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24

I
t’s a rare sunny day as I walk through the township with Tamra’s arm wrapped around my waist. A slight mist that has managed to survive the greedy rays floats above our heads, thin enough for the sunlight to filter down and warm my hair.

It’s my first sanctioned outing since I woke, since Cassian and the elders visited me three days ago. Before that, I was unconscious for four days. Unbeknownst to me, in that week, my world was reborn.

“It feels different,” I say as two girls rush past us toward school. Late, presumably.

“Since Severin stepped down, it is different.”

Remy walks by and nods hello. I notice his patrol armband is gone.

“No armband,” I murmur.

“They got rid of them.” The armbands represented a divided pride to me. Those who wore them had been the enforcers, the rest of us the subjugated.

“Can’t say I miss the sight of them.” I nod in satisfaction, knowing who was behind the order. “Cassian will do good things for the pride,” I add.

Tamra gives me a funny look but says nothing.

A group appears in the distance, seven or eight draki returning with the fresh catch of the day. I blink when I recognize two among them.

“Will? Deghan?”

They break from the group when they see us. Grinning, they hold up their stringers of fish. Deghan ducks low to kiss Tamra, right there in the middle of the township, in broad daylight. I try not to stare but it’s not a common sight. And it’s no
little
kiss. It’s the kiss a man gives to a woman when he’s freed from prison.

I can’t help but smile because I guess that’s an apt description for Deghan. They’re still kissing when I look at Will.

And then I forget about them.

I never could see much else when he was around. I look into his changeable eyes … right now they’re a goldish brown. His hair falls down his forehead. It needs cutting. Or maybe not. There’s just more for me to touch, more to slide my fingers through.

He lowers his head and gives me a slow, easy kiss, his lips smooth and cool as the mountain air. “Hi,” he says in that velvet voice that sends shivers through me.

“Hi,” I return, gesturing to the fish. “Nice catch.”

“Yeah. I’m kind of impressed with myself. I always thought redheads were sexy.”

“Ha-ha. I meant the fish.”

“Ah. Yes.” He pulls back to lift his stringer aloft and admire his haul before looking back at me. “How are you feeling today?”

“Good. Nice to see you earning your keep around here,” I tease.

“Nice to know I can … and not, you know, be—”

“Killed,” I finish.

He nods. And the strangeness of this isn’t lost on me. Will. In the pride. Doing ordinary things. Belonging.

“C’mon, Will. Let’s go clean these,” Deghan says.

Will nods, still holding my gaze. “I’ll come by later tonight.”

“Great, but you smell like fish. Clean up first.”

His smile broadens, and I feel light, buoyant just to see him happy here.
Here
. A prospect I always hoped could happen but never really imagined possible.

Tamra and I move on, both reveling in the aftermath of moments with boys we love. Who would have ever thought this would become our reality? Even now it feels like a dream … something that might be snatched away at any moment.

We stop at the small playground outside the primary school. A dozen children play, zipping down the slide or climbing the rock wall. The teacher supervising smiles and waves at us. I wave back awkwardly. It feels weird to be accepted again.

Two girls race to the last available swing. The one who reaches it first hops on with a triumphant smile. The other girl sticks out her tongue and sashays off like she has something better to do.

I grin. “Remember when we were like that?”

Az comes out of the classroom door right then, and I remember that she works as a teacher’s aide for her duty. She stopped by to see me yesterday, fussing over me for getting caught by hunters again, and then catching me up on all the pride gossip.

She runs to the edge of the playground when she sees us, her long hair a black banner streaked with blue. “Hey, good to see you walking around. Tired of bed?” She hugs me. “I mean how boring must it be having a gorgeous guy waiting on you at your bedside?” She rolls her eyes.

“And you?” She points a finger at Tamra. “Better keep that Deghan of yours close. Have you seen all the girls staring after him?” She presses a hand to her chest. “Not me, of course.” She winks at me. “I have more respect than to drool over another girl’s guy.”

“Az!” The teacher calls out from across the playground.

“Gotta run.” Az sighs. “Some of us have duties … you know, instead of adventures with hot boys.”

Tamra and I are chuckling as she darts away.

“Oh, I’ve missed her,” I say, shaking my head. Turning, I examine Tamra’s profile thoughtfully. “I’m going to miss you, too.”

Tamra’s features turn wistful. “You can stay here now, you know. Will, too.” She bites her lip, releasing it to say, almost as though she’s reading my thoughts, “It will be different now.”

“I know that.”

“And it’s not as though Will is quite human either.”

I nod. That’s true. I draw a deep breath and consider Will. The verdict’s still out on him. He’s not a draki but not human either. He has powers, true … but did the draki blood extend his life, too? Only time will tell.

“I know the pride is a better place now. With Cassian—”

“Jacinda.”

Something in Tam’s voice stops me. Her arm slips from around my waist. I turn to face her, gingerly positioning myself before her.

“What if Cassian weren’t in charge?”

My eyebrows furrow “Who else …”

“Last night Cassian and the remaining elders came to see me.”

I tip my head to the side, waiting for her to explain.

“They don’t want one alpha at the helm anymore. They want to keep it a council made up of representatives …” She flounders for a moment.

She looks out at the playing children, and I can’t help wondering who among them might be a fire-breather, or a defunct draki like everyone thought Tamra was. And whether the new pride will treat them both with fairness.

A breeze whips fiery tendrils across my face and I scrape them back. “Well. That sounds very democratic.”

She finally continues. “They want me to be on the council. And Deghan.”

I pull back. Angling my head, I look at her, marveling that my sister has become someone others admire. I’ve always known there was greatness in her, but until recently the pride never realized it. “And I can hear in your voice that you’re interested.”

“I said yes.”

“I see.” Nodding slowly, I process this and tell myself I should have been prepared for this. She had already told me as much … that she wanted to remain with the pride. It’s not really a shock. Since Deghan, things have changed. Tamra would no longer be content to follow me through life. A good thing, I know. We’ll be sisters, always, and still love each other, just lead separate lives. That’s as it should be. Still … it’s an adjustment thinking of my future without her next to me. And it stings a little. “You’ll be good for the pride. Fair. They’re lucky to have you.” The words are tight in my throat, but I manage to get them out.

If I told her about Mom would she still want to remain here? Even as I wonder, I know it’s not fair to manipulate her with that information just because I don’t want to lose her. But then can I
not
tell her? It’s not something I can keep to myself.

“We’re not little girls anymore,” she murmurs.

“No. We’re not,” I agree. A silence falls. “I know where to find Mom,” I finally admit. “Remember our trip to Oregon? That picture of us in front of the rock formation that looked like a palm tree?”

Tamra nods, her expression brightening. “Yes! The palm tree!”

“She’s there,” I say. “She’s gone back there.” I watch Tamra, hoping—unfairly, I know—that this might change her mind.

Instead, she says, “Well, she can come back here now. Her banishment won’t stand anymore—”

“I doubt she’ll care.” I give Tamra a look. “You don’t expect her to want to live here again, do you? She’s never wanted that.”

Tamra sighs. “You’re right.”

And then I feel bad … for trying to use Mom against her. “I’m sure she’ll visit,” I say. “She’ll be glad you’re happy. I am, too.”

She looks at me with relief.

I shake my head, thinking of something else. “What about Cassian? Is he content just being another member of this council?”

She looks at me like I should already know this answer. “He’s leaving.”

“What?”

“He’s leaving the pride.”

Suddenly it’s hard to breathe.

She stares at me in concern. “Jacinda? Are you okay?”

“The pride needs him.” That’s what he always told me—that the pride needed him.
Us
. He’d almost convinced me of that.

“He doesn’t seem to think so anymore. His dad stepped down. Severin is broken, ashamed. Him and Corbin both.” She moistens her lips and stares back out at the children. “I don’t think Cassian can stay here anymore. Not after everything that’s happened.”

And I guess I understand that. I don’t see him remaining here, fading, disappearing into shadow alongside his father and cousin. Not that I’m lumping him in with Severin and Corbin. They’re struggling with their shame while he battles with his grief for Miram. My eyes close in a pained blink as Miram’s face swims before me. I know him well enough to know he’s blaming himself. “I guess that’s true.”

“What about you, Jacinda? What are you going to do?”

What am I going to do? It’s the question I’ve been asking myself for months now. Even longer than that. Even before there was Will tugging me one way and Cassian another …

When it all comes down to me—just me—what do
I
want? Where am I supposed to be? For the first time, I have the freedom to make that choice. A slow smile takes over my lips.

I loop my arm through Tamra’s and we move away from the playground. The children’s laughter fades behind us. “Believe it or not, I’m still figuring that out. First, of course, Will and I are going to find Mom. And then …” My voice dies away and I feel my smile stretch wider.

She nudges me playfully. “What are you smiling about?”

“Nothing. Just feels good to have a choice. Until now, I’ve never really had the freedom to decide and then make that decision a reality. But wherever I go, I’ll come back to visit. I have to see my hotshot sister leading the pride into the future, after all.”

Tamra rolls her eyes.

“Now, c’mon,” I say. “All this walking has made me famished.”

25

I
tiptoe down the darkened hallway of Nidia’s house, taking special care as I enter the living room where Will sleeps on the couch. I watch him for a moment, appreciating the rugged beauty of him before slipping outside. I need to do this alone. No sense waking him.

The township hums with all the sounds of night, but no one else is about as I move north toward Cassian’s house. A light flows through the shades. Someone’s up. I think of Severin. Tamra called him ashamed. Broken. It’s hard summoning remorse for the man. I know he lost his daughter … and, in a manner, his sister, too.

Squaring my shoulders, I knock and wait, hoping Severin doesn’t open the door. I know Jabel was responsible for my father’s death and not him, but he still played his part in my life’s miseries. I don’t want to look on his face again if I don’t have to.

I know who’s on the other side of the door before it opens. I feel him as keenly as my own breath spilling from my lips.

“Jacinda.” His gaze sweeps over me in my nightgown and then looks over my shoulder. “You came alone?”

I nod.

He gestures behind him. “Come in.”

I wave to the porch swing. “Can we sit out here?”

He closes the door behind him and takes a seat. I sit beside him. For a while, we just swing, and I wonder if this is how it would have been if I had never left the pride. Cassian and I rocking together on porch swings in the evenings for the rest of our lives?

“You’re leaving,” I announce.

He inclines his head. “Yes. So are you.” Not a question.

“Yes. Where will you go?”

He flips a hand idly through the air. “I don’t know. There’s a lot to see out there … other prides. I’d like to connect with them. Share what I’ve learned, warn them about the enkros and their tracking devices. Maybe I’ll learn from them, too.”

I think of Lia, Roc, and the others—wonder if they made it. A bitter taste coats my mouth.

“I’m sure there are better places for me than here,” he adds.

I turn to him. “What are you looking for?”

“Maybe somewhere that I can contribute something good.”

“You can do that here.”

He winces. One corner of his mouth curls in a partial smile. “Then maybe somewhere I can forget. How’s that for honesty?”

His purply dark eyes cut into me, and I know he’s talking about more than his family, more than his sister.