Hiding Away (Anchored Hearts #1.5) (13 page)

C
hapter Twenty Five

~ JANE ~

I turned back to Cal and he was now standing.  “I don’t understand.  What do we have to talk about?  We love each other.”

“Cal, please, I need to talk to you about Derek.”  Was I really going to tell him everything?

“What about Derek?”  I could tell by the look on his face that he misunderstood.  “Is he back, what’s going on?”

“NO.  That’s not what I meant.  I can’t marry you when there are still so many things you don’t know.”

“I told you it doesn’t matter.  I don’t need to know what happened.  I love you, no matter what happened.”

I reached for him, but he pulled away.  “It does matter.  Can’t we talk about this later, at home?”

He was wounded.  I’d rejected him in front of our families.  I had no idea he was thinking about marriage already.  I mean maybe I should’ve figured it out.  This was entirely my fault.  He had turned his back to me and when I walked around to face him, there were tears in his eyes.  My heart snapped at the sight of it.  I tried to touch him but he brushed me off.

“No.  It’s cool.  I get it.”  He didn’t get it.  “I need some air.”  He walked out the French doors that led to the patio and shut the door behind him.

Collapsing on the couch, I buried my head in my hands and tried to get my breathing under control.  My chest was so tight that it hurt to breathe.  The couch dipped next to me and I heard James ask if I was ok.

“I just tore out his heart.  He doesn’t understand.  There are things I haven’t told
anyone, not even him, which he needs to know.”

“What things?”

“Things that happened with Derek and the real reasons I came home.  Stop looking at me like that.  I can’t believe he proposed.”

“You didn’t have any idea?”

I shook my head as the anxiety of what I’d done and what I had to tell Calvin took over.  “I have to get out of here.”

“Jane?”

“Please, James.  Please make sure he’s ok.  I just need to be alone.  I need to figure out some things.  Please.”

“Ok.  I’ll go talk to him.  Please drive safe.”

“I will.”  When I stood up to leave I saw Cassidy slipping out the same French doors, I’m sure she was in search of Calvin.  I made my way to the foyer and the front door.  I heard my mom calling after me, but just waved her off as I bellowed, “Not now.”

I got in my car and began driving aimlessly for close to an hour as the tears poured down my cheeks.  How was I going to tell him?  The silence was killing me so I cranked the radio.
  I was sitting in a parking lot, a mile from my parents’ house, the windows fogged up as the tears finally stopped. 
Say Something
by A Great Big World
began playing and I lost it all over again.

When I was done sobbing like a mental case
, I began driving to my parents’ house.  It was right around the corner and I needed to clean myself up before I headed back to the party.  I only prayed Cal was still there when I got back.

He was it for me.  I had to tell him about my past, everything, before we could move forward.  I couldn’t believe I
ruined his proposal.  I wanted to say yes, I could’ve said yes.  I knew he didn’t care about my past.  He loved me regardless, but he had to know.  I had to fix this and I prayed it wasn’t too late as I ran up the steps to my parent’s house. 

I had fixed my makeup as best I could in the hallway bathroom when I heard a knock on the door. 
Cal!
  I rushed to the door, expecting to find Cal standing there.  He probably left right after me, and when he didn’t find me at his place, figured I’d be here.  I opened the door and my stomach flipped.  I couldn’t be alone with him, it wasn’t safe.  Trying desperately to shut the door, his strength outweighed mine as he forced it open. 

“Derek, get out of here.”  That was the last thing I remember.

~ CALVIN ~

What had I done?  I was an idiot for proposing the way I did.  I just couldn’t hold it in any longer.  Instead of
her saying yes, she’d ultimately run off on me and her family.  Here we were, celebrating the Holidays, and I had ruined it.  I was back inside, checking my phone every thirty seconds. 

Her mom and dad had assured me she just needed some space
and that everything would be fine.  After that, they said their goodbyes since they had a plane to catch.  James and Cassidy were standing by a window talking quietly as Lisa and dad joined them.  James’ parents were sitting on the couch by the fireplace while I was sitting in a chair in the corner with my head resting on my propped up hands.  I had to fix this.

I stood up abruptly as James made his way over to me.  “Just save it.  I screwed up, I know.  It was too much, too fast.”

James put his hands up in defense, “Chill out.  Jane just doesn’t like being the focus of everyone’s attention.  She also told me there are things that happened with Derek that she wants to discuss with you.  She loves you.  She said she’d be back.  Have you tried calling her?”

“Yea
h.  She’s not answering.”  I dug my hand in my pocket and pulled my cell out again.  I checked, hoping somehow I’d missed her call, but there was still no response to my texts or calls. 

Jane had fled over two hours ago.  It made for a very uncomfortable family celebration.  Everyone said to just give her some space and that
if she said she’d come back, she’d come back.  I was beginning to doubt that.  Maybe Derek really was back in the picture and this was her way of telling me.  I needed to see her, but I didn’t even know where she went. 

Then it dawned on me that she could
very well be at home,
our home
, packing her bags. 
FUCK! 
I had to go find her.  She’d just moved in a few weeks ago and I’d probably just blown it with my inability to be patient.  I just couldn’t wait to shout it to the world.  She was what I wanted and nobody was going to get in the way of that.  I had seen too much horrible shit in my time.  Between the Army and the squad; life was too short to not grab on to the ones you love and hold on tight.  Paul had helped me realize that.

“Cal?  Where are you going?”  Cassidy tried to stop me from leaving.

“I have to find her and fix this.”  I gave her a quick hug before I ran and hopped in my truck.

~ JANE ~

My head was pounding.  As I came to, I remembered opening the door at my parent’s place, thinking that I’d find Cal on the other side, and then everything went black.  I tried pulling my hands to my face and discovered I couldn’t move.  My eyes struggled to open, the light piercing only making my head hurt more.  There was music filling the air, which was exceptionally loud, and made it all worse. 
Love Don’t Die
by The Fray
was ringing through the air. 
What was going on?

A figure floated into view a
s I recognized the surroundings of my childhood bedroom.  My fuzzy vision tried to focus; it was then that I recognized the bare chest in front of me.  As my eyes made their way to his face, the room began to spin as I started to comprehend what was happening.  I could taste blood on my lip, I was naked from the waist down, and I was tied to the four corners of the bed.  Why was I naked?  My chest constricted as he smiled down at me and sat next to me running his hand up and down my bare leg. 

Unable to stop it,
I began sobbing; remembering the beautiful proposal Cal had just done for me.  It was in front of our families and I had ruined it by basically telling him no and then running out like a coward.  I freaked out and ruined it, him, our relationship, and now I was getting my just desserts.  It was my intention to clean myself up, gather the rest of my belongings from my parents, and head back to the party.  Though I didn’t know that when I ran out on him.  I figured it out on the drive to my parents.  I still hadn’t fully moved in and I wanted to tell Calvin everything about Derek before I told him yes. 
Yes, I’ll marry you!
  I didn’t want my secrets to grow and fester between us anymore than they had. 

“
Janey, I’ve missed you.”  Derek leaned down and I tried turning away from him, but he dug his fingers into my face and forced his lips on mine.  Biting his tongue, when he dared to put it in my mouth, earned me another smack across the face.  “Bitch!  You’ve been a bad girl.”

C
hapter Twenty Six

~ JANE ~

“Let me go, Derek.  Leave now and I’ll forget everything.”  My voice came out stronger than I thought it would. 

“
WE
will be leaving soon enough.  Good thing I know your family so well.  I presume your parents are leaving today, like usual, for Hawaii, the staff is all gone too.  That would have been awkward explaining my presence.  Anyways, you’ll leave a note saying that we made up and you moved back to California.” 

I couldn’t quite decipher if he was talking aloud or to me.  He was clearly off his rocker.
  And Cal would believe it.  That was his first thought when I told him I had to talk to him about Derek.  “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“
Yes
, you are.  You let the cop get too close, but he’ll get over it.”

Oh, God, Cal.  I started to panic, wondering how long I’d been tied up here.  Cal wouldn’t just let me walk out.  He’d come looking for me.  I had to protect him at all costs.  This was my mess to clean up.  Why
hadn’t I just told him?  He could’ve protected me.  If I hadn’t run out on him earlier I wouldn’t be here now.  Now I had to protect him.

“You’re right.  I missed you, Derek.  Take me home.”  He pulled his brows together and examined my face. 
I softened my eyes and attempted to smile at him.  His expression eased as he caressed my face.

“I
already started packing your things, though there isn’t much.  A lot of your clothes are still at home.  I figured you’d come back after a couple weeks because you left so much behind.  We should be able to leave soon.” 

“Baby, can you untie me.  I’m so uncomfortable
, please.”

He just got off the bed and said he’d think about it.  I watched him as he pulled the remaining clothes out of my dresser and closet and shoved them into a duffel bag. 
He was talking to himself, reciting a list of things to do, and that was when I caught sight of a gun on my dresser. 
Where did he get a gun? 
I laid there for what seemed like forever, with that fucking song replaying over and over, waiting to see what his next move would be.

Eventually he came back to me and untied my right wrist and then worked his way down to my right ankle.  Once
my foot was free I lost all sense and tried to kick him as hard as I could in the chest.  My foot slipped, not kicking him with the strength I hoped it would. 

“You bitch.
  All my suffering is because of you.  You know what day it is, or did you forget?”

I knew what day it was supposed to be; the most important day in a mother’s life.  At least that’s the day I wanted it to be.  Now it was a day overshadowed by a
proposal gone wrong.  He punched me in the gut and while I coughed and gasped, he strung my leg back up before standing up. 

“You’re going to make it right and give me the family
we
were meant to have.”  He was out of his mind.  “I know how you like it.”  My chest grew tight at his words.  “I can’t believe you let that dirty, tattooed cop have his way with you in his truck.” 

What? 
Realization dawned on me.  It
was
him
that I saw that night across the street.  He must have followed us.  Cal and I had made love in the front seat of his truck, like a couple of teenagers, in our favorite spot under the stars. 

“How could you let him defile you in that manner?”

He pulled his pants down before straddling me on the bed, talking about teaching me a lesson.  Taking my free hand, I clawed and smacked at him, but it was pointless.  I was no match for him.  My body started to ache in places that I wasn’t aware of before.  The bile began to rise in my throat as he licked my neck and pinned my free hand above my head and found his way inside me.

“You’ll give me a baby, Jane.  And you’ll forget about that filthy cop, my pleasure will be your only concern.  I have everything you want and need right here.” 

Closing my eyes, I concentrated on the nausea rising, not his body moving in me, and willed myself to vomit.  When it came, I aimed as best I could, and I got the desired effect.  We were both covered in it.  Derek jumped out and off my body, ranting in complete disbelief.  Immediately reaching to my other wrist, he caught me and tied me back up before I could free myself. 

“You just won’t learn, but you will.
”  I looked to him before everything went black again.

~ CALVIN ~

She wasn’t at our place and hadn’t been there, that I could tell.  The few belongings she’d moved in were still there.  I hoped and prayed my instinct was correct and that she was at her parent’s house.  They would be leaving straight for the airport after the party, so at least we’d have some privacy to talk.  I pulled up in the drive after executing the gate code, oblivious that I should’ve been concerned about the parked car sporting a California license plate.  James had just called and I ignored his call.

The front door was unlocked and I called her name as I made my way inside.  I couldn’t hear anything
, except the faint ring of music in the air coming from upstairs.  Taking the stairs two at a time I made my way to the second floor.  Something felt off.  I couldn’t place it, but I ignored it as I headed to her bedroom.  The music was so loud now that I didn’t think she could possibly hear me knock on the door, but I didn’t want to just barge in.

“Jane, are you there?  I’m sorry.  Can I come in?” 

I knocked again, hearing no response, only the music.  I leaned the weight of my body against the wall next to her door and waited far too long before knocking again.  This time I tried the knob to find it locked.  The feeling of dread washed over me like a tidal wave.  All I could think about was my dad finding Cassidy, all those years ago, after she swallowed a bottle of pills.  This time I banged so hard on the door that the hinges rattled. 

“Jane, if you don’t open this doo
r I’m going to break it down.”   There was still no response.  My instincts took over and I kicked open the door. 

What I found was nowhere near what I expected to find.  Jane was being used as a shield in front of someone I didn’t recognize.  She was bloodied and battered, only in
a shirt and she was gagged.  Tears streamed down her cheeks.  Her captor was pointing a gun at me.  I wasn’t prepared for this situation.  Predisposition to this situation had me reaching for my gun,
MY GUN
, but I was off duty and there was no gun for me to protect myself with.  I didn’t even have my vest on.  I was way out of my league, unprotected, and completely off guard, with only my training left to guide me.  Pulling Jane tighter to him, as he backed up, he knocked the iPod off its dock, which in turn ceased the music. 

There was no turning back now. 
“Dude, let her go.  I don’t know what you want, but she can’t give it to you.”  

“Dude.
  I want
her
and I have her and she already gave it to me.  She was mine long before you came along, and she’s mine again.  She’s going home, with me.”

I stood puzzled for a moment
before his meaning took root inside me.  “You must be Derek.” 

Nodding he said, “
The Cop.”

How did he know who I was? 
“I am.  Derek, you need to let her go.  This will go better for you if you let her go.  Backup is already on the way.  You’re not getting out of here with her.”  I lied through my teeth hoping he wouldn’t call my bluff.  But one thing was for sure, he wasn’t getting out of here with her unless it was over my dead body.

“There’s no backup coming.  You had no idea what you were walking into.  You can’t bullshit a
bullshitter.  Besides, tell him Janey, you’re coming with me.”  She whimpered through that gag.

I didn’t let on that he was right as I continued to examine Jane with my eyes.  The more I saw the angrier I got. 
Beginning to understand why she didn’t tell me about Derek, besides his name and that it had ended badly.  I guessed that it
ending badly
was the understatement of the year.  He didn’t look like he was going to give Jane up willingly and neither was I. 

I took a step toward them and he shook the gun violently in my direction before placing it on Jane’s temple.  “Don’t push it, Cop.
  I’m willing to kill for what’s mine.”

“You’re not going to hurt her.  You love her, right?”  He started breaking down before my eyes. 
I could see it in him.  Something was off and he was beginning to panic.  I had him or so I thought. 

“She’s my, my entir
e, w-world.  S-she just le-left.  I waited for her to come back.  We were starting a family together.”

“Ok, I understand.  Why don’t we sit down and t
alk about this, without the gun, Derek.”  What the hell did that mean?  They were starting a family together? 

Instead of
seeing reason he grew more agitated.  We both heard a faint noise coming from downstairs.  He was distracted.  I took the opportunity to gain the upper hand.  Lunging toward them both, I attempted to push Jane out of the way, but before I could get my hands on the gun I felt a burn in my chest.  Warmth flowed over me.  Staggering backward, I collapsed to my knees before realization hit me that I was shot.  I surely fucked this one up.  Jane had managed to pull the gag from her mouth and her screams were the last thing I heard.

~ JANE ~

When I woke, I had been gagged, and he was pulling me off the bed.  My whole body was crying out in pain.  I was somewhat aware of banging, that wasn’t coming from that incessant song that was still playing.  Cal’s voice registered with me and before I knew it, my door was thrown open and Cal came barreling through the doorway.  Derek pulled me violently against him as he and Cal exchanged words.  Soon I was cognizant of the cool steel of his gun pressed against my forehead.  The music stopped, but all I could hear was the pounding in my head. 

Cal attempted to talk Derek down, but I could barely make out the words they exchanged with one another.  Slowly, I became more lucid
.  Unexpectedly, a noise came from some other part of the house, and Cal lunged at us before the gun went off.  In the scuffle, I managed to pull the gag from my mouth as Cal stumbled back.  The color drained from his face as his beautiful blue sweater became covered in blood.  I wasn’t sure if he realized he was shot or not.  I tried pulling free from Derek, but my attempt was wasted.

Cal had fallen to his back, clinging to his chest
, as I pleaded with Derek to let me help him.  He seemed to be in shock that he’d just shot a man and dragged me out of the room, the gun still in his hand.  He was pulling me down the hall as I begged him to let me call help for Cal.  I think he was considering letting me help when James’ booming voice over took us.  We were at the top of the stairs and James was in the foyer, holding his own gun.