Hilda - The Challenge (6 page)

"Is that so? And what was- oh, I see. You
thought dishonourable things of me." He winked at her.

"Yes. I did. Not sure if I should still do. I
don't trust people just because they tell me to."

"Smart attitude, Hilda. I hope you believe me
when I say you look charming?"

Hilda glared at him. "I look crumpled. And a
mess. And you should have said so last night."

"I was going to, Hilda, but you did not let
me. You were the one that said I should not look at you, which
brought up the change of subject."

The wicked witch was caught in the corner and
she knew it. She whispered a spell to the cup. Then she held it out
and asked: "Can I have some more tea?"

As William poured her tea, the house
announced: "There is an archer coming to the door."

Only seconds later there was a knock on the
door that the archer had come to.

Hilda put down her cup and went to open said
door, greeting the archer with: "What?"

"Here is a note for you, honourable witch."
He held up a piece of paper. "And we would like our arrows back,
please."

The witch muttered something under her
breath. Then she flipped up her wand and made the basket with some
two hundred arrows float to the archer, landing the basket in his
arms and him consequently on his ass on the floor. "There you go."
She slammed the door shut and returned to the table, from where
William had witnessed the entire scene.

With a grim face she stared at the note.
"Rats," she said, crumpled the paper into a ball and tossed it on
her plate.

"Big problems?", William asked.

"No. About rats bugging someone. Do I look
like fucking pest-control? One of those things that gets sent to
every witch in the area. There's always a sucker that will fly out
and help. And that's not me."

William drank his last bit of tea and thought
about how Hilda had been when he had first met her. Then she was by
far not the bratty boisterous person she was here. She had been
afraid, tired, misunderstood and confused, back in his own world.
The world she called insane.

Hilda jumped up. "I don't know what you are
going to do now. I am going to change and take care of business."
Without waiting for an answer, she bolted up the stairs again, her
mutterings fading as distance increased.

"Holy Bejeebus," William shook his head.

"I heard that! And I don't want to hear that
again!", Hilda yelled from up the stairs. She went into her room,
closed the door and sat on her bed, staring at herself in the
mirror. A strand of hair hung over her face. She blew it away, but
that only helped for a moment.

In anger she turned to her pillow and pounded
on that for a while, until she had lost most of her anxiety. "Damn,
damn, what did you do bringing him here," she asked her image,
panting away. "He's the last one I can have around now, and I'm
stuck with him."

Hilda yanked open her wardrobe door, grabbed
a black dress from it and slammed the door. She looked at her
mirror image again and said: "Stupid witch. Argh!"

In her black dress she told herself to calm
down. "Okay Hilda, play it cool. You're in charge, you're in
control. He is an ordinary, nothing magical about him." Mentally
armed like that she thundered down the stairs.

The table was cleared. William was in the
kitchen trying to wash the dishes, but the brush and the water had
their own ideas about that, with a drenched man as the result.

"Fine, suit yourself if you think you know
better," he snapped at the precocious kitchen, threw the rag in the
water and turned to leave. The rag flew out of the water and hit
him in the neck, water and foam streaming down his back and
shoulders.

William closed his eyes and sighed. "How is
it possible that she can handle this..."

"I don't," Hilda said, who was leaning
against the doorjamb. "I let it handle itself. That's what it's
there for."

William picked the wet rag from his shoulders
and dropped it on the sink. "Thank you for telling me. After the
fight."

She grinned. "It was amusing to watch."

"You...", William said, half threatening.

Hilda flared up. "What, me?" She stood up
straight, waiting for him to try something.

William grabbed the rag and pretended to
throw it at her. With a shriek she shot away from the door opening,
out of the line of fire. The salesman dropped the rag again and
almost collapsed for laughter.

Fuming, Hilda came back into the kitchen. She
had her wand in her hand and murder in her eyes. "You went too
far," she hissed, William barely over his laughing. "This time you
really went too far."

The spell that shot from the wand picked
William up. She carried him into the living room and stuck him
against a wall. It happened so fast that only then William
understood what was happening. He also understood that his speech
was cut off and all he could do was wait.

"You do NOT threaten a witch like me, do you
hear that?", Hilda yelled at William. She pulled him from the wall
and slammed him into it again. "And you do not laugh at a witch
like me either, do you hear that as well?" He slammed into the wall
again. "I am not one to be taken lightly, William Connoley, and
every ordinary here knows that. It is about time that you learn
that too."

She lowered him so his feet were on the floor
and then she released the spell. William thanked her by crashing
onto the floor as if there was no bone in his body. He was
unconscious.

"Hey. Get up." Hilda pushed the man's
shoulder with her foot. "Get up."

William did not move, for obvious
reasons.

Hilda waited a little longer. Her eyes got
large and she kneeled with the man, only then discovering that he
definitely did not hear her. "Oh no, what have I done..."

Carefully she shook William's shoulder as she
said his name, but William was temporarily out of order.

Without taking her eyes from William's
motionless body, she scurried to the table with the crystal ball.
"Babs. Are you there? I need you. Now!"

"Hilly, what's up? You sound like there is a
real problem."

"There is. There is a man in my house
and-"

"What did you say???" Baba Yaga, Hilda's
lifelong girlfriend, sounded scared, shocked and full of
disbelief.

"There is a man in my house and-"

"Damn, girl! Who is it?" Baba Yaga now
sounded as if she wanted to take the next broom over to see this
for herself.

"He is unconscious, Babs, and I knocked him
out. And now I don't know what to do with him."

"Uhm... can't you just put him outside?" The
Russian witch always had a simple and useful solution at hand.

"No, I can't. Not this one." Hilda bit her
lip and prayed that her girlfriend would not ask.

"Why not?"

Damn.

"Grimhilda... don't tell me that what I am
thinking is what has actually happened..."

"Babs, listen, it is not what you think. He
is visiting here and-"

"Whoa. Stop right there, Hilly baby. You have
a MAN in your house. And he is VISITING. There are two things here
that don't make sense already. Are you sure you're okay,
Hilda?"

"Babs, please, I can't go into all this now.
William is on the floor and he is not moving. I think he is still
alive, and what can I do now?"

"Oh, he even has a name. My, oh my..." Baba
Yaga gave her best cackle. Then she became serious, as she
understood that Hilda really was having a problem. "If you can, get
him on a bed. Feel if his forehead is hot, and if it is, cool it
with a wet rag. And keep asking if he can hear you."

"Okay, I can do that. Thanks, Babs." Hilda
waved the connection down and then took her wand again. Magically
she lifted William and floated him up the stairs. She followed and
opened the door to his bedroom, where she put him down.

"Right."

A wet rag appeared in her hand and she put
that on his forehead. "Oh, wait." She took the rag and felt
William's forehead. It was not overly hot, but she put the cloth
back, just in case. Better safe than sorry.

"William. Can you hear me? William. Can you
hear me? William. Can you hear me? ..."

Slowly William regained control of his
awareness again.

"William. Can you hear me? William. Can you
hear me? William. Can you hear me?", he heard someone say.

"I do. I hear you..." Carefully he raised his
hand to the back of his head.

Hilda sighed with relief. "Man, you scared
me!"

"Welcome to the club," William said, "I think
I beat you to it though. Good god, you have hard walls in your
house..." He lifted the cloth from his forehead and blinked his
eyes against the light. Then he noticed where he was and smiled as
he turned to Hilda, whose face still showed worry. "And this time
you put me in bed. That makes us even, I think."

Hilda pouted for a moment, then stood up.
"Looks like I can't leave you alone here." She flicked her wand and
a set of new, dry and clean clothes appeared near his feet. "If you
think you can, change clothes and come down. I have to go out and
will take you with me." Then she marched out of the room and down
the stairs.

William sat up. His head did contain a slight
throbbing, but it was not too bad. He put on the clothes, that were
quite different from the set he had just taken off. A long
robe-like garment, deep blue with silver embroidery, black shoes
and an equally black cloak with a hood.

Dressed like that the salesman went down the
stairs, going slowly as he was not used to wearing something that
resembled a dress so closely. The faces in the pictures all frowned
as he went by, but he did not notice that as he kept watching his
feet. He made it to the ground floor safely.

Hilda sat on the table, dangling her feet as
she was waiting. Two brooms floated nearby in the room.

"Okay," she said resolutely, "let me have a
look at you. We want you to look like the real thing, right?"

"I am sure, even if I don't know what real
thing I should be," William said, wondering what would be
coming.

"These are wizard's clothes. You shouldn't be
wearing them, but since when do I care about rules." Hilda walked
around him, nodding, tugging, prodding. "You're not fat enough to
be a wizard, William," she concluded. "Proper wizards have sturdy
bellies."

"Can't we say I am still in training?",
William attempted, holding his belly. He was very happy with it the
way it was.

Hilda snorted and said a few words in Latin.
And then, no matter how hard William pushed, his belly grew. Not
too much, but it was still considerable.

"Ehm, you will be able to take this away
again, won't you?", he asked, pointing at his extra presence.

"Sure," Hilda said, satisfied with the way
William now looked. "Come on, or we'll be running late."

"Of course. Where are we going?", William
asked as he caught the broom that she made fly towards him.

"Making the rounds. Don't worry, usually it's
fun."

"Usually?", William asked, Hilda was already
out the door, so he just followed her.

"Have fun, William," said the house as the
salesman got onto the broom. It was a bit of a struggle with
skirts, but in the end it worked.

"Thanks, house." William waved at it, and got
hold of the broom again just in time, as Hilda made them take off
quick and steep.

"Oh, forgot: hold on!", she yelled at William
as the brooms quickly gained altitude.

The wind rushed in their faces and made their
hair fly. William noticed that his clothes were amazingly calm in
comparison, only with some kind of wind they would flap a bit, but
that was all. Probably there was some magic involved to make the
ride more comfortable that way, he assumed.

As they had reached cruising altitude, Hilda
slowed the brooms down and pulled up next to William. "Are you
okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. More than fine actually, this
is a real thrill."

"Oh, right." She frowned for a moment. "Now,
we shouldn't need to touch down anywhere, but if we do, I want you
to pull the hood over your face, okay? No need to talk, I'll handle
that."

William nodded, he was certain that Hilda
knew what to say. "No problem so far."

"Cool puppies," Hilda said. "If someone asks
who you are, I'll tell them you are a wizard from far away who is
here on a visit. And that is not even a complete lie, as your
machine is quite a wizard's mechanic." She laughed her cackling
laughter at her own joke, while William stared at her. He was not
sure how someone like Hilda was able to make such a horrible
sound.

"First stop is always the castle," Hilda
said. "Hang on, we're gonna go fast. Walt loves that."

"Walt? Whoa!!" They shot forward like on
brooms out of hell. William hung on to the broomstick and saw that
even Hilda had to hold on tight at this speed. Somehow this worried
him.

They reached the castle in an amazingly short
time. Hilda took them on a slalom through some of the high
watchtowers. William worried again, this time about keeping his
breakfast in place.

Hilda screamed and laughed as they shot past
the windows of the castle, raced over the tops of the trees and
flew around the main building a few times. The wicked witch brought
them to a full stop with an elegant swoop, about four yards over
the royal fountain. "Watch this," she said with a smile on her
face. William would soon learn that this smile meant little
good.

Hilda watched the fountain and the main door
of the castle. "William, watch the door for me. When someone comes
running from it, yell. And hold on to the broom."

William was already squeezing the last drops
of fluid from the wood, but he tried. The door from the castle
moved and he saw a foot coming out.