Read Here Be Sexist Vampires Online

Authors: Suzanne Wright

Here Be Sexist Vampires (27 page)

“No.”

“No? Why?” He was amused.

My God he had to know that even if I was up for shagging someone who suffered from Obsessive Consort Disorder – which I definitely wasn’t, honest – I would never have given in to him so easy anyway after the way he had snubbed my offer last night. Feminine pride was a big thing. “A girl can change her mind.”

“Then change it back again.” He edged closer again but still didn’t touch me. Thank God. It was hard enough just having him that close and feeling his breath at my ear.

“Can we go through this file please?” I said impatiently.

He looked about to object but then his grin became crooked and he narrowed his eyes. “If that’s what you want, then that’s what we’ll do.”

I picked up the file and sat on one of the leather-cushioned table chairs. At the forefront of the contents was an A4 photograph of a middle-aged bloke – although he could be centuries old in vampire years – with quite a friendly face. His shoulder-length sleek hair was almost white and his deep-set amber eyes were framed by sparse black lashes. He had a child-like button nose which was probably the main factor in giving him such a friendly appearance.

“That’s Connelly. Rupert Connelly,” added Jared as he sat on the chair next to mine. “He’s the High Master of the entire Caribbean and other places like Hawaii and Brazil. He’s a Keja. He’s about two centuries old. Worships Antonio. Any time he’s ever visited The Hollow he’s stuck to Antonio like a fly to shit.”

“Is he as friendly as he looks?”

“I’ve honestly never met anyone so giddy. Very sociable. Giggles a lot. One thing I know for certain is that he’d never betray Antonio. If an attack does happen, he’ll align himself with Antonio and do everything he can to help protect The Hollow.”

“Will his gift do much good in an attack?”

“That depends how involved he is during the defence. He has infrared vision, so if he was leading his own legion as opposed to having someone else do it then he’d be able to point them in the right direction of where the invaders are.”

I took a moment to memorise Connelly’s face before then moving on. The bloke on the next photograph didn’t look much older in human years than me, but his almond blue eyes held a twinkle of wisdom so I guessed he’d been around for a while. His facial structure was sculpture-worthy and made all the more appealing by the hood of sandy tight curls that hung down to his cheekbones. Very broad shoulders, I noticed.

“That’s Carlos – he doesn’t use a surname. A Pagori. High Master of quite a few places like Spain, the Canary Islands, Morocco, Portugal...He doesn’t reside anywhere in particular, he likes to travel. Sociable enough but only interested in serving his own interests.”

“So if he deduces that Bennington’s plan of attacking The Hollow has a high chance of succeeding, he could easily align himself with Bennington.”

“Oh yeah.”

“His gift?”

“He’s Psychometric. By touching something he can give details about its past, present, future – that kind of thing.”

“Just objects, or people too?”

“Not sure, actually.” He snickered at the next photograph as I moved on from Carlos. “Rowan Murdock,” he drawled. “Not the nicest of vampires.”

Rowan looked as though he had been Turned when he was in his late forties. He had long, dark incredibly straight hair and the largest eyes, largely glinting amber. Clearly a Keja vampire. With his chunky lips pursed and one dark eyebrow arched he gave off an arrogant vibe. “He looks stuck up.”

Jared giggled. “He mainly lives in Italy, but he’s High Master over Greece, all the Greek islands, Turkey, Algeria, Egypt and more. He’s got an extensive bloodline.”

“So he’s quite the biter.”

“You could say that. He always takes his life-partner with him to the gatherings. Marcia I think her name is. She’s very...prim and proper.”

“A snob,” I offered.

“But she won’t be snobbish to you because she’ll think you’re my consort and she’s never snobbish toward the consorts which I think is weird.”

“She obviously just doesn’t feel threatened by the consorts.”

“You mean the way Joy feels threatened by you?” His smile was cute, inviting and playful. His eyes raked over me again.

I gave him a pointed look. “Oi, we’re talking about these High Master vampires, nothing else.”

“I know,” he said innocently like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth.

I tapped the photograph. “So what’s this Rowan like with regards to Antonio? A fan or...?”

“He’s not exactly chummy with him but I can’t see him ever betraying Antonio. He thinks that highly of himself, he’d never associate or align himself with any vampires who were challenging Antonio. That kind of thing is beneath him. His gift is pretty cool. He can mimic any non-living substance just by touching it.”

Although I could feel Jared’s eyes on me I forced my concentration onto the photograph, memorising the face, before flipping to the following one. The first thing I noticed about this bloke was his nose; long, wide and turned up. His cropped hair was a reddish gold and his tiny beard was a few shades darker than his hair. There was a large ring of red around his grey eyes, meaning not only was he a Pagori but he was angry, hungry or horny when this photograph was taken.

“Curran. Don’t know his first name.” Jared paused to open another NST. “He kind of keeps himself to himself at any gatherings, but he’s alright once you get him talking. He’s not High Master over many places. Mostly just Canada and Alaska.”

“That could go in our favour. He’ll figure that after the battle there’ll be enough casualties to mean that some countries are without a High Master. If he wants more territory he might join Antonio.”

Jared nodded. “Very likely. But I’d say that the other side will try to coax him to betray Antonio because his gift is pretty impressive. Duplication.”

“So...He can create duplicates of himself or others and scatter them around to join the battle to replace any casualties.”

Jared nodded again. “I can’t see him betraying Antonio though. I’m not saying he’d definitely join the battle, he might want to sit it out completely.”

I knew the bloke on the next photograph. I recognised his chubby face, the thin coal-black moustache, the smarmy expression, and it was impossible to forget the way he combed his dark hair to the side of his head, covering his bald patch (not so well).

“Bennington,” I said.

“That’s right. You’ve met him, right?” I nodded. “Creepy guy. He might want to have a catch up if he sees you.”

“Or try to employ me.”

“He tried to take you off Victor?”

“Yeah, a few times. Out of the two of them, Victor was the lesser evil.”

Jared tilted his head, conceding that. “He’s High Master over Greenland and Iceland as well as Britain. Out of all the High Masters, he’s had the most challenges to his role.”

“I’m not surprised, he makes enemies pretty easy. Bennington’s gift wouldn’t exactly help him in a battle. He can sense people’s gifts, but he has to be extremely up close to do it.”

“I hope he gets up close to me. Decapitating him would be the highlight of my year.”

“Be careful, I might beat you to it.”

“Bennington’s mine,” he insisted with a smile.

I gave him a ‘whatever’ shrug and then slung the photograph to examine the next. Whoa, they were the bushiest eyebrows I’d ever seen – they joined in the middle, making the bloke look like he had a caterpillar hanging above his round dark eyes. His coppery hair was quite tousled, sticking out here and there and tickling his long ears.

“That’s Winston Jones, but he changes his name near enough every time the wind changes course. He’s High Master over Australia, New Zealand, and Indonesia and all the little surrounding islands. Older than Antonio by a couple of decades. He’s known mostly for having the largest harem.”

“Go on, how many consorts?”

“Over eighty.”

I grimaced. “That’s bad, worse than man-boobs.”

Jared laughed. “Don’t talk about tits. I’m having a hard time ignoring yours.”

“That’s because you’re perverted.”

“No, it’s because I want you, and you’re making it really hard to resist you when you come here dressed like that.”

“Er, excuse me, I did
not
turn up here like this for your benefit. I was at a restaurant, and you snatched me from it, remember. Now let’s get back to this file. So, what’s this bloke’s gift?”

“Nothing uncommon. Winston can levitate, but he can levitate quite high.”

“What side do you think he’ll align himself with?”

“It’s hard to say. Winston’s weird like that. One minute he’s laughing and joking with you but then the slightest thing changes his mood.”

“Typical Pagori,” I muttered.

Jared frowned at the jibe but then his smile quickly returned. “Winston’s quite impulsive. I think his decision will just depend on how he’s feeling at the exact moment that he realises he has to choose a side or back out.”

The next photograph was of a Keja vampire of Japanese origin. He was neither smiling nor frowning; his expression and posture was very relaxed and reserved, and I imagined him to be a very cool, collected person. In this respect, he made me think of Antonio.

“He calls himself Bran,” said Jared. “He’s a Keja. He’s always been a close friend of Antonio’s, they have the same Sire. There’s no doubt where his allegiance will lie.”

“Good.”  

“He’s High Master over Japan, China, and Africa among other places. Quiet and respectful. He makes me think of a librarian. Doesn’t like Connelly much, I think that’s because Connelly talks so much.”

“And what’s in his bag of tricks?”

“He’s an Ecological Empath; he has a psychic sensitivity to his surrounding environment.” His bad-boy smile was suddenly back. “Want to have a rummage in my bag of tricks? You never know what might pop up.”


Jared
,” I growled in warning, but it didn’t have much humph behind it seen as I was giggling at the same time.

Wearing a crooked, sexy grin, he said, “Joke.” But his tone and the intensity of his gaze completely contradicted that. I swallowed. The horniness continues...

The next vampire looked a lot like Butch with his neat hairdo and the devilish tint to his eyes. Unlike Butch he seemed to like facial piercings; his nose, eyebrows, lips and ears all either had hoops or studs decorating them. His smile revealed a couple of gold teeth. He didn’t photograph very well. I have to say, though I’m not very photogenic myself. In human years, he was probably the oldest of all the High Masters.  

“Ricardo Maxwell.”

“You don’t like him,” I detected.

Jared shrugged. “He thinks he’s a hard-case but really it’s all a big act. I can’t stand people like that. He’s High Master over the US and Mexico. He’ll, without a doubt, support Antonio. He likes to think of himself as good friends with Antonio, he’s a real bad kiss-ass.”

“As long as he fights with Antonio I don’t care if he goes as far as to lodge himself permanently up Antonio’s arse. Gift?”

“Shape-shifting. And it’s not restricted; he can shift into whatever living thing he touches.”

“Maybe Ricardo isn’t so bad after all.”

“I’m sorry to destroy your fantasy but you’re not his type. He’s a fan of plump, curvy females with big butts. You’ll see what I mean when you get a glimpse of his consort.”

“So, basically, his taste is the opposite of yours.” Before he could make an impish comment I quickly asked, “So at some point you’ll speak to every vampire in this file.”

He nodded. “That’s right. They’ll come over, ask how Antonio’s doing and to pass on their regards, that kind of thing. It’s just exchanging pleasantries to show respect for Antonio.”

“Right.”

On the last photograph a very grim looking vampire was staring back at me. He made me think of an army sergeant or something. His face and neck were covered in scars and tattoos and had a beard of stubble, giving him quite a rugged appearance. He didn’t look in the least bit welcoming.

“Kaiser Something-Or-Other. I can’t pronounce his surname. He’s German and a Pagori. High Master over Germany, Russia, Sweden, Finland and other places round those parts. I’m 100% confident that he’ll be the first to offer to join Antonio. He might be miserable and mind-numbingly boring but he’s loyal to Antonio. He’s visited The Hollow a few times.”

“His gift?”

“He can petrify any plant, animal or even human – totally turning them to stone.”

“Well he’s just gone up in my estimations.”

“He’ll probably be very pleased with you. Likes the slender but shapely type. Not approving of Joy.”

I couldn’t help smiling at that. “Well that’s because a lot of blokes like to be able to
hold
what they can see.”

His expression became all bad-boyish and spoke of utter mischief. “I’d certainly like to hold what I can see right now.” He brushed my hair over my shoulder and leant over to my ear. “Sam,” he breathed. “You know you want this.”

I rose and took a step to the side so that I was standing in front of the neighbouring seat, taunting him more than anything else. He left his chair and advanced toward me, perching one butt cheek on the table.

Grinning, he held up his index finger. “Now that is something you can’t do tomorrow night. You’ll be posing as my consort; no one will believe that if you’re shifting away from me. Speaking of, you know consort decorum, right?”

I groaned and rolled my eyes. “I was Victor’s for three years, what do you think?”

“I know, but that was when you were travelling in lower class circles. This gathering will be full of the big boys, there’s a certain standard they expect. Number one: you cannot leave my side without asking permission. Where I go, you follow. Number two: you don’t speak to anyone unless they speak to you first. They’ll speak about
you to me, that’s different. Unless they address you, you keep zipped. Number three: you don’t argue with anything at all that I say. I know that goes against your very nature, but you have to be a good girl.”

I groaned. “All that is going to kill me.”

“I should warn you and your feisty little self now that you should expect them to speak about
you. You’re a Sventé vampire. Me bringing a Sventé as my consort is like the president taking his servant to a royal gathering.”

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