Authors: Jennifer Ryan
“Was it hard to adjust to college life?”
“I tried to take it all in, but everything overwhelmed me. I’d never been inside a classroom. I didn’t know the procedure for doing homework. I’d never used a computer. Being smart helped. I learned things quickly. My professors were told that I’d need extra help. Each of them had a meeting with me and went over what I needed to know and how to do things. They all had student assistants. I used those people a lot to answer my many questions. I embarrassed myself more times than I can count, but I got through it.”
“Now you’re a computer wizard, a mad scientist, and a hell of a doctor.”
She laughed. “Something like that.”
“What was your favorite class?”
“Psychology. I learned a lot about people in that class. I’d never had access to any kind of books like those. Why people do things interested me.”
“You had a lot of questions about the people in your life and all the different people you discovered at school. You needed a way to sort it all out.”
“I spent a lot of time during the semester with my psychology teacher. She was really great. I still keep in touch with her.” She didn’t admit to having seen the psychologist on a regular basis throughout those years. He didn’t need to know how hard it had been to cope.
“You impressed her with your insights, right?”
“I didn’t have the same background as others, so my perspective on things was fresh and different. She enjoyed listening to my take on different topics. We collaborated on a paper.”
“You got published with your professor.”
“Several of them. I loved school. I thought I might want to be a teacher, but socially that would have been difficult for me.”
“Why? You’re nice. You listen to people. You work with patients.”
“That’s different. The doctor-patient relationship is very short and exact. I assess them, diagnose them, fix them, and send them on their way. There is nothing personal, and only my medical knowledge is of importance. It’s the personal stuff I have a hard time sharing. I can’t believe I’m talking to you about any of this.”
“Why? We’re friends.”
“One conversation makes us friends?”
“This one does. Besides, this isn’t our first personal conversation. We had those other ones in the hospital and on the plane. You may not be good with other people, but you’re great with me.”
“It’s late. I’m tired. I must be out of my mind to encourage you.”
“No encouragement needed. I called you. As much as I want to keep talking to you and listening to your sweet voice, my meds have kicked in, and I’m exhausted.”
“You’ve had a long day. You’re still healing. You need your rest.”
“I’m comfy on my new couch. I think I’ll crash here instead of trying to make it up the stairs on my own. I still haven’t seen the bedroom furniture my parents got me.”
“Didn’t you already have a room at home?”
“Yep, but everything was from my childhood. I’m too big to be sleeping in a twin bed anymore. My feet hang off the end. It was okay for the few times I crashed here when I came home, but they wanted me to have something new now that I live here full-time. New bed. New life. Thanks to you.”
“I had nothing to do with the bed, or you choosing a new kind of life.”
“I have a life because of you, Bell. I’m so glad you’re real and a part of my new life. I can’t stop thinking about you. I wish you were here.”
“I’m going to blame those little gems on your meds.”
“Not the meds. Just you. So, will you have dinner with me?”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. You’re my patient.”
“Don’t make me get another doctor just for a date.”
“That’s just it, Dane, I’m not just a date. I’ll never be the woman who is just a date. Get some rest. I’ll see you next week.”
Bell hung up and sighed, staring at her cramped little room with the floor-to-ceiling books stacked so tightly together that she couldn’t see the walls. Her grandfather had hoarded the books. She loved them as much as he had. She wanted to open another now and lose herself in another world. Too bad the only world she wanted to be a part of was Dane’s.
Dane gripped his
phone so tightly his fingers ached. He wanted to chuck it across the room. Instead, he tossed it on the new wood coffee table beside him and stared up at the ceiling.
Frustrated she didn’t get it, he smacked his fist against the back of the couch. “Fuck.”
Didn’t she see how hard he was trying to get to know her? Didn’t she see how much effort he’d put into talking to her tonight? Wasn’t it enough that he’d gone out of his way to get hold of her? She had to know that meant something. Right?
No. Because she’d never dated anyone. She’d never had a relationship with a man.
Wait. Hold it. Shit. She’d never had a relationship with a man.
Well, damn, that put a whole new spin on things. He hadn’t thought of it in those terms. He understood her background, but he hadn’t put it into the context of dating her. Like his mother said, she’d never gone to high school, been asked to a dance, gone on a date, or worked her way through all those awkward teenage moments of a first kiss and . . .
Has she ever had sex?
That thought stopped him in his tracks. Could she possibly be in her midtwenties and still be a virgin?
He felt protective of her. He didn’t want some other asshole coming into her life and having all those experiences with her. He didn’t want anyone to hurt her because they didn’t understand where she’d come from and how much she’d overcome.
He admired her hard work to change her life. He wished it had been normal, but he wanted to give her better. Yep. She made him want to be better for her. Could he be her friend, date her, introduce her to things she’d gone without all this time, and not fuck it up? Not mess her up even more?
He reached over his head, turned off the new wrought-iron lamp, and lay in the darkness, contemplating his options. Only one would do. He wanted her in his life. He wanted a real relationship with her. He’d figure out a way to make it happen and hope he didn’t make too many mistakes. It would be a new experience for both of them.
B
ell took the chart from the holder on the door and read the name. Dane Bowden. Just that was enough to make her stomach and heart flutter with anticipation and bring up all her memories of the calls they’d shared over the last week. He contacted her every night at nine-thirty, just like that first night. They spent a few minutes, a half hour, an hour, and sometimes longer on the phone. They talked about their day, their childhoods—though he gave up far more details about that than she did. He told wonderful stories about growing up with his brothers. Fishing and camping trips. Riding horses. School with his friends. High school sweethearts and heartbreaks. Big details and little ones. He shared them all. Every one of them she soaked up, drawing closer and closer to him.
Dangerous territory.
In the back of her mind, she questioned why he pursued her. What made him want to talk to her? Why did he choose her to share these pieces of himself with?
He said he wanted to have a relationship with her. But what kind of a relationship? A romantic one?
She sucked it up, took a deep breath to calm the butterflies in her gut, and knocked on the door.
“Come on in,” Dane called.
She opened the door and steeled herself to see him again. Did the man have to be that good-looking? She saw all kinds of people, but none as handsome as him. No one had that dazzling smile.
“Hey, Doc. You made it.”
“Sorry I’m late. I got held up at the hospital for a consult in the ER.” She glanced at his sister. “Ella, so nice to see you.”
“You, too. I’m your next appointment.”
“I saw that. Are you okay?”
“Fine. I just wanted to talk to you about my Crystal Creek Clinic project, so I made an appointment.”
“Uh, okay.” Bell turned to Dane and noticed there wasn’t a wheelchair in the room. “How did you get here?”
“Ella drove me in. Why?”
“No. I mean, where is the wheelchair?”
“I can’t stand that thing. Gave it up two days ago.” He pointed to the door and the pair of crutches leaning against the wall.
“You’re using your crutches already?”
“Moving makes me feel better. Sore, but in a good way.”
“What did your regular doctor have to say about your ribs?”
“I don’t have another doctor. You’re my doctor.”
“Dane, you’re supposed to see your general practitioner to oversee your case.”
“I’m seeing you. You’re the only doctor I want and will see. So you check me out. Tell me what you think.”
She pressed her lips together to stop the smile. The man got to her every time. Smart, he used the double meaning of his words to say one thing and mean another. She liked his quick wit.
She shook her head and resisted the urge to scold him like a little boy who couldn’t take this seriously.
“Raise your arms until it hurts your ribs.” She waited and noted that he didn’t flinch but raised his arms all the way up. “Not bad. How’s the pain level?”
“My ribs ache, but not that bad. They’ve gotten a lot better.”
She moved and stood in front of him.
“You smell good,” he said.
Ella laughed. “Give her a break, charmer. Let her do her job before you flirt with her.”
“I like flirting with her. She can still check me out.”
“I give up,” Ella said, leaning back in her seat.
Bell rubbed her fingers over Dane’s cracked ribs. He flinched and pressed his arm to his side to get her to stop.
“Okay, Doc. I’ll be good.”
“How much have you been up and using the crutches?”
“Not that much.”
“He was in the stables feeding the horses, using one crutch,” Ella said.
Bell frowned and narrowed her eyes.
“Ah, come on, don’t give me that face. I’m fine.”
Mad and scared for him, she grabbed the X-ray off the counter and slipped it into the light-box holder.
“You’re fine? Are you sure about that?” She turned the light-box on and watched his face register the shock when he saw the plates, screws, and wires holding his shattered bone together. “Now tell me that you’re fine. Tell me that if you stumbled on that one crutch and put your foot down to take your weight, you’d be fine. That the bone I spent hours repairing is strong enough even with all my hard work to support your two-hundred-pound frame.”
“You told me, but I really had no idea.”
“Now you do. I told you to rest. Let the bone and muscle heal. But you can’t do what you’re told. I’ll bet your thigh muscles ache from overcompensating for the other muscles in your leg.”
“They do.”
“Well, at least you’re honest about that.”
“I swear, Doc. I’ll be a better patient.”
“No, you won’t. Lucky for you, the bone is healing well. You’ve had no fever or infection. While that does not give you permission to ignore my directive, you haven’t done any further damage.”
“I swear, Bell, I’ve been very careful.”
He’d switched to using her name, hoping she’d understand and not scold him again. He got it now. Seeing the proof of the damage changed things for him.
“Careful isn’t good enough, Dane. You need to rest that leg. Have you been icing it?”
“Every night.”
“The swelling should be better. Let’s take a look.”
Dane swung sideways and rested his leg on the table. Bell undid the straps and opened the brace. She didn’t move his foot, ankle, or leg, but carefully undid the bandages over his stitches.
“Have you been changing the bandages and cleaning the incisions?”
“Yes, twice a day just like you instructed and the nurse at the hospital showed me.”
“These look good. I’ll take the stitches out. That should help with the itching.”
“Thank God. Finally, some progress.”
“You are making progress, but it’s going to take weeks to heal completely. I feel like I’m repeating myself. I say the same thing to you over and over, but you don’t listen.”
“You won’t have to again. I swear.”
“You better, or I’ll call Gabe and have him take your crutches away from you,” she threatened.
Outraged, he sucked in a breath and glared. “You wouldn’t.”
She raised one eyebrow. “Wanna bet.”
“Ella, make her stop,” he pleaded.
“Do what she says, and she won’t sick big brother on you.” Ella gave Bell a firm nod.
“Why are you feeding the horses? Don’t you have someone to do that?”
“Blake stops by and helps out. I’ve got two guys working on the ranch, but I wanted to work. Hell, I wanted to do something besides sit on my ass all day.”
“One more week. Then I’ll reevaluate the bones. Then maybe . . . maybe I’ll let you start walking on it. What I mean by that is I’ll let you begin putting pressure on it while using the crutches. You will not take off on a 5K run.”
“How about I take you for a ride?”
“What?”
“Horseback riding.”
“Let’s stick with walking on your leg for now.”
Bell’s gaze dropped away, a hint of fear in her eyes. Horseback riding frightened her. He’d help her get past that, but not now. When he was better and she wasn’t worried about him and getting on a horse. All he wanted to do was spend time alone with her. A chance to really get to know her and for her to get to know him. “I’d love it if you came to my place. I’ll make dinner. We’ll watch a movie.”
She wrapped her arms around her middle. “I’m working every night for the next week at the clinic.” The hesitation in her voice gave him hope.
“Come for breakfast.”
She laughed and shook her head. “Can we do the whole doctor-patient visit? Let’s get that done.”
“You’re killing me, Doc, and making me look bad in front of my sister.”
“You’ve really lost your game since you fell off that bull,” Ella said, deadpan. “It’s sad, really. What would all your buddies say?”
“Kiss her and get it over with,” he suggested.
Bell took a step back and put up her hand. “I am not kissing my patient.”
“I’m just teasing,” he said to reassure her. “Take these stitches out, then we’ll go to lunch.”
“You’re incorrigible.”
“I love it when you use those big words.”
She rolled her eyes, but he got her to smile again. As much as she resisted, she liked the attention. If she didn’t, he’d stop. Well, he’d try to convince her in a different way.
She set the tray of supplies on the table between his legs and pulled on her latex gloves.
“Man, that is really something.” Dane stared at the long scars down his leg.
“They’ll fade over time.”
“There’s a spot down by my ankle. It tingles sometimes, but when I touch it, it always feels numb.” He rubbed his finger over it.
“Nerve damage. The feeling might come back over time.”
“Right. I need to let it heal and see what happens, right?”
“I know you’re frustrated and bored, but you need to find something to do that doesn’t require you to walk or stand.”
He rolled his eyes and sighed out his frustration. “Right. I’ll spend my days binge watching
The Walking Dead
and
Breaking Bad
.”
“Uh, okay.”
He cocked up one side of his mouth. “You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”
“No.”
“Do you own a TV?”
“No.”
“What do you do in your spare time?”
“I read. I hike. I take care of my ailing grandmother.” Not her favorite thing to do, but the woman did raise her. She was sick and required Bell’s care. She’d provided for Bell out of family obligation. Bell returned the favor. Not out of love or devotion but out of human decency. Despite how she’d been treated, Bell’s conscience wouldn’t allow her to turn her back on the only person who’d kept her. “I work.”
“Have you ever been to a movie?”
“All the time. I love movies. No commercials. Like a book, I want the story to flow without interruption.”
“Who do you go to the movies with?” The question sounded more like a demand. The feral look in his eyes took her aback. Why did he care?
“I go alone.”
“You go alone? To the movies?” Dane and Ella glanced at each other, a mix of sadness and disbelief.
Yes, she was one of those rare oddities who sat alone at a restaurant table and in the middle of the theater. She’d learned to ignore the pity stares and enjoy herself. She didn’t want to hide away anymore.
Embarrassed by their stares and pity, she re-dressed his leg and strapped the brace back into place. Better to turn this meeting back into a patient visit and steer clear of her personal life. Every time he pointed out all the things she didn’t do like other people, it made her feel even more isolated and lonely.
She tried to make friends, but it never turned out well. Inevitably, she made some social faux pas. She missed references to things she didn’t know about. The jokes would start. How can someone so smart be so stupid? Of course they said it behind her back—mostly—but she got it. Too sensitive, she usually couldn’t stand to be the butt of other people’s jokes, because they felt threatened by how smart she was—academically.
“Hey, Doc, I lost you.” Dane’s deep voice pulled her out of her head, where she got lost often.
“Uh, sorry. We’re all done. How are the pain meds holding up?”
“Fine. I’ve got them spread out to five hours apart.”
“If you actually rested, you’d spread that out even more. Let me know if you need a refill.” She turned to face Ella. “Would you like to take the meeting into my office?”
“Sounds good. Dane, you can wait in the lobby if you don’t want to listen to all this stuff about the clinic.”
“And miss out on staring at the doc some more? No way. Let’s go check out the doc’s office.”
“It’s nothing special.”
“Let’s see.” Dane slid off the table onto his good leg and hopped over to the crutches.
Bell stopped beside him. “Wow, you’re really tall. I don’t think I’ve actually stood beside you.”
He stared down at her from his six foot height to her much shorter five-six frame. “You’re a little bit of a thing, but I like that.”
“No, you don’t. You like tall, leggy, busty blondes.”
“I used to like them. I have better taste now.”
Bell rolled her eyes, passed him, and walked down the hall. Ella followed her with her own expressive eye roll and wink. Maybe he shouldn’t say things like that to Bell, but he loved seeing the expression on her face. Every time, for just a split second, she believed him—or at least wanted to believe him.
He waited every minute of the day for the clock to strike nine-thirty so he could call her, hear her voice, listen to her tell him about her day. Over the last six days, she’d gotten more comfortable. The awkwardness dissipated but never quite disappeared. She kept parts of herself closed off because she was always afraid to say the wrong thing. When she did, he politely corrected her or steered her to the proper term or jargon. She made him smile when he used a reference to pop culture that went right over her head. She amazed him with her knowledge about, of all things, tomatoes. Off the top of her head, she’d named a dozen different varieties, their taste, growing season, size, hybrid versus heirloom, and various colors. All because he’d told her the tomato on his sandwich tasted bitter and underripe. Next year, he planned to get her to help him start a garden and plant some of those tomatoes. When he asked her how she knew so much, she told him she read a book about it once. One of her grandfather’s. She barely remembered the man, but the few memories she shared with him were filled with love and adoration for the one and only person who’d been kind to her as a child.
In Las Vegas, she’d worn casual clothes. Jeans, T-shirts, even a pretty blouse. Here, she kept things to business attire. He loved her deep purple slacks and cream top. She chose bright colors that set off her eyes. Light makeup in a soft pink. Nothing showy. Natural. She didn’t need anything more. Today, she’d combed her bangs back into curls and spikes that gave her an edgy look but still made her face look soft. God, that face. He thought about her all the time. He couldn’t get her off his mind. She didn’t look anything like the other women he’d dated. She’d been dead-on about that, but she appealed to every one of his senses. She smelled like wildflowers and hand sanitizer. He loved looking at her soft curves and watching her walk with that purposeful stride. She really had no idea how pretty she was, or how she drew every man’s eye. As they passed another patient, he smiled, and Bell nodded her acknowledgement. Dane glared at the guy. He looked away immediately.