Hers to Choose (Cannon Cousins) (31 page)

“Got
the surveys.
I’ve
been looking at the options for property lines and house sites,” he said. “I’m
coming down there with the engineer in a few days, not sure when yet.”

He sounded tired and
distracted.

“Are you working too
hard, Alex?”

He paused. She could hear
him breathing.

“Probably.”

“You don’t have to rush
this, if you’ve got other things you need to do. You should give yourself a
break.”

Another
pause, longer.
“Is there a problem with me coming down there?”

“What?” She laughed. “No,
are you kidding? I can’t wait...” Shit, she bit her tongue. He didn’t need the
pressure of her crush on top of everything else. “I mean, I’d love to see
you...” Damn it. “Alex, you’re welcome any time.”

“Okay, good, I’ll let you
know as soon as I’ve got a set time.”

***

Alex arrived in tandem with a truck
carrying two other men. They sat in the driveway talking for a few minutes then
the truck went down toward the cabin. Alex parked and came into the house. Her
heart pounded at the sight of him.

His appearance shocked her.
Dark circles seemed permanently etched under his eyes and his gorgeous face had
taken a haunted look. Still, his mouth curved into that glorious smile and his
eyes shone at her as he stepped through the door.

“Alex,” she breathed,
“it’s so good to see you.”

“Indeed it is.” He
quickly surveyed her before dealing with his things all while he talked. “This
could take a few days. If it’s a problem for me to stay here, I don’t mind
staying at the cabin with Randall and Ted.”

“No! There’s no problem
with you staying here. You look like you need some taking care of.”

He frowned. “Do I look
that bad?”

“Oh, well, a little
worn—are you working too late?”

With a shrug, he threw
himself onto the couch. She sat across from him.

“Yeah,
probably.
Jobs
piled up during our hunting trip and for some reason I haven’t been able to get
in front of it.”

“Alex, there’s no rush on
this project down here, if you need to take the time to get other things
squared away. You know that, right?”

“Yes,
Bryn.”
He smiled.
“I know that. But this is what I want to do. I need this time here...” He
paused with a cautious glance toward her. “I mean, I enjoy this project. This
isn’t like working midtown in old brick buildings with asbestos issues or
collapsed sewer mains. This is fresh, raw—it’s like a,” his eyes took on an
intense blue as he looked at her, “like a marriage, the land and us, this place
and what I, we, can do here...” He shook his head and directed his gaze out the
window.
“Hard to explain.”

She had watched a wave of
emotion, or fatigue, or whatever it was, sweep over him while he talked. It
seemed like he was in a bad place. Maybe on top of everything else he had
relationship problems. Fury rushed up her throat at the idea of a woman
mistreating him. He wasn’t like Dan, thick and sturdy and able to battle his
way out of grief from a failed relationship. Her understanding of Alex, slim as
it was, showed her clearly that he was an artist, sensitive and passionate and
vulnerable in unexpected ways.

“Well, I hope you’ll tell
me everything little thing your heart desires so I can make it all better while
you’re here.”

He stared at her for a
moment like she had two heads then gave a half laugh. “I wish.”

“Seriously Alex, you know
I would do anything for you...” she finished weakly. Better not go too far down
that road, Bryn McClure. Next thing you know, you’ll be confessing your undying
love. “So tell me, shall I prepare meals for the three of you while you’re
here?”

His look questioned her.
“Is that too much to ask?”

“No, not at all, I kind
of anticipated it. Dan set me up with operating money. I can do what I did with
the surveyors—keep track of labor time and other costs. The days are a little
longer now—do you think six is a good time for dinner?”

“Look, dinner, yes, six
is good, and maybe pack us a bucket of sandwiches to take in the morning, but
those guys can manage breakfast on their own. I’m not piling all that on you.
Hopefully this won’t take but a few days, we’re only siting the septic system
plus two houses.
And the driveways.
Need to get the
basic dozer work done in one session.”

He rubbed his forehead
tiredly. His hands looked thinner. She didn’t know if she could bear this, she
realized, suddenly standing up and walking toward the kitchen. “Would you like
a drink?”

“Definitely.”

It occurred to her that
life had a way of slipping by and none of them were getting any younger. Alex
seemed to be growing old before her very eyes. Would she suddenly look up
someday and be alone at ninety?

She quickly brushed away
tears. It felt like her heart was being crushed inside her chest to think of
living her life without him, without seeing him every day and cooking him warm
meals and smoothing the worry lines on his forehead.

How completely insane had
she become?

“What do you want?” she
shouted around the corner.

“I could think of a few
things...”

She could hear him even
though he said it softly enough that she knew he didn’t expect her to. If she
had looked back into the living room, she thought she would have seen that familiar
smile again, a glimmer of his energy. Her guess was that whatever life routine
he had before had been ditched in favor of extra work hours. And who knew what
kind of demands he faced in his relationship. He struck her as the kind of guy
who could happily live long periods of time in a remote place like the cabin.
How often did he really get a break?

“Whiskey.”
His voice came from nearby.

“
Oh
!” she jumped.

He was standing at the kitchen
door, leaning his shoulder against the jamb and watching her intently. Her
hands shook as she opened the bottle of whiskey and splashed some into the
glass.

“Let me guess, Alexander
J. Cannon—what does the ‘J’ stand for anyway?—you’ve been staying at the desk
working your ass off and getting zero exercise.
Right?
I mean, a body like yours doesn’t happen by accident.” She clenched her teeth.
Did she really have to say that about his body? Her eyes rolled back briefly as
images of his nude body surged through her mind—Alex in the shower, Alex
holding her against the wall. Her breath came in short bursts as she came back
from the fridge and poured a little cold spring water into the whiskey. Her
hand continued to shake as she handed him the glass.

He had drifted slightly
closer to her as she finished making the drink, so that only two feet separated
them when she handed him the drink. It was close enough for his woodsy scent to
swarm into her nose. Heat rushed from her belly to her throat. Her face flamed,
probably obviously red if he happened to look. And he was looking, sipping the
whiskey and watching her over the rim of the glass. She poured herself a
whiskey, light on the water.

“The ‘J” stands for
‘Jeremiah.’ It wasn’t enough that they chose ‘Alexander.’ The ‘Jeremiah’ really
finished it off.”

She laughed, relieved to
shift her attention. “Oh, I know exactly what you mean. I got ‘Bryn Electra.’”

“‘Bryn Electra.’ That’s
so perfect,” he chuckled.

Her eyelids sagged in the
pleasure of hearing his laugh.

“And yes, you’re right,”
he continued. “I had a routine, working out, running outside when the weather
permitted. Since all these projects started stacking up on my desk, I haven’t
felt like I could take the time.”

“Alex, I know I have no
right to try to tell you what to do, and it probably won’t do any good, but...”

“But of course you’re
doing to anyway.”

“Yes. Wouldn’t you prefer
I speak my mind?”

“When have you not?”

“Oh well, there are
things...” she bit her lip.
Can’t go there.
“But look,
if you feel good, you’ll work faster, right? Your work will be easier, you’ll
like it more.
Right?
Promise me you’ll take better
care of yourself.”

“Okay,” he laughed,
lifting his glass. “You’re hired to keep me in line.”

“Now...I need to tend to
dinner.”

Even if they couldn’t be
lovers or spend the rest of their lives together in conjugal paradise, Bryn
decided that she would never give up being his friend. Whatever it takes, she
vowed as she lay in her bed waiting for sleep.
Whatever it
takes.

***

He invited her to join them. She
watched and learned as the men tromped through the dead grasses and hacked
through
viney
patches to measure off the tentative
house footprint. She held the end of the long tape measure as they rolled out
the path for the septic system lines and marked the bulldozer routes. They sat
on big rocks for lunch with a burning bright February sun heating their
shoulders.

She had never tasted such
a delicious ham and cheese sandwich. Hot coffee from the thermos and heaps of
potato salad filled her up, but most importantly, Alex ate like a ravenous
wolf. Maybe he had been skipping meals too. She made a mental note to fix
double the normal amount for their lunches in case he had a bit of room for
more.

The afternoon flew by as
they continued to walk and measure and drive stakes with yellow ribbons. Every
stake and measurement had to be double checked against the huge rolled-up
survey maps with their curving lines marking the grades.

“No such thing as an
exact science in this,” Alex commented, standing beside her to watch Randall
and Ted hammering more stakes where the driveway would turn off the main road.
He adjusted his trampled Aussie hat to better shade his eyes. “I’m not taking
down that big old oak over there.” He pointed. “So I’m moving the house six
feet north.”

She stared at the oak
with its bare black branches spread out like an upstretched hand, each finger
sprouting countless smaller branches that pointed to the sky. “It’s probably a
hundred years old,” she mused. “Thank you for saving it.”

He looked at her. “The
land is like you, Bryn Electra.”

“What,” she pouted, “a
hundred years old?!”

“No—beautiful,
mysterious, full of surprises...” His words ended abruptly as Randall called to
him. “And a hundred years old!” he shouted over his shoulder as he hiked toward
them.

“You dog!” she yelled
back, laughing.

He amazed her. He
couldn’t have known how much she saw herself like the land, how its moods and
seasons reflected her own. His words, maybe just being around him, filled her with
hope. Today she felt like spring, could see it creeping in around her feet,
buds swelling on the wintering vines, fresh green shoots of grass poking up
through swirls of beaten down tan stems.

***

They worked another two days. Bryn
left the field midafternoon to start dinner. She hummed as she chopped
vegetables, seared meat, mashed potatoes and rolled out pie dough. When their
laughter cascaded in from the living room, and she knew they were enjoying
their cocktails and the hors d’oeuvres she had set on the coffee table, she
couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. Sometimes when pans of food were steaming
to their finish and she had a moment to spare, she would stand at the kitchen
doorway and let her gaze feast on Alex. 

Maybe it was her
imagination, but it seemed he looked more rested and less strained every day
that passed. The dark circles under his eyes had diminished, and she thought
perhaps he was less thin. No doubt he was more rested here, without the hectic
activity of an office and with only one project to focus on. Even at that, his
cell phone rang often and sometimes his voice had an edge when he talked. When
the call ended, he seemed almost angry as he stuffed the phone back in his
pocket and shifted his attention back to his surroundings.

He took her hands as he
prepared to leave. She was trying really hard not to cry.
Stupid woman,
aren’t you past this by now?

“Randall is staying, but
he knows he’s to pick up his dinner and go to the cabin. I don’t want him in
the house when I’m not here,” he gripped her hands hard.

“Okay, I’ve got it, Alex.
No worries, okay?”

“Okay, look,” he released
her hands and went to pick up his stuff, “you need to contact the sanitation
people and arrange for them to come down and do their
perc
tests. Coordinate with Randall. Once we’ve got the septic fields approved, then
Randall will leave. He’ll finish up the site plan and get his reports ready,
and then he’ll come back to meet with the county engineers. Most of these
documents will be emailed, so I’m not sure what they’ll require for meetings.”

He came toward the door
with his bag and briefcase. “Your other big task is finding a lawyer you like
and trust who can represent your interests in this project. He’ll need to
prepare deeds for each of the parcels now that we have legal descriptions for
them. Dan has contracts you’ll need to sign, but I want your lawyer to review
them.”