Read High Desert Barbecue Online
Authors: J. D. Tuccille
W
hich is to say, the dust of the official’s exit from the unveiling party was still settling over the assembled attendees.
T
hat duress hadn’t been hard to come by. The shit storm that Scott had so fervently wished for that day in Sycamore Canyon, many months earlier, had quickly brewed.
A
nd events … well … events were moving along in sometimes strange ways.
“
Hey Lani! Guys!”
T
he trio turned to greet Bill and Emma.
“
So … ” Bill tried—unsuccessfully—to suppress a smirk. “I just want to thank you folks for sparing us from a dastardly drug conspiracy.”
E
mma jabbed him in the ribs.
“
That’s not funny, dear. Not everybody appreciates your sense of humor.”
S
cott smiled and shrugged.
“
That’s what the feds have decided. And who are we to contradict them? Especially with the potential for some very interesting felony charges hanging over our heads if we object to our new status as heroes against …
sigh
… narco-terrorism.”
B
ill nodded.
“
Yeah. I’m sorry about that. Speaking of felony charges … That Ray fellow—the one you tagged in the butt—looks to be facing the most time in prison. Because of the dope they found on him, they’ve tapped him and the dead guy as some sort of drug kingpins in charge of a marijuana-growing operation.”
R
ollo suddenly began staring at the clouds.
“
The feds insist he planned on burning down Williams and Flagstaff, maybe to make room for a huge marijuana plantation,” Bill continued. “They aren’t too clear on that point.”
“
Doesn’t matter if it’s clear or even if it makes sense,” Scott said. “It’ll be a long time before he sees the light of day again.”
“
The only person sticking by him is that stocky girl,” Emma chimed in. “I don’t remember her name.”
S
cott snorted as he recalled Rena.
“
She’s facing charges herself, though, and I don’t think her talk of a mammalian conspiracy is doing him any good.”
H
e grimaced.
“
Not that I give a damn. After what we went through, anything—” He placed his hand on Rollo’s shoulder and looked around to make sure none of the other scattered unveiling attendees were too close. “Anything that puts them away is fine by me. Even really smelly ditch weed planted in a psycho’s backpack by my buddy in a burst of inspiration.”
“
It wasn’t ditch weed,” Rollo protested. “It was just old.”
“
It stank.”
R
ollo rolled his eyes.
B
ill sighed.
“
Yeah, but we could use that weird little tree-hugger couple. That video we took went viral.” He put his arm around Emma. “I am so glad that my better half always carries a couple of release forms with her. When those two get out, they’ll have some money waiting for them.”
E
mma smiled.
“
We’ve build a whole new Website around eco-erotica. It’s doing very well.” She glanced at Lani and Scott. “We’re always looking for new performers.”
“
I’m very happy for you,” Lani said, a bit abruptly. “Good luck with that!”
“
Maybe if I lost some weight…?,” Rollo ventured.
B
ill just shook his head.
“
Of course,” said Rollo, returning to the main topic. “We never touched the bigwigs.”
“
That floral supremacy freak is still on the loose,” said Lani.
S
cott shrugged.
“
The last I saw of him, he was racing into the desert as fast as his legs could take him. But I suppose he had to stop some time. And I doubt he’s any less crazy for the experience.”
“
Nope,” added Scott. “And that Forest Service guy Ray told us about … Van Kamp? He’s doing just fine as head of the investigation into the drug plot.” He made scare quotes in the air with his fingers at the mention of the supposed narcotics conspiracy.
“
Let’s not forget,” answered Bill. “He’s bringing in experts from the timber industry to help manage the public lands while he gets to the bottom of the drug plot.” He slapped his thigh. “You know somebody is making a killing on
that
little scam.”
L
ani grabbed Scott’s right arm and raised it in the air.
“
Honey …” Scott cautioned.
“
Oh, tell them,” she chirped, releasing his arm.
S
cott shrugged.
“
I sort of figured the feds would find a way to grease their buddies’ palms, and their own, with this situation. Why let a serious crisis go to waste, right? So I took a chance and put my remaining money into stocks.” He spread his hands. “I figured it would be either mining or timber. I bet on timber.”
E
mma chuckled and shook her head.
“
Hey, if I’m going to be screwed, I want to get paid.”
“
You know we don’t disagree, son,” said Bill.
T
here was silence for a long moment. Then Rollo leaned forward.
“
Remember that day we met?”
S
cott nodded.
“
We have a lot more tires to slash.”
Chapter 78
I
n the grass, not too far from the trailhead, Rupert Greenfield lay prone, watching the proceedings through his binoculars and grinding his teeth in a rhythmic motion.
“
Dog lovers!,” he snarled. “I
hate
dog lovers.”
H
e turned to his companion, sprawled near him and poking listlessly in the dirt.
“
We’re not done, you know. The plants still need us. We have a lot of work to do.”
“
I know.”
G
reenfield returned to peering through his binoculars. His jaws continued to work.
“
We need to gather more of the old crew. You get on that.”
“
OK.”
“
And, Happy, I need more supplies. I’m running out of everything out here.”
“
Henry.”
“
What?”
“
Not Happy. Just Henry.”
“
Whatever. Just make sure you get me a hat and some jerky.”
About the Author
J
.D. Tuccille’s provocative and often witty columns on hotly debated topics including the environment, land use and forest management have appeared in publications including the
Arizona Republic
, the
Denver Post
, the
Providence Journal
and the
Washington Times
. The former editor of a popular civil liberties website, Tuccille has commented on current issues on both television and radio, and has been quoted saying unkind things about politicians and government policies in the pages of the
New York Times
,
Salon
and other publications.
T
uccille is an enthusiastic explorer of the American Southwest’s deserts, mountains and forests. He lives in rural northern Arizona with his wife, Wendy, a pediatrician, their son, Anthony, and their two dogs.
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