Authors: Roberta Latow
‘And are you going to leave him?’ asked Dendre with more hope than belief.
‘Most certainly not! Leave it alone, Dendre, if you want to keep him. He’s ready to leave you for me, I promise that’s the truth. One false move is all it will take.’
‘I won’t stop in my quest to get you out of our lives, Adair.’
‘Oh, please! You are so naive sometimes I despair of you, Dendre. A new set of clothes and a hair-do to impress Gideon isn’t going to get you what you want.’
‘You think I did this for Gideon? Quite wrong. I did it for me. Has he told you we’re off to the Hydra house for the next few months?’
‘When?’ asked Adair.
‘Oh, then you didn’t know? I told him I wanted to go, he thought about it and we’re going on Friday.’
‘You did that deliberately, to separate us! You knew it would be difficult for me to get away because of my commitments at the Metropolitan Museum. You’ve become more devious than I ever imagined you could be.’
‘Needs must.’
‘Now I
will
tell him everything.’
‘Better think of the consequences first,’ warned Dendre.
‘And so should you!’
‘Oh, I have.’
With that Dendre went to the wardrobe and took out the jacket to her suit, slipping it on. ‘Now you’ve seen it,’ she said and walked away, leaving Adair behind. Her rival sat on the bed for several minutes trying to come to terms with Dendre’s sudden determination to be rid of her.
Dendre walked into the drawing room and announced, ‘I feel like The Sounion. How about it, Haver?’
‘I’m for it,’ he answered.
‘Gideon?’
‘That’s a great idea. Girls, get your coats. Oh, wait a minute, Adair hates the place. Well, she’s outvoted. We’ll go. Where is she anyway?’
‘Here. What’s happening?’ she replied as she entered the room.
‘Dendre’s had a brilliant idea – we’re going to round off the evening at The Sounion,’ said Haver.
‘If I’m outvoted I suppose I’ll have to go even though I detest everything about the place. No! I can’t face it. I’d rather have an early night.’
‘I’ll call you a taxi,’ said Gideon.
The fast boat from Piraeus to Hydra had but a few people on it: several Americans and half a dozen Hydriots, all of whom knew Gideon and Dendre. There were hugs, welcome homes and smiling faces, ready to gossip about what had happened on the island since they had been away. Packages were opened, and pistachios and fresh fruit, were offered. Out came the bottle of ouzo.
Gideon was the island’s most famous and revered celebrity and
they all loved him and guarded his privacy. They respected the way he and Dendre and the children had learned Greek. It was to her they went to discuss any problem that arose between the Hydriots and the foreigners who resided there because she was fluent in the language and most of the other foreign residents were not. They often said of Gideon and Dendre, ‘They not only speak Greek, they think Greek.’
The Hydriots, who were anything but subtle, remarked endlessly on how beautiful Dendre had become. They also enquired when the children and Adair were arriving, never shy to ask a question.
When the island came into view, Gideon took Dendre by the hand and they walked out of the saloon on to the deck at the prow of the ship as did most everyone else. The sun was hot, the air fresh and cool, and there was no wind, just a breeze. The perfect Greek winter’s day.
‘There is magic in the Greek Islands, no wonder the gods dwelt here. I have always chosen to believe they actually lived and chose to become myths so they might outlast us all,’ said Gideon. With one arm round Dendre’s waist he pulled her to him and kissed her passionately on the lips.
She too felt a certain magic in the islands. She and Gideon were never closer than when they were in Greece. That kiss, the way he feels towards me now, is a love he will never have for Adair. Unfortunately he’s blinded to that and lost in his passion for her. The only way he will ever squarely face his love for me, beyond Adair or any other women, is once I’m gone, Dendre told herself.
They watched the island grow larger as they drew closer. Gideon and Dendre gazed at one other. Excitement showed in their faces, pure joy. It made them laugh and Dendre grabbed Gideon and kissed him passionately, first on the lips and then on his cheeks, nose and chin. He picked her up by the waist and sat her on the ship’s rail. She managed to turn herself round and drop her legs over it. Protests from the others, fearful she would fall overboard, made no impression on either Dendre or Gideon.
They were close enough to the island for her to look down into the clear water and see it looming up from the depths. The Captain blew the ship’s horn three times to announce its arrival as they rounded one end of the island and the crescent-shaped
harbour inched itself into view. Slowly, more and more of the port appeared until they were approaching straight on what looked like a man-made amphitheatre of sparkling white houses, climbing one above the other, higher and higher, to the top of the steep hill.
The Palenberg house was very nearly halfway up, easy to spot since it was almost dead centre of the port. It had taken years to buy the adjoining properties surrounding their original two houses. Now it was perfect, all they could ever want. It ranged over three tiers of land, one above the other, and was surrounded by high white walls. A large family house, a smaller one that Gideon and Dendre kept as their private bedroom and bathroom, a guest house, massive studio, another house for staff. There were four courtyards of potted flowering plants and herbs, three fig trees, and a swimming pool. Gideon and Dendre almost never left their compound when they were in Hydra. When they did it was to go to a restaurant, a rare occasion because Gideon preferred Dendre’s cooking. It was more usual for them to go down to the port early in the morning before the shops opened and have coffee with the locals, go for a swim, or take their boat and sail for a day.
All around the port there were cafés and restaurants and shops, all deserted now because the tourist season was still months away. Dendre could see the harbour master and his assistants walking round the port to the quay where the ship was meant to dock. She spotted Yukio and Kitty among a crowd of people arriving there. Dendre waved, and they and half a dozen others waved back.
Gideon helped her off the ship’s rail and together they disembarked and were greeted effusively as people swarmed around them. They had no luggage to contend with, that had all gone ahead with their staff. Gideon spotted two of his assistants, Valdez and Barry, rushing down the steep narrow cobblestone steps flanked by the white walls of the harbourside houses. They were coming from the studio. Gideon remarked to Dendre, ‘There they are. I had a moment of panic when I didn’t see them here. Thought they might still be fighting the customs people with the load of materials I lumbered them with.’
All the staff, Dendre and Gideon, stayed in the port drinking and eating: charcoal-grilled octopus, chunks of bread dipped in the best extra virgin olive oil and sprinkled with salt, green and black olives. A fisherman walked by with a huge grey fish and
Gideon bought it and invited the man to join them for lunch, then walked across the port to give it to the cook at the restaurant he liked.
There were twenty-two at their table set on the cobblestones where they could be close to the water. Everyone drank and ate too much but they were far from being inebriated. One of the donkey boys who ran a string of animals that carried people and all sorts of things up from the port, offered Dendre a ride to her house so that was how she arrived home.
Every day that followed was a glorious Greek winter’s day, the sort that travel brochures show glossy photographs of. Every night was spent in hours of gratified lust. However, Dendre felt deep down that those evenings had an undercurrent of violence, evidence of Gideon’s love-hate for her. The morning following their arrival he went to work. Dendre went to her kitchen or worked on the plants with Yorgos the gardener. Her neighbours called on her with gifts of cakes or jars of preserve. She felt happy and strong. Life was bliss without Adair in it.
What started off as a wonderful time alone with Gideon ended dramatically only five days later.
Gideon came in from the port with eggs still warm from the hens when he had placed them in the basket, thick slabs of ham, a huge chunk of Gruyère cheese and three loaves of bread. In a smaller basket were wild mushrooms. Dendre made a
frittata
, a sort of open omelette, and everyone living in the compound sat down to breakfast. After their meal Gideon went to his studio and everyone else back to their chores.
It was a grey day and without the sun quite chilly. All the fires were going in the fireplaces, the central heating on low. There was something rather cosy about being in an island house in these dull winter days. Dendre decided to let Kitty do the lunch and she would do the dinner. She intended to spend the morning in her bedroom reading a good book.
Gideon wanted no more than sandwiches and a thermos of black coffee in the studio. He was engrossed in drawings for the series of engravings he was working on. At lunchtime Dendre went to the kitchen and had a bowl of soup and a chunk of bread, then went back to her bedroom. It seemed such a quiet, peaceful house without the children there, no Adair or house guests, so luxurious to be alone.
It was about two in the afternoon when she saw the light flash on the telephone. It was the studio extension. The first call lasted about forty minutes, followed shortly after by a second. Gideon could be calling anyone about any number of things but she couldn’t help but wonder if it was Adair to whom he was talking. It actually didn’t matter if it was. Dendre intended to confront him about her on their return to New York. She wanted the next few months alone with him and the children, then she would be ready to leave him if she had to.
A matter of moments after the flashing light on the telephone
was extinguished the second time Dendre picked up her book again, only to put it down as Gideon entered the bedroom.
‘Hi,’ he said.
‘I’m loving today,’ she replied.
He made no reply to that but went directly across the room to the bed and removed the collection of white hand-woven cushions. He carried them to the fireplace where he dropped them on the floor. To Dendre her husband looked inspired, full of youth and vigour. Only five days on the island and it was already working its magic. There was a look of utter bliss in his eyes and lust on his mind. It was that that made Dendre sit up on the chaise. He went to her and took her hand, pulling her into his arms, hugging then releasing her.
In that hug she sensed overwhelming love. He undressed her tenderly and spoke to her in a quiet, soft voice. ‘Let’s make love as no other lovers have ever done. No words to break the moment, just two people in lust and love.’
Dendre began undressing him. Her hands were trembling. Naked, they stood facing each other. He stepped in close to her and kissed her on the forehead, then the tip of her nose. He licked her lips and kissed them. With pointed tongue he licked her from her neck in a straight line down to her navel. His hands were like the finest feathers, so light were his caresses.
He took her breasts one at a time and caressed them, placed his lips over her nipples and sucked them till the nimbus round them puckered. He laid her down on a cushion and himself over her and made her ready to receive him with caressing fingers grown wet with her lust.
Time and again he kept telling her, between slow and exquisite thrusting, how much he loved her. Dendre lost control of her orgasms as they came rapidly, flowing one after another, sending her into a bright cloud of sweet bliss. She whimpered, shedding tears of pure joy for being fucked by love. For it was love, not passion, nor a mere penis, governing this intercourse.
When they came together he let out a scream. ‘Oh, yes! Yes, my goddess of love,’ and rested prone over her body for some time before rolling off.
Dendre lay in front of the open fire and watched the leaping flames. Gideon had his eyes closed. She reached out to take his
hand and he pulled it away. Dendre was shocked. He had never rejected her, ever! It was as if he had slapped her in the face and awakened her from a trance. Gideon had not made love like that to her since they were young lovers. And then the realisation hit her. He had not in fact been making love to her at all but to Adair. It came back to her: ‘No words to break the moment.’ Of course not. He didn’t want to break the illusion with a Brooklyn accent when he was imagining he was with Adair, with her beautiful, well-educated voice.
For a few seconds Dendre thought she was going to be sick right there. She took deep breaths and tried to calm herself. When she got over the sickness, anger at having been used that way, as a surrogate fuck for Adair, overwhelmed her. It was a horrible thing for Gideon to do. He had crossed the line he himself had drawn: to hurt Dendre as little as possible under the circumstances. For all the sexual antics she and Gideon had indulged in, she had never felt ashamed or dirty before. She did now. She felt as if she had been used like a whore, bought and paid for by a lifestyle. That she had been used and abused with no compunction whatsoever by Gideon because of her obsessive love for him.
She felt no less guilty than he for the state of their marriage: her low self-esteem, obsessive love and concealed awareness once she had grown into it. So what? Fuck feeling guilty! It’s counter-productive, a waste of energy, she told herself. So she tossed that away and hung on to her anger.
Dendre climbed back into her blue jeans and slipped into the white, drop-shouldered silk blouse that had been tossed to the floor. She buttoned the balloon sleeves of the blouse tight to her wrists and was just about to slip into the sleeveless sheepskin jacket she had been wearing when Gideon opened his eyes.
‘Oh, good, you’re awake,’ she said as she threw the handwoven, velvet-lined car rug to him.
‘I’m not cold,’ said Gideon who didn’t much like the tone of her voice nor the look in her eye. He had never heard or seen them before.
‘I didn’t throw it to you because I was worried about whether you are cold or not. I simply don’t want to see you lying there naked, replete with love and sex.’
‘Well, that’s a first,’ he replied, and made no move to cover
himself. ‘What’s this all about, Dendre?’ he asked, a note of annoyance in his voice.
‘You were fucking me but making love to Adair, Gideon. “Let’s make love as no other lovers have ever done.” You were talking to her not me. “No words to break the moment.” Oh, yes, but only because you wanted to keep the illusion that the body you were making love to, having tender sex with, was your mistress’s and not your wife’s.’
It was then that Gideon rose from the floor and pulled on his baggy jeans and paint-stained old jumper. He had never seen Dendre the way she was now. She was, of course, spot on. He walked to a table and took a cigar from the humidor, nipping the tip with a cutter he kept in his pocket. Then he walked back to the fireplace. Gideon stood there, rolling the cigar slowly between his fingers to light it evenly and taking several puffs.
Dendre had watched his every move, waiting in vain for him to say something. She was clear-thinking enough to know he would not deny her accusations. He was many things but never a liar.
‘Your silence tells me it’s all true. Oh, Gideon! I can tell you just how it happened. You called Adair and she told you how much she loved you, how much she wanted you. You had sex on the telephone then finally managed to say goodbye. A short time passed and you called her again, only this time your lust took over. You spoke dirty to her, she loved it and led you on. What did she say? “Put down the telephone and go fuck Dendre and make believe it’s me, my love”?’
‘It’s pointless to go on with this. Let it drop, Dendre.’
There it was, the order and the veiled threat. ‘Not this time, Gideon.’
‘What do you want me to say – that I love you? You know that.’
‘Yes, I do. And more than you think you do. That’s why I’m asking you to give up Adair. No, I’m actually
telling
you to get her out of our lives today and forever.’
‘That’s impossible. I beg you, don’t go on with this,’ he told her as he sat down in a chair next to the hearth.
‘Why? Because you think you love her more than you love me? Because you want to make another life with a younger woman?’
‘Yes! And because she makes me happy, because she is vibrant and clever and amusing and terrifyingly beautiful. She’s strong, can stand up to me. And because we have so much in common. She’s a brilliant art historian who understands the art world and sees it very much as I do. She’s my muse and I am enriched by her love for me.
‘I still love you, Dendre, we have a history of love, but it
is
history. Time has marched on. I need different things in my life, to add to it. It could have been you but I marched on too fast and you got lost in the kitchen. I won’t give up Adair, I can’t, I don’t want to. Nothing has changed. We can still carry on as before if you will forget this one foolish mistake I made.’
‘You are very wrong, Gideon. Something
has
changed. I got a new hair-do, a few fancy clothes, and you love Adair more than you love me. So, you know what? You can have her, with my blessings. I’m leaving you.’
‘A separation maybe would be no bad thing,’ he quickly said.
‘No, I don’t want a separation. A quickie divorce, kept out of the papers for the girls’ sake.’
‘That really isn’t necessary. Adair never meant for us to divorce,’ he told Dendre.
‘Well, she’s going to get more than she bargained for then, isn’t she?’
‘What about the children?’
‘They can live with you and visit me any time they like. You can keep the New York property but I would like either this house or Fire Island.’
‘Hold on, hold on! Are you sure about this?’
Dendre, who had been pacing back and forth in front of Gideon, stopped. She sat down at his feet and looked up at him. ‘I am in too much pain, knowing how deeply in love you are with Adair. If I were to stay with you I would suffer even more than I am now. Your disloyalty and deceit with that fuck … pure cruelty. I have always been your wife and don’t want to become the other woman. It really doesn’t suit me. I don’t think we have a choice but for me to divorce you. You want to live with Adair and I still love you enough to leave you to her. My mind is made up, so please make this parting as easy for me as you can.’
Gideon took her hands in his and raised her from the floor and himself from the chair. He hugged her and wiped the tears from her eyes. For the first time in all the years they had been together he said, ‘I’m sorry.’
They walked from the fireplace to sit next to each other at the table they used to dine at when they had breakfast in their bedroom. It gave them a view of the entire port and the sea beyond.
‘I want this divorce to be amicable, for us to remain friends. Do you think that’s possible?’ he asked.
‘We’ll make it possible,’ she answered.
‘And what about Adair?’
‘Civil to each other, certainly. Friendship I can’t promise. Will you settle for civil?’
‘Yes, and in time maybe friendship?’
‘I’ll try.’
‘Dendre, I don’t want lawyers creating a battle ground where we’re both losers here. Let’s work things out simply between us and let the lawyers put it into legal jargon later.
‘Because you keep the books we know how much we’re worth, the inventory of all my works and their whereabouts. I will write a letter and fax it to our lawyer telling him we are splitting all our assets down the middle. You are to get one half of everything we own.’
Dendre was about to say that it was very generous of him but managed to hold back. She did, after all, deserve that generosity. From the drawer Gideon pulled a pad and pencil and wrote down a few lines.
‘So that takes care of that. Can I leave you to take care of the details?’
‘Yes,’ she told him.
‘Now, the houses. I will buy you any residence you like in New York or anywhere else you want to go because I’m keeping the apartment we have there. Do you think that’s fair?’
Did he expect a compliment, a thank you? True, he was giving her more than she’d ever expected. She had never even considered a settlement. How very much in love he must be, the exactness of it, the fairness, so that he did not have to linger over such things and lose time in seizing his new life with Adair. It was all
happening so fast Dendre’s head was spinning. She was feeling strange, in control but unaccustomed to having so much power over Gideon.
He took her silence for assent. On a piece of paper he wrote ‘Hydra’, on another ‘Fire Island’, and handed them both to Dendre. ‘Neither one of us wants to give up our cherished houses so let fate choose for us. Shuffle these from hand to hand and when you’re ready I will choose one. The other will be yours.’
As he unfolded his piece of paper Dendre suddenly lost her nerve. She wanted to grab it from his hand and tear into small pieces; scream, ‘You bastard! Just give her up and we needn’t go through all this.’
It was as if he were reading her mind; there was only one more fold. He hesitated, looked at her affectionately. He smiled at her wanly then glanced away from her at the piece of paper in his hand. ‘Fire Island,’ he read aloud.
It was the house she’d wanted. Dendre looked at Gideon and said, ‘I’ll explain to the girls and the staff.’
‘I’ll tell Haver. Dendre, once more, will you settle for a legal separation and stay married to me?’
‘No, I think not.’
‘We will speak. Any problem or question, you will call me?’
‘Of course. You’re my best friend, Gideon.’
‘I’m happy you feel that way,’ he told her as he rose to leave the room. It was an awkward moment. Neither of them knew what to do or say next.
‘Just go, Gideon, there really is nothing more to say.’
‘Yes, I think there is. Will it offend you if I stay in touch with Herschel, Frieda and Orlando?’
‘No. As long as you don’t flaunt Adair in front of them. That would offend them and hurt me. You know how much they love and respect you, so you must promise me never to take that away from them.’
‘I wish you would reconsider, and settle for a separation.’