Here to Stay (47 page)

“So have I passed your test?”

He chuckled and bent to nip lightly at her chin. “It wasn’t really a test, but yes, if you feel that way about me, I’ll accept that as love with a capital L.”

Mandy’s body went limp. She’d been so afraid he might leave her, and right then, she felt as if she might fall apart if he did.

“Last chance,” he whispered. “We don’t have to do this. With you, my willpower sucks, but I’m pretty sure I can just hold you until you fall asleep.”

Mandy wanted more than that. She wanted to melt and be absorbed through the pores of his skin. She wanted—no,
needed
—to feel him all around her and all through her. Just being near him made her body ache and feel hot inside. She sensed that he had the power to make her forget the sight of her mother’s corroded ring and finger bone lying in the dirt. But it was more than that. She wanted him because he was Zach, and somehow he’d sneaked past her defenses to become the center of her world.

Of course, she wouldn’t tell him that. She wasn’t going to marry him—or anyone. Ever. But she had to have tonight with him.

“I want to be with you,” she whispered. “Tonight, I
need
to be with you. Just having your arms around me won’t be enough, Zach. I want you.”

His body tightened, and he yanked in a ragged breath. “God, don’t say things like that unless you’re sure. Do you have any idea in hell what you’re getting yourself into?”

Mandy’s throat had gone so tight she could barely speak. For the first time, she was experiencing the power of being female, and the feeling made her dizzy. She brushed a fingertip over his lower lip and felt him shudder. Oh, she loved being able to make him feel like this. She arched her back and gloried in the smothered groan he couldn’t suppress.

“Zach, I’m a big girl, remember? I know about the birds and the bees, and I’ve watched a lot of movies and done a lot of reading.”

A twinkle of amusement warmed his eyes. “Mandy, love, I don’t think your vicarious experiences have prepared you for my version of lovemaking. How about this? I’ll aim for middle-of-the-road. If I do anything you don’t like, say so and I’ll stop. Deal?” He braced his weight on his left arm to shift and lie beside her. “Let’s establish a signal, all right? If I go over the line, just tap me on the shoulder.”

That sounded easy enough. Mandy nodded. She expected him to get right down to business, but instead he lifted her hand and pressed light, whispery kisses to her palm before suckling each of her fingertips. The soft, silken pull of his mouth felt incredible. Then he nibbled at the sensitive inside of her wrist. By the time he reached the bend of her arm, Mandy’s heart was skittering, her breasts ached, and a molten, shivery sensation had taken up residence at the apex of her thighs. It radiated outward, sending urgent messages all through her.

Zach
. He tasted her skin like a man savoring a rare delicacy, titillating her senses, making her head swim, and filling her with needs she’d never dreamed of, let alone felt. She expected to feel embarrassed when he tugged her nightshirt off over her head, but by then she was too far gone to care and only went after the buttons of his shirt so she could see that muscular chest and striated abdomen again.

She’d just pushed the shirt down off his shoulders when his mouth laid claim to her left nipple. Mandy gasped at the jolt of sensation. Sensory overload. Alarms went off in her brain. What was that “stop” signal? She couldn’t remember. And before she could think of it, she decided she didn’t care. She couldn’t bear it if he stopped.

In the end, she just arched her spine to accommodate him. He responded to the silent request with hard pulls and light tugs of his teeth, filling her with such longing she felt completely disoriented and could only cling tight. When he slipped his hand inside her sweatpants and found the wet center of her, she parted her knees and lifted her hips. He stroked her lightly, tenderly, until her flesh throbbed with the need for more. He seemed to know when she was ready, increasing the pressure of his fingers a little at a time until she felt her nerve endings bunch, her arousal so compelling that it was almost frightening. Was this supposed to be happening? She felt like she was going to explode. She opened her lips to ask him, only nothing came out but a tiny moan.

He seemed to understand her wordless cry, because he buried his face in the lee of her neck and whispered to her, his voice so close to her ear that its husky timbre seemed to roll clear through her. “Just let go, Mandy. Trust me and just let go.”

So it was okay. He knew. She shuddered as the pressure within her mounted, pushing her higher and higher, until finally her body convulsed with shivers of pleasure that eclipsed her vision with spirals of color and left her muscles quivering. Cries she vaguely associated with herself beat in her ears, but the only solid reality was the hard, secure grip of Zach’s arms. The loss of control might have alarmed her, but he was there, kissing her throat, whispering reassurances, the heat of him cocooning around her. He held her until the spasms subsided and she could breathe normally again.

He rose to his knees, stripping his shirt the rest of the way off and casting it aside, then unfastening his jeans. In the glow of the lamplight, his rippling flesh looked like seasoned oak rubbed to a high sheen. After some shifting and tugging, his jeans and briefs were discarded. He slicked a condom onto his erect manhood with an ease born of long practice. Bracing his weight on his well-muscled arms, he moved over her, his gaze locked on hers.

“This first time may hurt,” he whispered. “I’m not sure how much.”

Mandy realized he was reluctant to cause her pain, and that touched her as nothing else could. Pleasure. He’d given her so much. Now it was her turn. What did a little pain matter? In the past, she’d been kicked in the ribs repeatedly and survived. She smiled at him in invitation and saw his eyes darken with passion. He rubbed himself back and forth in her slick, wet cleavage of flesh for a moment, and then she felt the tip of his shaft nudge into her. He hesitated, and she tugged at his shoulders, urging him forward. She bit down on her lower lip at the sharp stab of discomfort, but he had prepared her well, her passage slick to ease his way, and with one smooth thrust, he was deep within her. He went still.

“Do it,” she whispered urgently. “Do it, Zach. I want you. I need you. Please.”

He groaned and began to move. With each thrust, Mandy felt an explosion of tingling delight deep within her. She caught and matched his rhythm, tightening herself around him until he cried out and lifted her hips toward him. He drove her on until together they climaxed. He bucked and stiffened in her arms, his face contorted as she gasped his name and dug her fingers into him.

Incredible. It was the most incredible experience of her life and he’d given it to her.

Afterward they rested, arms wrapped around each other, her pelvis riding his hips. Mandy drifted in a cloud of contentment, feeling safe, happy, and utterly satiated. As long as Zach remained beside her, she didn’t care if she ever moved again.

“Hey,” he murmured. “How about taking a shower with me?”

Mandy smiled sleepily, her lips curving against his neck. “Do we have to? I’m happy right here.”

He trailed kisses along her eyebrows. His voice, louder this time, was husky and thick. “You’ll be even happier in the shower with me,” he promised.

“Not possible.”

A hint of laughter edged his reply. “Oh, yes, it is. Come on.”

She crawled off the bed and grabbed her nightshirt, holding it to her breasts. Narrowing an eye at her, Zach bent to get something out of a pocket of his Wranglers. He seemed to feel absolutely at ease with his nudity, and Mandy could understand why. His body was so sculpted and perfect it could have been a work of art.

“Drop the shirt,” he told her. “Covering that body with anything should be a criminal offense. Besides, I’ve already seen everything.”

Mandy didn’t think her body was all that great, but if the gleam in his dark eyes was any indication, he seemed to think differently. Reluctantly, she tossed the nightshirt on the foot of the bed. “I have small breasts.”

His gaze dropped. “You have beautiful breasts.”

“And my thighs are fat.”

He grinned, his teeth flashing white in the lamplight. “I’m a leg man. Trust me when I say your thighs are gorgeous.” He came around the foot of the bed and grabbed her hand. “Come on. It’s time you experienced a shower Zach Harrigan style.”

Within three minutes, Mandy’s body was slick with soap and water, and Zach’s hands were coursing all over her, teasing, caressing, and possessing her in a way that made her head spin. So much to learn, so much she didn’t know. She’d never dreamed he could use his fingers to bring her to another climax while the hot, soothing water beat down over them. Her knees jellied, and his powerful arms locked her tight against his hard torso. He held her erect until the last quake subsided and then eased her onto a built-in slate bench while he put on some protection. Then he gathered her into his arms, lifted her against the shower wall, drew her legs around his hips, and thrust deep inside her. The shock and pleasure were so great she gasped, arched her back, and whacked her head against the wall. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but the sensations. With each push, he sent a thrill of feeling spiraling through her. She cried out, unable to believe this time with him was even more wonderful than the last. She rode the waves, so lost in the electrical swirl of delight that the only word she could remember was his name.
Zach
. Over and over, that word trailed from her lips, sometimes a whisper, other times a high, keening wail of need.

Before he satisfied himself, he made her climax again and again, taking her to heights she’d never dreamed existed. Dimly she felt him stiffen. The hot surge of his release ignited her at the center and pushed her toward another crest. They tumbled over the edge together. Mandy felt as if she were free-falling without a parachute, but with Zach’s arms around her, she didn’t care. He’d catch her. He always would.

He supported her against the wall with the press of his hips until their breathing returned to normal. Then he gently bathed her, his big hands moving tenderly over intimate places that were now sore. He wrapped her in a bath sheet and carried her back to bed. Mandy wanted to protest that her hair was wet and would soak the pillow, but she was so limp with exhaustion she couldn’t speak. Instead she just closed her eyes, wishing for his arms to be around her again.

He left her there. She heard the shower come on again. A weary smile curved her lips. As soon as he got cleaned up and dried off, he would return to her. She’d be okay without him for only a few minutes.

Zach adjusted the water temperature and stepped over to the wastebasket to tug the condom from his still-erect member. What he saw made him freeze and sent his heart into overdrive. The prophylactic was torn clear to the rim.

He groaned and planted a hand against the wall. Several expletives exploded inside his mind. He gave voice to none of them, afraid Mandy might hear him cursing.
Oh, God
. He’d spilled his seed directly into her. He remembered how fabulous her slick heat had felt around him, and now he knew why. He’d been making love to her with no protection, and he’d been too caught up in the incredible sensations to stop, to check, to think at all.

A dizzying rush of panic sent a chill down his spine. What the hell would he tell Mandy?
Sorry, sweetheart
.
I may have just knocked you up
. She grew frantic at the very thought of marriage. To her, it was tantamount to a lifetime sentence in the downtown business section of hell. She’d made it clear from the start that their relationship had to be a no-strings deal. She was already financially strapped, trying to support herself and Luke. A baby would be an additional expense she couldn’t afford. And he wasn’t at all sure she’d allow him to help ... or even be involved. Oh, he’d screwed up royally this time.
Great job, Harrigan
.

Zach pulled off the condom and let it fall into the receptacle. He stared at it with loathing. If he’d made her pregnant, he’d step up to the plate; no worries on that count. And if he were totally honest with himself, he had to admit that having a baby with her would make him the happiest man alive. What worried him was what Mandy might think when he told her. Would she see it as a trap and freak out, thinking that he was trying to trick her into marrying him? Probably. She was already plenty wary of men.

Zach didn’t know what to do. As he stepped into the shower, he seriously considered just buying a new case of condoms and praying she wasn’t pregnant. That way, he’d never have to tell her this had happened.
Not
. His father had raised him better than that. Not telling Mandy would be the coward’s way out, and dishonest, to boot.

Mandy felt a tug on the towel that Zach had wrapped around her. She blinked awake to see him leaning over her. She rolled off the damp terry without opening her eyes again and reached for him. He wrapped his arms around her. She sighed and snuggled close, loving his hard strength and wishing the night would never end. She was tired, but she felt more secure and at peace than ever before.