Read Here's Looking at You Online
Authors: Mhairi McFarlane
‘And say what?’
‘Anything that will get him to reveal his location.’
Eventually, after a long pause, James said, in a clipped voice: ‘OK, I’ll call you back.’
Her phone buzzed seconds later.
‘Sorry, Anna, his phone’s turned off.’
‘Oh no. This is such a mess …’ Anna couldn’t speak for a moment, trying to quell the lava-bubble of frustration in her gut.
‘Does Aggy know you’ve … er. Been out with Laurence too?’
‘I didn’t mention it. Which is why this is my fault. If I was a normal, relaxed sister who shared things, I’d have told her that Laurence was a cad.’
Anna could sense James’s desire to finish this phone call but her need to confide in someone overtook her.
‘I know what happens next. Aggy gets howling drunk, falls into bed with Laurence and ruins any chance of a reconciliation with Chris. Worst-case scenario, she even convinces herself that Laurence is a sensible person to date, before he drops her from a height in however many weeks’ time.’
‘You really think she’ll do that? She’s still engaged isn’t she?’
‘Technically, she’s thrown the ring at Chris and called it off.’
‘Look, I’ll try Loz again, they’re probably on the Underground.’
‘James,’ Anna said, pinching the bridge of her nose. ‘They’re not on the Tube. They’ve both turned their phones off so none of us can reach them while they can get on with their night out.’
Pause.
‘Yeah. Does fit Laurence’s MO.’
‘God, I could kick myself.’
‘This is up to Aggy and not you, though. If your sister doesn’t want to get married you can’t make her.’
‘She really does want to get married though. This is all she’s talked about for months.’
‘But you fear she’s going to spontaneously bonk Loz on her first night of freedom? Strong statement.’
‘Right now she’s angry and she hasn’t thought it through. All this emotion will get fruity alcohol poured on top of it and she won’t think straight. And then Laurence will pounce.’
Pause.
‘OK, forgive me for saying this, but plan B. If she does have a lapse of judgement with Loz, does anyone else ever need to know?’
‘My sister is a terrible liar. I mean, why not get the Visa bills sent to work? This’ll come out too, sooner or later, especially when Chris works out that none of her friends and family know where she is tonight.’
Anna stared at a mildewed milk bottle of water next to Boris the yucca plant. ‘It’s like I left a gun lying around, with the safety catch off.’
‘Woah there, you can’t control all human interaction you know. You don’t usually need to warn engaged people about the snakes in the grass. And even when you do, people make their own choices. As you know.’
‘Nothing stops me from feeling responsible for having introduced them, I’m afraid. Well, I guess I have a fun and pointless evening of trawling Aggy’s favourite haunts ahead of me, then.’
They ended the call, politely and yet stiffly. James sounded distracted, to Anna’s ears. As if his mind was whirring. No doubt wondering how these chaotic, vulgar Mediterraneans ever came to be mixed up in his gleaming world.
It was an infuriating fact of life that having large things to worry about didn’t manage to cancel out lesser concerns.
Her sister’s loss of a wonderful fiancé, and the addition of a credit card millstone, were the biggies. The thought of Laurence chalking up her little sister as a notch on his bed post was abhorrent.
So right now, why did Anna care what James Fraser thought of her? And why did she wish so desperately that she hadn’t had to lose face and ask for his help? It wasn’t as if it had made any difference.
James was well enough acquainted with Laurence’s tomcatting procedure that he had a shortlist of a half dozen locations where he might be.
Finding them was only job one, however. He didn’t have much of a plan if he did discover them. The natives might be hostile. Well, Laurence would definitely be hostile, to a greater or lesser extent. Aggy, he couldn’t tell.
Why was he doing this? He had no easy answer.
Three bars down in the hunt and he started to feel faintly absurd. Laurence was the lanky needle in London’s haystack. By the time James was scanning the low-lit occupants of the rust-coloured velvet sofas at The Zetter, his fatalism had all but told him it was futile.
Somewhere in the vastness of the night-time city beyond these handsome windows, Laurence was sitting in some other anonymous bar, arm draped round Aggy’s seat. Telling her the anecdote about the identical sisters in Courcheval that James was certain wasn’t true. There was no such thing as twin telepathy.
He’d become so sure his mission was a lost cause, James was startled when he suddenly spotted an exuberantly drunk Aggy. She was sprawled on a brocade armchair, dress ridden up so far you could see the gusset of her tights. She was alone, yet a drink on the other side of the table said that this wasn’t for long.
James squared his shoulders and headed into battle.
Aggy sat bolt upright at the sight of him.
‘James! What are you doing here? This is ’mazin’!’
Thank goodness, she was alright with him at least.
James grinned at her. Aggy’s glassy, starry eyes and her enthusiastic patting of the space next to her told James she was utterly trollied.
‘I’ve gotta bone to pick with you,’ Aggy slurred. ‘You called my sister a freak.’
James cringed. That’s why he was here. He had arrears to pay off with Anna.
‘I should never have said that,’ he said. He looked at Aggy’s dark curls and eyes and felt a pang at her resemblance. ‘I apologise.’
‘You should ’pologise to
her
,’ Aggy harrumphed. She pushed her hair out of the way and, lifting her glass to her lips, let go of a small burp. ‘For school too.’
‘I don’t think she wants to see me ever again,’ James said.
‘No, she doesn’t,’ Aggy agreed. ‘She said she wished she’d never met you.’
James nodded, and swallowed hard.
‘It was worse, you know,’ Aggy said, sounding suddenly lucid.
James’s head jerked up. ‘What?’
‘It was worse for her than you think.’
Aggy held his gaze and James had that spooky sense of a metaphorical shape moving in the shadows. There was something he knew he didn’t know, but he couldn’t work out what it might be.
At the back of the bar, Laurence appeared. His expression darkened as he saw James and came to various conclusions.
‘James is here! What a co … corin … coinci-dunce,’ Aggy said.
‘Calculate the odds,’ James said to Laurence. ‘I think it was, ooh, one in eight?’
Laurence’s eyes were no more than slits.
‘Loz has got me the best cocktail, try, try!’ Aggy handed James the heavy-bottomed glass tumbler. ‘It’s called The Flintlock. It’s got Ferret Banker in it.’
‘Fernet Branca,’ Laurence muttered.
‘The Flintlock, eh? Should be The Headlock,’ he said to Laurence, whose frown deepened still further. He sipped. ‘Mmm. Nice. Can’t beat a bit of Ferret Banker.’
He glanced at Laurence.
‘Anna says you and Chris had a fight?’ James said to Aggy, setting the glass back down.
‘Yeah,’ Aggy’s brow furrowed, and she pulled the dress over her thighs. ‘Wedding’s off. He’s bin a wanker ’bout it.’
‘You haven’t been answering your phone?’
‘Laurence said to turn it off,’ Aggy said.
‘I thought Loz might be your PR and comms man,’ James said, smiling at a feral-looking Laurence. ‘Anna’s trying to get hold of you.’
‘You talked to Anna? Is she with Chris?’ Aggy said, trying to concentrate.
‘No, or at least, she wasn’t. How about you turn your phone on and let her know you’re OK?’
‘She’ll only tell me off about spendin’ all the money. She’s mad at me, like they all are.’
‘She isn’t. I know that for sure. She only wants to know you’re OK. Can I tell her you’re here?’
‘Nooooo!’ Aggy’s boozed eyes widened and she pointed a finger. ‘Do
not
do that.’
James put both palms up in supplication. ‘OK, OK.’
‘I’ve got to go to the ladies,’ Aggy said. ‘Don’t go anywhere,’ she pointed at James, with the vehemence of a drunk person. ‘Promise you’ll stay.’
‘I promise on Laurence’s life, I’m not going anywhere,’ James said, making a cross on his chest with a finger.
She backed away, tripping over a low footstool.
When Aggy was safely out of earshot, James turned to Laurence.
‘She’s engaged, Loz.’
‘And? I didn’t force her here.’
‘They’ve had a fight and she’s very drunk. But she’s still engaged.’
‘Her engagement is not my responsibility. Not my circus, not my monkeys.’
‘Not your fiancée. So I’m going to take Aggy home.’
‘She’s a grown woman. Who are you to tell her what to do?’
‘I’m not going to tell her what to do. I’ll point out that going home might be a good idea and I’ll offer to take her. If she’s determined to sleep with you and insists on staying, then fine. Something tells me she’s not as clear on the end game here as you are though.’
‘Such chivalry. And you’re doing this for nothing are you? Not looking for a gold star from her sister?’
‘Nope,’ James took another swig of Aggy’s cocktail and winced as it hit the back of his throat.
‘Yeah right. A self-interested, white knighting cockblock. Some best friend you turned out to be.’
‘Oh right, we’re pulling the mates card are we? Right then, I’m asking you to leave Aggy alone as a favour to me. Or does this …’ – James gestured between the two of them – ‘count for nothing when a woman’s involved? Every man for himself?’
‘You tell me.’
‘What?’
‘Why did Anna hate me so much?’
‘Er … wasn’t it because of everything you said and did?’
‘She hated me because you positioned yourself as Mr Nicest Guy in the Room, and dripped poison in her ear about me being Mr Nasty.’
‘You’re going to bed her drunk sister, and you think someone else cast you as Mr Nasty?’
‘Trouble with you is, you’ve convinced yourself that your act isn’t an act. Classic case of reading your own press and it going to your head. We’re no different.’
James laughed in disbelief. Laurence’s self-justification was like a maze. He’d designed it and closed off all the exits: once inside his logic, you couldn’t escape.
As James stared at Laurence, full of sullen antagonism, he knew that his disappointment in Laurence was vastly outweighed by disappointment in himself. What was lowering was not who Laurence was, it was who he wasn’t. There was so little here, beyond cheap quips and low cunning.
And James had made him his best friend? What did that say about him? He thought Laurence suited his pragmatic cynicism; his ‘no bullshit’ sense of humour. Now he realised that in fact, Laurence appealed to all his worst traits. Judging, mocking, disdaining. Never caring.
James had spent his whole life thinking he was better than other people. And what had he achieved? A wife who didn’t love him, a best friend who didn’t like him and a cat that didn’t know how to crap outdoors.
Maybe it was too late to put a lot right, but he could at least try to put this right.
‘Do you want me to call Anna and make a scene? Or can we conduct this respectably and I’ll take Aggy home?’
Laurence gave him a lopsided, lupine smile.
‘I’m not going anywhere. Good luck with your powers of persuasion, Derren Brown.’
James debated what to do. He had a feeling that some subtlety was called for. He could call Anna and then stage a sit-in – refusing to leave until she’d arrived. But given Aggy was in a volatile mood, being babysat, and then the sudden appearance of her overwrought sibling ordering her to leave, might piss her off and completely backfire. Perhaps the softly-softly approach was safer.
Aggy reappeared and flopped onto the sofa. ‘Cor I haven’t eaten all day. Reckon they’d do bar snacks?’
‘Great idea, want to get some food with me?’ James asked.
‘Or what about another drink?’ Laurence added.
‘Oh,’ Aggy looked at the centimetre of liquid left in her glass, and from James to Laurence and back again. ‘Yeah. I was going to try a Rose Petal thingy actually.’
‘Marvellous idea,’ Laurence said, clicking his fingers at the barman.
James turned to Aggy. He gambled on a hunch that Aggy truly didn’t know who she was dealing with here.
‘Laurence has booked a suite. When you’re sufficiently legless, he will help you upstairs, invite you to use the minibar, then help you out of your clothes. If you want to do that, go ahead. But just as long as you know.’
‘Remind us, are you her AA sponsor or her father?’ Laurence said.
‘Seriously?’ Aggy said, looking at Laurence. ‘You have a room?’
Laurence barely blinked.
‘No,’ he said, after a second’s pause. ‘Why, do you want one?’
Aggy giggled. James sensed the argument slipping away from him.
The barman arrived and Laurence ordered two cocktails and nothing for James. Inspiration struck.
‘Could you put that on Laurence O’Grady’s room tab, please?’ James said.
‘Certainly sir.’
He retreated with a nod.
‘Whaddyaknow!’ James said.
‘He doesn’t know if I have one. He’s not going to query it to our faces, is he?’
‘I guess we’ll know when he comes back then?’ James said. ‘No bill, means Laurence is a big old fibber.’
‘Sod off, will you?’ Laurence spat. ‘You’re not wanted here.’
‘Yeah he is!’ Aggy said. ‘Why would we not want him?’
Laurence glowered. He’d let his irritation at James win out. Aggy looked at Laurence in consternation. James hoped that Laurence’s flash of temper had penetrated the fog of Ferret Banker.
‘So what if I do have a room, anyway?’ Laurence added.
‘You
did
book a room?’ Aggy said, tugging her dress down over her thighs and looking less certain.
‘I don’t. I’m saying, so what if I had? We’re all adults.’
‘You thought I was going to go to bed with you, just like that?’ Aggy said.
‘No!’ Laurence rattled the ice in his glass. ‘Don’t listen to this one. He’s playing the Good Samaritan to get into your sister’s kecks.’