Highland Grace (25 page)

He put his hand over hers to halt it’s
movement, but she jerked it away. “They were
clients
, not
lovers
,” he said. “At least not in the way that you mean,
and I was very particular. I kept only a few at a time, Jesslyn,
and they are most all securely settled in the king’s court, fear
not. The likelihood of you ever meeting another of them is almost
naught,” Bao said.

She looked up once more into his eyes and
shook her head, then she turned and walked away from him, her arms
crossed over her chest once more. Turning back to face him, she
continued, “I saw the tower chamber with its wine, its pillows, its
candles. A veritable lover’s bower. And she had you again, it
seems, in the stables just afterward.
Twice
she had you
before…before you and I—
argh!
” She swung around, turning her
back on him.

“We didn’t couple in the tower chamber, I
swear it,” Bao said. “The woman tricked me into believing you’d
requested my presence there and then she followed me.” Sighing, he
scrubbed his fingers across his brow and squeezed his eyes shut.
“She wanted me, that much is true,” he finally said. “But I rebuked
her, rejected her advances. Then—then she made an offer that could
not be refused.” He walked over to Jesslyn and turned her around to
face him. “She held a deed of ownership, Jesslyn. With Branwenn as
the property transferred. Signed by Jamison Maclean and Lara’s
stepbrother Giric when Branwenn was only sennights old. But Callum
came upon us before—”

Jesslyn whirled around, turning her back on
him. “Aye, Lara always has
something
which will entice my
husbands from their vows.”

“What mean you, your
husbands
?”

“Tell me, is she as adventurous in bed as
Graeme once said she was?”

“
Graeme
broke faith with you?” he
asked unbelievingly. Graeme, the standard upon which all others
were compared? The ideal of all that was manly and perfect in
husbandly conduct? The man Bao had secretly feared he’d never match
up to in Jesslyn’s regard? All his hopes evaporated. Just like
that. And he could swear the hammering in his head was the sound of
the last nail in his crucifix.

“Where is this deed?”

“Burned.”

“Convenient.”

“Callum can vouch for its existence.”

“Mmm. Still, we’ve not yet been wed two moons
and in that time you have broken your vows of marriage to me with
as many women.”

“Jesslyn…about that time in the wood—”

She whirled around to face him. “Nay, I’ll
not hear more lies and excuses. I no longer want to be wed to
you.”

“It wasn’t as it s—”—She spun around and
hurried toward her bedchamber—“Jesslyn, please!”

In the doorway, she turned. There was naught
in her eye, neither anger, nor sadness, only resignation. “Just
go.”

Bao’s shoulders slumped in defeat, but he
nodded and turned away. With swift strides, he departed the
cottage, quietly closing the door.

* * *

Jesslyn wandered into her chamber and lay
down on her bed. Twining her fingers together over her belly, she
looked at the rafters above as threads of the words she and Bao had
exchanged went through her mind. Mayhap she was being stubborn in
her unwillingness to forgive Bao his caresses of another for the
sake of his sister’s freedom, but no matter how she tried, she
simply could not feel comfortable with him again. Not when she also
knew that he and Lara had lain together—lord knew how many
times—prior. And not after having dealt before with a husband who
found that same woman’s caresses far superior to her own.

Thankfully, none of her other family knew of
Lara and Graeme’s affair—not even Daniel—until today, when she’d
told Bao. ‘Twas something that had happened not long into her and
Graeme’s union, when he’d left their cottage after an argument.
He’d accused her of being too timid with him, of being too rigid in
her understanding of when and where a man and his wife should make
love and she’d accused him of being a deviant for wanting to mate
with her on the same table from which they ate. He’d accused her of
being cold, unwomanly—even said he’d wed her only for the sake of
his bairn. She rolled on her side and bit down hard on her lower
lip. How long would it be before Bao complained of just the same
with her? A moon? Two moons?

Would he storm out as Graeme had? Not return
until early the next morn, leaving her to wonder and worry, as
Graeme had? Would he lay down beside her, smelling of another
woman, of venery, of stale ale, as Graeme had?

A dry chuckle escaped her throat. Oh, how
relieved that younger Jesslyn had been when her husband had
returned that morn. She’d even begun to apologize until she’d
gotten a whiff of him. Then she wouldn’t let him sleep until he
told her where he’d been. He’d finally relented and told her about
Lara, the letter he’d written breaking their affair, and the
woman’s subsequent arrival back on her uncle’s holding in order to
keep their relationship going with the promise of a
lieutenancy.

He’d sworn it had been a singular
event—something that would never occur again. That the cruel words
he’d said to her earlier had been said in anger and that he was
happy to be wed to her. That he loved her.

Jesslyn let out a whimper and covered her
eyes, tormented as she recalled the vicious words they’d exchanged
then. Their earlier quarrel had been naught to what had taken place
afterward. What had begun as a dispute between two people trying to
learn to live together had, with her discovery of his faithless
actions, turned into a fight that had had the ability to break the
bonds of their union for evermore.

She’d almost left him, even gotten as far as
packing a satchel and wrapping the babe in a warmer blanket for
traveling. But, he’d stopped her and she’d let him. Nay, she’d been
too young, too unsure of her ability to care for herself and a
bairn, and too unwilling to leave Alleck without a mother to care
for him.

So she’d kept the peace. And, after a time,
when she’d believed he’d truly broken the affair and devoted
himself only to winning her love back, she’d forced herself to
forgive the transgression.

Except, he hadn’t broken the affair. And how
her insides cringed now, how she squirmed to remember how he’d
gulled her into believing she was enough for him. How devotedly
she’d served him, cared for him. Loved him.

But now, with Bao, she wasn’t about to do the
same. This time, she was older, wiser, a lady who’d been forced by
circumstances to fend for herself—and done well at it. Aye, she’d
not forgive this time; she didn’t have to.

* * *

When Bao arrived back at the keep, he made a
direct dash up the stairs to his bedchamber and locked himself in.
Fate—everything—was against him. He paced over to the hearth and
poked at the fire, then fell into the chair nearby and gazed,
unseeing, at the gray-blue sky outside the window.

He was ill-prepared for this. What did he
have to offer her that might persuade her to stay with him? He was
naught but a soldier and a whore. Aye, he had coin. And, because of
her, he had this keep as well. But what were they against her
disgust of him?

To push, or not to push? ‘Twas a thin line he
walked, with snapping, raving monsters on either side. He bolted
from his chair and grabbed the few items of his that hung on their
hooks, then tossed them in his chest. He was just gathering the
items off the washstand when a knock came on the door.

“Enter!”

“What’s this? Are you leaving? Why? What
happened?” his grandmother said as she shut the door behind
her.

“’Tis a long tale, and one I won’t burden you
with, but aye, I’m traveling back to Perth forthwith.”

Her gaze grew keen as she regarded him in
silence for a moment. “Where is your wife?”

He turned back to his packing. “She’s living
back at her cottage. She’ll be up here soon to gather Alleck as
well, I’m sure.”

“I believe I shall go have a little visit
with her.”

“Don’t, please. She will not appreciate the
company just now.”

“Oh, I shan’t stay long.” She turned him
around to face her with a hand on his arm. “And you cannot leave,
you know. Have you forgot our dread of siege by Branwenn’s royal
kin?”

Bao’s hands, full of sundries, stopped
midair. “Blood of Christ!”

She went up on tiptoes and kissed him on his
cheek. “G’day. I’ll see you in an hour or two.”

* * *

Bao remained in his chamber, awaiting his
grandmother’s return. It was foolish, mayhap even insane, but still
a last remaining ember of hope in his chest refused to die out. His
grandmother was a persuasive woman. She might be able to turn
around Jesslyn’s decision to leave him. And that was all he needed.
Just a crumb of her willingness. He could build upon that, he was
sure of it.

When the knock came on the door, he jogged
over and opened it. “Did she tell you why she left? Does she still
insist on staying in the cottage?”

His grandmother sighed and nodded as she
handed him her mantle. “Aye, lad. She refused to stir from that
place, no matter what good reasons I gave her to do so.”

Bao stood quiet and still. Folding his arms
over his chest, he bowed his head in resignation. After a moment of
silent contemplation, he said, “Does she have all that she
requires?”

She walked over to the chair by the hearth
and sat down creakily. “Aye, as far as I could see,” she said.
“Tho’ ‘twould be best to make sure she’s a large enough peat stack
available to her right away. The nights are even more bitter with
cold than are the days.”

“Aye, ‘twill be done.” He moved to the door
and flagged down one of the servants, then gave him the order to
get the deed accomplished. Afterward, he strode to the stool
opposite his relative and lowered himself onto the seat. Leaning
forward with his forearms on his thighs, he said, “What am I to do?
How can I allow her to stay there on her own in this weather while
she carries my babe in her belly?” Pointing to the window, he
continued, “Even now the snow drifts pile high against the curtain
wall, and once the sun has set, the cold will pierce like a dirk,
straight to the bone. The cottage will not hold heat well and that
cannot be healthy for either her or our babe.”

“Aye, but the lass is adamant. She’ll not
live here with you another moment longer. Those were her precise
words, as I remember.”

“I swear to you I did not break my vows to
her, Grandmother.” He jumped to his feet and began to pace. “But, I
would have. For Branwenn, I would have.” He lowered his head into
his hands.

“Callum was right when he called his wife an
adder,” Lady Maclean said coldly, her heart aching as she watched
her grandson anguish over his predicament.

Lowering his hands to settle on his hips, he
looked over at her. “I shouldn’t have told you of that afterward,”
he said sheepishly.

She shrugged, ignoring his unease. “She’s the
devil’s own, I trow. And my poor, dear Callum is yoked, like some
miserable ox, to her for life.”

She stood and walked over to him. After
giving him a long look, she said, “You asked me before what you
should do, and now I will answer: You must not let one night pass
with the two of you housed in separate places. And, since she is
set on staying in the cottage, there too, shall you reside as
well.” She turned then and walked back to her chair. Sitting down,
she continued, “I think it best you know that I put her to bed
before I left. Her back was aching, I could tell, and that is not a
good sign at this stage in her childing. Not a good sign at
all.”

It felt as if strong hands crushed his
throat. He swiveled around and jogged to the door. “I’ll retrieve
Alleck once I check on her.”

“No need. She sleeps peacefully.”

Bao halted and turned to look at his
grandmother.

“Get the lad first and be gone to your new
dwelling,” she said.

When her grandson was gone, Lady Maclean
leaned back and smiled. That last took a bit of nimbleness of mind.
Aye, she’d put Jesslyn to bed, and aye ‘twas for an ache, but not
one that was a danger to her babe.

If all went as she planned, the two of them
would be back at the keep, back in each other’s embrace in no
time.

* * *

Branwenn watched Alleck as he sat on the back
of his calves, clearly fascinated with the wee babe, Nora. “Her
grip’s so strong! And her legs and arms are so fat!” he exclaimed.
“But her skin is very soft.” He giggled with glee. “An’ see how
merry she looks with that red hair standin’ straight up and no
teeth!” He looked up with wide eyes at Lady MacGregor. “She’s
grinnin’ at me!” he said. Looking back down at Nora once again, he
said, “But she needs to learn not to slobber so much.”

“Nay, lad,” Lady MacGregor said, “the babe
only needs to belch the wind from its belly.”

The lad’s shoulders sagged in disappointment.
“Are you sure?”

Branwenn, too, looked to the other lady for
confirmation, since this was all so new and wonderful to her as
well.

Lady MacGregor nodded sagely, lifting Nora
from her cradle and holding the babe up to her shoulder before
beginning to lightly rub and tap the babe’s back. “Aye. She’s a bit
young yet to be smiling. Tho’ I’m sure, in only a wee time she’ll
give you one in earnest.”

Nora burped loudly and a bit of her earlier
meal settled on the cloth Lady MacGregor had placed over her
shoulder.

“Eewww!” Alleck said, scrunching up his face
at the sight.

Branwenn agreed, but prudently held her
tongue and her visage still.

Just then, her brother, Bao, opened the door
of the solar and briskly walked inside. “Alleck, your mother wishes
for you to remove to the cottage where we’ll be dwelling for the
next while.”