Him (23 page)

I mumble yes
. I think. Maybe not because he asks me again. I lower my hand to unbutton it, pushing his hand away. His hands grip my waist as he lifts me up onto the edge of the bed. I fall on my back as he picks up my feet, one at a time, and slips off my flats.

"You're
gonna wanna hold on," he says as he lowers the fly of my jeans. I cover my face as I feel them slide down my legs. Once they are off, his hands come back up to rest on the waistband of my underwear. He hesitates until I lift my hips. He pulls them off quietly and drops them. I feel exposed and press my legs together. He tucks his hands behind my knees and tugs me closer to the edge of the bed, gently opening my legs. In vain I reach for a pillow to cover my face with as I blush.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this
again," Will murmurs, his lips hot against my thighs.

I gasp, arching my back. His hands come up to grip my hips, as he begins to consume me. I'm wound so tightly it shocks us both at how quickly I break, my body trembling. Will is suddenly over me
, wiping tears I didn’t know I was shedding from my eyes. I want to tell him I'm fine, but I can't seem to form the words. He folds me into his arms and strokes my hair as I sob into his chest. This day has emotionally kicked my ass. Exhaustion sweeps over me, and I drift to sleep hearing Will whisper he loves me.

Chapter 24

Past

On my first trip to Colorado
, Sawyer tags along. She’s been to Denver before and wants to introduce me to some people. One person in particular, Jared. Sawyer is certain that he will be the one to make me forget all about Will. Plus she has a thing for his roommate, Caleb, so that helps. I’m still a one person enterprise and on a budget. Having a free place to crash while I attempt to woo prospective clients is the only reason I can afford to make the trip. I have meetings scheduled the first two days but can relax the rest of the week.

Jared pick
s us up from the airport, and Sawyer's eyes light up when she sees I think he’s cute. My tell, I’m so busy looking at him I half walk into a pillar in the parking deck. It barely catches my shoulder and I think I play it off well, but she’s on to me. She pushes me towards the front passenger door of Jared's Tahoe before jumping in the back and acting all innocent. As we’re driving to their apartment, I start feeling really hot, and I’m worried that maybe the windy roads are giving me motion sickness. My ass feels like it's on fire. I shuffle in my seat and discretely try and fan myself.

Jared looks over at me
. "Are you okay?"

His concern makes Sawyer pop her head between our seats to look at me
. "Sarah?"

I flush
. This is embarrassing. I don’t want to have to admit I'm feeling queasy. "I'm just warm," I mumble noncommittally.

"Do
you want me to turn off the seat warmer?" Jared asks, his hand poised over the button.

"Oh my God
, I thought I was losing my mind. Yes, please turn off the butt heater."

Sawyer collapses into convolutions
in the backseat while Jared tries to keep a straight face. I roll my eyes. It’s not like either of their asses were on fire. In fact, I’m feeling a little miffed that I received no heads up that my butt was going to be artificially baked. I shuffle in my seat again as my rear returns to room temperature. Jared looks over at me again. Why do I always have to act like a spaz in front of cute boys? Once his eyes are back on the road, I have a better chance to discretely check him out. He's tall. I can't really tell if he's muscular or not since he has a snow jacket on. He seems fit, though. He's wearing a knit hat, so I'll have to wait until we're back at their place to see what his hair looks like. He has pale brown, maybe hazel, eyes and an adorable crooked smile.

I can totally see why Sawyer
thinks I'd like him. I can't deny I find him attractive. Hopefully, I can make it through the next week without walking into anything around him. I sit quietly for the rest of the trip while Sawyer and Jared catch up. Sawyer seems to make friends wherever she goes and somehow stays on good terms and in touch with all of them. She met Jared while protesting against whaling one summer with an environmental group off Japan. His mother is a marine biologist, and he had been along for the adventure.

They
became fast friends and had stayed in touch ever since. Jared only spent summers growing up with his mom, living the rest of the year inland in Colorado. He and Caleb are both snowboarders. Caleb competed the year before but had had a nasty fall and fractured his wrist. Jared isn't very competitive, he mainly boards for fun and works just enough to have plenty of time for it.

He s
ays dude a lot, starting almost every third sentence with it. Out of curiosity, I start mentally counting them to see how many times he'll say it between now and their apartment. I count to thirty-two, I think, as he pulls into a parking spot. In that moment, I'm pretty sure I won't be falling in love with Jared.

He and Caleb live on the ground floor
. He carries our bags as we follow him into his apartment. Caleb is sitting on the sofa, his wrist in a cast. He stands to hug both of us, his hug for Sawyer noticeably longer than mine. This is not their first meeting. Caleb is originally from Minnesota and Jared put Sawyer in touch with him once when she was in St Paul. She had been tagging along with some friends who were in a band. Tired of the VW Bus she had been crammed in, she crashed with Caleb for a weekend. I never got the entire story out of her on what they did that weekend, but I had a good idea. When he sat back down, she sat next to him and fingered his cast as she asked how his recovery was going.

I follow Jared into the kitchen after he sa
ys, "Dude, I could go for a beer. Want one, Sarah?"

I could absolutely use a beer
, but I hesitate when he hands me a Miller Lite. He gives me a look, and I grab it before he thinks that maybe I don’t like the brand. It just reminds me of Will. Being reminded of Will in the presence of the dude-spouting potential replacement is not a good thing. All it does is drive home how not Will Jared is. His strikes are adding up. Now that we are inside, I’m able to check him out without his hat or bulky coat on. He has short, almost buzzed dark brown hair and is built. I find myself staring at his chest and suddenly don’t mind his overuse of the word dude.

Since I ha
ve a meeting the next day, we all just hang out that night and watch a movie. Sawyer and Caleb disappear halfway through, which makes things a little awkward with me and Jared, especially after the movie is unable to drown out the, um, noises they’re making. At first, we both try to pretend like neither of us can hear them. Then I can’t hold it in any longer. I giggle. Thankfully, that seems to break the tension, for a short while anyway. Jared laughs. I laugh. Then we just look at each other, and it’s awkward all over again.

Sawyer and I
are supposed to be sharing the pull out sofa this week. Clearly, it’s all mine now. I just can’t actually go to sleep until Jared gets off of it. I really do need to get a good night’s sleep but don’t have it in me to point blank tell him that. Instead, I yawn, even though I’m not really that tired, and then I yawn again. That doesn’t seem to work. Finally, twenty dudes later, I ask him if I can use his bathroom to get ready for bed. Their apartment is a double master with the living room and kitchen between the two bedrooms, and each bedroom has its bathroom. It’s a cool set up but lacks a standalone guest bathroom.

I grabbed my
PJs and toiletry bag and follow Jared into his room. Very awkward. His room is cool, though. He has boards all over the place. Some are leaned up against the far corner of his room. Others are mounted on the wall above his bed and over his dresser. Seeing them like that, it strikes me that they’re not unlike art. His room is neat even though his bed isn’t made. It smells nice, like aftershave, and it’s faint, but I swear I can smell Febreeze. Jared walks me to the bathroom door and points out where the spare towels are before leaving me so he can set up the pull out.

His bathroom
is also clean for a boy. I laugh when I see how much hair product he has, considering his hair is so short. I go ahead and take a shower since I’m kind of nervous about access to the bathroom the next morning. I’m just stepping out of the shower when I hear a knock on the door. I hurriedly pull on my PJs and crack the door.

"Everything okay?"
I ask.

"Dude, the shower head leaks unless you jiggle the knob
. You can't hear it with the fan on. I wanted to show you what to do before I forgot."

I open the door and step further into the bathroom to make room for him. He
demonstrates proper knob jiggling.

"Why don’t you have maintenance fix it?" I ask when he's done.

"Oh, I gave up on them. They've been up here a bunch of times. Once I figured out how to make it stop on my own, I figured it was pointless to call them again."

"That makes sense
," I concede, brushing my hair.

I inhale when Jared leans over and smells my hair. He straightens and shrugs
. "I like the way your hair smells."

I blush
. "Um, thanks. I'm just going to brush my teeth and go to bed if that's cool."

Jared nod
s and walks out into his bedroom. He doesn’t shut the door behind him, so I brush my teeth quickly and follow him.

"So tomorrow are you still able to give me a lift to my meeting? It's on the early side
, and I don’t want to put you out. You’re already letting Sawyer and me crash here, which is so cool of you."

"Dude, it's my pleasure. What time do you want me to wake you up? I can set my alarm."

After we're clear on all the details, I get settled in the living room. As I drift off to sleep, I wonder what my problem is. Jared is a super hot guy, who I think might be into me, but I just can't stop thinking about Will.

~*~

My meeting goes amazingly. I had spent a lot of time preparing my proposal, and I think it paid off. They seem really interested in my ideas and the services I’m able to offer. The coolest part of my job is working with small business owners. They are so passionate about what they do every day and figuring out employee-sponsored plans is usually not something they want to think about. In fact, most of the time, it scares them, and I love to see the look in their eyes when they realize I can take all of that stress away and free up their time to do what they started their business for in the first place. Growing up, I never thought this would be my dream job, but I loved helping people and knowing what I’m doing makes me feel really good about myself.

Jared is
in his Tahoe waiting for me outside the office building where my meeting was. My ear to ear grin clued him in that the meeting went well so he took me out to lunch to celebrate. I try telling him that even though the meeting went well there was no guarantee that they would actually hire me. It is only fifteen minutes after I said that when they call me. I feel rude for taking the call while Jared and I were at lunch but Jared told me I was crazy and to answer the phone. My mouth drops open when they tell me they loved my proposal and wanted to hire me. Since they were able to decide so quickly there was a chance I would be able to get all of their paperwork together that week.

When I h
ang up with them, Jared walks over to my side of the booth and gives me a hug. I start crying, which makes him nervous. I have to tell him ten times they’re happy tears before he believes me. Why am I not attracted to him? He’s cute and sweet and smells good. I could do way worse. Jared laughs at me the whole ride back to his apartment as I happy dance in my seat. I cannot wait to tell Sawyer how my meeting went and that they have already hired me. That has never happened on the same day I give my presentation. Sawyer and Caleb are eating nachos in the living room when we get back, her legs in his lap.

There
’s a close call with a plate of nachos that Caleb manages to catch with his good hand as Sawyer jumps up to hug me. She wants us to all go out tonight and celebrate, but I put her off until the next night because I still have another meeting the next day. Once the initial rush of adrenaline wears off, I manage to corner Sawyer in the kitchen.

"Not cool last night
. Just saying."

She hugs me
. "I'm so sorry we ditched you guys like that. Did anything happen with you and Jared?"

"No, I just. I don’t know
," I mumble.

She makes a face at me
. "Sarah, Jared is one of the good guys. I've known him a really long time."

I groan
. "I know. He’s hot and he’s been really sweet to me. I even get the feeling that he might be interested in me. I can't explain it." I don’t tell her about the dude thing because it sounds shallow. The rest of the day is low key. I don’t even bat an eye when Sawyer and Caleb head into his room even earlier than they did the last night. I grab my things to get ready for bed and dash into Jared's bathroom before he has a chance to say anything to me. I want to avoid any uncomfortable silences and contemplate strangling Sawyer the next time I see her.