Her Secret Thrill (15 page)

“Thanks,” Jake said. “I've never tried one, but I'm into trying new things lately.” He squeezed Natalie's hand, making her blush again. She'd likely make him pay for that comment later. He couldn't wait.

“You two enjoy.”

“I'm sure we will,” Natalie said, and Jake saw she was trying not to laugh.

He scooped up the bracelet she'd been admiring and said, “How much?”

“Jake, no, really.”

He ignored her. The vendor's eyes narrowed as she sized him up. In the end he didn't haggle and paid her named price. She merely shook her head and said, “Love. Makes men's heads go thick.”

“Yeah,” he said with a grin, “but it's good for business, no?”

She laughed and started to carefully wrap the trinket, but Jake shook his head. “Not necessary. She'll wear it.”

“Oh, she will?” Natalie asked, but there was a teasing light in her eyes.

“Yes,” he said, looking directly into them. “She will.”

He enjoyed watching her pupils dilate. She fumbled with the bracelet. “So she will,” she murmured, as he pushed her hand aside and clasped it together himself.

He shot a wink at the vendor as they turned to go.

“You keep that one,” the lady called out as they left. “He is good for you.”

Jake wanted to agree with her, but he restrained himself. “So, you up for trying a muffelatta? If I'm not mistaken, they're huge. We can share one.”

She looked up at him from beneath her lashes and said, “Why, I'm sure I can handle a huge one all by myself.”

Jake almost choked. Natalie laughed outright.

It was right on the tip of his tongue that very moment to tell her he loved her. That he loved how she kept him guessing, kept him wanting more.

He actually had to force the words back. But he
would
tell her, when the time was right. They walked up the block, the sun bouncing off the bracelet, almost, but not quite, as bright as her smile. He was thankful the clouds were gone from her eyes. For now.

And if he had his way, forever.

E
VENING FOUND THEM
boarding the
Natchez
steamboat for a dinner cruise down the Mississippi. They ate amongst the general chaos of the other couples and families aboard, then wandered out back to listen to a zydeco band. There was a small dance floor, and Jake headed right for it.

“Jake, wait.”

He paused. “Come on, it'll be fun. All you have to do is shuffle and wiggle a little.”

“That's just it. I'm not a good wiggler.”

He looked at her. “I say different.”

“Not that way,” she retorted.

“Hey, wiggling is wiggling.”

She pulled him close. “If I wiggle with you out there the way I do in private, we'll be thrown off the boat.”

Jake pretended to think over the idea, then laughed when she swatted him again. “Yeah, okay, there are children on board, after all.” Then he kept on toward the dance floor.

“Jake.”

He loved it when her voice got low and warning like
that. It usually just meant she was nervous. He could help her with that. He swung her around in front of him and took both her hands as they hit the dance floor. “Just follow me. If you're not having fun by the time this tune ends, we'll quit. Deal?”

He was having to shout to be heard over the raucous singing and fiddle playing. She nodded. But only after sticking her tongue out at him.

He swung her around so her back was to his chest. “Be careful with that. We are in public.” Before she could take aim at his shins, he swung her out again.

Three songs later, he was the one pulling her off the floor.

“Can we come back later?” she begged, still swinging her hips.

“Water” was all he managed to say.

She laughed and tugged him toward the gift shop. “Come on, I want to browse.”

So they browsed, and he swigged a soda, and then she was tugging him back for more dancing.

“You're a quick study,” he said, as she swung around him. He grinned. “I like that in a woman.”

Her smile faltered, but just slightly. Enough for him to notice, even in the waning light. He'd been joking, but somehow it had reminded her of the tenuous nature of their relationship. He drew her close and shuffled her to the edge of the dance floor. He leaned his lips down to her damp neck and kissed a trail to her ear. “I like that in
my
woman,” he amended.

He felt her pulse trip beneath his lips and felt the soft gasp against his skin. But she said nothing. He guided her off the floor altogether. “Come on, I want to show you something.”

She laughed. “I thought we'd discussed doing that on board.”

“Very funny.” She rebounded quickly, another thing he loved about her. But she also used that sharp wit to mask whatever else she might be thinking. He'd have given a great deal to know what she was thinking right now. He tucked her hand in his and led her to the side railing. “Look—”

“Oh, wow. It's stunning.” The sun was setting, painting a golden crescent above the city. They passed the RiverWalk with the white lights outlining the waterside shops, and he pulled her back against his chest and simply enjoyed feeling her against him as they watched the sun set.

“This is nice,” she said quietly, after some time had passed.

It can always be like this,
he wanted to say. It was getting more and more difficult to not press his case more directly. Time was drifting past as quickly as the river beneath them, and he wasn't at all sure she was even thinking about changing her mind.

“Tell me about your family,” he asked, holding her more tightly when she stiffened against him. But dammit, he just couldn't stand there, holding her, smelling her, feeling her heart beat against him, and do nothing.

A moment passed, then she said, “You already know most of it. I have two sisters, one brother and a very stubborn father who I'm trying to keep from killing himself.”

“Why don't you work for the company?”

Another long pause, then a short sigh. “I suppose I chafe under being told what to do.”

He grinned, and leaned down and kissed her hair. “I don't know. I think you take direction really well.”

She tilted her head back so she could look up at him, but she was smiling. “Don't be smug.”

I love you.
It was right there, burning the tip of his tongue. “So, you're the black sheep,” he said, forcing it out over the sudden lump in his throat.

She settled back against him and watched the passing riverside. “I suppose. My sisters never minded having Dad direct them, but that was because they want the life he picked out for them. I guess that just rubbed me the wrong way. Probably because I'm too much like him instead of like my mom.”

“I can't imagine losing a parent,” he said quietly.

“It definitely sucks.” She squeezed his hands at her waist. “She was sick for a long time. Cancer. I don't really remember a time when we weren't taking care of her, rather than the other way around. Of course, we had nannies and the like, anyway. I think my mom was always pretty fragile. Probably having four kids didn't help any, no matter how much help she had after we were born.” She sighed a little. “Which is probably what my dad saw in her. His own parents were pretty tough on him, and here was this lovely, fragile Southern flower who wanted only to be taken care of. I think he enjoyed being her sun and moon. He did love her tremendously.”

“Is that why he never remarried?”

She nodded, then he heard the smile in her voice. “That and there wasn't anyone else who could tolerate him. He's very set in his ways. She didn't push him as long as he took care of her, and he did a very good job of that.”

“You said you've been trying to keep him from killing himself. Is that why you left your job? To take care of him full time?”

She stiffened again, but only for a second. Then she nodded. “He actually died this time—they had to revive him.” She shuddered, and he pulled her around so she faced him, then tucked her against his chest.

“I'm so sorry, Natalie.”

“I am, too.”

“I take it he's not being a good patient?”

“Hardly. And my sisters mean well, but putting them in the same room with him… Well, let's just say they aren't cut out to be nurses. As for my brother… Well, this kind of thing is really uncomfortable for Chuck. He never handled Mom's illness real well, either. His idea of helping is to keep things running as smoothly as possible at work for Dad. And to stay as far away from a sickbed as possible.”

There wasn't any rancor in her tone, but there was resignation. “So you got elected. I'm guessing you're the only one who can get through to him.”

“You guess right.”

“I'm also guessing he wasn't thrilled with your decision.”

“Give the man a Kewpie doll.” Now there was a touch of bitterness in her tone, but she quickly swallowed that. “I may have chosen to do things on my own and go my own way, but my dad has worked hard to provide us with everything we could ever want. Sometimes too much, although I'm the only one who saw it that way. And yet, he was there every day by my mom's side.” She looked up at him. “Someone has to be there beside his.”

He leaned down and kissed her. It was a long, linger
ing kiss filled with more emotion than he could ever re member feeling. “I know he appreciates it, Natalie, even if he resents having to accept the fact that he needs it in the first place.”

“He wants me to work for him. He always has. In fact, he has been waiting for me to get tired of slaving my way up the ladder in New York and come home where I'll be appreciated. He doesn't understand that I want to stand on the merits of my work, not my name. Regardless, this isn't how he planned to get me home, that's for sure.”

For the first time he heard the fatigue, the weariness in her tone, and pulled her more tightly against him, wishing he could infuse her with his strength. The very least he could do was provide a place for her to seek a bit of solace. He wanted to do so much more.

They stood that way for a long time, her face turned out to the river, his bent down looking at her.

“What about your family?”

It was quietly asked, but nonetheless it set his heart pounding. A tentative step, but a step. And she'd made it on her own.

He didn't know where to begin. He felt uncomfortable telling her about his big, happy family, when hers was anything but. “Well, you already know how many brothers and sisters I have. And you're right, we do all work for the family.” He paused, not sure where to go from there.

She glanced up at him, a dry smile on her face. “You don't have to feel guilty because your family is happily functional, you know.” She nudged him. “Come on, I want to hear how it's supposed to work.”

He shrugged. “I'm not sure why we all get along so
well. My parents' attitude, I guess, and we just all really enjoy what we do.”

“But?”

He looked surprised. “But what?”

She moved back a bit and looked more closely at him. “But something. I can hear it in your voice. I know you like what you do, but…?”

It was disconcerting to truly realize how well she'd come to read him. He wasn't used to anyone questioning him about how he felt about anything. Outside his family, anyway. He liked it.

“I, well, as I started to tell you earlier, I've made some changes recently.”

“What changes?” She shot him a look. “Don't tell me you're going renegade like me and leaving the family fold.”

He shook his head, wanting to laugh with her but realizing that even more, he wanted to talk with her about what was really going on inside him. “I'm not leaving. I guess I've just come to a crossroads. I hired some people to help me out with what I do. I can't maintain the workload any longer.”

“It's tough delegating, trusting other people to do things the way you would, as thoroughly as you would.”

He'd thought the same thing, but it made him feel much better hearing her say it. “Exactly. But I've met with them, started their training, and actually, I think it will go okay. Better than I thought.”

“So that's it, then? You're feeling unnecessary?”

Now he did laugh. “No. That's not it.”

She leaned back against the railing, no longer paying attention to their leisurely cruise. “So what is it?”

If he wasn't so caught up in trying to figure that out, he'd have enjoyed her absolute focus on him and his problem. But he didn't really have a problem. Or did he?

He finally shrugged. “I don't know, Natalie. I guess I wasn't too keen on moving into a more managerial role. I'll still be traveling, doing the work I was doing before, only now I'll be directly overseeing the rest of the troubleshooting team.” He paused as if that fact were just now sinking in, and maybe it was. He laughed, but with little humor. “Troubleshooting team. Who would have thought it?”

“You're very successful, like the rest of your family. Why does it surprise you? Isn't it a mark of how well developed your business has become that you need more people to handle things like this? I mean, business will never run smoothly, so you'll always need this kind of support. I'd think this would be a good thing for all.”

“It is, it is.” When she put it like that, there was really no other way to look at it. So why did he feel so…unsettled? “I guess it's still all new and under development. Probably when we get it off the ground and running, I'll feel better about it.”

She looked at him several moments longer, her expression a shade skeptical, but she finally smiled and said, “Well, I think you'll make a wonderful upper-management type. You're very good at giving orders.” She wiggled her eyebrows, and he felt his entire body heat up. Just like that, he was primed and ready for her. He couldn't be sure, but he'd be willing to bet one look was all it would ever take.

Now, how in the hell could he convince her of that?

“Well, coming from someone who wants to climb
to upper management and beyond, of course you'd be prejudiced.”

Her smile froze. Only for a moment, but he was already kicking himself. He reached for her. “Go ahead and yell at me. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking.”

She shook her head, but went into his arms willingly. “It's okay. I'll eventually go back.” She tried for a bold smile. “I'm young and still hungry. I'll get it back.”

Now it was his turn to look at her more closely. “But?”

She gave him a look. “No buts.”

“There's a but. I see it. Are you really afraid you won't be able to climb back to where you were? I know you, Natalie. You're a very determined woman. When you want something, I don't see anything stopping you from getting it.”
I just wish what you wanted was me.

“Thank you. I wish I had your confidence. It's pretty brutal out there.”

He stroked her hair, and she shifted so she was once again leaning back against him. They were coming back to dock. Jake wished he could do something, anything, to keep them out on the river longer. Until he figured out how to make things work between them.

“What made you decide to head to New York? Has that always been your dream? Being partner in a prestigious firm?”

He'd expected an easy answer and was surprised when she was silent for a while. As open as they were being, he didn't think he'd been insensitive this time, but when the silence stretched out, he finally said, “I didn't mean to—”

“No, no. It's okay. I guess it's just that no one has ever asked me. In quite that way, anyway. I don't even
remember why I decided to become a lawyer. Isn't that funny?”

It might have been, but she wasn't laughing. Neither was he. “Do you enjoy it?”

She laughed now. “You know, I've always been so busy trying to chart my corporate climb, I never really stopped to ask myself that. I mean, it's not supposed to be fun on the way up, right?” She shook her head, then swore and fell silent again.