TWENTY-ONE
If pressured Tyler might have admitted taking Miranda home to meet his family wasn’t planned. But it would have taken extreme torture for him to confess the reason behind it was that it felt as if she had him on the ropes.
Truth was he doubted taking her to meet the family priest would keep them out of the bedroom for much longer.
As she walked beside him, unruly tresses of flame-red hair tossed by the wind, all he could think about was how it felt to have those silky soft strands sliding over his fingers. He wanted to strip her naked and keep her that way until he’d sated his hunger for her. He wanted to map her body with his mouth and his tongue, taking her close to the edge over and over again without allowing her release until she begged him to take her.
He’d used every trick he could think of to get it off his mind. He’d even summoned random pages of books from his memory and recited them word for word inside his head. When his talent for retaining information chose to remind him of the time he’d furtively flicked through a copy of
Lady Chatterley
during puberty, he’d stopped.
So much for
that
great idea...
But there was no point denying there was something else going on that had nothing to do with sex.
He’d watched from the sidelines as she smiled, talked and laughed with his family. She’d looked right there—as if she belonged—and Tyler realized on some level he’d known she would. What he
hadn’t
realized was how much he would like having her there. He’d even looked at Jo and Danny and felt at peace with the past; as if things were the way they were supposed to be.
It felt as if a weight had been lifted.
Studying her from the corner of his eye, he tried to figure out what was different about her—the thing that allowed her to work such a miracle. But when she looked at him and flashed a small smile he was distracted by the sensation something was off.
‘You okay?’
She avoided his gaze and nodded. ‘I’m fine.’
‘Did I ever mention one of my detective skills is the ability to spot a lie?’ Tyler raised his hand and waggled a forefinger over his shoulder. ‘Hairs on the back of my neck stand up.’
‘They all hugged me.’ She shrugged a shoulder, her tone deceptively dismissive. ‘I’m not used to that.’
It made him want to sit her parents down for a little chat. Didn’t they know their daughter
at all?
Would it be such a damn hardship for them to
get to know her?
They obviously needed someone to tell them what they were missing.
Dropping her gaze to the ground for a moment, she took a short breath and asked, ‘How long has it been since your father passed away?’
‘Nine years. He had a heart attack.’
Her voice softened. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘It happens.’ Tyler shrugged. ‘Work hard, play hard—that was his motto. I doubt he had many regrets.’
They crossed the street to the boardwalk before she commented, ‘You were different with them.’
‘So were you.’
‘I don’t usually meet families.’ She scrunched her nose a little. ‘I mean, I do, but...’
‘But?’ he prompted.
‘It was different this time.’
Tyler was about to ask why when he glanced ahead. ‘Can you run in those shoes?’
‘They’re not exactly designed for running.’
‘Try.’ He took her hand. ‘Ferry’s in, we gotta move.’
They were the last people to board before it departed. Miranda looked up at him with sparkling eyes and flushed cheeks, so beautiful she was making it difficult for him to look anywhere else. When she laughed he smiled back at her. Every time she did that it made him want to be a funnier guy so he could coax the sound from her lips.
‘Can we stand outside?’ she asked breathlessly.
‘You’ll get cold.’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t care.’
Guiding them to what shelter he could find at the end of the deck, he watched her reaction to the new experience as she caught her breath from the run. He drank in her animated expression, the way her eyes sparkled with delight, and as always wondered how it felt to see the world through her eyes. The little adventures they’d taken might have been an attempt to keep them out of the bedroom but they’d done more than that. At least they had for him.
He saw the city with fresh perspective. It wasn’t tarnished by cynicism or taken for granted the way he normally did. As a result he’d thought about the small part he played in the greater scheme of things and come to the conclusion a little was better than nothing. One less perp on the streets was one less crime—several in the case of repeat offenders. If it meant she was safe when she began to explore on her own he’d arrest each and every one of them in her name.
‘They liked you,’ he told her, in case she didn’t know. ‘That’s why you were treated to the hug-fest.’
‘I got the impression your family would make anyone you brought home feel welcome.’ A soft smile came through in her voice. ‘You’re lucky to have them.’
‘They’re not bad,’ he allowed. ‘Probably a bit late to trade them in.’
‘It can’t have been easy for your mom with five little kids running around.’ She waited until he looked into her eyes. ‘You’re all quite close in age, aren’t you?’
‘Arrived in an eight-year bonanza of adorability.’
‘That kind of time frame would terrify me.’
‘My great-grandmother had eleven.’
Her eyes widened. ‘Seriously?’
‘It’s why the Irish never have to invade a country. We infiltrate.’ The comment had the desired effect: she laughed. But Tyler shook his head when it was followed by an involuntary shudder. ‘I said you’d be cold out here.’
‘I don’t want to go inside.’ When the wind blew a lock of hair across her face, she raised her hand to brush it back and looked over the water again. ‘This is amazing.’
Releasing her hand, Tyler took a step forwards, folded the edges of his jacket around her narrow shoulders and wrapped his arms around her body. ‘Better?’
She settled in as if she’d always been there, her arms around his waist and her cheek against his chest. ‘Much.’
He rested his chin on her head as they sailed past the Statue of Liberty.
‘She’s humongous.’
Tyler looked down at her with amusement. ‘How can you
not
know that?’
‘She looks smaller from farther away.’
Fair enough.
‘Did you tell her how you felt?’
It didn’t take a genius to work out they weren’t talking about a national monument any more.
‘I thought she knew.’
‘She might not have married Danny if she knew.’
‘No.’ He’d accepted that long before he came to terms with it. ‘Anyone who sees them together knows they’re good for each other.’
‘Can’t be easy to watch.’
‘Wasn’t for a while...’ A guy could come up with a lot of reasons not to attend Sunday lunch when he needed to, but that would change now, thanks to her.
‘No one else figured it out?’
He sincerely hoped not—because that wouldn’t be at all awkward—but realistically all he knew for certain was, ‘You’re the first person to bring it up.’
There was a palpable moment of hesitation before she asked, ‘Do you still love her?’
Not in that way.
He wouldn’t be standing there with her if he was in love with someone else. He wasn’t wired that way. ‘Part of me will always feel something for her. Just because it didn’t work out the way I thought it would doesn’t make it any less real.’
‘Why didn’t you tell her?’
And there it was: the million-dollar question.
When he didn’t answer she leaned back and looked up at him. ‘You don’t know?’
‘We were friends. I didn’t think she was ready to hear it, but the fact is I never knew why until recently.’
‘You don’t want to tell me,’ she surmised.
Considering some of it had to do with his attraction to the woman he was with, not so much.
‘Do you regret it?’
He looked into her eyes. ‘It’s history.’
‘You want to change the subject,’ she said. ‘Okay. What are we doing—you and me, Tyler and Miranda?’
‘What do you think we’re doing?’
‘I thought it was foreplay,’ she answered frankly. ‘Neither one of us is interested in making a commitment, are we?’ There was a beat before she added, ‘We enjoy each other’s company—most of the time—and you know I want you.’
He did. Even if he couldn’t see it in her eyes, he could hear it in her voice. Her tone was liquid as she said the words, thick with sensuality and more potent than any drug. Resisting her was the equivalent of a slow, painful death, every muscle in his body straining towards her.
‘I know
you
want
me.
’ Her lips formed a decadently sinful smile. ‘Some things are hard to hide...’
To prove the point she brushed her stomach across his abdomen in a deliberately provocative move. Tyler sucked in a sharp breath through clenched teeth, unable to stop his body from reacting. She had that effect on him even without trying. When she put effort into it he didn’t stand a chance. He dropped his hands to her hips to hold her still.
‘What do you want me to say?’ he asked tightly.
‘I don’t want you to say anything. I want you to take me to your apartment, take me to bed and take me.’
He’d never wanted anything more. ‘I can’t.’
‘Why not?’
‘It’s not that simple.’
‘Yes, it is.’
He wished it were. ‘You need to think this through.’
‘You think I haven’t?’ Removing one of the arms around his waist, she snaked it between them and raised a hand to set fine-boned fingers against his jaw as she looked deep into his eyes. ‘I haven’t thought about anything else since the moment I laid eyes on you.’
Utilizing every microscopic fraction of resolve he had left, Tyler removed her fingers. ‘We can’t do this.’
‘Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want me.’
‘I’m not gonna lie about that.’ Not after she’d so ably demonstrated his weakness.
‘Then what is the problem?’ There was a brief flash of fire in her eyes. ‘In case you hadn’t noticed I’m throwing myself at you. That doesn’t happen very often.’
Some of his frustration bubbled to the surface. ‘Damn it, woman, I’m trying to do the right thing here.’ He glanced over her head to see who was watching what they were doing, his fingers tangling with hers at their side. ‘You’re not making it any easier.’
‘And I’m not going to until you can give me a rational explanation for why this can’t happen when we both want it to,’ she said on a note of exasperation.
‘I won’t take advantage of the situation.’
‘Uh...
hello...
woman willing to be taken advantage of over here.’ She lowered her voice. ‘I want to have wild, uninhibited sex with you. I want to feel your hands on my body. I want...’ she rocked forward and pressed her breasts against his chest ‘...you to make me
scream
your name...’
Tyler swore viciously beneath his breath. He’d said
he
was more trouble than
she
could handle?
Man
was he ever outclassed on that score. Every strand of knuckle-dragging caveman that remained in his DNA demanded he tame her and tie her down. But the part of him that had made the mistake of looking for something more meaningful in the wrong place wouldn’t let him take her without it.
He wanted to strip her naked in more ways than one. He wanted to climb inside her mind and discover all her secrets. He wanted her to be more herself with him than she’d ever been with anyone else. He wanted sleeping together to mean something to her because he knew it would mean something to him. But he couldn’t say any of those things without discussing a future he couldn’t plan until after the day of reckoning.
From what she’d said it didn’t even look as if she wanted a future with him. Then he remembered she’d
asked
about commitment. It hadn’t been a statement of fact. The devil was in the detail. Where there was a loophole, there was a way in. He needed to know how she felt and in the absence of words he knew how to get to the truth.
Making the first connection with their eyes, he dropped his guard and allowed her to see how much he wanted her. It drew a low gasp from her lips, encouraging him to continue despite the glimpse of fear he got in return. Running his hand over her back in a soothing caress, he cradled her close, releasing her hand so he could brush the backs of his fingers over her cheek.
‘What are you doing?’ she whispered.
He angled his head and lowered his mouth to her lips. ‘Don’t speak, just feel.’
Moving his hand, he pushed her hair over her shoulder, changing the direction of his lips at the last possible second to place a kiss on the sensitive skin of her neck. He slid his mouth upwards, circled the shell of her ear with the tip of his tongue and felt a shiver run through her body.
‘Tyler—’
‘Shh...’
He kissed his way down her jaw and captured her mouth, alternating between soft and hard, breathless and slow. While she responded in kind he could sense she was holding back, conflicted by the desire to have him take her hard and fast the way he knew she wanted him to and the warm, cherished feeling he was attempting to convey with tenderness. Then she was leaning into him. The kiss became deeper, richer, full-bodied and intoxicating, creating a haze around them that blocked out everything else.
Something he didn’t recognize expanded in his chest. It pushed the air from his lungs and filled the cavity until it felt as if it would break his ribs and burst free. In seeking out the truth about how she felt he’d touched the edge of something so large within himself he couldn’t see to the other side. But before he could figure out what it was, with no more warning than a low moan she wrenched her mouth free and took a sharp step backwards.
‘Stop.’
When he looked at her Tyler discovered her eyes were wide with anguish. He frowned. What had he done wrong?
She sucked in a sharp breath and shook her head. ‘This isn’t what we’re meant to be doing.’
‘I thought you wanted to make love,’ he said roughly, the after-effects of the best kiss of his damn life still rippling through his body.