Hers to Choose (Cannon Cousins) (16 page)

Whatever had taken over
his senses, he had to set it aside. He’d thought about it the whole time he was
gone, trying to figure out what it was about her, exactly, that caused him to
depart completely from every intention, every plan he made. Yes, she was the
most beautiful woman he had ever seen, an absolute perfection of coloring, form
and grace. From the little time he’d spent around her, he had already reached
the firm conclusion that she cared intensely about
others,
that
she wanted to provide comfort and pleasure. Something about that
penetrated deep inside his chest and wrung his heart into a knot.

That simply didn’t square
with her wanting to feel pain. But stubborn as his incomprehension remained,
his brief research had brought him slightly closer to understanding this thing
about submission and discipline and other elements of this hidden realm. If he
had the time to get to know her better, he would want to hear what she said
about it, how she came to know this about herself, what reason she gave for it.
If any.
Maybe it was as simple as someone waking up to
the certainty of being gay.

He had eased his mind
enough to be able to refocus on Dan. And personally, Alex couldn’t risk a repeat,
falling for Bryn and then watching Dan take her for himself. What he felt for
her already left his Cathleen crush in the dust, and anything he had felt for
any other woman since Cathleen. But this trip had to stay about Dan. More than
anything, he hoped he would find his brother-cousin well advanced toward a more
relaxed frame of mind, moving at light speed from what Cathleen had done to him
and toward a new start on life.

He pulled the truck to a
stop and smiled at the lantern glow shining through the cabin windows. A thrill
shuddered through him. This place, and the woman who lived here, surely
possessed some kind of magic. He had to find a way to get past the spell.

***

Alex hung in Bryn’s mind as she
hurried around the kitchen to finish preparing dinner. He made her feel so many
things. From the first, his tenderness and dedication to Dan had enchanted her.
She’d never met a man so generous, so sensitive to someone else’s need. It made
her want to love him with all her heart. His caring traveled past him and
somehow colored her response to Dan, so that even as Dan’s discipline filled
the inexplicable need inside her, she felt pleased that he found some kind of
balm in their interaction.

But this was truly the
most dangerous territory she had ever explored. Dan’s domination and the
discipline he exerted over her opened her emotionally. But instead of feeling
emotional about Dan, she felt emotional about Alex. That made no sense. Maybe
she would have felt that way about Alex no matter what. But this readiness to
give herself, these feelings that flew around inside her even in thinking about
Alex,
this was something she could drown in.

As if Ethan hadn’t been
enough of a hit on her ego, now she had put herself into a situation with a man
who could do the same thing.
Only worse, far worse.
At
least Ethan said he wanted her. Alex had said nothing. She chopped spinach
furiously and heaved handfuls into the skillet of butter and garlic, mindlessly
sautéing the wilting greens as she argued with herself.

Yes, Alex triggered
something inside her that she couldn’t deny, more than the allure of his
intense blue eyes and incredible male physique. Everything about him exuded
sensuality. And yet there were deeper layers, complexities of thoughtfulness
and real caring, so much that he had gone to incredible lengths to help his
cousin. But more than that, his eyes saw into her in a way that made her
nervous. She felt exposed, defenseless.

She caught a glimpse of
herself in the dark glass of the window behind the kitchen sink, her forehead
creased in worry. Alex made her worry, Dan made her not worry. She could count
on Dan to occupy her brain with nothing, an absolute blank where the only thing
that mattered were his demands over her body and her obedience. Alex threatened
her very existence with an anguish of feelings and need that went far into her
future. She shook her head.
No future with Alex, Bryn.
 

A pitcher of margaritas
waited on the counter. She salted glass rims and poured herself one. Beef
enchiladas bubbled in their sauce, fresh salsa brimmed in three small bowls.
Her decision to eat this meal with the men had seemed relatively innocuous
earlier in the day, a simple social act without any subtext. But now as the
time neared, jitters took over. She had no idea what frame of mind Dan might
have gained over the course of the day, but she seriously doubted he would
require further discipline. Whatever Alex might want was an impenetrable
mystery, hot one minute, cold the next.

Yeah, and this was going
to be a strictly business situation. How the hell did she end up this far
downstream from catching up on mortgage payments? She almost laughed out loud.
Sipping the pulpy margarita, she decided if they seemed uncomfortable when she
joined them, she could always bring her food to the little table in the kitchen
and eat by herself.

She heard truck doors
slam and then their boots on the porch. Forcing herself to be calm, she leaned
against the kitchen doorframe as they came inside. There it was again, the
intense look on Alex’s face as he saw her. And the immediate shift away.

“Dan tells me you
followed his orders,” Alex said, accepting the drink she offered.

She looked at Dan and
handed him a drink. “Yes,” she said, not able to read anything from his
carefully blank expression. “I tried.” Determined to remain aloof, she forged
ahead, setting out three dishes of salsa and bowls of chips. “How was fishing
today?”

They all took chairs at
the table as Dan related a brief summary of his efforts. He had walked
downstream in search of bigger holes, got bites from a few he threw back,
nothing worth bragging about. She noticed his forehead was sunburned. Something
about him had changed, about that she felt certain. She watched the men
interact, too soon finding the bottom of her glass.

“Anyone else need a
refill?” She stood up, a little giddy.

Both men handed her their
glasses. She left hers in the kitchen and slid Dan’s across the tablecloth
before handing Alex his. His fingers brushed hers and her nipples hardened instantly.
She hurried back to the kitchen to grab plates. They gave no hint of discomfort
about her taking a place among them. But in each trip back to the table with
silverware, the pan of enchiladas and all the rest, somehow Alex managed to
graze her hand or have his leg in a position where she brushed against it, so
by the time she finally pulled out her chair to sit down, her whole body
tingled.

Dinner took an
unexpectedly enjoyable tone with Alex’s comical recounting of workplace
employee drama that had required his presence. Someone dropped the ball in
preparing the staging of a new condo so that prospective buyers and agents had
cheese and crackers but no wine. Someone else had to leave their sales work to
rush out for wine. It wasn’t something Alex could undo forty-eight hours later,
but similar chaos hovered.

“Seems like the place
falls apart if one of us isn’t there,” Dan agreed. “I don’t know why we can’t
count on people to do their jobs.”

Alex leaned his forearms
on the edge of the table. “Shannon said it wasn’t on her list, and I never had
a copy of the list. But I don’t think she would lie.”

“Who made the lists?”

“
Martin,
and he swears it was on her list. But he couldn’t produce a copy and I didn’t
really care at that point. We went over everything step by step for tomorrow’s
event. If that gets screwed up, I’m thinking heads should roll.”

“Absolutely,” Dan agreed.
“This isn’t rocket science.”

“I think I already knew
,
if I might butt in here, but I assume you guys are in real
estate?”

The men looked at her.

“Sorry,” Alex laughed.
“We should have included you on what we’re talking about. Yes, we’re
developers, a company our parents started. Buy, build,
sell
.
These condos are a project I dreamed up for an old warehouse, the first two
units finished.”

“Alex is the dreamer,”
Dan commented, leveling his gray gaze on her. “I make it happen.”

“Oh, hell,” Alex
chuckled. “It’s not quite like that.” He sent a big smile across the table. “Dan
is the business man and number cruncher, sees to details, schedules, stuff like
that.”

“Yeah, the stuff that
makes it
happen
.” Dan grinned and raised his eyebrows.
“But of course, without the dream, business has nowhere to go.” He shrugged and
looked at her again. “We make a good team.”

“Well, thanks for filling
me in. I can see why you’d need to get into the woods for time away from it
all. It sounds like a lot of responsibility.” She smiled at their acceptance of
her to their world, allowing herself to relax as the talk drifted around the
table. Maybe the margaritas helped. And she thought the food tasted even better
than usual. Her face had flushed, part Alex part tequila, and stayed warm even
with dessert’s strawberry sorbet. Afterwards she lingered at the table as Dan
started gathering up his things from the couch area.

“I’m going after that
buck tomorrow morning early,” Alex said, “so just pack up some groceries for
us, and we’ll fix our breakfast down there.”

Dan stopped at the door
with his arms full. “Cocktails at five, though.
Right?”
His glance sent her a message. No more kink.

She smiled, relieved and
regretful.
“Cocktails at five.”

***

Alex watched the eggs sizzling in the
iron skillet and smiled to himself. He hadn’t felt this great in a long time,
maybe since high school and ski camp in the Rockies. Fire crackled in the cast
iron stove, sending its blistering heat into the room. A blue speckled enamel
coffee pot boiled noisily, sending blasts of increasingly brown coffee up into
the glass dome on the lid and its delicious aroma straight to his nose.
Underfoot, ash and wood chips gritted against the old cabin floor where his
bootlaces hung untied.

He bent his head
sideways, catching a whiff of his underarm. Jesus. Maybe it wasn’t a genius idea
to wear the same thermal underwear day after day of hiking around in the woods
and climbing rocky slopes. He grinned. The odor didn’t offend him, kind of a
musky scent that reminded him of mustardy cheeseburgers and walnut bark. This
was what he liked, actually, getting down to the basic elements of smell and
feel, fire and sky. Maybe he needed this trip as much as Dan.

“Oh, brother, do I smell
coffee, or what?” Dan sat up in his lower bunk, stretching.

“Yeah,
boiled coffee.
Should put some hair on both of us.”
Alex grabbed a cloth
and padded the coffee pot handle before dragging it off the stove to pour into
mugs.

“I want six eggs, if you
can handle it.” Dan shuffled across the floor in his sock feet.

“Hell, your arms aren’t
broken. Cook your own.”

Halfheartedly, Dan
slugged him in the shoulder before picking up the coffee. “Black as your
heart,” he observed, blowing on the dense brew.

Alex carried his plate to
the table and began devouring the over-easy eggs, along with the ready to heat
sausages and biscuits Bryn had sent down with them. “She’s spoiled us,” he
mumbled around a mouthful. “I’m never going to be satisfied with my own cooking
again.”

Dan shoved at the skillet
to turn his eggs, sloshing a bit of the grease out of the pan so it hit the hot
iron stove top with plumes of dark smoke. “Damn it. Yeah, I’m definitely
spoiled.” He hesitated, pushing hot frying grease around the edges of the
sizzling eggs. “I never imagined anything like this,
Alex,
I swear to God, that woman almost scares me.”

He carried his plate to
the table and took another big sip of the coffee. “Damn, you could stand a
knife in that coffee, Alex.” He made a face before continuing. “You know, I
finally went through everything in those bags of stuff, reading Wade’s notes
about how to use it, what to try.” He paused, glancing at Alex. “So while you
were gone, I decided to go for it. I’ve got her worked up, spanked her butt
red, and put in that two-prong thing—one part in her puss, the other in her
ass, flipped the little switch to activate the thing, and she went airborne.”

The food in Alex’s
stomach contracted. He felt like he was moving in slow motion as he picked up
the coffee. “Airborne?”

“Yeah, practically
dancing around, begging. She loved it.” Dan shook his head. “And that was the
first day. Second day…” He let his forearms rest on the table edge and leaned
forward in the chair.
“Second day, lots of stuff.”
He
exhaled. “I don’t know about you, but I never had a woman in the ass before.
Did you?”

Dan’s gaze settled on
Alex’s face, and there was nothing that Alex wanted more than to smile and say
something innocuous. Words escaped him. A thousand images raced through his
mind, none of them good. His temples pounded as he tried to form some kind of
reply. “No,” he finally managed.
“Haven’t.”