Heroes (Hollywood Heartthrobs #1) (15 page)

          “Nate, thank
you, but it’s not that simple. Things with Jane are… complicated.”

          Nate
considered his brother for a minute. “Dean, what aren’t you telling me?”

          “Jane, from
the accident, my Jane, is a Jane Doe.”

          “What do you
mean?”

          “I mean,
she’s a Jane Doe. She came into the hospital unconscious and with no ID and no
one knows who she is.” Dean was looking at the floor. “Even she doesn’t know.”

          “Are you
trying to tell me the girl from the accident, the girl who probably saved
Alec’s life, has
amnesia
?” Nate looked completely incredulous, but a
single glance from his brother wiped the expression away. Nate let out a slow
whistle. “Okay, Dean, we’d better take this from the top.” He looked intently
at Dean. “I’m your brother, and Alec is my son, so I’m a part of this too. Now
tell me everything.”

          It took only
a few minutes, but afterwards Dean felt like he’d talked for hours. Nate
brought them both sizable glasses of whiskey while Dean told the whole story,
from the bus stop on Monday to today in Shiloh’s condo. Nate listened patiently
until Dean talked himself out.

          “So, she has
no idea how she ended up in front of that truck.”

          “None. All
she knows is that I pulled her back.”

          “Why haven’t
you told her the truth?”

          Dean took a
drink before he answered. “The same reason Samantha doesn’t know why you messed
up her birthday dinner the year Alec was born.”

          “Fair point.”
Nate finished his glass. “Have you thought about what happens if she gets her
memory back? She might remember Alec.”

          “Hell, it’s
part of the reason I want to bring her here, so she’ll see Alec and maybe
something will snap. I can’t stand the thought that I did this to her, that I
took everything from her this way. If she gets her memory back, she can curse
me a coward, it’ll be worth it to know she’ll be alright. What she thinks of me
then won’t matter.”

          “What she
thinks of you won’t matter? Why don’t I believe that?”

          Dean
shrugged.

          “I’ve known
you my whole life. This is not just about Alec, or her memories. This is about
you and this girl. The way you talk about her, the way you look after you see
her. Dean, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen you like this.”

          Dean looked
up with no fight in his eyes. “Do you really believe that when she finds out
all of this is my fault she’ll want anything to do with me? I may not have
pushed her, but I’m the reason she was in front of that truck. This is all on
me, Nate.”

          They were
both quiet for a moment. Finally, Nate answered. “I think you should ask me
that question again tomorrow night. After I’ve met her.”

          By morning
the glorious early spring had retreated, and Friday dawned cold and rainy.
Undeterred by the weather, Dean left just after Nate and made the increasingly
familiar drive into the city to see Jane. The weight of his guilt seemed to
lessen with every mile, as if just reducing the distance between them could
brighten his spirits. By the time he got to Shiloh’s building he was whistling,
and even had a cheerful greeting for the haughty doorman.

          Jane answered
the door in the borrowed pajamas she had slept in, but she had obviously been
up some time. Delicious baking smells wafted out into the hall as she let Dean
in. Her hair was endearingly mussed around her face.

          “Something
smells amazing in here,” Dean said by way of greeting.

          “Thanks.
Between the cold and the rain it seemed like a baking and pajamas sort of
morning. I figured you’ve seen me in hospital scrubs all week, no point fussing
about it now.” She winked at him.

“It’s
a good look on you.”

“Blueberry
scones in about ten minutes.”

          “You made
scones?” Dean asked.

          Jane
shrugged. “Well, there was a box of blueberry muffin mix in the stuff you
bought yesterday, but I couldn’t find a muffin pan, so I just reduced the
amount of milk I added. That thickened up the dough enough to mold into roughly
scone-shaped creations. We’ll see how they turn out. Coffee?”

          “I’d love
some,” Dean said with a grin. As she opened the fridge for milk, Dean noticed
Tucker’s macaroni art affixed to the door. The sight made his heart swell. Jane
passed him a mug of coffee with that heart-breaking smile of hers. A man could
get used to this, he thought. “Since it’s not exactly walking around weather, I
thought maybe we’d try another tactic to jog your memory.”

          Jane looked
up excitedly. “And what’s that?”

          “Well, you
had such a response to noble King Henry I thought we’d try some other
Shakespeare classics.”

          “Further
experimentation, I like it. And what did you bring for show and tell?”

          Dean pulled
out
Much Ado About Nothing
. “I actually brought it yesterday, but after
everything that happened it never really came out.”

          “Am I going
to like it?”

          Dean smiled.
“I think so. This one’s a comedy, very romantic, total chick flick.” Dean put
on a fake macho expression. “Not really my thing, but I thought you might like
it so I suppose I can suffer through. Yaknow, for you.”

          “Uh-huh,
whatever you need to tell yourself.”

          After a
breakfast of improvised scones and coffee they settled down to watch the film.
Dean stretched out on the large sofa, Jane reclined comfortably next to him.
Jane was again the perfect audience. She laughed genuinely at the witty
repartee between the leads. Dean loved that sound. As the film progressed, they
each seemed to be moving slowly closer together. First Jane adjusted herself,
her thigh pressing gently against his. Somewhere later Dean’s arm ended up
around Jane’s shoulders. Then Jane rested her head against his chest. She could
hear his heartbeat through his soft flannel shirt.

          The rain,
drizzling when Dean had arrived, continued to build into a powerful
thunderstorm. More than once the scene was disturbed by the crash of thunder
outside. When the movie ended, neither of them moved. For a long moment they
sat, listening to the rain lashing the large windows. They were so close, so
comfortable next to each other neither wanted to break the spell. “I love it,”
Jane said suddenly, looking up at Dean with her green eyes and that smile that
never seemed to get less powerful.

          “What?” Dean
said, snapping out of the trance of being so close to her.

          Color snaked
up Jane’s neck and into her cheeks. “The movie, it’s sweet, it’s romantic, it’s
wonderfully funny. I feel like some of it was familiar, but I don’t think I
know it like I know the other one. Thank you so much for bringing it.”

          The movie,
right, thought Dean, hoping Jane couldn’t feel how much his pulse had quickened
when she spoke. “For a chick flick it’s not too bad I guess,” he replied
facetiously.

          “Not too bad?
Blasphemy! I will stop your mouth!” she cried, quoting from the final scene.
Summoning up her courage and closing her eyes, she reached up and kissed his
lips.

          It wasn’t
their first kiss, but for Dean it was like a dam breaking. Every feeling, every
urge he’d suppressed for days came rushing at him in her kiss. He wrapped both
arms around her, pulling her in, pulling her towards him, deepening the kiss.
He held her so tight he could feel the warmth of her body through their
clothes, feel her chest rise against his as she broke her lips from his and
took a rapid breath. He kissed a path down her cheek to her neck. She murmured
with pleasure, and the sound edged him on further. He let his hands rove over
her body, exploring her through the thin fabric. She slipped her hand under his
shirt, trailing her fingertips up along his spine. She nibbled at his ear as he
kissed down to the collar of her t-shirt. With just her right hand, she deftly
started to unbutton his shirt as his hands caressed her hips, gently edging her
on top of him. She could feel his hardness through his jeans.

          Dean suddenly
took her hand and held it away from his buttons. “Jane, wait,” he choked out breathlessly.
His hesitation terrified her. Had she been wrong? She needed him, he couldn’t
stop now!

          She took drew
her breath quickly and looked away from him. “I’m sorry, Dean. I didn’t mean
to…” She moved back along the couch. The air between them felt cold and empty.
“I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m so sorry.”

          “What? Jane,
no, no, it’s great, you’re amazing. It’s just…” Dean could barely speak, his
heart was hammering and his breath caught in his lungs. He squeezed her hand.
“Jane, are you sure you want this? Us… like this? You’re absolutely sure?”

          If she’d had
time she might have laughed. But she didn’t. “Dean, yes. Please. I… I want you,
all of you.”

          Dean had
thought he couldn’t be more turned on, he felt like marble, and every nerve was
on fire. But the sight of her, pulled back from him, looking at him with so
much passion, so much trust, so much vulnerability, he knew he had been wrong.
He wanted her like he’d never wanted anyone, anything in his life until that
moment.

          He sat up,
leaned in toward her, and whispered, “Me too.” He slid both arms under her
body, and before she could respond he lifted her up off the couch and carried
her in his arms through to the bedroom.

          He set her
down gently, moving carefully around her cast-enclosed left arm. He kissed her
neck, then pulled the t-shirt over her head. She wore a simple pale pink bra
underneath that showed off the shape of her breasts. He kissed her chest,
running his tongue gently along the edge of the fabric. He could hear her
breathing faster. She finished unbuttoning his shirt, laying bare the muscles
of his chest, then moving to the waistband of his jeans. She fumbled with her
hand on the single button, but Dean pulled her hand away. “Don’t… not yet. You
first,” he whispered into her ear. She obediently withdrew her hand, melting
under his touch.

          Dean let out
a breath as she took her hand away from his fly. He was already too close to
the edge. This was special. In a way, he thought, this was like a first time
for Jane, and he was going to give her the experience she deserved. A slow
burn. He gently eased down the waistband of her pants, leaning down to kiss her
belly. He trailed his hand gently along the skin of her thigh, stopping short
of the warmth between her legs. Take it slow, he told himself. He stopped to
savor the way she looked in her simple, no-nonsense bra and panties. Her body
was strong but yielding, supple and womanly. She was breathtaking.

          He snaked a
hand under her back, unhooking her bra. It fell away, revealing gorgeous full
breasts. Her nipples were taut with excitement. He nuzzled his face against her
chest, taking her right nipple into his mouth. She let out a small cry of
pleasure and wound her fingers into his hair. Teasing her with his tongue and
his teeth, he slid his right hand underneath the elastic of her panties. Her body
responded to him readily. She muttered his name as he probed gently with his
fingers, exploring the warm, moist hollow of her body. “Dean, oh Dean,” Jane
whispered. It was both a supplication and a command. Moving his lips to her
other breast, he increased the pressure of his fingers, slowly tracing a gentle
circle inside her. She was trembling with pleasure, arching her hips to offer
him more access, her breath coming in shallow pants. He moved his hand faster,
rougher. Timing her release instinctively, he suddenly pressed inside her and
bit down teasingly on her nipple. She cried out at the height of passion. He
could feel the spasm of ecstasy tremble through her. He met her eyes. They were
brimming with tears.

          “Good?” he
asked her grinning. She gave a small laugh in answer as she tried to catch her
breath. She nestled her head against his chest, her mind reeling from him. He
put his arms around her, holding her as she continued to feel the tremor
aftershocks of passion. The open front of his shirt fell around her like a
protective cloak. He took several calming breaths. He was still hard as stone,
but he’d wait for her to make the next move. It might kill him, but if she was
finished then so was he, the throbbing in his jeans be damned.

          Mercifully, she
wasn’t finished. After a moment to collect herself from the first shock of his
touch, she planted warm, wet kisses on his neck. She reached down to his jeans
and finally succeeded in unbuttoning them. She unzipped his fly and gently
touched his firmness. The feel of her fingers sent a shiver up his spine. “Take
these off, please,” she whispered playfully. Dean obliged, shimmying out of
both his jeans and his underwear, then throwing his shirt away for good
measure. The sight of his naked body took Jane’s breath away. She slid her own
panties down and off, completely ready for him. He laid himself down on top of
her, the pressure of his body warm, solid, and comforting, something she could
hold tight to. She could feel his erection hard against her hip. Reaching away
from her, Dean fumbled with the nightstand drawer for a second. Oh please oh
please oh please let there be a box of condoms in here, he prayed desperately.
Sure enough, his fingers found a small, open cardboard box with foil squares
inside. Thank God for Shiloh.

          Jane kissed
at his neck and shoulders as he slid the condom over his shaft. “Are you
ready?” he asked Jane, poised over her with a breathless smile. Rather than
answer, she reached for him and guided him inside her, crying out again softly
as the strength of him entered her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and
held on to him for dear life. Dean had to hold himself back, taking her in
slow, deep strokes. Don’t rush, he thought desperately, take it slow, make it
last. She writhed beneath him, urging him in with her hips and thighs. He let
the tension build, reveling in the thousand sensations of her until neither of
them seemed to have anything left to hold back. Dean had had great sex before,
but this was something new. It was as if she had been made to fit him exactly;
the way he fit inside her felt like coming home. They reached a shattering
crescendo together, holding tightly to each other as if to keep from falling
off the world.

          For a moment
afterwards they just breathed, each listening to the furious heartbeat of the
other. Dean disposed of the condom in a wastebasket near the bed but did not
get up. They lay together, wrapped in each other’s arms for a long moment
before speaking.

          “Dean, that
was… that was wonderful.” Jane finally said.

          “Not bad for
a first time?”

          Jane giggled.
“You were amazing. Is it always like that? I don’t really have a frame of
reference.”

          Dean smiled,
but his eyes were earnest. “Jane, it’s never been like that for me. I’ve had
good, but you… you are perfect.”

          She wanted to
tease him, call it a line. But somehow she couldn’t. Somewhere deep down in her
heart of hearts, she believed him. She nestled against his strong chest;
listening to his breathing and the rain outside. Dean had never felt more
contented. That kind of pleasure was exhausting, he felt utterly spent. His
breath gradually slowed; eventually she realized that he had dozed off next to
her.

They
were laying on top of the covers, but Jane scooted to the edge of the bed,
reaching for a throw blanket she knew was on the floor. She pulled it over the
both of them, adjusting herself next to Dean. Without waking, he placed his arm
around her. Lost in thought, she watched him sleep. He looked so peaceful, like
the first moment she’d seen him. But, that couldn’t be the first moment, she
thought. No, she didn’t remember the first moment they’d met. She still didn’t
understand it, how she had ended up in front of the truck, why Dean had gone so
far to save her, both in the moment and even now. But that was a thread she
didn’t need to pull. She still believed if she was patient, she would get her
memory back, probably including the accident. For now, this was what she had.
Dean was here, and he was hers. She had no idea what she’d lost in that accident,
but for now, lying next to a man she trusted, a man she loved, she felt
absolutely content.