Authors: Jennifer Ryan
“Do you find me attractive?”
Bell’s gaze fell to his chest and arms, then back up to his face. She realized she’d been caught staring at his body, bit her lip, and looked everywhere but at him. “Uh, yeah. You don’t need me to tell you how gorgeous you are. Every woman who’s ever laid eyes on you has told you.”
“Let’s stick to you and me. Forget all them. I have.”
“Right.”
He touched his finger to her chin and made her turn to look at him. “I forgot about them the moment I met you. The only woman I care about and want to be with is you. Only you.” He’d let some of his frustration out in his voice without meaning to, but she had to hear how much he meant those words and how hard it was for him to say them.
“Maybe it would help you believe me if you knew we both have something in common.”
“What?” she asked.
“This is new for me and you. Can you cut me a small break and believe that what we have is different and new to me? I’m trying to do this right. I’ll make some mistakes, probably have already, but I’m trying, Bell.
“If you find me attractive and like me, how about we try an experiment that will help you understand chemistry?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Do you trust me?”
“Not at the moment.”
He laughed.
Yeah, she would say that.
“I’m asking you to trust me.”
“Okay.”
“Move closer.”
She scooted two inches closer.
“Closer.”
She shimmied over another two inches.
“Bell, come here.” This time, he reached for her, placing his hand on the back of her neck and drawing her to him.
Their eyes locked. He leaned in and brushed his lips to hers in a soft stroke that demanded nothing and promised everything. He caressed his fingers over her short hair, let the strands slide under his fingers. She sighed and leaned into his touch. He pressed his lips to hers again, tilting his head for a more intimate angle. She watched him. He watched her. The surprise in her eyes turned to interest. He swept his tongue out to slide over her lips. She sucked in a breath and he took advantage, sweeping his tongue in to glide against hers. Just a taste was all it took to turn that interest in her eyes to smoldering heat.
He leaned back just an inch to stare down at her. “That’s chemistry, Bell. That warm feeling spreading through you. The heat pooling in your belly. That need gnawing at your gut and racing through your veins. Your heart pounding in your chest and in your ears. That voice in your head saying, ‘Do it again.’ ”
“Do it again.” Her words were softly spoken, but held no less than demand in her plea.
He drew her close again. Maybe she pulled him in. Didn’t matter. All that mattered was that her mouth met his in a kiss so shockingly erotic and sweet that he only knew her and the need he unleashed at her command. He pressed his lips to hers and slid his tongue deep into her mouth to taste and caress hers. She met his every move and took him under her spell. He tried to keep things tame. He kept his hands on her shoulders, his fingertips massaging her soft skin at her neck.
Bell tore her mouth from his and stared at him, wide-eyed. “This is kind of addictive.”
“You’re addictive.” He pulled her back in for another long kiss. He loved that sweet sigh and sexy moan she made when she settled into his arms. He wanted to make her do it again. His fingers trailed down her neck. The shiver it elicited reverberated through him. He slid his hand lower and traced the top of her breast with his fingertips. She sucked in a surprised breath, then settled into the intimate touch. He took the kiss deeper, cupped her breast, and brushed his thumb over her tight nipple. She made that sexy moan again, arched her back, and offered up her breast for him to mold to his palm. He leaned into her, completely lost in her taste and the feel of her pressed against him and filling his hand. He wanted more. His elbow hit the steering wheel. He turned to bring her closer, but he banged his bad leg on the dashboard and grunted in pain.
Bell ended the kiss and pressed her forehead to his. “This is crazy.”
He swept his thumb over her breast again. Her eyes flamed with desire.
“This is good.” Different. Better than he expected or imagined. His whole body flamed with a need he’d never experienced. One kiss and she’d completely tilted his world and realigned it to hers.
“I should go.”
“You’ll have to let go if you want to do that.” He glanced down at her hands fisted in his shirt, holding him to her. He wanted her to hold on. “Or don’t.”
She did let go and leaned back against the seat. He hated the separation, but he gave her space to breathe. He leaned back, too, trying to keep his hands from reaching for her again.
“I really had no idea. I mean, I’ve kissed a boy, but not like that.”
He gripped her shoulders. “Wait, you kissed someone?”
She laughed. “I’m not as naïve and innocent as you think. I tried one other experiment.”
“Who the fuck kissed you?” He wanted to kill whoever had touched her.
His outrage made her smile even more. “I was about to graduate college. I was eighteen and tired of being the only girl who didn’t know anything about sex. I went to a party, found a really cute boy about my age who I knew from one of my classes, and asked him to get me a drink. I drank one to his four. We ended up in his dorm room. A very quick few minutes later, I got the whole sex thing. He passed out, and I left completely unimpressed and wondering what everyone was talking about.”
“That douche should be shot.”
She cocked her head and stared at him, not getting the reference at all.
“He’s an asshole who doesn’t know how to treat a woman right,” Dane snarled.
“Yeah, well, he got the job done.”
“No. He didn’t if you left there completely unsatisfied and not wanting to do it again.”
“Really?”
Dane shifted and reached for her, sliding his hand up her neck to cup her face, his thumb sweeping along her jaw in a soft caress that made her eyes go soft. She caught her breath and her pretty lips parted, begging for his lips to touch hers again. “Do you want to kiss me again?”
“Oh yes,” she sighed out. “I really do.”
He leaned in close, his nose inches from hers. “Do you want to touch me?”
Her eyes dipped to his chest. Her tongue swept across her kiss-swollen lips. “Yes,” she whispered.
“God, how I want to touch every inch of you. That’s the difference between having sex and making love to someone you truly care about and can’t wait to have close.”
“Have you ever made love?”
Her softly spoken question made his heart stutter to a stop. She made him think. What the hell had he been doing with all those women? Lori in high school came damn close. He’d felt so much for her. He’d wanted her in a way that went beyond just sex, but the relationship went south when he’d caught her kissing some fan of the opposing high school football team. He’d really liked her. She’d stomped on his heart, and he’d never let that happen again.
Until now. He’d put his heart in Bell’s hands. He hoped she didn’t slice it to shreds with her scalpel.
“I thought I had, but now I don’t think so. What I feel for you is so new and different. Never doubt that this is real, Bell. I’m not playing some game, or looking for some fun with a different kind of girl.”
“Brunette.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yes, I do.” She leaned against his shoulder. He put his arm around her and drew her close. “I like this.” She snuggled against him like a cat settling in for the night.
“I’m so glad you enjoy torturing me.” She tried to pull away, but he held her close. “I’m kidding. Mostly.”
“If you’re uncomfortable because we didn’t . . .”
“What?”
“You know.”
“Say it.”
“Make love.”
See. Any other woman from his past would have said
fuck.
He loved that she took things seriously. She thought about the words she said and what they meant.
“I’ll be fine. We’re not there yet. You need more time to get to know me and unscramble your feelings from your overactive brain and all the thoughts you generate that boil down to one thing.”
“What is that?”
“You want to be with me, but you’re afraid of what that means. You think it means you’re somehow like your mother. Deep down, you’re worried that if you do sleep with me, I’ll leave you in the morning, like I’ve done with other women in the past. I’ve never lied to you about who I used to be. I’m not lying to you now. I don’t want you in my bed for a night. I want you in it every night.
“Maybe that scares you even more than all the rest. I’m not afraid to admit it scares me, too. I mean, am I capable of that kind of intimate relationship? I hope so. I’ve got some great examples to follow. My mom and dad. Gabe and Ella. Blake and Gillian. Caleb and Summer. They’ve created something worth having and keeping.”
“I don’t have any examples of couples that made it work and did it well,” Bell admitted. “Look at my life. As smart as I am, I have no idea how to do this.”
“I’m sure you’ve felt that way about a lot of things. You’ll learn. So will I. We’re in this together. Nothing and no one else matters, except what we say matters to us.”
“You really mean that.”
“Yes,” he sighed out. “Now will you go to dinner with me?”
She turned, leaned up, and kissed him softly. “Yes.”
Surprised by the show of affection, it took him a second to realize she’d finally accepted a real date with him. “It’s about time. Pretty soon, I’d have to start seeing you about the complex you gave me that I’m not good enough for you.”
“That is not true. I never thought that. I just don’t want to be one of Dane’s Dames.”
“I really hate that term.”
“It’s not my favorite either.”
“So, dinner tomorrow night. I’ll pick you up at six-thirty.”
“Perfect.”
“Promise me, you won’t cover a shift for someone to get out of seeing me.”
“I promise. You, me, dinner, dessert that I’m not sharing, and more smiles and laughs.”
“I like it when you smile. You should do it more often.”
She tilted her head and looked up at him. “You make me want to smile. Thanks for coming over tonight.”
“Nothing but selfish on my part.” He pressed his hand to her thigh and squeezed. She stiffened for a second, surprised by his touch, but quickly settled into it. “I wanted to see you.”
“I wanted to see you, too. I’m looking forward to dinner.”
“Go inside before I kiss you again and drive you to my place.” God, how he wanted to be with her, but she needed time, and he’d give her anything she needed.
“I don’t get a kiss goodnight?” she asked with one raised eyebrow and a flirty tone in her voice. He liked it when she let her guard down and gave in to this playful side of herself.
Two could play at this game. With a deliberately deepened voice, he asked, “Do you want a kiss goodnight?”
She tilted her lips down into a pouty frown. “I guess you don’t want to kiss me.” Bell tried to reach for the door.
Dane turned her to him and kissed her deep. She caught on quick and matched her movements to his. They lost themselves in each other’s arms. She squirmed toward the door. He leaned in closer, keeping his lips pressed to hers until the last second, when she got out of the truck and stood on the running board, her hands planted on the seat as she leaned in and smiled at him like he’d never seen her smile.
“God, you’re beautiful.”
Her laugh would play in a loop in his mind for the rest of his days.
“Goodnight, Dane.”
“Night, Bell.”
She jumped down, but he stopped her before she closed the door. “Hey, Bell, are you okay staying here?”
“I’ve lived in this house my whole life. Over the last couple of years, I’ve spent less and less time here. But my grandmother is ill. Eventually, I’ll have to move her to an assisted living facility. She’ll hate that.”
“None of that excuses the way she treats you.”
“No. And nothing will change the way she treats me.”
“A good ass kicking will.”
“Are you seriously thinking of beating up my grandmother?”
“I’m just saying it’s not right. You don’t need to stay here and take her abuse.”
“Let it be. Be careful driving home.”
“I’ll be fine, but I like that you’re concerned about me.”
“I just don’t want to have to piece you back together.”
“But you’re so good at it.”
“Ha. Ha.”
“I hope you’re thinking about taking that new position at the clinic. You’d be a great doctor for this community.”
“I already help out.”
“I’d like it if you were closer to home. That commute to Bozeman, the hours you work, it must be a killer.”
“It does get tedious sometimes.”
“Get some rest, Bell. I’ll see you for dinner tomorrow night.”
Dane waited for her to go inside again. He tried not to react to her grandmother screaming, “You’re nothing but a tramp.” He unfisted his hands in his lap and grabbed the steering wheel.
He hated to leave her here and wondered how he could get her to live somewhere else. Maybe even with him.
Right, like that was going to happen when she’d only just accepted a first date. They were still a long way from moving in together. Still, the thought appealed. A lot. He’d never wanted to share his life with anyone. Now all he thought about was being with her.
B
ell jogged down the road toward Dane’s place, completely lost in her memories of last night. Dinner out with Dane had been one of those turning point moments for both of them. Yes, they enjoyed each other’s company. She loved being with him, but it was so much more. They’d shared a meal, their time, conversation, laughs, and held hands like they’d known each other for years. She’d fallen completely under his spell. She finally understood what it felt like to be in a relationship with a man. What it felt like to be cared for and liked and connected to another person. Whether it had been the candlelight, the wine, or just the man, she’d allowed herself to be in the moment and feel everything. Even now, the anticipation of kissing him again fluttered in her belly. He’d been right about the chemistry thing. They had it. As before, when she was close to him, she wanted to get closer, but now that feeling somehow amplified a thousandfold. Being close to him wasn’t enough. She wanted to be with him all the time.
Which is why she’d taken the road to his house instead of going for her morning run on her property. Quite a distance, but she’d simply ask him to drive her home after she saw him. That’s all she wanted, a look at his handsome face before she drove into town for her shift at the clinic. Maybe a few more of those kisses they’d shared last night in her driveway. Right before she’d gone inside and found her grandmother asleep, slumped in her favorite chair in the kitchen, a lit cigarette in her hand. She’d put the old woman to bed, making sure to check her blood sugar level and give her a shot of insulin. She’d checked her feet. One day soon they’d have to have a talk about possible amputation if her toes got any worse. Her grandmother didn’t want to hear it, but she’d have to face the facts. She’d lose her eyesight completely before that happened. Between the diabetes and smoking, the woman was hell-bent on killing herself painfully and slowly.
Bell set aside her worries for her grandmother and picked up her pace, anxious to see Dane. He’d wash away all thoughts of her grandmother and make her smile.
Lost in the beautiful fall scenery, she focused on the trees with their gold and red leaves. Soon they’d have snow. Thanksgiving was next week. Maybe she’d spend it with Dane and his family instead of sitting alone in her room reading, or covering another shift at the clinic, taking care of grease burns on people trying and failing at deep-frying the turkey.
The wind whipped up again. She pulled her navy blue cap down over her ears to keep warm. She dug in and ran hard up the short hill. Her thigh muscles burned with the added effort. She caught a flash of silver behind the trees a second before a car pulled out, nearly hitting her. Thanks to her fast reflexes, she shimmied to the side, the car’s bumper narrowly missing her thighs. She stumbled, twisted, and fell down hard on her hands. Off balance on the hill leading down into the trench, she rocked sideways and rolled down the hill, skidding on her hip and thigh the last five feet, tearing her jogging pants and scraping her skin painfully. Her foot caught on an exposed root, and she wrenched her knee when the rest of her rolled over. She put her hands out to catch herself and stop from landing in the ice-cold water at the bottom of the drainage ditch.
Tires squealed as the car peeled out and drove away. She took a deep, calming breath and tried to quiet her nerves and think. She rolled onto her butt and unhooked her ankle from the thick root. The pain hit her all at once. Her palms burned, her hip and thigh stung, and her knee felt like it might explode. Her ankle wasn’t much better.
“What the hell?”
Tears stung her eyes, and a few slipped down her cheeks. She shook with fear and adrenaline. She ran her shaking hands down her thighs, trying to wipe away most of the dirt, but since she was covered in dust and debris, it didn’t really help. She held her hands up and stared at the scrapes and blood. Not too bad. Not as bad as her side.
She glanced up the fifteen-foot drop and sighed. No choice, she planted her good foot on the ground and used her fingertips to help push herself up to standing. It hurt like hell to climb the embankment, but she made it, trying to keep most of her weight on her good leg and using her fingers to balance herself.
Exhausted and in too much pain to continue on, she sat on the side of the road, giving herself a minute to catch her breath and assess her injuries before she attempted walking again. A truck drove toward her. Fear made her body shake again, but she sucked in a deep breath, tried to remain calm, and waved her hands to get the driver’s attention.
The truck stopped and Blake got out on the run. “Bell, what happened?”
The tears came in a torrent. She shook so hard her teeth chattered. Blake peeled off his coat and draped it around her. She pulled it close and let his heat seep into her.
“Are you okay? You need to talk to me, Bell.”
“R-r-running. C-c-car came out of n-nowhere. Fell d-d-down there.”
Blake stared over the edge of the road into the drainage ditch. “Damn, that’s a long way down. How bad are you hurt?”
“Not bad. Sh-shock.”
“Yeah, I can see that. I’m going to pick you up and put you in the truck. I was headed up to Dane’s, but I’ll rush you down to the clinic. They’ll take care of you there.”
“No. Go to Dane’s. I’m f-f-fine.”
“You don’t look it.”
“D-Dane’s.”
“Okay. Here we go.” Blake lifted her with ease and carried her to his truck. She reached for the handle and opened the door. He set her on the seat and turned the heating vents toward her.
She reached up to brush the hair from her forehead. “I lost my cap.”
“I’ll look for it. Sit tight.”
He closed the door. She pulled the coat tighter around her. Not that she needed it for more warmth; she just needed something to comfort her.
Blake walked up the road about twenty feet and grabbed her cap. He stood and stared up the road and down the hill. He walked farther up the road, took out his cell phone, and snapped a photo of where she guessed the car had come out of the trees. He took another picture of the skid marks on the road and another of the hill she’d slid down into the ditch. He shook his head and frowned, stuffing his phone into his back pocket. He walked back to the truck, his eyes on her. He opened the door and climbed in beside her.
“Feeling better?”
“Getting there.”
“Anything broken?”
“Just scraped and bruised. I twisted my knee.”
“Can you walk?”
“Not well. I need to clean these cuts and scrapes and assess the damage.”
Blake hit the gas, and they sped down the road to Dane’s place. She couldn’t believe how close they actually were. Maybe a mile or so. Blake skidded to a stop behind Dane’s truck. He got out and came to her side just as she opened the door. He plucked her from the seat and carried her to the house.
“I can try to walk.”
“You’re a wreck, Doc. Relax.”
Blake opened the door without knocking, kicked it shut with his foot, and carried her toward the light in the kitchen. Dane filled the doorway. His eyes went wide when he saw them.
“What the hell happened to you, Bell?”
He rushed forward, ran his shaking hand over her hair, and leaned down and kissed her forehead. Blake handed her over to him. She wrapped her arms around his head, buried her face in his neck, and let all the pain and fear out with her tears.
Dane hobbled back into the kitchen with her in his arms and leaned against the counter, holding her close.
“What the fuck happened?”
“I found her on the side of the road about a mile from your place. Looks like she was out for a run and a car ran her off the road.”
Dane caught the look in Blake’s eyes. Blake held something back. Something Dane probably didn’t want to know but would ask about after he took care of Bell.
“Come on, let’s get her to the clinic,” Dane told Blake.
“No. I want to stay with you,” she said.
“You’re hurt, sweetheart. I need to get you looked at by a doctor.”
“I am a doctor.” She sniffled back the last of the tears, sucked in a deep breath to calm herself, and let it out on a ragged sigh. “I can clean the scratches and bandage them myself.”
Dane glanced at Blake for his silent assessment. Blake nodded, agreeing with Bell.
“Run up to the master bath,” Dane ordered Blake. “I’ve got a ton of bandages and ointment from having to redress my leg after the surgery.”
“Just take me upstairs. I need to wash off all this grime and clean the cuts and scrapes with some soapy water.”
“For all that, jump in the shower and wash off. I’ll help you.”
“I can do it myself.”
Blake gave him a knowing smile. Okay, maybe he’d gone too far with that.
“Put me down,” she ordered.
“I don’t really want to.” Dane hugged her close, but he let loose when she squirmed in pain. “Come on, Doc, let’s take a look at you.”
Dane walked out of the kitchen, limping on his brace but standing on his own two feet once again. He finally could walk without the crutches. Just in time, too, to take care of Bell. She’d been looking after him all this time; now he got to return the favor.
“You are not carrying me up those stairs on that leg.”
“I got you, Bell.”
“No. Put me down. I’ll walk up them myself before I let you hurt yourself.”
Dane sighed out his frustration. He couldn’t even carry his woman up the stairs to his room. That’s right, she belonged to him. He still felt the fear in his gut when he saw Blake walk in with her in his arms. He hadn’t known exactly what happened, but she’d looked a mess, and that had been enough to set his blood boiling in his veins. He wanted to find whoever hurt her, and pound them into the dirt. Six feet under.
Dane handed Bell over to Blake again. His brother carried her up the stairs like it was nothing. Dane frowned but sucked it up and followed Blake into his room. Blake set Bell on her feet just outside the bathroom door.
“I’ll leave you two alone. Dane, meet me downstairs when you’ve got her squared away.”
Code for
Hurry the hell up, I’ve got something to tell you.
“Can you walk?”
“I think so.” She took a step. She couldn’t put her weight on her bad leg, so she limped the rest of the way, holding onto his arm to steady herself.
“Sit on the side of the tub. I’ll grab the bandages and stuff.” He found what he needed in the cupboard and turned back to her. She stared up at the ceiling.
“I love it in here. So bright and cheerful. The ceiling turned out perfect.”
He’d finished the bathroom with her in mind. Cottage Cream on the walls, sky blue on the ceiling, and he’d redone all the towel bars and fixtures in brushed nickel. He added navy blue rugs and towels. He had to admit, it turned out well.
“Your suggestion.” He set everything on the hamper beside her. The tear in her pants revealed the deep bleeding scrapes that were beginning to bruise. He grabbed both edges and tore the opening larger to get a better look. “That’s bad, sweetheart.”
“Once I clean it up, it won’t look so ominous.”
“The hell it won’t.”
Her hand shook when she reached down to brush away some of the dirt. He took her hand and turned it over, examining the heel of her palm. “Damn, that’s not good. Look at your poor hands.” She used them to heal people, and they were a bloody, dirty mess.
“Dane, stop. Let me take care of it. I’ll be okay.”
“I’m not okay seeing you like this.”
“Come here.” She reached up to grab hold of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss.
He went willingly, needing the sweet contact as much as she did. He held the kiss for a long moment, waiting for her to settle into him and relax. He kissed her several times, then leaned back and looked down at her upturned face, dirt smudged on her cheek, silent tears trailing down her skin. He brushed them away with his thumbs, and she opened her eyes and stared back at him.
“Let me help you.”
He kneeled in front of her and took her foot. He set it on his thigh, undid her lace, pulled off her running shoe and sock, and gently set her foot back on the white marble tile floor. He did the same with her other foot, then stood and went to the walk-in shower, where he turned on the water to lukewarm. He went back to her and helped her pull her hoodie and shirt over her head. She didn’t seem to mind being half naked in front of him in her sports bra and ruined pants. Still, he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.
“Can you get into that shower alone?”
“I think so. It’ll be nice to get cleaned off.”
“Good. I can’t leave you alone in here, sweetheart. I’m afraid you might stumble or fall. So I’ll close my eyes and turn my back and wait as long as it takes for you to soap up and rinse out those cuts.”
“Okay.” Her bottom lip trembled. The shock still hadn’t worn off. Once the adrenaline left her system, she’d crash and need a good long nap.
Dane sat next to her on the wide tiled tub ledge and closed his eyes, listening to her peel off the rest of her clothes. To keep her calm and know where she was in the room, he asked, “What were you doing running on the road?”
“I thought I’d stop by and have a cup of coffee with you. I wanted to thank you again for dinner last night.”
“I had a good time, too. I didn’t want it to end,” he admitted. “I’m still bummed you wouldn’t share that double-chocolate cheesecake with me.”
“I gave you a bite,” she said from the shower stall. The sound of the water changed when it cascaded down her head and body.
Okay, she was in. Another few minutes, and he’d help her bandage those cuts and scrapes.
“I wanted more.” With her, he always wanted more. Right now, he wanted her back in his arms so he knew she was safe and okay. “It’s like ten miles to my house. You really ran all that way?”
“I like to run. And it’s eleven point two miles to your house.”
“Damn, sweetheart, that’s a long run.”
“You’re worth it.”
He hung his head, taking in that sweet admission. It was not easy for her to tell truths like that, so it meant even more when she did.
“I planned to ask you to drive me home. I guess you don’t have a choice now.”