Her Tender Tyrant (12 page)

Damn him! Damn his stupid ideas about love and relationships! And damn her for being so naïve! She should have anticipated this! She should never have slept with him. She should have called Jemma, thanked her very much for the offer to observe her herd and then left the house at the first sight of Marcus Alfieri.

She put all of her papers into her tote bag, then changed clothes. She couldn’t stay here tonight. It was too painful, thinking of all the nights she’d slept in Marcus’ arms. And she didn’t trust herself to stay out of his room tonight.

Putting her suitcase and tote bag by the door, she went back and cleaned the bathroom, stripped the sheets off of the bed and quietly walked down the hallway to the laundry room. She would just put the sheets into the washer and re-make the bed. A good guest would make sure the sheets were washed, dried and put away again but Juliette would apologize to Jemma another time. She just had to get out of here. Fast.

Once that chore was done, she grabbed her bag and her tote, then shuffled down the stairs as quietly as she could. She didn’t want Marcus to hear her sneaking out. First of all, she didn’t want him to know that she was sneaking away. Nor did she want to see him again. She had to just get out of here and start fresh.

She was grateful that the alarm was still off, since her fingers were shaking too badly to find the right numbers, and pressing the wrong code more than three times would sound the alarm.

Into the dark night, she lugged her duffel bag and tote bag, thinking of that first night when she’d arrived. The ice cream, she thought, remembering it melting down from his dark hair onto his shoulder. Goodness, he’d looked magnificent that night! Oh, how she’d lost so much sleep dreaming about the man. And the dreams hadn’t come close to the reality of Marcus. He was truly an extraordinary man. Except for his morals.

With a sigh, she unlocked her car door and tossed her belongings onto the passenger seat. Thankfully, the old rust bucket started up at the first try and she was driving down the driveway, out of Marcus’ life.

It took her an hour to reach her apartment. She didn’t turn on any lights, just curled up on her old, scratchy sofa that she’d found on the curb when someone was trying to get rid of it. She’d been delighted with it at that point, but after staying with Marcus in Jemma’s marvelous house, the sofa didn’t seem very special anymore.

In fact, her whole life seemed pretty grey at the moment.

She thought about changing into her pajamas and climbing into her bed, but even that thought sounded wrong. She thought about the pajamas she’d been wearing for Marcus and he hadn’t even blinked at them tonight. On previous nights, she’d pulled on pajamas only to have him laugh and strip her naked again.

She shivered just thinking about the way he made love. She’d thought he was pouring his soul into their lovemaking. But now she had to accept that it was just sex.

Since she couldn’t sleep and couldn’t even get comfortable, she pulled up her laptop and stared at the screen. Juliette pushed Marcus out of her mind and spread her work out over the small kitchen table. She then went through and worked on every section of the paper, adding details, researching statistics, editing the text so it was stronger.

The sun was coming up over the horizon and she was on her second pot of coffee when she heard her phone ringing. Seeing the name on the screen, she pressed the “ignore” button and went back to work. Just thinking about Linda and Marcus together gave her another idea. A moment later, her fingers were flying over the keyboard, adding in another power play that women use.

By lunch time, she couldn’t type any longer, her fingers were too numb and her brain had fizzled out. She’d had so much coffee with no food and she was both jumpy and exhausted. Taking a shower, she felt better, but the idea of eating anything still made her sick to her stomach. She just couldn’t even think of food. Not right now. Falling down onto her bed, she closed her eyes and started crying again. In earnest this time because there wasn’t anyone around who could hear her.

She let it all out, sobbing and blowing her nose, then repeating. She’d always thought that crying helped ease the pain, but right now, her nose hurt, her eyeballs ached, her heart was still reeling from the crushing blow of realizing that all her hopes and dreams were now squashed and she was still trying to tell herself that she shouldn’t be angry about Marcus’ attitude towards marriage.

But she was angry! She was furious with him both for being so wrong about what they had together that he felt the need to find someone else and furious with herself for thinking she might be the woman who could stop his need for female variety.

She hadn’t been enough for him! She needed to move on and forget him. But something inside of her was still devastated.

Wiping her eyes once more, she walked to her fridge and cleaned it out. She’d meant to only be gone for a week, but Marcus had convinced her to keep her study going. Well, the study was done, he was gone and she couldn’t put fresh food back into a dirty fridge.

Symbolically, she grabbed the sponge and scrubbed her fridge, getting rid of every particle of mold or mildew. When her fridge was once more sparkling, she moved to the freezer, tossing out all of the old stuff, even the old ice cubes. She’d start completely fresh, with all new foods.

She wished she could get rid of her clothes, because each of her outfits was inhabited by the memories of the things they’d done. But that was just being ridiculous and she didn’t have the money for new clothes anyway.

Maybe once she got a job.

Sitting down at her kitchen table again, she glanced at her phone, realized that there were six more phone calls, all from Marcus and her heart ached again. Focus, she told herself. Focus only on the paper, on work.

She could get through this, she coached herself. What would she tell a patient or client? What would be her advice? She was a therapist; she should know what to do.

Cure te ipsum
, she thought. Doctor heal thyself.

Shaking her head, she turned back to her thesis, adding in even more details, backed up her analysis with more research and even came up with a school task plan to discover the bullies as well as the wounded.

Three days, six hours of sleep and several more pots of coffee later, Juliette stood in front of her professor. Nervous energy surrounded her as she waited for her advisor to give her feedback. When the woman set the bound material down on her desk and slowly removed her glasses, Juliette thought the worst. It wasn’t good enough. She hadn’t put in enough details or worked her arguments well enough. She let her breath out slowly, her whole body deflating.

“It is brilliant,” her advisor said. Her hand was splayed out over the book and a gleam in her eyes. “Simply brilliant. It is topical, relevant, creative…and I thoroughly agree with your analysis but you did it in a way that spans economic and social levels. This material is truly marvelous, Juliette.”

Juliette couldn’t believe those words. Nor could she believe how…empty she felt. Perhaps it was because she didn’t have Marcus to share the moment with. He had no idea that she’d even finished her paper, much less that it was termed “brilliant”. Now why had she wanted so badly to tell him about it? They were through. That part of her life was over.

And she’d never get to watch the horses run through the pasture with Marcus’ arms around her, his strong fingers pointing out various behaviors that might assist her in her arguments. She’d never feel his warmth surround her or his strong arms close around her ever again.

“Are you okay?” her advisor asked.

Juliette looked up, startled. She’d gone off into her own world again. “Oh, yes!” she lied. That was becoming a habit lately. “Yes. I’m fine.”

Her advisor nodded. “It is a bit deflating, isn’t it?”

“I’m sorry?” Juliette asked, not sure what the woman was talking about. Surely she couldn’t know about Marcus. Or was it written all over her face?

“I know how you feel. Sometimes we spend a large amount of our life working on one thing and when that thing is finished, we are a bit off course. Everything in our life revolved around that one thing and when it is over, or in this case, when the thesis is turned in and accepted, we don’t have an immediate plan. It’s hard to figure out which way to go.” She patted Juliette’s hand. “But you’ve earned your degree and you can be proud of this argument. Now we just need to get you out into the work force so you can spread that brilliant mind of yours and help people heal.”

Juliette smiled, wishing that someone could heal her.

She walked out into the brilliant autumn sunshine, not sure where she should be going. She’d turned in her thesis, extra copies for whoever needed them, and she just stood there.

What was she to do now?

One week after Juliette had left him, Marcus tossed the papers onto his desk, unconcerned that they fanned out, some of them falling to the floor. Staring out the window, his thoughts automatically turned to Juliette. His mother and father were back with the horses now and he was back in his own home. But where was Juliette? She hadn’t answered any of his calls or e-mails. Finally, he just stopped.

He pressed a button on his desk. “Linda, get me the grant proposals for the past six months please,” he called through the doors. It suddenly occurred to him that one of his subsidiaries had funded her for her thesis studies. Which meant that his company was entitled to a copy of her work. Juliette damn well better have submitted it, and it had better be good. Or he would…

What? What was he going to do if it was bad?

Which it wouldn’t be because Juliette was smart. She might be confusing and insensitive. She might have run out on what they could have had. But that didn’t mean she was stupid.

Linda returned with only one bound book. “I think this is what you’re looking for,” she said, handing him the thick manuscript.

“What’s this?” he asked, flipping it over. When he saw the name on the front cover, his stomach tightened with anger. And love.

“It’s Juliette’s thesis. I just got it in the mail last week but I haven’t had time to go through it. Do you want me to read it and make notes for you?”

Marcus shook his head and tossed it onto his desk along with the other papers. “No. I’ll read it tonight. Thank you.”

Linda walked out of the office but Marcus was barely aware of her exit. Even Linda had been acting strangely lately. She kept touching him, giving him strange looks that didn’t make sense. They were working long hours to finalize another acquisition, a company he’d discovered when reading through piles of materials trying to get Juliette out of his mind. He wondered what she would say to him if she found out that her departure from his life had helped him financially. She’d made so many remarks about his wealth that maybe he would tell her, just to irritate her.

Marcus sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. Hell, he didn’t want to irritate her. But it would certainly be nice to know why she’d bailed so quickly. One moment, she was sitting on Adriana’s bed, looking sexy and adorable. The next, she was gone. He’d been listening to her move around in the room but when there was only silence, he’d gone in to look in on her, telling himself he just wanted to make sure she was okay. In reality, he’d wanted to watch her sleep, to just feast his eyes on her and try to figure out what had changed. That morning, she’d been so warm and giving, he’d been sure that she was as invested in the relationship as he was.

His hand slipped into his pocket, his thumb and forefinger playing with the diamond ring he’d been keeping there ever since that morning. He’d gone out to get the ring and by the time he came back, everything had changed. It was like a switch had flipped and she was no longer the warm, wonderful woman he’d been holding in his arms for days, laughing with and teasing.

He’d thought about asking Linda why a woman would switch off so quickly but held off. Linda’s odd changes bothered him. It was almost as if his always professional, always efficient assistant was…flirting with him? No, certainly not!

He was just imagining things.

But dammit all! He couldn’t figure out women. Before he’d met Juliette, everything had been simple. Women wanted one thing from him and he wanted one thing from them. The two issues had been clear and easily affirmed, both parties getting what they needed.

Juliette hadn’t adhered to any of those rules. She was as clear as a muddy pond!

But damn was she beautiful. And smart and sexy and…he still wanted her.

Or more to the point, he wanted to understand why she’d rejected what they had together.

He turned around and looked at his desk, determined to get her out of his mind once and for all. He had to accept that she didn’t want to talk to him. She didn’t want to achieve closure to their relationship.

How many times had he done that to the women in his life? How many times had one of his mistresses pleaded with him to explain why? He hadn’t had an answer so maybe that’s what Juliette was doing to him now. Maybe he was just getting what karma was thinking he was owed for the callous way he treated women in his past.

Although he’d never just up and left them like Juliette had. He’d always been very up front about where each relationship would go – which was nowhere. So if the women in his past had thought or hoped for something more, that was their fault.

Juliette had been different. There had been no discussion up front. Only fights and arguments used to mask a simmering, steaming hot attraction for each other.

Would he do anything differently?

Hell yes. He would have demanded an explanation. That last night, when she was sitting so primly on her bed, looking sad and alone…

He stopped pacing, staring into space as he went through those words again. Why did he think that? Of all the adjectives that could have popped into his mind, why those two?

But nothing came to mind except her soft, brown eyes and those full, amazing breasts that had distracted him so completely that night.

Damn, he didn’t know anything now.

And he wasn’t concentrating on work. The past week had been profitable but only because he’d driven his staff at a killing pace, the only way he could get Juliette out of his mind. And even that hadn’t worked out the way he’d hoped.

A sudden thought occurred to him.

“Linda, call up the university and find out if Juliette has gotten a job yet.”

Ten minutes later, Linda came back in with a piece of paper. “So far, she remains on the unemployed side of the labor equation,” she joked, not realizing how much her comment stabbed at her boss. “But I found this.”

“What is it?” he asked.

“Her resume.” Linda leaned in, her breast “accidentally” brushing against his arm and he moved away. “Not very full,” she commented.

Marcus’ eyes skimmed through the material. “Call HR and have someone contact her for a job.”

Linda’s eyes flashed a moment before she could hide the anger. “Do you think that’s a good idea?” she asked.

Marcus couldn’t believe that Linda was actually questioning him. She’d never have dared to do that in the past.

She must have caught on to his fury because she actually backed up a step. “Hear me out,” she urged, raising her hands defensively. Linda thought quickly, not sure how she could keep the little twit out of Marcus’ headquarters. The man had been going more than a little crazy over the past week but Linda refused to attribute his current insanity to his missing tart. But she knew to tread lightly, just in case.

“If you offer her a job here at your headquarters, first of all, what would she do? We aren’t really set up to assist psychology majors with no experience.” She saw Marcus’ eyes narrow and knew the ice had thinned significantly under hear feet so she continued on quickly. “And secondly, she might become offended, thinking that the job offer was a handout. That you pity her because you don’t think she could get a real job somewhere.” She waited, holding her breath to see if her argument took hold in his agile brain.

Marcus sighed, leaning his hands down on top of his desk. “You’re right. So what do you suggest?”

Linda breathed a bit easier now. “If you want to give her a job somewhere, why not call up one of your subsidiaries and tell them to create a position. You could keep track of her, make sure she gets on her feet. And when she’s more established, and better able to fill out a resume with more sparkle to it,” she tried to keep the sneer out of her tone, “then call up one of your buddies and get her a job with a different company.”

Marcus thought about it for a long moment. “You’re right,” he told her. “I’ll figure out something but get her in here for an interview with HR. Get the ball rolling.”

Linda watched with growing consternation as he lifted the discarded thesis paper. “I’m out of here for the day,” he told her.

Without another word, he walked out of the office, leaving Linda to stare after him in astonishment. Marcus Alfieri never took time off from work. Even when he was on vacation, he worked! So what was going on now? Why was he acting like this? Surely, it wasn’t because of that nit wit! Linda refused to believe that all of her hard work over the years, all of the time she’d taken to prove that she was perfect for Marcus, was not going to work. Oh no, her plans would not be fouled up by some uppity little chickybabe! Linda had plans and her number one priority was marrying Marcus Alfieri and becoming one of the wealthiest women in the world.