Hickory Smoked Homicide (29 page)

Lulu continued. “At some point, one of the girls got the idea for Pansy to imitate Tristan’s voice having an argument with Steffi. Pansy was a great impersonator and had mimicked celebrities for some smaller pageants. They decided to kill Tristan first—using a candlestick that Steffi took from the kitchen at the start of the party but that any guest could have had access to. Pansy put the tiara on her head to make fun of Tristan, I think.... That was more of the kind of thing that Pansy would think of to do.”

Sara twisted a long curl of red hair around a finger thoughtfully. “But how did they get out of Tristan’s room without anyone seeing them? And how did they not have any blood on them?”

“It was easy enough,” said Lulu. “Tristan’s bedroom was on the way to one of the bathrooms. They’d just listen for some of the noise to die down, then slip out, one by one. Then they set up shop in Tristan’s office, knowing Sara or I would be looking for Steffi at eight o’clock to head back home. Pansy pretended to be Tristan, giving Steffi an alibi—she was with me the rest of the evening after the argument with her ‘mother.’ And Pansy wasn’t even supposed to have been there, so she wouldn’t be considered a suspect.”

Derrick still looked puzzled. “So why that old lady? What did they kill
her
for?”

“Dee Dee? Well, Dee Dee was with me when she heard that fake argument. I was so busy trying to help calm Steffi down that I didn’t even notice what happened to her—but I bet that she peeked into the office and saw Pansy in there, not Tristan. And Dee Dee being Dee Dee, she would have tried to extort money from the girls to keep their secret. I guess that didn’t make them feel very secure—and Steffi didn’t have much money anyway. Pansy sure wouldn’t. During the party, Steffi visited with others, and Pansy hurried out to the parking deck. No one noticed her go because during the height of the fund-raiser, there were a lot of people coming and going—trying to get food or use the restroom or go out on the porch to hear the band.”

Sara said, “What about the portrait, though?”

“Dee Dee had taken the portrait from the party as a way to get money from Pepper, who’d destroyed the painting. I guess Pansy saw the portrait in the backseat and decided to pull it out beside Dee Dee as sort of a red herring for the police. Because she had nothing to do with the destruction of the painting.”

Lulu turned to Derrick. “I do feel real bad about Doug. It looked like he and Pansy were really hitting it off the other day. Poor fella.”

Derrick said, “Oh. Well, I actually called him before I headed over here. It’s kind of an irresistible story, you know.”

“Was he very upset?”

Derrick gave a snort. “Not so you’d notice. He was already calling up girls on his cell phone for a sympathy plea . . . giving them some kind of ‘I fell for a felon’ line.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Sounds like he’ll be all right if he’s using the old sympathy ploy to try to get some attention from the girls.”

Derrick cleared his throat. “I noticed something else, too. I was leaving Beale Street and passing 201 Poplar and saw Gordon pulling up there with Pansy’s mom.” Two-o-one Poplar was the well-known address for the Memphis jail.

Ben gave a second eye roll. “Another romantic ploy. He’s
comforting
Colleen. Right.”

“He did seem awfully interested in the beauty-pageant world. And Colleen has been divorced forever,” said Lulu. “Maybe it’ll be a good match.”

Sara said, “Getting back to the murders, though, I simply can’t believe these girls thought they were going to be able to get away with it. That takes a whole lot of confidence.”

Lulu nodded. “Steffi didn’t have much self-confidence herself, but she did believe in Pansy. And, remember, for a while, they
were
getting away with it. That made them feel a lot cockier, I think. Well, y’all, I think I’m about ready to put my feet up for a little while and rest. It sure has been a long and scary day.”

“Can I get you anything, Mother, before we head back to the restaurant?” asked Ben.

“Oh, honey, if you could maybe get me a sweet tea?”

“Sure I will. Is that all you want?” asked Ben.

Lulu said, “That’s it. But be sure and put a little shot of vodka in there, would you?”

 

Put Some South in Your Mouth

 

 

 

 

Combine all ingredients and heat.

Use a double boiler to prepare this recipe—and prevent the water from the bottom pan from touching the top pan. While water is rising to a boil in the bottom pan, mix together the milk, eggs, and sugar. When the water boils, pour the mixture into the top pan. Cook until the custard coats the spoon, stirring often. Strain the custard into a bowl, and add one-half teaspoon vanilla extract. Serve cooled. This recipe is best if made the day before.

Put small amount of cold water on gelatin to moisten. Add one-half cup boiling water and dissolve gelatin. When gelatin is cool, combine other ingredients and put in fridge to cool. Stir with a spoon before spreading. Spread mixture on bread very thickly and refrigerate. Better if spread hours or a day ahead.

Preheat oven to 350. Cook the pie shell according to package instructions. Layer the tomato slices, basil, and onion in the prebaked pie shell. Season with salt and pepper and chives to taste. Combine the cheeses and the mayonnaise, and spread the mixture on top of the tomato layer. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until golden brown.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix together the corn, flour, sugar, salt, and pepper. Add the milk and the butter to the mixture. Add the eggs, and mix the ingredients together well. Pour the mixture into a greased casserole dish. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes or until the pudding is firm.

Mix together the wafers, cocoa, pecans, and powdered sugar. Mix together the corn syrup and bourbon, and then combine it with the wafer mixture. Cover the mixture and refrigerate for several hours or overnight. Form the mixture into small balls; then roll them in powdered sugar. Keep refrigerated.