Hidden (Hidden Series Book One) (17 page)

I ran my fingers along the canopy post.
Gross! Did I sleep in my parents’ bed … where they used to…

Actually, they were probably not that kind
of couple – in love and affectionate. They probably only slept
together to make me, the thing that would eventually kill for them,
if they even had then. Maybe there were labs involved in breeding.
Maybe I grew in a Petri dish.

The room got too stuffy to stand, clouded
with worry. A heaviness Leah would sit in, drown in, unaware of
herself slipping under. I went to the window, pulled back the
thick, floor-length curtain, and opened it. It creaked, like the
joints hadn’t moved in quite some time.

The window opened to the roof. It was flat
enough to sit on. I lay under the stars, listening to the whistling
sounds of trees and the symphony of bugs. I shivered, not from
cold, but from a familiar and terrifying feeling. I glanced at my
arm, hairs telling me what I knew to be true already. I was being
watched again.

“I’m fine, Sophia. I hope you don’t think
I’m about to jump,” I whispered, hoping it was really her
watching.

I heard a faint ruffling in the distance and
sat up, heart pounding, preparing to flash to a new hiding spot if
I needed to, if the hunters had found me. A gust of wind blew
through the trees, mimicking the sound enough that I could convince
myself I didn’t need to worry right now.

The hairs fell on my arm, and I relaxed back
onto the roof, my eyes watering. I allowed myself a few tears, but
I didn’t spiral out of control. The tears seemed appropriate. They
seemed to whisper,
I don’t know who to be more afraid of, them
or myself
, as they fell.

“Stars bring prayers to heaven,” I said,
quoting something Whitney said once. We were eight and she had
finally started to realize how weird I was, how I never talked to
anyone, how I rarely even talked to her. She’d kept me up far past
my bedtime, rambling about her parents while I just stared at
her.

“You don’t wonder what they were like?”
she’d asked, still jumping around the room at ten o’clock, watching
her hair bounce around and making herself dizzy.

“No,” I whispered. It came out all rough and
hoarse, quite possibly the first thing I’d said in hours.

“Then you’re an alien from Mars. No,
Jupiter. No, Pluto. Esther … I mean … Sienna … thinks about her
parents. She said so today. I heard her.” I closed my eyes, wishing
I could do the same with my ears. “I wish I could meet them. I
wish. I wish. I wish.”

She went on for another hour about how the
stars had just carried her wish to heaven while I wondered why I
couldn’t feel anything for my parents. I would answer that question
with
evil magic
a few years later. And Nate would amend that
with
evil copy
after that.

The stars never helped Whitney meet her
parents, but maybe they would deliver my wish.

“I wish I could be good. Be Christine,
Nathan’s friend.”

Once I opened a window in my mind to think
of him, worry flooded in. He’d ignored me at dinner and all day
after scarfing down his lunch like he had a fire to put out
somewhere.

Whitney told me once that having no friends
was better than me. She was screaming at the top of her lungs as I
stared out of the window, wondering why she cared at all. I’d
always been the same. Maybe she was hoping I’d grow out if it, but
I didn’t. I was always sad and tired and … me.

“Crap.” I groaned. I’d done the same thing
to Nathan. Been too quiet. Too weird. Normal people have bright
personalities, and when he saw that I wasn’t born with one, he was
done.

I didn’t want to be that girl anymore.

I crawled back into my room and ran to his.
I wanted to be a good friend and a good person. It was what I
desired, what I wanted to stand for. And that’s who I was,
according to Sophia.

I made it to his room before I remembered he
could be in there with Remi. I still needed to try. I didn’t try
hard enough with Whitney, and I made her hate me so much that she
joined Sienna and tortured me every day. I took a deep breath to
steady myself and knocked. A bed creaked, and the door opened a
second later.

“Yeah?” he asked. He stepped into the
opening. My breath stalled at the sight of his bare chest. Remi was
right, I’d missed out. “Hi,” he said. I hadn’t recovered. “What’s
up?”

“I can come back if you’re busy,” I said. “I
just wanted to apologize.”

“For what?” I stammered for a second, and he
looked down at his chest. “Oh. Sorry. Hold on.” He disappeared from
the door and came back with a shirt on. “Why do you need to
apologize?”

“I know how I am. I’m weird, not fun to be
around, but I promise I’ll try harder if you give me another
chance.”

“I’m sorry. I’m an idiot.” He opened the
door and pulled me to his chest. I wrapped my arms around him,
remembering to keep them at the friendly height. “There’s nothing
wrong with you. I’m just having a bad day.” I sighed, relieved that
I still had my friend and proud that I hadn’t started crying. “Do
you want to come in?” he asked.

“Yep.” I didn’t want to stop hugging him,
but he dropped his arms. I had to drop mine. His room was small but
as nice as the rest of my house. He shut the door softly and leaned
on it. I went over to his full-sized bed. He had laundry piled on
top of it – jeans, t-shirts, and boxers.

No Remi.

I sat on his bed because he’d sat on mine.
It didn’t seem off-limits or weird. Well, it wouldn’t be for as
long as I could restrain myself from sniffing his pillows or
something equally as creepy.

He plopped down on the other side of the
pile. “Want help?” I asked, gesturing to the clothes. He nodded,
and I grabbed a white t-shirt from the top. He laughed, and I
raised a brow, asking for the joke. “What?”

“I was just thinking … you’re going to
eventually stick your hand in that pile and get my underwear. I was
imagining what you’d say.”

I chuckled. “Probably something
awkward.”

“No doubt.” I threw the half folded shirt at
his face. He held it there. “No doubt,” he repeated, a little
softer, like he’d gone somewhere else for a moment.

“Want to talk about your bad day?” I
asked.

“I’ve just been in a mood, and I was trying
to stay away from my best friend so I wouldn’t annoy her.” I smiled
and shook my head, trying to tell him that he could never annoy me.
Not this me, anyway. “But I can’t really tell you why because it
will be weird. It’s about a girl.”

His words punctured me, letting out the
little hope I’d built, and had tried to ignore, for an impossible
future with him as more than friends. There was something going on
with him and that stupid panther. But if he was having a bad day,
it was my job to cheer him up. I never did that for Whitney, and I
didn’t want to lose him.

“You can talk to me about that kind of
thing,” I said. “What are best friends for?”

“Why not? It may make me feel less stupid if
I just tell you.” He cleared his throat and chewed on his bottom
lip. “I’ve been feeling horrible since I made a move on this girl
that I don’t belong with.”

I’d say. Remi sucked and he was perfect.
They
so
didn’t belong together. I nodded, trying to be
encouraging anyway. “What did you do?”

“Kissed her.” I almost gagged. Remi was
pretty, but she smelled awful to him, and acted awful to me. “You
see … she’s a multimillionaire and owns this house, and I’m
homeless. She’s also beautiful, and I occasionally turn into an
animal. Way out of my league. Pretty dumb of me, huh?”

His words swirled in my head, mixing and
getting all confused with the tiny hope left in me. I knew I’d
imagined it.

“What do you mean? League? What was dumb?” I
asked, shaking my head, trying to stay with him in reality this
time.

He jumped up from the bed, pacing in the
little space between it and his dresser.

“I kissed you yesterday. My stupid instincts
misread things. Nothing happened. We just sat there all night. But
when you showed me that credit card and your bank account, I felt
even worse for making a move.”

“What move? You’re not talking about
Remi?”

“No. She only acts interested in me when
you’re around. She walked away as soon as you went to your room.
And yes, a move. I kissed you on the cheek, and I’m embarrassed
because you’re rich. You didn’t make me feel bad, of course, but
you didn’t have to. I … I’m sorry. ”

“For what? Sophia kisses me on the cheek. It
didn’t mean anything,” I said.

“It did to me, but whatever. It doesn’t
matter. I’m not good enough to kiss you anyway,” he said.

My heart sped like I’d been running for
hours. Nathan … liked me? Like more than a friend? I stood, then
sat, then stood again. Unsure of what to feel or do or say.

“Are you joking?” I managed, then found the
rest of my words. “I’m nowhere near good enough for
you
.”
That was an understatement. He was perfection from head to toe,
inside and out. Worth way more than fifty-two million dollars. And
I was someone’s copy. “Since the kiss was on the cheek, and since
there wasn’t a chance in hell someone who looks like you would want
to kiss me, I didn’t think you meant anything by it.”

He dropped his head and clasped his hands on
the back of it.

“You’re blind,” he said. “And clueless. How
does holding you for hours and kissing you not mean anything? What
was I supposed to do? Stick my tongue down your throat?”

The thought of that knocked the wind from my
chest. It was what he’d done in my dream. Fantasy. There wasn’t a
chance that he, my friend, would want more from me, the spaz.

However unbelievable, however sure I was
that I was about to wake up from some amazing dream, I was somehow
bold enough to whisper, “Yes.”

He moved too quickly for my eyes. I only saw
a blur as he closed the distance between us. He grabbed my face
with both of his hands and kissed me, a sweet and perfect, gentle
press of his lips to mine.

I couldn’t say it was better than I’d hoped
it would be. I’d never hoped for this. This was never supposed to
happen to me.

I was supposed to fear elimination, for no
real reason at all, until I met the death I’d waited for. I was
supposed to be secluded, unwanted. Sad and alone with no one to
kiss. With no one to want to kiss me.

His lips parted, and I went with what common
sense said to do – to part mine too, tilt my head, and move with
him. It made me dizzy, wonderfully so. I clutched his shirt for
balance, and he lifted me up in his arms.

My feet dangled over the carpet as I lost
myself in the kiss. Everything that had been wrong before was gone.
Whoever my parents were, whoever I was meant to be, didn’t matter.
Because I was this girl, the one who was kissing Nathan. The one
who’d want to kiss him forever. Damn magic, damn psychic-hunter
powers, damn anything that wasn’t his lips.

He sighed into my mouth. If he weren’t
holding me, I would’ve fallen over. His lips trailed to my cheek
and stopped at my ear. “Are you sure about this?” he whispered.
“I’d be okay if you changed your mind. Okay in the sense of being
totally devastated, but still okay. You could do way better.
Someone rich.”

“Stop that. It’s not even like you to pity
yourself,” I said. He sighed and chuckled softly. “It doesn’t
matter how much money I have. It doesn’t make me better.”

“I’ll try not to let it bother me. I’m sorry
about how I acted today. I just don’t like mooching. I’m going to
find a job really soon and an apartment, and you can come
visit.”

“Please don’t go!” I didn’t mean to shout or
to grab him like a lunatic. “I mean … I wouldn’t want to be here
without you. I mean …” I couldn’t rephrase that. I couldn’t make
myself sound less desperate.

“Then every dollar I get will be yours.”

I knew I wouldn’t take a penny from him, but
I let it go. I kissed
him
this time, getting the hang of
things, learning our rhythm – lips close, peck, lips open, linger,
linger, linger, peck.

He pulled away, and I froze there, with
puckered lips, wanting to feel his again. “Would you like to go on
a date with me?” he asked.

“I’d love to,” I said, smiling hard enough
to break my jaw. A date? With a guy? This guy? Yep, this dream
would be over any second now. “Where?”

The smile vanished from his face. “We’re not
leaving. I haven’t even left the gates myself, afraid someone would
follow me here. I’m terrified of someone finding you. Lydia Shaw.
Anyone. The thought of it freaks me out.”

It was very easy to forget she was out there
searching while I was safely hidden, gaining a friend and getting
kissed.

He put me down, his face still serious. Out
of his arms, I felt less protected and more open to my worries.
Vulnerable to the truth I’d somehow managed to forget for a moment
– I was his enemy, my parents hid me from agents who were currently
searching for me, and I was not the person he thought I was.

But I’d just been asked out on a date, a
real
date with my first friend, so panic would have to wait
until it was over.

He grabbed my hand and led me down the
stairs and into the kitchen. He popped a bag of popcorn, and I
poured two glasses of the lemonade we’d had at dinner. I let him
choose the movie. He dropped the remote when we heard machine
guns.

“Jackpot,” he said. “Wait, are we supposed
to watch something with shopping or dancing or something.” I shook
my head, and he pulled me to his lap like I weighed nothing. “I’m
sorry. I’m too much of a gentleman to let you sit over there. The
TV’s all blurry from that angle.”

I laughed and kissed his cheek. How I’d
thought this was a friendly position last night was beyond me. I
was
clueless. The explosions in the background were the
perfect soundtrack to how I felt cradled in his arms. Now that I
knew he liked me and that I could kiss him, I was smoldering in his
lap.