Her Moonlit Gamble (4 page)

They walked down the beach to a restaurant overlooking the water. Because they were back fairly early after their hike, they were able to get a table overlooking the water and were able to watch the boats passing by.
 

"Next time we come to Hawaii, we'll have dinner out on a boat, just the two of us," he said.

All her favorite parts tingled at his words, both "next time" and "just the two of us." "Won't that be a little slow paced for you?" she asked.
 

He smiled. "Maybe. Maybe not. Didn't say what kind of boat. Maybe a dinghy. Maybe I'd make you row while I ate."

"I'd row in circles until you puked."

He laughed and tore into the hunk of bread the waitress had set on the table before him.
 

She relaxed a little and slid her feet out of her sandals. "So where do you want to go next?"

"Home," he said, heartfelt. "I've missed home. Maybe a few day trips here and there, maybe head over to Louisiana or drive out to Big Bend, but I miss being back in Texas." He rubbed his thumb over his chin and chuckled to himself. "Maybe not the desert just yet, though."

"Do you talk about it? I mean, I know you don't really talk about it with me, but you talk about it with someone, right? You don't just keep everything inside?"

He focused his eyes on her, the hint of laughter gone. She was taken back to those late nights when they'd had so many serious talks. They hadn't had one in a long time.
 
Maybe they needed to.

"I got a buddy or twoo who've been there and get it. It's just--not something I like to dwell on."

She gave into the impulse to put her hand over his on the table. Strong, big hands that she was crazy to be thinking about. "I just don't want it to change who you are."

"Too late for that." The chuckle and glint in his eyes were back, but he sat back in his chair, pulling his hand free as the waitress approached to take their order.

***

After dinner they walked out onto the beach with a bottle of wine they'd bought from the restaurant. Andrew plopped onto the sand and looked up at her expectantly. She plucked the skirt of her dress and he grumbled, then pulled his shirt off and made a place for her to sit beside him.
 

"Why would you bring something to Hawaii that you don't want to get sand on?" he asked, hooking his elbows over his bent knees.

"To see what you'd do to get your way," she countered, trying not to linger on those broad, broad shoulders. Instead she took the bottle of wine and held out her hand for his multi-function knife.
 

He sighed, pulled it out of his pocket and took the bottle to open it, scraping the foil from around the cork before twisting the corkscrew into it. He took a slug before handing it to her.
 

She tucked her feet under her skirt and faced him. "So how did you change?"

He frowned. "What?"

"I'm saying, you don't seem that different, to me. I mean, other than appearance."

"Appearance?" His lips quirked.

"You know you look different. More..." She waved her hand at his torso. "...fit."

"Fit." He leaned back on his braced arms, his grin full-fledged.

Her face heated as she studiously avoided looking at the contours of the muscles in his biceps. "Shut up. You know what I mean."

He sobered and turned his attention to the water. "Well, you see things that no one should see, and you're thousands of miles from home." He dropped to his elbows. "Just makes you appreciate things more, you know?
 
Like being able to eat or drink whenever you want, whatever you want. Hell, being able to sleep when you want. Being able to do whatever the hell without checking in." He took the bottle and lifted it to his lips.
 

"So, freedom."

"Yeah, I guess." He passed the bottle over. "Just opened my eyes to the world around me, see?"

She choked on the wine. Some dribbled down her chest and she caught it with the edge of her hand before it reached the fabric. She lifted her hand and licked the liquid from the side of her hand. Andrew made a sound, his gaze on her breasts. The next thing she knew, she was flat on her back in the sand, and he was over her, braced on his arms, the muscles in his shoulders bunching as he stared down at her as if he was trying to figure out who she was. Then he angled his head and covered her mouth with his.
 

She should push him away. He wasn't pinning her to the ground, just leaning over her and kissing her, and if she didn't want everything to change, she should make him stop, make him think, make him...

His tongue teased her lips open and she drank him in, his textures, his flavor, breathed him in, the ocean, the wine, his own scent that had been imprinted on her hands all night long when she was trying to sleep and only able to think of him. She curved her hand around the back of his neck and lifted her chin to welcome him, to answer his tongue's caresses with her own, to explore, to discover. His short hair scratched her palm, so, secure that he wasn't going to abandon the kiss, she glided her hand over his shoulder, feeling the play of muscles beneath her hand. She lifted her leg to slide along his hair-roughened one, and she shifted toward him, wanting to feel more of him against her.

"Hey, you can't be drinking on the beach. Hey!"

A few minutes passed before the words sunk in. Joslyn twisted toward the voice, breaking the kiss. Andrew levered himself off her and followed her gaze to see the uniformed officer approaching. In one fluid move, Andrew was on his feet. He stretched a hand down to Joslyn without looking at her. She took it and he pulled her up. She stood beside him to face the officer.
 

"There's no drinking on the public beaches," the officer said, motioning to the bottle in the sand. "You need to take that somewhere else."

"Yes, sir," Andrew said, bending and wrapping his hand around the neck of the bottle.
 

Joslyn hesitated, thinking the officer would give them a ticket or say something else, but he just waited as Andrew took her hand and led her off the beach. Embarrassed, she looked over her shoulder to see him watching them.

"I feel like a teenager who just got busted," she muttered.

"Teenagers don't have hotel rooms overlooking the ocean," he said.

Her pulse thundered and she considered pulling her hand free. She'd lost her mind on the beach, letting him kiss her like that, kissing him back, especially as his words from earlier sunk in. He was seeing things differently. Was she ready for him to see her differently? What if she said no and lost him all together? Or what if she said yes and everything changed?

When they got into the room, Andrew tugged her toward the balcony. She hung back, and took the bottle from him.
 

"I think we'd better call it a night," she said, breaking away and heading to her room. "It's been a long day and we have another one tomorrow." Before he could say anything, she ducked into her room and closed the door.

***

When she woke the next morning, she felt a strange warmth behind her, and shifted to see Andrew sleeping beside her, on top of the bedding, his arms wrapped tightly around himself, his brow furrowed, not as relaxed as she'd expected. So many nights after her parents died, they'd slept just like this, either in her bed or his, just because she had needed the companionship. Guilt tugged at her. Had Andrew needed her after she opened that can of worms, and she'd abandoned him? Carefully she shifted, not wanting to wake him, and pulled the blanket over him, watching him until she was sure he wouldn't wake up, then she slipped out of bed and into the shower.

CHAPTER FOUR

Joslyn held onto the boat rail as it skimmed across the surface of the water to the dive site. Today had been the most awkward day she'd ever spent with Andrew. He'd never said why he'd come to her room. When she'd emerged from the shower, he'd still been sleeping, so she dressed in the bathroom, then sat on the balcony until she heard him leave her room and close the bathroom door. She'd been on the verge of ordering room service when he'd found her on the balcony and took her to brunch.
 

If only Andrew would talk to her. He'd been uncharacteristically distant since he woke up this morning. He was her best friend, she should be able to prod whatever was bothering him out of him. But the conversation on the beach, and the kiss, and waking up with him beside her--everything was different. She didn't know if she could hear what he would say.

She looked across the boat at him. He looked huge in his rented wetsuit, the fabric stretched across his broad shoulders. They were heading for their first night dive and would be swimming with manta rays. They'd both been certified since college, though diving in the Gulf wasn't as exciting as the blue Hawaiian waters. Joslyn might be bouncing off the seat if Andrew hadn't been so quiet.
 

She should have gotten it out of him before now, but she was afraid to know. Afraid to discover he'd needed her and she'd ignored him. Big coward.
 

He caught her watching him and grinned, not quite his full grin, but it warmed her all the same, before he turned his attention back to the black water below.

Four other passengers and two crew members were with them on the dive boat. Joslyn kind of wished she hadn't watched that slasher picture about the dive masters who took people out to sites and then tortured them to death. Come to think of it, she'd watched that movie with Andrew. To make it worse, she couldn't see the shoreline from here. The Kona coast wasn't as developed as Waikiki, and they were far enough away that they couldn't even see the lights of the cities. A shiver ran through her.

If she'd thought Andrew wasn't paying attention, she was wrong. He shifted to sit beside her. "Cold?"

"Nervous."

"It won't be completely black down there. You saw the video. They have lights to attract the plankton, which attract the mantas. You aren't scared of those, are you?"

She shook her head. "Just wondering what else we might encounter."

"Nothing worse than we've seen before. Remember the sharks in the reef off the Bahamas?"

On the cruise they'd gone on the summer before college, before he'd enlisted. So much shared history, so much of their lives intertwined. She didn't think she'd ever be sure of who she might have been if he hadn't been in her life. Which was why she was so terrified of losing him by doing something stupid. "I'd never been so scared in my life." The beasts had been hunting for food in the reefs and came terrifyingly close to her and Andrew, who'd held her hand in one of his, and held his knife in the other. She was certain he would have fought to protect her.

"But you stayed calm and nothing went wrong. You'll do the same tonight and it will be magnificent."

"Magnificent." She smiled at him.
 

The boat slowed as they reached the dive site, and the crew members dropped anchor as the passengers prepared for the dive. Andrew stood behind her to help her into her buoyancy vest and tank, making sure it was secure, something he'd done a half dozen times, but this time felt different, like his hands were lingering, like he was being extra cautious. Then they sat and listened to the dive masters talk to them about the site--forty feet deep. They would sink lights to draw the plankton, which would draw the mantas.
 

"They're big," the dive master, Dean, told them. "They can grow up to twenty-two feet across, and their mouths can open up to thirty-six inches wide. They'll swim with their mouths open as they feed on the plankton. You need to make sure you don't touch them. They have a protective mucus on their skin. We'll be on the bottom, watching them above us."

"We didn't bring an underwater camera," Joslyn realized.

"Not to worry, we will have DVDs of your dive for sale. Gives you a better chance to appreciate the animals if you're not worrying about your camera," Dean replied.

"Do they ever not show up?" one of their fellow divers, a lady who'd introduced herself as Maureen, asked.

"Very rarely. If we bring the plankton, the mantas show up. Now, I'm going to lower the lights while you all get ready to go in."

Joslyn eased back against Andrew's chest as she looked at the black water lapping at the hull. He rested his hand on her shoulder reassuringly.

"You'll be mad at yourself if you chicken out," he said, close to her ear.

"Yeah, but, dang, it's dark."

He eased around her, his hands on her hips. "I'll go first. You come to me. You know I won't let anything bad happen to you."
 

Before he could move to the end of the boat, Maureen gave a cry of alarm, followed by a sigh of wonder. Joslyn looked where the woman was looking and saw a giant white shape float by.
 

"Awesome. Our first sighting," Dean said, clapping his hands together.

"Holy shit, those things are huge," Joslyn breathed, holding onto Andrew's arm.

"It's why we came here," he reminded her gently and broke her hold.

He hopped off the edge of the boat and turned in the water, bobbing in the blackness. He flicked on his flashlight and held it under his chin, making a goofy face. She laughed and he reached a hand to her. Like so many other times, she followed him.

The water was warm as it lapped around her shoulders. She forgot, between dives, how much she loved diving. Of course, when Andrew was deployed, she didn't have anyone to go with. Now she watched as he put his regulator in his mouth and signaled for her to follow him. She closed her mouth around her own regulator, flicked on her flashlight, and dived after him.
 

The giant ray she'd seen from the surface swirled in graceful circles below them. She and Andrew hovered out of its path, then descended farther to join the others on the bottom, around the plastic crate holding flashlights that were aimed at the surface. Some of the other divers and the dive master John had video cameras, but Joslyn just craned her neck to watch the ballet above.