High Strung (Power Station Book 1) (38 page)

“So you don’t know anything?” Troy gave me a cocky look, like he knew something that maybe I should.

“What should I fucking know, Troy?” I looked him dead in the eye, this wasn’t playtime, and if she is in any kind of danger or trouble, I didn’t give a fuck what promises I’d made about staying clear of her. All bets were off.

“Just thought it was interesting that she’d recently start seeing someone, and you hadn’t mentioned it.”

It’s like someone pulled the fucking pin on a grenade. Even though I hadn’t been drunk, I was immediately sober, my reflexes razor sharp. I couldn’t even hear the music anymore, the backdrop of the club completely off my grid.

“How recently?”

“Two days ago. I have it on a good authority that your girl is fucking miserable. And about to make a mistake with an asshole, ’cause for some messed-up reason, she doesn’t think she has a choice.”

Seemed like pretty specific intel for a dude who played drums for a fucking rock band. So, unless Troy had been moonlighting as the new
Gossip Girl
of the Upper East Side, he had been swapping late night whispers with one Megan Winters.

“You’ve been talking to Megs?” The fucking smile on his face was enough of a yes. “Please tell me it’s not that motherfucker she works with.”

“Bingo. Give the boy a prize.”

“Troy, don’t fuck with me. What did Megs say, and do not paraphrase for my benefit. I want you to be real clear about it.”

My heartbeat had jazzed up to double what it had been clocking before. The thought of Ash unhappy made the blood ring in my ears.

“She’s given up, Dan. Lost the fight in her. Decided she’ll settle for mediocre, and that douchebag she’s dating, she doesn’t even like him let alone love him.”

That’s all I needed to hear. Shit was already in motion, and I couldn’t stop it if I tried. “You know where she is?”

“I do, but before I give you that information I need to know what you plan on doing with it.”

I fished my phone out of my pocket and texted TJ to bring the car around. We were out of here.

“There’s no plan about it. I love her and I’m getting her back.”

“I’m really glad you
said yes.” Rob gave me a satisfied smile and gentle hug as he walked me to his car.

Megs had given him the stare down at the door, not even pretending to try and like him and given me the eye roll when he showed up with a single red rose. It was cliché and maybe a little boring but still sweet nonetheless.

I nodded, not able to think of anything to say in response.
“I’m really glad I said yes, too,”
wasn’t coming out of my mouth. I was with him and I was smiling and that was about as
glad
as I was going to get tonight. Though I really hoped this production we were heading to didn’t bore me to tears. I never did fake enthusiasm well.

“This is me.” The lights flashed on a navy Chevrolet Impala. It had just been cleaned. The fact I noticed shiny chrome on the car, but couldn’t tell you what my date was wearing was already a red flag. Damn Dan Evans. No man would ever compare.

“Great.” My smile tightened as I mentally kicked my own ass. I’d gone exactly ten minutes without thinking about my ex-boyfriend. We were already off to such a stellar start.

Rob opened the car door and I ducked inside, trying to calculate how many dates it would take to convince myself this was fun. Maybe I need to reward myself with chocolate, build up some learned psychological response. Go on a date with Rob, treat myself a box of Godiva. My mood improved just thinking about the promise of the gold box, so maybe it was a viable option.

The drive was quiet and slightly awkward. He didn’t seem nervous at all, which annoyed me a little. He didn’t have to be so cocky. I hadn’t agreed to sleep with him yet, and that sure as hell wouldn’t be happening tonight.

“Are you hungry? We can grab a bite to eat before the show.”

“Sure.”

What I meant to say was, no, I’ve changed my mind. I don’t think this is going to work out, so let’s get me that box of chocolate and I’ll get back to my solitude. Maybe I could wait until intermission, and fake a headache. That was about as cliché as the rose he’d brought me, but I figured we were reading from the same playbook, so not entirely unexpected. I still got chocolate though, right? Half dates most definitely counted.

Dinner didn’t yield any surprises. A quaint little café near the theater. Trendy and overpriced. Nuevo French cuisine. It helped me learn about myself that I really didn’t like French food. Who knew? Well at least the date hadn’t been a total loss - the lesson in self-discovery and the promise of Godiva rewards.

The conversation was just as contrived as the meal I hadn’t been able to finish. Rob asked about college, family, and my hometown, but it felt more like a survey than actual interest. I reciprocated, even nodded and smiled in all the right places. Proof the performance had started well and truly before the scheduled show. I was so fucking bored.

A short walk later and we were standing in front of a small playhouse theater, and I was looking for a sharp object I could stab myself with. Even the allure of Godiva wasn’t cutting it. My planned headache replaced by a mid-performance bathroom dash, where I’d-obviously-eaten-something-bad-and-needed-to-go-home. It’s not like it couldn’t happen. People got food poisoning all the time.

Rob put his arm around my waist as he walked through the doorway and suddenly the idea of being sick wasn’t so much of a hypothetical. My stomach gurgled uncomfortably. There was a lot to be said for psychosomatic. Megs could totally do a case study on me.

“Hey, babe, I think you’re lost,” a voice whispered into my ear. “Unless you are looking for douchebags, and then you’ve totally come to the right place.”

“Dan?” I turned around to see him standing behind me.

He looked good. A little more tired than usual, like maybe he hadn’t sleep, but other than that, he was perfect. He was wearing a pair of jeans, heavy boots and Black Flag T-shirt, his inked arms on display. My mind barely registered the fact he wasn't wearing a jacket. I was too overwhelmed to be standing before him. He didn’t even flinch at the attention he was attracting, not sure if it was because he looked out of place, or if the crowd had guessed who he was. He didn’t even acknowledge them as he moved in closer, getting so close to me I could feel my skin tingle. My stomach doing some Olympic-inspired flip as he refused to take his eyes off me.

“Listen, Dan. Let’s not make scene.” Rob tried to step in.
Oh, he was still here?
“Ashlyn doesn’t need the drama right now. Why don’t you give her some space?”

“See, hearing stuff like that convinces me even more what an asshole you are.” Dan turned to Rob. “You know nothing about her, and you know even less about what she needs. So how about you don’t embarrass yourself any further, and you let me make shit right with my girl.”

Hearing him call me
his girl
knocked the air right out of my lungs. I wanted to be mad at him. I wanted to yell at him and tell how much he hurt me. But I also wanted to wrap myself around him, and lose myself in his kisses, until nothing else existed. If it was a vote, the last option was most definitely winning.

“Dan.” I found that I could actually open my mouth, and words showed up to the party.

“I’m not…” There was no way I could finish that sentence, not convincingly anyway. “Maybe we…” Nope, that wasn’t going to work either. “What are you doing here?”

“Doing what I should have done weeks ago.” He threaded his arm around my waist, pulling me closer, and my body of its own volition moved against him. It was like I had no control of it. I wanted to stop but I just couldn’t. It. Felt. So. Good. We ignored the crowd and moved outside the theater. I left Rob open-mouthed and red-faced in the lobby. A better person would have been more concerned about him—my date—but I wasn’t that person. Not today.

I followed Dan silently into the alley that separated the old brick buildings. I thought if I spoke this would evaporate, so I kept my mouth shut, needing to see where he would lead me. The Suburban’s flashing lights marked the end of the alley. Troy was leaning against the doorframe of the truck until he saw us, and then he disappeared into the dark cabin, leaving us relatively alone.

“I’m sorry, Ashlyn. I’m sorry I was an asshole, and I didn’t tell you the whole truth. I should never have kept shit from you. You deserved better than that but I don’t regret helping you. I don’t regret giving you an opportunity to be happy, even if it meant I would lose you.”

“Dan—”

I wanted to speak but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say. Whether I would ask him to keep going or ask him to stop. But he took that choice out of my hands.

“No, wait. Let me get this out.” He held his hand gently over my mouth. “You don’t want to be with me, I’ll hate it but I’ll accept it. What I won’t fucking accept is you settling for anything less than perfect. Being with
him
’cause you think you should, ’cause it conforms to this idea in your head, this plan? It’s bullshit and I won’t let you do it yourself.”

“Dan—”

“Ash, I’m not done.” He cradled my face with his hands. “I don’t deserve you. I never did. I’ve fucked a lot of women, some I didn’t even know their names. It was something to do, a distraction, and I never really thought about the consequences. I can’t change what I did, or who I was back then, but I can only tell you that now, that man no longer exists. I never thought in a million years I’d meet someone whom I wanted to be with forever, so I never cared enough about what I was bringing to the table. I never cared enough to stop myself from giving it away. There’s only one piece of me that all those girls I’ve slept with have never had. And that’s my heart. Only you, and whatever happens now, that shit is not going to change. I know I can’t quit loving you even if I tried. I’ve been trying, and I’m not even close to being able to stop.

“I love you. I am in love with you, and I’m going to love you until the end of time. We’re not done. We’ll never be done. There isn’t anything in this world that will convince me otherwise, and I’ll do whatever I need to do to make this right. ’Cause now that I’ve got you in my arms, I ain’t never letting you go.”

He brushed his finger gently along my jaw. Being that close to him, having him touch me, and to be intoxicated by his delicious scent, it overwhelmed me. I knew I was fighting a losing battle, my body had stopped fighting the minute I had heard his sexy voice. Looking into his beautiful eyes, seeing how much this had hurt him and how much he still loved me, tore away at any of my remaining defenses.

“Shut up and kiss me already.” I had barely got the words out before he sealed my lips with his. The world fell away beneath me. Nothing else existed. Just us in that perfect moment where the man I couldn’t live without, couldn’t live without me. And I loved him. So much. So whatever we needed to work through, we would get past, because being apart wasn’t an option. We’d tried it. We both failed. We belonged together.

I had spent my life up until this point planning for perfection, avoiding the extraordinary, and playing it safe. I thought it would make me happy and give me a good life. What I couldn’t have planned for, was meeting a man who was so exceptional it would redefine my expectations.

Life isn’t about the perfect plan. It’s about the perfect storm that engulfs you when you’re busy living it.

The thank you part is always the hardest because I’m always worried I’m going to leave someone out. I am lucky to be surrounded by an amazing support team, one that makes all of this worthwhile. There aren’t enough words to express my gratitude. I love you fiercely, and without limits, and here is my humble attempt in acknowledging how you changed my world.