hefty pat, that's how you like them isn't it, a real personal contact! Go on, tell him you're stuck at the top of your grade! Give him your doe-eyed look!'
'You're horrible, absolutely horrible!' he shouted, and he saw her watching him in the mirror, eyes gleaming with savage glee. 'Damn you!' he shouted and left, slamming the door behind him.
She smiled at her reflection and stepped back so that she could see herself full-length. The neck of her dress was so daringly low that waggling her shoulders to the right and then to the left was enough to make her breasts spill out, one after the other. Through half-closed eyes she examined them: they were resolute and primed. 'In doe-eyed ecstasy,' she murmured.
CHAPTER 33
'It's nice like this stretched out on the floor no cushion under my head it relaxes me better than bed, can't really imagine dying, funny me being so fond of lying on the floor staring up at the ceiling with my mouth open and then letting my crazy thoughts wander well pretending to, I love it, just as the rising tide seeps into the dry crumbly sand and then recedes leaving it grey and heavy and damp, so a tide of tears rises inside me and floods into my eyes and makes them all red and then the tide recedes sinks down inside me leaving my heart as heavy as the wet sand, that's not bad I must write it down, I think it would be really smart to have a white crêpe evening dress with cape effect framing a deep neckline and the hem arranged in such a way that the whole thing swings and sways with me as I walk, delicious sleeping together with our arms around each other, I'll never stop loving my Varvara if you've loved someone you'll go on loving them forever
semel semper,
oh yes clever-clogs I know a bit of Latin I doubt if you can say as much you probably know Arabic and Turkish, I really let him have it, he begged and begged the poor boy was almost in tears I was quite beastly all the things I said the pat on the back the personal contacts, I can't very well let him go away for three months remembering me sneering at him, I'll have to put it right, so best go to this Ritz thing since he so set his heart on it he'll be so pleased to see me when I get there I'll say my migraine's better I'll be nice to him I'll sit down beside him, I'll be polite to the man for Adrien's sake darling do you really promise terrific coincidence really, according to old Ventradour God is an ever-present help to her in all things so why doesn't He send her a better class of maid why does He go on bombarding her with cheeky little chits actually she thanks God for the nice things He does for her and is too polite to mention any of the unpleasant things from which He fails to preserve her in His capricious unfathomable ways, instead of saying seeing that Antoinette always says seeing as how for which I would gladly throtde her, yes with that foul man I'll be polite on account of Adrien his career and the rest of it, it will be a sacrifice a chance to redeem myself, polite but frosty, the brute will understand that Adrien was my only reason for coming, I'll go with him to the station, I'll say thank you for the gold cigarette-case it's far too heavy but naturally not a word on that score kiss him several times on the platform just before he gets on to the train, stay on the platform until the train starts moving, smile and wave my hand, in short do the necessary so that he goes away bearing fond memories, right then go and have a bath but I'm so comfy like this on the floor not dressed talking to myself I love talking to myself, in any case I larrupped horsewhipped him all over his bare back it bleeds it raises welts good thing whack I didn't say anything about the brute otherwise awful wedded husband would have been forced to challenge brute to duel result poor Didi dead, that wouldn't have been fair at all, turn up with just a dab of powder and nothing else, how can they bear to put red varnish on their nails it's disgusting, say headache's better but be frosty to the man, what a moron dressing up in that stupid disguise, hey don't put your legs in the air like that, it's not ladylike, poor sweet he'd have been devastated if he'd had to go off on his travels without seeing his wifey again the younger Madame Deume, Madame Deume junior, I don't even know my registers, that's what they say for it in Switzerland, I talk Swiss sometimes, in France they say multiplication tables which is better, I know the easy ones like twice three and three times four, I have these crazy urges to say rude words it's because I was brought up properly, the ones I don't know are the horrible ones seven eights and nine sevens, with them I have to do adding up, when I get there dinner will be over, because I refuse to be the guest of Ali Rum Baba out of the question, it's enough that I should turn up for the sake, of my awful wedded to make amends, I'm glad I nearly knocked his eye out, old Mother Deume trying to make an impression at the Kanakises' dinner party but unable to think of anything to say to the said Kanakises who were so snooty and clubby and the literary conversation was entirely over her head too, so bending over her plate she pecked away with a smile on her face smiling with a knowing look on her face a look that implied she was thinking of something highly amusing, a knowing delicate little smile suggesting the height of sophistication, the smile of a countess lost in her own thoughts which were so fascinating so perky-bright that she had no time for other people's chatter, suggesting the height of self-sufficiency, but in reality utterly humiliated and suffering torments at the thought of not being able to contribute to the lively conversation which was in fact quite quite inane, her breasts must be awful can't stop thinking about them, always go for soft materials plain colours not patterns, stick to black anthracite grey white avoid brown and beige at all costs, come along have a quick bath then get ready look my best so that he, to please him, so that he carries away a pleasant memory of me on his train, poor boy he deserves it, quick your bath, the thoroughbred mares beloved of the winds in remotest Scythia are not more sad or more untamed than you on evenings when northerly breezes die away, I love those words, yes leave him with a pleasant memory, a bath with sweet-smelling bath salts, the white silk dress, do hair carefully, and then ring for taxi, Aix-en-Provence remember the hot-water springs with mossy green beards, the caryatids, the carved oak doors, the little grinning figures on the roofs at the ends of the fluted bronze gutterings, me and Éliane when we were little we dug a hole in Tantieme's garden, a secret hidey-hole, we wrote down the instructions showing its location in a Bible, so many centimetres longitude north of the japonica, in it we put bits of glass chocolate paper an old key photos of both of us some coins a peacock feather what we called 'sea-biscuits' in case of famine a chocolate bear a curtain ring we said was a wedding ring for when I grew up, and when we'd filled the hole in we quarrelled and I hit Éliane and then we made up we kissed and made up and we used the blood from her nose to write a tragic letter about the sinking of the three-masted schooner
The Shark,
we collected the drips from her nose in a spoon then we dipped a pen in it and took turns to write, I wrote I'll dig up the buried treasure on our desert island the day I get married and I'll put the ring on my loving husband's finger, and then we wrote resolutions, we wrote the words backwards so that they were secret, resolutions about going in for spiritual uplift, that was an expression we knew because Tantlérie used it a lot, and afterwards we reopened the hidey-hole to put the tragic letter in, I'm bored, once upon a time in Arabia there was once really it's true there was a great big huge elephant and it's quite true a tiny little midget ant, and Nastrine the Ant said hello great big huge elephant and the elephant who had a short tail and big ears William I think he was called and the elephant said O tiny little weary midget climb up on'my back I won't get tired honest and I'll carry you home and Nastrine said oh thank you nice great big huge elephant you are very kind you know and then the ant said oh I haven't a clue what the ant said down with Jews perhaps oh the whip lashing and the back flinching, the head sinking into shoulders and the nails sinking into palms, the blood dripping thickly and the hate feeding on itself which might be love and the foot that loses its footing and the endless falling falling whatever am I saying now for that bath don't go in a hat wear the white dress white goddess sort of yes it's long and full and long and full is altogether much more elegant than tight and narrow also much more stylish neckline not too low quite severe really except for the bare arms of course my thrilling golden arms and my very long white gloves setting off the gold of my arms delicious white satin slippers in a word tasteful and perfect shan't wear tight and narrow ever again only long and full in satin or crêpe oh the poor boy will be so pleased to see me again I was utterly bitchy to him bitchy bitchy very witchy but stay by his side until his train goes blow him kisses with my hand as the train starts good-evening how are you I just wanted to say hello I haven't got much time I've got to join my husband at a do given by some horrible man from the L of N come come you're not being very sensible.'
CHAPTER 34
'Two hundred francs a day if it's a penny, maybe more, I mean to say an entire suite, with de-luxe drawing-room and, so Kanakis reckons, dining-room as well, but that can't be right, he just wanted to give the impression he was in the know, but even so a whole suite of rooms, and in a five-star hotel, no it must add up to more than two hundred a day plus the extras which don't come cheap in five-star hotels breakfast meals in the restaurant laundry barber taxes tips, and on top of that wages and expenses for the personal valet and the chauffeur, the Annamite valet kitted out with a white linen jacket smart as smart the whole lot must cost at least, but we can work that out later when there's more time, of course he can afford to do himself proud on the money he gets, I mean take the restaurant bill he just signed without even looking at it, and the hundred-dollar note he gave the head waiter as a tip can you credit it, all in all dinner went off rather well, it was downstairs in the restaurant, still perhaps Kanakis is right perhaps there is a dining-room too but in that case why the restaurant, probably more practical for two the service is quicker, perhaps he only uses the dining-room for official dinners, anyhow the dinner went off a treat he took it well when I spun that tale about a headache and how sorry she was she couldn't make it, he might have been cross but no, just a smile as he looked at me and he said 'Of course', but what did he really mean by that, still the whole thing couldn't have gone better, really super-duper dinner-do, though I wasn't in the right frame of mind to make the most of it, I must say he turned on the charm for me, even the business of leaving me here by myself while he's changing into his dressing-gown, you might say that was a bit odd and you'd be right, but it was also considerate very decent of him treating me like a friend, and downstairs just now he couldn't have been more attentive did I like this and did I prefer that, marvellous dinner too, the
cuisine
couldn't have been more
haute,
but when we play the return fixture he won't regret it, when I get back from my official visit we'll lay on a slap-up do for him, we can think about it we've plenty of time for that, meanwhile I've eaten too much, it was his fault, he ordered half the menu and it was really all just for me, he hardly touched a thing, just smoked and drank champagne, but I was obliged to stuff myself, could hardly do otherwise, just to be polite.'