It was later, as they counted their dead, that they discovered the king had been murdered. No one saw the assassin and no mark was left on his body, but he was found in his tent, his sacred sword still sheathed at his side, his eyes shut as though he merely rested.
All this Janessa listened to without saying a word. She took little notice of General Hawke’s tales of war or even his account of her father’s assassination. Even when he went on to tell of the relentless horde’s movements, how they had passed Coppergate, all but ignoring the city and moving into Braega, she had barely registered his words. The men recognised her grief, and carried on their meeting as though she were not there, talking of troop movements, bolstering defences, auxiliary levies, mercenary companies, and a score of other things.
Janessa was glad of their consideration, but it was not just grief that occupied her mind. It was not just the fact that her father had been killed, his body brought back on a plain wooden pallet, unadorned and inglorious, that concerned her. It wasn’t even that she was now burdened with the responsibility of governing the Free States and seeing to the well-being of its peoples. She knew it was this that should have been foremost in her thoughts; that there were thousands relying on her and her council to make the right decision, to protect and defend them.
And yet, to her shame, all Janessa could think of was River.
‘… and we must speak to the Banker’s League,’ Odaka said.
It was as though his words suddenly brought her back to the meeting, the faces of the other men suddenly coming into sharp focus. Why this comment meant anything more to her than anything else that had been said she did not know, but there was something in it, something in Odaka’s tone, that made her think this was the most important thing of all.
‘Why is that?’ she asked.
The men all turned to her, as though noticing her for the first time. Odaka looked to Chancellor Durket, whose face contorted with a sickly smile before he began speaking.
‘Majesty, the conflicts your father has been involved in over the years, the strife that has afflicted the Free States, has taken a devastating toll on the Crown coffers. We are already indebted to the Banker’s League for just over ten million crowns. If we are to face the Khurtas and see them struck from our lands we will need further funds to pay for troops, equipment, supplies.’
Janessa had been little involved with the running of her father’s kingdom, but even she knew the Banker’s League was a consortium headed by rich and powerful figures from several foreign countries. Without their aid the Free States would be at the mercy of its enemies.
‘So what should we do?’
Durket looked to Odaka, who offered little help, forcing him to continue. ‘We have set up a meeting with one of their representatives. I’m sure we will be able to come to a mutually beneficial arrangement.’
‘I will speak with him.’ She’d said it before she’d even thought about the words.
‘Majesty?’ Durket’s eyes seemed to bulge. ‘I think it best if I …’
‘I said I will speak with him, Chancellor.’
Durket nodded, but Odaka took up where Durket had left off.
‘I understand your eagerness to take up your father’s mantle, but perhaps we should begin with other, less testing, matters of state. The Banker’s League can be … tricky, at best.’
‘I will soon be responsible for
all
matters of state. My father did not hide behind his council, and neither will I.’ She stood, hoping it might give her a modicum of authority, but feared it made her look more like a petulant child. ‘General Hawke, we will discuss later what supplies our armies need to face the enemy. Chancellor, I will need to see all ledgers relating to the Crown’s expenditure. Odaka, you will make the arrangements for my coronation immediately. Our people cannot be left without a monarch, especially with the enemy at our gates.’
Each of the men nodded at her demands and Janessa, for the first time ever, almost felt up to her task. Her fists were clenched, if only to stop them shaking, but it still felt good. She felt in command.
Nevertheless, she had to leave before she crumbled. Before the veneer of control sloughed off and revealed what lay beneath – that she was scared and in pain.
‘If that will be all, gentlemen?’
She rose to leave, and the four men stood and bowed their heads as she passed.
The corridors of Skyhelm housed more Sentinels than Janessa had ever seen. Some of her father’s Knights of the Blood also stood vigil taking some respite before their return to the war in the north, though Janessa guessed they were no longer her father’s – they were now hers.
As surrounded as she was by men who would gladly give their lives for her, Janessa still felt vulnerable. She made her way to her chamber as fast as she could. When she reached it she took from her gown the only key that would open her door, and unlocked it.
It was dark inside, as it always was. Years ago, in a different life, Janessa had hated it when her room was plunged into darkness. Now she didn’t care, for she knew
he
would be waiting in the shadow.
She locked the door behind her and, within a moment, felt his breath on her neck, his arms moving to envelop her. She closed her eyes and let herself succumb to him.
Over the past days he had stayed in her chamber and she had nursed him back to health. During that time she had told him everything, as he had told her his own fears and dreams days before in the tiny square. They had found solace in one another, a union of thought and spirit. Raelan and Leon and thoughts of any other suitor were forgotten. Only one man owned her heart.
She wanted him more than anything, wanted to feel his kiss, his arms around her, the weight of him on her. Yet she had resisted, as had he. Now though, after her father’s funeral, after endless council meetings, she was tired; she could resist no longer and she would not allow River to either.
They fell on the bed, and he kissed her lips. She kissed him back greedily, sharing his breath, running her fingers over his back, feeling the scars and the taut muscle beneath. One hand ran down his hard chest, brushing over the bandage that protected the now healed wound at his side. There was a livid scar – just one more to join his score of others. As her hand moved down towards his groin he stopped her.
‘We should not,’ he said, words she had heard him say so many times, but she was in no mood to stop now. She would be queen soon enough, servant and master to thousands, responsible for the lives and souls of her subjects. Surely she deserved this … this one respite from duty and obligation?
‘We should,’ she replied, moving her hand further down.
He was strong enough to stop her if he truly wished, but it was clear his desire was as deep as hers and he allowed her to fumble at the drawstring of his trews as he kissed her neck, her breath coming in rapid gasps.
Frantically she pulled up her skirts then pulled him inside her, their lips locked together, her tongue darting forward. She gasped as he pushed inside, her mouth still locked to his, losing herself in the sensation and taste of him.
River began to move his hips, at first slowly then more urgently. For a moment she stopped kissing him and opened her eyes to look at his face, seeing he was already watching her. She wanted to say something, but nothing seemed appropriate. Before she knew it her eyes were closed once more, and she had grasped the hard flesh of his buttocks, pulling him deeper inside her, faster, until with a final chorused gasp it was over.
She let out a long breath, revelling in the feeling as River clung on to her. Slowly he raised his head and she could see tears in his eyes. For days they had confided in one another, and Janessa knew those tears were a bitter mix of joy and regret. She knew they would taste much the same as her own, and she kissed them away, feeling their saltiness on her lips and reassuring him with her smile.
Later, as she lay in his arms, surrounded by the dark and the sounds of the night outside, she felt more at peace than she ever had before. The pain of her father’s loss, the threat to the Free States, her responsibilities as ruler all seemed to fade.
‘I wish it could be like this forever,’ she whispered.
‘Then we should leave this place,’ he replied.
Somehow she’d known he would say those words before he even spoke them.
‘We can’t,’ she said.
But you can
;
you can do anything you wish
. ‘I am to be queen. I cannot abandon my people.’
Your people? They are your father’s people; you did not ask for this. Run away, run far from this place and never come back.
‘Then I will stay by your side, to protect you.’
She smiled at that. At his naïveté. At his stubborn sense of loyalty. ‘You cannot.’
And in an instant it was clear that she would have to make a choice between the Steel Crown and her lover. She would never be able to have both.
‘I will not leave you. The Father of Killers has vowed to take you, and he will not stop until his task is done. Your guards cannot protect you. These walls cannot protect you. Only I can protect you. We must leave this place … together.’
And as quick as that her choice was made. He had made the decision for her, the one she wanted, and with it he had freed her of any burden.
‘But where would we go?’
‘Far away, over the seas if we have to, where no one knows us.’
‘But …’
She stopped. Janessa could think of no further excuses. There was no reason she should not run away with River and leave this place behind her. She had not asked for this responsibility, to be married off for political prudence, to be forced to rule a nation and its people simply by chance of birth. She could not cope with this. She was not strong enough. Steelhaven and the Free States would be better off without her. A man like Odaka would make a far better ruler.
Why couldn’t she just live like other women? Why couldn’t she choose her own husband and have all the things other people could: a family, a home, the chance to grow old with the one she loved?
And she
could
have those things; it was all so easy.
Just take River’s hand and run away.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Yes, we’ll do it.’
For the first time since she had met him, she saw River smile. It was a good smile, a kind smile. She knew that she had made the right choice.
‘Then we should not tarry,’ River said. ‘The Father of Killers will not wait long. It’s been many days. Even now he may have sent one of my brothers. We must go immediately.’
‘We’ll need food and clothes for the journey,’ she said. ‘I can get those. Then we can be away.’ Just saying the words thrilled her.
She kissed him for a long time before rising from the bed and donning her gown. As she left the chamber and moved down the corridor to find the supplies they would need, her stomach was turning cartwheels.
Everything about this was wrong. Her head told her she was betraying her people, Odaka, even the memory of her father, but at the same time her heart told her this was the right thing to do, and her heart was winning over her head … it always had.
For a time she had been a slave to duty, forced to do what she thought was right, but she had always been the wild wolf of the family.
Now was not the time to be caged.
As she reached the end of the corridor, two Sentinels moved forward to accompany her, but she dismissed them with a gesture. On the way down to the kitchens she saw many more men watching the palace than usual. It would be difficult for her and River to get out of Skyhelm unseen, but she had done it many times before, and if River had managed to make his way in without being spotted, she was damn sure he could get out again.
The lower levels of the palace were in darkness, but Janessa needed no light to find her way. The air smelled of cooked meats and vegetables from the night’s supper and she suddenly wondered if she’d been missed at the grand dinner table.
It didn’t matter now. She would be missed soon enough. Perhaps the mystery surrounding her disappearance would baffle historians for years to come.
Janessa was creeping along in the dark, her hand teasing the wall beside her, when she saw a dull light ahead. It was strange for anyone to be here in the kitchens at this hour, and she stood in the dark, wondering who it might be and whether she should proceed. But then how could she let anything stop her now? She could not wait.
Before she could move forward once again she heard a sound from around the corner. It was a gasp, a laboured pant – and Janessa knew what it was. Even had she not experienced such pleasures herself so recently she would have known the sound of lovers locked in passion.
It grew louder, pealing out in the dark as the lovemaking grew more insistent. The sound of a table scraping on the tiled stone floor accompanied the rhythmic gasps. Janessa would have left, not wanting to intrude on such an intimate act, until she heard the words.
‘Come on, fuck me!’
It wasn’t the words themselves that made her stop in her tracks, but the fact she recognised the voice.
But no, it couldn’t be. She almost dismissed it, until she heard the man.
‘Shhh. You’ll wake the servants.’
No! No, it couldn’t be him too.
‘Just shut up and fuck me, my lord!’
Gods, it
was
her!
Janessa couldn’t resist going forward, peering round the corner, and there she was, lying on the table on which the kitchen staff prepared meals, her legs wrapped around Lord Raelan Logar as he thrust inside her again and again.
Graye.
Her friend Graye.
Janessa stood and watched as the man who had professed his love and proposed marriage to her rutted with the girl who had been her closest confidante for most of her life.
Just then Graye opened her eyes and saw Janessa standing there. She didn’t speak, but looked horrified, grabbing Raelan and shaking him.
‘What is it? Oh …’ he said, as he too saw Janessa standing in the candlelight. For several awkward moments they stood watching one another until Raelan plucked up the courage to speak.