Hilda - Snow White revisited (8 page)

The dwarfs, except Doc, were coming home. A song
came from their house, and they all looked at each other in
surprise. As they came in, they saw Snow-White in the kitchen,
singing out loud as she was preparing an incredible amount of
food.

"Hello, boys," Snow-White chimed, "I hope you
have a hunger like a bear, there is so much food!"

"What's up, Doc?", asked Happy as he found Doc
sitting on his chair, his glasses on the table in front of him and
clothes quite crumpled.

"Eh, what? Oh, nothing. Everything's fine, just
fine," Doc said, as a smile came on his face. "I gave Snow-White a
hand with some things. A hand, and... ehm.. we did well."

"Hah," Grumpy said, "and guess who got stuck
with the dirty work." He marched off to the bathroom. Just before
he reached the door, he turned and asked: "It's okay that I go
clean up, right?"

"Yeah, yeah," Doc said, waving his hand, "just
go. All of you."

Happy grabbed Sleepy by the sleeve, and they all
followed Grumpy into the bathroom. Sleepy looked a bit sad as he
was pulled along. Snow-White saw that and she grinned at one of the
pots on the stove.

As the group of six was in the bathroom for
quite a while, Snow-White got a bit worried as well as curious as
to what was going on in there. "Doc, shouldn't we go and check on
them?"

"Oh, no, they're big boys," Doc said, wiggling
his eyebrows, "they'll be out soon. Just bang on the door when
dinner's almost ready. And bang the door really loud."

"Oh, right. I think I can handle that,"
Snow-White said as she reached for a large spoon. She walked over
to the bathroom door, much to Doc's pleasure as he was a lover of
great vista's, and then Snow-White unleashed a few good bangs on
the door. "Come and get it!", she yelled. "Dinner's almost ready,
boys," she added in a sweet and gentle voice.

If things in the bathroom had not been quiet,
they would have been after that. Seconds elapsed. Then Grumpy
commented that one heart-attack a day would suffice, which probably
meant that they had gotten the message.

In a large field were many gnomes, happy with
their houses in place again. Quirrin was less happy. The gnomes had
handed him a restraining order, as his size was a threat to the
gnomish proportionally correct neighbourhood.

So, as everyone was more or less actively
considering their feelings, the day packed its bags over the small
kingdom, moved on as usual and turned off the lights. That way the
darkness would feel at home again during the night.

"Coloris ordinaris." This spell came from under
the blankets in Hilda's bedroom. During the chat with Baba Yaga,
about their recent activities and plans for the witches meeting, it
had suddenly occurred to her that she still hadn't taken the yellow
watercolour spell off the young witch in the village, and somehow
she had not gotten round to it. Now she had.

The day did not feel good to Hilda. Somehow she
felt kind of old, although she'd never admit that to anyone of
course. The wicked witch hauled herself out of the bed and shoved
her feet into her bunny-slippers. Then she opened the curtains and
looked out the window. "Urgh..."

"With some paint the world would look much
nicer. As would I," the house said.

"Oh. Shut. Up." Hilda had slight startup
problems this morning. She left her bedroom and headed for the
kitchen to make some tea. Halfway conscious she grabbed this and
that, and when the water was boiling she poured the steaming water
on the mix in her cup.

A whiff of it reached her nose. "Urgh. Why did I
put laurel in it..." Hilda rested her head in her hand for a few
moments. "Why do I always want to do this the regular way..." Then
she waved a finger and the cup contained what she recognised as
tea. "Better." She picked up the cup and had a sip. "Life," she
mumbled.

The wicked witch dragged herself to the door and
peeked at the wooden wall outside. There was no arrow. "No mail.
Good." Door closed, she sat herself down at the large black table,
playing with the cup. "If someone ever saw this...", she sighed,
poking the eye of one of the goldfish on the cup, the one over the
text that read "Cutest witch in town".

Luckily there was hardly a visitor coming to the
house, and if there was someone, they had no business in the
kitchen.

"I should get back to bed," Hilda grumbled. The
house kept quiet.

"I should check on the bitch queen," Hilda then
grumbled. "And the rest of the lot. Sometimes I get so fed up with
the whole bunch. I should get me a hut in a forest. On chicken
legs, like Babs has. That's so cool."

Hilda had seen the hut of Baba Yaga several
times and was severely impressed by its ingenuity. A simple round
hut on the outside, on four chicken legs, so it could move itself,
and the door and windows would always be facing the spot were
problems might arise from first. It was splendid in its
simplicity.

Hilda moved her chair a bit and waved at the new
mirror which came to life directly. "Show me the twat's
chambers".

The mirror had gotten to know Hilda's ways to
express herself. It displayed the chambers of the queen. The queen
was still in bed, Hilda saw with slight envy. The queen was not
alone in bed, either.

"Way to go, Walt," Hilda grinned, but as the
view changed she saw it was not the face of the king that rested on
the queen's bosom. "Figures. With an attitude like that," Hilda
snorted.

She kind of liked the king. He'd always been a
good guy, decent to the people, not too heavy on the taxes and
stuff like that. Hilda wrote up one more dislike for the queen. "If
she keeps this up I'm running out of slate."

Hilda changed the view to the house of the
dwarfs, to make sure that Snow-White was still okay.

The dwarfs, busy buggers, were already up and
running. Except Sleepy of course. Bashful, Hilda saw, came sneaking
up to Sleepy and splashed a cup of water over the snoring dwarf's
face. The only reaction it triggered was Sleepy licking his lips
and turning around.

Well, Hilda thought, they'll get him out
eventually. But where's the kid? Oh, there. Her own bed. That's
good.

The girl had a smile on her face, which pleased
Hilda. The dwarfs were certainly treating her right.

Grumpy, she saw, dragged Sleepy out of bed,
stuck a lunch package in his hands and they left the house, as Doc
said: "Quiet, boys, she's been real busy, she needs her sleep."

"Awhhh, so cute," Hilda smiled. She turned the
two goldfish on her cup towards the mirror. "Did you hear that?"
The goldfish refrained from comments.

"Right then. Onwards and upwards," Hilda said to
herself. She got up, put the cup away and went to change.

A voice in the kitchen said: "Sometimes she is
so dense..."

The other goldfish nodded. "No man for far too
long."

The queen, having gotten rid of her night-time
entertainment, headed out to have breakfast. She was up early as
she wanted to avoid her husband. Again. As usual. And as long as he
did not make any remarks about that, she'd be fine.

As she was eating, and it was a lot after the
strains of the last night- ehm the long walk home from the day
before, she demanded one of the servants to bring her four apples.
The apples had to be specific in shape and colouring. The man
nodded and hurried off. Being near the queen was not his favourite
passtime, and most of all it wasn't if she was in such a commanding
mood.

Quickly he returned with the four apples. The
queen checked them, muttered over them and then ignored the man.
Obviously he had done something right.

After breakfast, the queen got up, apples in
hand, and left for her chambers again. On the stairs that led up,
the king was coming down for breakfast.

"Good morning, dear wife," Walt said, "I hope
you slept well after the dreadful experiences of yesterday?"

"I hardly slept, if you really want to know,"
the mean queen said.

"Oh, poor dear," the king said, ready to hold
her in a comforting hug for a while.

The queen backed away from him, though. "I am
sorry, dear, being close and sweet is something I just can't bear
at the moment..." Quickly she fled up the stairs, leaving Walt with
his arms wide open staring after her.

"Oh, oh, oh," he then sighed, shaking his head.
As he walked down to the breakfast room, he worried about the
queen. She was so sensitive, he thought, and now that Snow-White
had disappeared it seemed to become even worse.

As he sat down at the table, the servant smiled.
"Regular, my king?"

Walt shook his head. "No, Bart, I'm not very
hungry. Just sausages, hash browns, macaroni and cheese and a
beer."

Bart worried. "Are you sure you are alright,
Sire? Should I warn the royal physician perhaps?"

"No, that's quite alright, Bart, I may have a
light snack later on."

The servant nodded and rushed off to arrange for
the king's food.

Snow-White woke up to find the seven other beds
empty and the boys gone. She stretched out, purring like a kitten.
Slowly she got up and walked to the kitchen, humming her favourite
song as she made some breakfast and a cup of cocoa. She knew that
things would be fine today. After a night that was good, the
following day could not be anything else.

Snow-White frowned as she noticed that the
watercontainer in the kitchen was nearly empty. That meant she'd
have to go out a few times with a bucket to refill it. She
shrugged. It would be fine.

After finishing and getting dressed, Snow-White
located the bucket and armed with that she looked out the window.
Nobody in sight. Not even fake neighbours. Fully empowered she
opened the door and walked down the small road to the well where
she filled the bucket and hauled it back to the kitchen.

"That's one," she said, happy. As the result of
the big splash was barely noticeable it dawned on her that it would
take more than just 'a few' buckets of water to fill the container.
"Bummer." But then, she had most of the day for that, and she could
find some change of mind in making the beds and getting dinner
going for the boys.

In the secret room of the queen there were many
things going on. She had candles burning under jars with
spluttering contents, there were small bottles with liquids in
unhealthy colours. On the far end of the table there was a bowl
with a large amount of yellow fog in it. And there were four
apples.

The apples were the most dangerous things in the
castle. Probably in the entire vicinity until you reached Hilda's
house. The queen was delighted at how well this all had worked. The
fruit had come out of the treatment perfect. Now they just needed
to cool down for a day and a night, and then they were ready to
fullfill their purpose. Okay, one would be enough, but you could
never tell.

Humming a tune she left the room, locked the
door and hung the key from a fine gold chain. The key itself ended
up between her breasts, which was perhaps the safest place for
something to be stored in the entire vicinity. Until you reached
Hilda's house.

Hilda decided it was time to go and do the
rounds. In her casual outfit, broom in hand, she stepped outside.
As she heard a woman call out: "Lady! Lady!", Hilda turned her
head. "Yes?"

"No. Not you. I am looking for my dog,
Lady."

"You are looking for your dog. Right. And for
that you come down MY street, yelling as if a Banshee is behind
you? Just to find your mutt?" Hilda started to feel that she should
indeed have stayed in bed.

"Lady is not a mutt," the woman said, feeling
very insulted. "It is a nice little dog from a good breed and she
is very dear to me and my family. Lady!"

Hilda let go of her broom, which remained
floating in the air. "Hey. Lady. Cut it out. Please. I am not
having a good hairday, and your yelling is pissing me off like
terrible."

"Why don't you help me find my dog, you...
person," the woman snapped at Hilda. "La-" The next sound that came
from her throat sounded like "gag".

Hilda waved her wand around a bit. "I like it
when it's quiet," she said to her broom. She walked to the woman.
"You know... have you ever heard the saying that it takes one to
know one?"

The woman, her mouth open and unable to say
something, nodded.

"Nice. Let's see if that is real, shall we?"
Hilda smiled broadly. It was her 'this does not bring something
good'-smile. She waved her wand again. "Okay. Now you tell me."

The woman had changed into a rather large, grey
schnautzer kind of dog. It wagged its tail and looked at Hilda with
high hopes.

"Get lost, you tramp!", Hilda yelled, stomping
her foot. The dog took off. In silence.

The wicked witch returned to her broom and got
on it. "I like it so much when it's quiet..." She made the broom
rise and flew off.

Snow-White had no idea of what her stepmother
was doing. Nor what Hilda was doing. Instead, she walked to the
well for the next time. The container was now visibly filling up,
which was good. Her back was starting to kill her, which was not
good.

She threw down the bucket and rubbed her palms.
Her hands were hurting from all the walking up and down with the
heavy bucket.

"Why, hello," a gentle voice behind her said,
"and what is a pretty woman like you doing, carrying water?"

Snow-White flushed as she saw a handsome young
man on a white horse looking at her. From the expression on his
face it was apparent that he liked what he saw. Quickly she messed
with her hair, to try and get that in shape and form a abit. "Hello
yourself, why is a handsome man like you peeking at girls that
carry water?"

"Well, hello, I was just passing by, on the road
to new adventures and undiscovered horizons, and I was thirsty. And
here is this well, so I thought, oh well..."