Her Soldier (That Girl #3) (16 page)

Voices stream in the foyer as I begin to scream, letting the rage rear its nasty head. Falling completely back to the tile, my fists pound at it. Two sets of hands grab me and pull me to my feet, but I refuse any help and continue to scream at them. While my hands are restrained, I use my legs to kick at them. A deep, gruff voice in the distance catches my attention. I know Lynlee and Jazzy have me by the arms, trying to hold me, but their presence just causes me to fight more.

I don’t want them to know about Danielle, or for that matter anyone in the world, because that only makes it become my reality. I feel myself gaining on their hold and almost break away. I no longer fear being beaten down by fists or harsh words, so their hold is worthless.

“Jenni.” The deep voice is next to me now, and very familiar. “Calm down. Jenni, you need to calm down and breathe.”

Four hands still clutch at me, restraining me from causing any more damage.

“Watch out, girls.” The voice is close now.

I feel two arms wrap around me and squeeze tightly. His hold is nothing compared to the girls’, and it’s nothing I can’t fight back against because of the sheer power.

“C’mon, girl, you have to calm down. I know this fear and anger.” His strong arms pull me in closer, causing me to melt into him. “Let it go and get it together.”

Levi has me fully in his arms and hypnotized by his hold and voice. His words ring true, and I try to focus on them. My cheek is pressed against his sweaty workout shirt while my eyes look out the broken window. Lynlee and Jazzy are talking to both police officers. I can tell Jazzy is doing more of the talking as Lynlee is crying too hard to get any actual words out.

Lynlee worked for Danielle, and it was in her coffee shop where she met Lincoln and me. It’s where she started her life here in Colorado. I know for a fact she still visited Danielle quite often and called her several times a week for cooking tips and marriage advice, and to discuss my relationship with Beau. Danielle was more than just my rock.

Levi’s voice breaks me from my trance.

“Jenni, I’m going to let go, but if I have to I’ll take you down. I’m not going to let you hurt yourself, this house, or anybody else.” His arms give me an extra squeeze to reinforce his words. “I’m letting go.”

Levi drops his arms to his side, but doesn’t step back from me.

“We are your family and you’re not going to push us away.”

I know I should nod or at least whisper thank you, but I stand still as a statue, void of any emotion. The girls walk behind him and begin talking to him. Their voices don’t make it to my ears as I zone out everything, trying to focus on the next step. Always the next step.

I’m her only living relative that we know of. Who knows where in the hell my dad is, so this is my job. Danielle gave her life to me, sacrificing so much for me on a daily basis, and now I owe her, no matter the pain inflicted on me.

Lynlee steps forward to hug me, and I watch as Levi interferes with her contact. He motions for both of the girls to walk toward his large black SUV. I climb into the front passenger seat. I don’t wait for permission or the endless chatter of who is sitting where. Levi drives and the two girls sit in the back. They talk among themselves and I sit in my coma-like state of shock watching the endless buildings and parks pass by. It becomes blurred as we near the bakery, and I know tears are threatening to spill over, but I’m past the point of caring.

Lynlee’s voice saves me from torturing myself any longer.

“Levi, the officer told us the wrong side of town. That was him, and we need to head to the north side coroner’s office.”

The car falls silent as Levi turns around. We merely miss the bakery by blocks, and I’m thankful for the first time today because it’s something I wouldn’t be able to digest seeing right now. Lit-up building still pass, but the area becomes more industrialized with smatterings of apartment buildings. The car comes to a complete stop at a red light, and I can see Beau’s old apartment building across the road.

I look at Levi as he effortlessly drives. “Hey.” My voice shocks everyone in the car. “Why are you even here, Levi? You’re supposed to be somewhere else.”

“Lincoln and I flew home with Lynlee to surprise Jazzy for a couple of days.”

I nod. “Do you guys remember Maxton?” My own voice startles me, but I know it’s time to finally tell my story.

Jazzy reaches up front, leaning on the back of my seat, and I feel as her arms wrap around my neck. I don’t miss the warning look Levi sends her. I grab onto her hands and begin to talk.

“The night of your wedding, he beat me. And when I say beat, I mean he almost killed me.” My voice begins to shake, but I refuse to stop. I bear down onto Jazzy’s hands and continue.

“He texted me, asking me to meet him out in the parking lot. I had tried to stay away from him because of his temper, and, well, you guys didn’t like him. I knew you were my family and tried to respect it.”

“Jenni, stop.” Lynlee lurches forward, positioning herself on the console with her back to the main windshield. “You are family. You’re my first friend I met here. You’re like a sister. Stop.”

“Maxton beat me like a dog mere feet from all of you.” Rage sets in again and I pull away from Jazzy’s arm, sitting up in the seat and now facing all three of them.

“He ripped my dress off of me, broke my ribs, and busted my face all to hell. There was one thing that stopped him, and that was Beau. Yeah, Beau, you know the man you’ve all suspected, grilled, and judged. Well, he’s the one who saved me.” The smell of wet dirt from that night invades my senses and causes my gut to turn. My hands cover my stomach as I try to stop the gagging sensation building up.

The car is silent as I try to pull myself back together.

“He took me to the hospital and then to his apartment. I didn’t want to reach out to anyone because all you would’ve done was said I told you so about Maxton.”

Levi interjects, and I don’t miss his white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel.

“Jenni, if you didn’t reach out or have Beau come get us from the wedding party, then how would we know something was wrong?”

My anger balls up in my fists, but instead of hitting him, I throw them up into my hair.

“Because I went missing from your reception, Levi.
Oh
, and I can just hear you all saying that’s typical Jenni behavior. Real cool to make fun of me all the time.” I turn and stare down Lynlee then point my finger right in her face. “It took you days. I mean days to even send a quick text to gloat about your new job.”

A monster is born, and I want to slap Lynlee across the face, hoping to make her feel just half the amount of pain I felt in those days.

“My ribs were still broken. My skin still bruised, and you were only worried about your fucking job and star husband.”

I feel the saliva pool in my mouth, and the urge to spit in her face is overwhelming.

“Beau was the only one there for me. Nursing me back to health and coaxing me to call you guys. I lost him. I’ve lost Danielle. I’ve lost the only family who never gave up on me.”

My words are meant for the whole car but I send them flying right into Lynlee’s face. She’s the one who pushed the most and the hardest, and she’s the one who knew Beau before any of us. Knew he had a past, for fuck’s sake. She has more of a past than any of us in this car.

She goes to speak, but Levi stops her, and I turn to face the road again and try to calm myself back into numbness. It’s damn difficult this time. An ounce of guilt resides in my heart at the words and hostility I just flung at Lynlee, and my hatred goes to Beau for running.

After several vicious moments pass, the car comes to a stop in front of a two-story brick building. There are several steps leading up to the front door with a sign over the entrance. My heart sinks at the realization of the task lying ahead of me. I’ve felt pain before, and downright cruelty growing up, but this feeling lingering inside of me is an overwhelming mixture of torment. I don’t know whether to be angry or sad. Should I be crying or yelling?

“I’m so sorry.” Bending over I bury my face in my knees and begin to sob. “I’m so fucking sorry. I shouldn’t have talked like that.”

Immediately, I feel Lynlee lying on my back with her chest pressed to me and her face down near mine.

“What do I do?” I sob into my hands.

“We will be here and you can even be angry at us, Jenni, and you’re right. I should’ve texted sooner. You are one of my best friends, and I love you.”

Lynlee pulls me up into a sitting position, forcing me to look straight into her eyes.

“We are your family and you’re not going to change that.”

“Everyone who ever loves me ends up leaving me. My dad, Beau, and now my Aunt Danielle.”

The passenger side door flies open with Jazzy standing in it. She crawls into the vehicle, practically sitting on my lap.

“You’re right. You’re not loveable. In fact, you are a pain in the ass. One of the most obnoxious, hyper people I’ve ever met, with a heart of gold and killer shoes, and the best spray tan ever. You’ve always been here for each of us with your off-the-wall humor to bring us back up.” Jazzy wraps me up in a hug. “Hell, you taught Lynlee how to give a blow job, and you helped heal my broken heart. You surpass the loveable part. You are our sister.”

Lynlee adds her arms to the mix and we hug for a very long time, and I know somewhere deep down I need to forgive them and myself for the past. It won’t happen today, and it may not happen tomorrow or in the near future, but it does need to happen. Forgiveness doesn’t come easy, but at some point I can’t be ashamed of myself any longer.

A tapping sound on the hood pulls all of our attention up. Levi steps out of the SUV to greet Lincoln. His dark hair is a mess. You can tell he just came from the gym in his sweaty workout clothes. We watch in silence as Levi fills him in on everything. The two brothers stand side by side, ready to help fix whatever needs fixing.

“Levi is way fucking hotter than Lincoln.”

Jazzy’s voice shocks all of us, and when her words register, we all bust out in laughter.

“Well, he is. My god, look at his biceps compared to Lincoln’s, and that strong jawline.”

I’ll never admit it, but I might agree with her. She rattles on with her nonsense while Lynlee and I just giggle at her. When she finally takes a breath, I ask her, “Did you just pop a lady boner while sitting in my lap?”

The two howl in laughter. Lynlee takes my face and directs it toward her instead of the Wilks brothers. “There’s my Jenni, and you can bet your sweet ass we will stand by your side through all this.”

The stone cold officer joins the men at the front of the vehicle and motions for me. I don’t want to leave. It seems a glimpse of light has made it into everlasting darkness. Even though everything isn’t perfect, I don’t care. Stepping out of this car is going to make everything real.

Levi nods to us and Lincoln rounds the car, and heading to Lynlee’s side, he pulls her out and wraps her up in his arms. I can hear her sobs wracking her body, and I watch as he gently holds her and kisses the top of her head. My awful words haunt me, and I’m reminded again of how close Danielle and Lynlee were.

“Let’s go, Jenni.” Levi is out our side of the car waiting for both of us.

He steps to the side as Jazzy climbs out of the SUV and remains waiting as I pull myself to a standing position. My knees are wobbly and threaten to give out at any minute. Jazzy takes one of my hands and Levi the other. We silently walk up the steps to the building. The officer holds the door open for us, and I notice Lynlee and Lincoln right behind us.

We wait for several minutes before another officer and a woman in normal clothing greet us. They both introduce themselves, and I find myself going back into my self-induced coma. Lincoln holds tight to Lynlee as he listens, but it’s Levi who steps up and takes all directions. I know I don’t have to listen because he is.

“I can’t,” Lynlee immediately blurts out.

“We’ll go. You guys wait here.”

Levi and Jazzy tighten their grip on my hands, and we follow the officer and the strange lady down a long, dimly-lit corridor. There are several doors on each side; some are open, while others are shut. The overhead lights buzz and conversations linger from some of the offices. We turn down another hallway and enter through swinging doors. The temperature becomes much colder.

The lady informs us we are entering the room where my aunt is. My pace slows down and I try to dig my heels in; however, Levi and Jazzy don’t accept my hesitation and keep me walking right along.

“You don’t have a choice.” Levi’s voice echoes in the hallway.

Rounding the final corner all the walls seems to shrink in on me. The room is tiny and even more dimly lit. Steel covers every surface, and I notice a sink and then a grate in the floor where water and body fluids drain. There’s a smell in the air that offers up a silent promise of heartache. 

The lady begins speaking, and I’m unable to comprehend a word. There’s a table before us, with a light blue blanket covering a body. My aunt’s body. I know it’s her, and the officers know it’s her, but I have to identify her as a formality. I study the outline of her body lying on the cold steel and try hard to make out a piece of her, so when they pull back that sheet the blow won’t be so horrible. Maybe it will soften the blow to my heart?