Hidden Barriers (4 page)

I catch Cara making her way behind the bar again. She eyes Nick who chugs back his beer. “Another pint, darlin’?” she asks him as she leans over to put glasses into the dishwasher, flashing us in the process. Nick chuckles, but agrees and slides his empty glass over to her. I’m still drinking my own beer as Cara gets doused in the bottom of the keg foam while pouring Nick’s beer. Cursing under her breath, she begins cleaning up her mess.

I quickly glance at the clock and realize I’ve been here much longer than I expected to stay. Abruptly standing from my stool, I slap Nick on the shoulder as I pull out my wallet from my pocket. “Shit, man, I have to get going. I promised Jeremy I’d swing by my parents’ house, and then I’ve got to go meet up with someone later. Don’t wait up for me.” I wink at my last statement before dropping a ten onto the bar for my beer.

Nick gives me a curious look as Cara makes her way to the back door at the end of the bar. “Hey, Sam! Can you change out the Guinness tap? It just kicked!” she shouts down the hall. Turning my way to the front door, I hastily make my way through the bar and out onto the street. I stop for a minute to throw on my knit beanie hat and glance back at Nick inside, as it appears he has struck up a conversation with two girls now. It’s hard to tell who the other girl is since the windows are still covered in frost from last night’s sub-zero temperatures. This seriously has been the winter that will just not end.

Why I decided to include craft beers to my drink lineup I’ll never know. Oh, that’s right, because in order to get dudes to walk into a wine bar, you need to have beer to keep them happy as well. Nevertheless, changing out keg lines sucks. My normal bartender called in sick today, so there is no way I can change over the line until he comes in or I get another guy to help from upstairs.

Pushing open the door to head to the main floor, I see Cara behind the bar talking to a customer. “Hey, Cara,” I say, getting her attention. “Unless he wants to help change over the tap downstairs, just give him another beer on the house,” I say as I grab an empty pitcher to finish draining the Guinness line. As I pass them, I see the front door shut and a guy standing on the other side of the window looking in. I hear the guy at the bar say he will help with the tap if we need him. “Cara, if you want to take him down there, I’ll meet you once I’m done here.”

When I turn back to the front window, the figure that was standing there moments ago has left. A chill runs up my spine, but I shake it away, knowing
he
is still behind bars. Shortly after, Cara comes through the door from the back, saying Nick is ready to change the line whenever I’m ready. I guess his name is Nick.

I dump the end of the keg down the drain and tell Cara that I’ll be right back as I head downstairs again to make sure Nick knows what he’s doing. By the time I get to the keg room, he’s got it ready to pop in. Clearly, this is not his first time around a keg.

“All right, Nick, you’re good to go,” I tell him as I walk closer to inspect his work. Within seconds, he’s managed to get it switched over. “I should offer you a job here during the weekends. We go through at least four kegs on a normal Friday night.”

Wiping off his hands, he looks up at me. “As much as that offer sounds like a dream, I think I’ll stick with my day job.”

“Oh, yeah, what’s that?” I ask as I update the inventory sheet and head toward the stairs.

“I’m a cop for North Andover PD,” he says, coming up behind me.

Shit. There are probably a million laws I just violated by having him help me with the keg. His laughter permeates my thoughts, and when his hand lands on my shoulder, I shudder at his touch. I never let men get close enough to touch me anymore. With just one touch, I’m instantly transported back to that night.

His hands grip my shoulders so tightly I am almost positive he’s breaking bones as he pushes me into a dark room. His mouth lingers inches behind my head. “Do you think you can tramp around the bar all night wearing that and flirting with every guy you see? I saw you. May as well have just spread your fuckin’ legs and fucked them all in front of me. Oh, wait. I think you actually did, didn’t you?”

“Hey, are you okay?” I hear in the distance. I hear the voice again, but it’s not
him
. My eyes focus on my surroundings. I’m here in the bar with Nick. Not Stone.
Breathe, Sam.
I have to remember to breathe. I need to get out of here.

Nick cautiously steps closer to me before speaking, “Are you okay? You’re awfully pale. I didn’t just freak you out, did I? If you’re worried about the cop thing, don’t. Trust me, I’m not the bad cop.”

Trust him. I have to laugh. I can’t trust any guy anymore. Stone made sure of that.

“I’m fine. I just had a moment. I need to get upstairs to get the keg line taken care of. Do you still want that drink?” I ask as I make my way toward the stairs with Nick following me.

“I’d prefer Cara’s phone number, but another drink works, too.”

I have to laugh. He wants Cara’s phone number. Good luck. That girl is a big flighty mess when it comes to guys. “If you want her number, you’ll have to pass her test, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. Her bite is worse than her bark.”

“I’ll take my chances,” Nick says before we enter the bar area again.

“Hey, Cara,” I say. She turns her attention to me. “That Guinness keg is ready to start up.” She nods as she grabs the dump pitcher. “Oh, and this one,” I point to Nick as I continue, “he’d like to be number fifteen.”

We have a running tally. Nick is the fifteenth guy to ask for her number since she started working at Vines about a month ago. Cara laughs it all off because she can. Plus, she hasn’t given out her number to a single guy yet. In some ways she’s like me, constantly single. The only difference with Cara is she has no problem hooking up if she thinks the guy is hot. Nick will probably have a shot with her after she leaves here.

Making my way back to my office, I turn up the volume on my phone as Gin Wigmore
echoes off the walls. I continue to work through the horrid memories that creep to the front of my mind. I need to talk to someone, anyone right now. I can’t go back to that place I was years ago. I just can’t. There’s only one person I know who can help me from becoming the old Sam.

The person who saved me that night.

I grab my cell phone and run my finger over his name. Other than my dad, he’s the only guy I’ll allow close enough to me these days. After the phone rings a few times, I hear him pick up. “Hey, Sis. Long time no talk. How’s it going?”

My brother Drew.

“Hey, Drew. Just calling to talk and say hi. I really need someone to talk to right now.”

My quick check on Emily turned into me agreeing to come back in the morning to take Aspen for a few hours so she doesn’t have to worry about him knocking her over. While Courtney left Emily alone today, Aspen took it upon himself to jump on Emily as she tried to maneuver around the apartment. The end result was Courtney walking in and finding Emily on the floor unable to help herself up from under the 120-pound barrel of fur. He means well and just wants to play, but with her injuries right now, it’s too risky.

I couldn’t stay long with the girls, but I promised Jeremy I’d make sure everything was going well with Emily. I did just that, but now I need to make sure everything is still going well with my dick. Tarryn and I don’t fuck a lot, but if she wants it, and I have the night off, I won’t say no. That is why I’m now driving twenty minutes out of my way just to get some. Think what you want, but my hand was starting to get raw from overuse, and it’s been almost a month since Tarryn’s last booty call.

Tarryn lives in a wealthy community just off Route 93 about ten minutes north of Boston. She brags, because evidently, she has some famous neighbors. I have no idea who she said they were, nor did I care the fifth time she told me. Like I said, her family comes from money, and
we
have nothing in common at all other than sex.

By the time I pull into her driveway a little after eight, she’s already standing in the open doorway waiting for me, tapping her high heels against the floor with her arms crossed and a scowl across her face. It pisses me off when she does that. If I’m even so much as one minute late, she turns into a raging bitch and thinks we have some exclusive arrangement.

The minute I’m through her front door, she turns her back to me and heads in the direction of the kitchen. “Do you think I enjoy waiting around for you, Josh? If this is an inconvenience for you, I’m sure I can find another guy who won’t waste my time.” She snarls as she grabs her glass of wine from the counter.

“Seriously, Tarryn? How many times do I need to tell you?
We
are not exclusive or even close to being anything more than fuck buddies. And, let me remind you of one thing. You. Called. Me,” I say sternly, so she understands exactly what I’m implying. “I’ve got a lot of shit going on right now, so either you lay off the bitchy attitude, or I’m out of here and you can certainly go find yourself another cock to bounce on tonight.”

Tarryn takes a sip of her wine, never losing eye contact with me. She slowly places her glass onto the counter and saunters seductively over toward me, and I’m immediately on guard. She’s up to no good, and I trust her even less now than I did when I first met her. But, damn, those legs get me every fuckin’ time.

As she closes in to within an arm’s length, I am cautiously on guard for good reason. She leans in to within inches of my face before her hand snakes its way down my chest. Lower. Lower still until she distracts me with her voice as she says, “Josh, you know if you didn’t want what I can give you, then you wouldn’t be here right now. So, stop with the authoritative tone and fuck me already.” That’s when I don’t see exactly how low her hand is going until it’s too late. The minute she finishes speaking, her hand grabs my cock and forces me to follow her lead. Of course, her lead is in the direction of her bedroom, and I’m not about to not follow her. She has my balls in her vice grip.

With Tarryn, there is never foreplay. We always jump right into sex. By the time we make it to her bedroom, it is only a matter of seconds before we have removed every ounce of clothing we are wearing. She takes to lying on her bed much quicker than me. There’s always a moment of hesitation before I slide on the condom with her, where I feel as though I shouldn’t be doing this. Then, her long, toned legs spread wide open, revealing her perfectly manicured pussy, and that thought is quickly diminished.